Random Rambles

I just throw up random things at my fancy.

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Ladies, don't ask your men for wardrobe suggestions. They will only suggest outfits that make them want to take it off you faster.😏

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Ever have a moment where something strange or unusual happens, and you don't feel scared or shocked, you can't seem to react, you can only go

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A: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

B: I have a mother?

A: Well someone dropped you out of their pants!

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Today I learned that T. Rex may not have actually ran like the lumbering beasts in Jurassic Park, but might've actually ran like ostriches.

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I put The Amazing Digital Circus characters in Tomodachi Life. Day one, I got Showtime and Abstrabbit.

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A: DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH ?!?

B: Well, considering that just minutes ago I was being told off for trying to jump off a bridge while tied to an anvil, that's a possibility.

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A: There's blood on the floors and fungus on the walls!

B: Just a normal Thursday to me.

A: What have you been DOING on Thursdays?!?

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What gets me about French toast is that its origins lie in Rome long before France was established. Heck it was more popularized in England and Germany as "poor man's pudding".

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So, I'm just pacing my room getting lost in my thoughts. Next thing I know, I've spent an entire hour ranting to myself about coconuts. I'm legit crazy!

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I mean, I'm not the best when it comes to talking. Sure! I'll start out just fine, but before you know it, I'll have shoved my size 10 shoe down my size 2 esophagus.

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You get your act together and be the man she deserves, or you will be sporting a fresh pair of cement kicks and there is a party under the sea that would love to see them.

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I'm an adult and I sit on my couch like a rebellious teen. I'm an adult and I climb the stairs like a dog. I'm an adult and I drink from a juice pack. I AM AN ADULT!!!

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A: What are you doing?

B: Listening to my conscience.

A: What's it saying?

B: I don't know, I don't speak Spanish.

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What in hooplas ring did you do in the washroom?!? You were in there for more than 3 hours, and when you finally leave, I go in to find the toilet smoking a cigarette!!!

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Beasts are coming to our inn tonight

Lets see what animals are staying the night

Hello Giraffe, Hello Dog

Goodnight Giraffe, Goodnight Dog

Hello Hippo, Hello Frog

Goodnight Hippo, Goodnight Frog

Hello Zebra, Hello Cat

Goodnight Zebra, Goodnight Cat

Hello Turtle, Hello Bat

Goodnight Turtle, Goodnight Bat

Hello Phoenix, Hello Fox

Goodnight Phoenix, Goodnight Fox

Hello Cracker, Hello Bomb

Goodnight Cracker, Goodni- AAAAAAAAHHH!!!

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I'm so done with summer already. My work load is tremendous and my back hurts. It sucks working in a hotel during this time.

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A: Why is your sister beating your other sister?

B: For sending me subliminal messages.