ANGST and FLUFF Steve Harrington x reader
𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚: Steve and Y/n are in love, but are both idiots who don’t communicate
A/N: don’t know if I like this. Based on Tripping over air (Aidan Bissett)
Steve was sleeping peacefully, Y/n by his side. But it soon happened, as it had happened many times before, that he was awoken by the girl’s stirring in her sleep. She was once again talking to herself, mumbling words that had no meaning, except for a name being repeated over and over again. Eddie.
Steve’s heart always hurt, hurt for her friend who had been broken up with, and hurt for himself too, who was in love but had no possibilities at all. But still, he could never look away from her in those moments, he could never get enough of what was going on in her head. He wanted to know her, he craved for her deepest thoughts and feelings, yet he was always just a human, a young boy, not allowed to know more than what she led on. So he watched over her, as she navigated through another nightmare.
The only thing he knew for certain was that, while she was always dreaming of her ex-boyfriend, Steve was actually only thinking about her. Always. Perpetually. Irremediably. And he wanted to tell her so bad, but he knew how it would completely change, possibly forever, their friendship. And he knew he rather have her just like that, that in no way at all.
It hurt, he knew that his heart and soul craved for much more than just that, but he also knew that shecould never fall in love with a boy like him. She liked boys who played guitar, their arms covered in tattoos, who drove beat up cars. She loved the instability of it all, he always thought. And he knew he was nothing and had nothing of the sort. He knew, she was only ever made to break his heart, and now he was twisted up in his own feelings, with no way out.
On the other hand or, shall we say, on the other side of that same bed, slept a girl who wouldn’t have disagreed more with Steve’s thoughts, had she known. Y/n dreamt often of Eddie, yes, but not in the way Steve imagined. She dreamt sometimes of arguing with her ex, sometimes of becoming friends again. But it was never in a lover’s way. They had broken up because, well, although they loved each other, they had soon understood that it was more in a friendly kind of way. And, most importantly, they had both understood that they were in love with other people. Y/n’s lover boy being none other than her best friend Steve.
She didn’t know when it had started. She sometimes supposed it started when he saved her from a Demogorgon, a few years back. But, in honesty, she actually felt that it only ever bloomed when it was too late for anything to ever happen, when he started screwing around with other girls. She had soon understood, as she saw him take girl after girl to the cinema or to the restaurant, that what she felt was also jealousy. Jealousy for the girls that had been asked out, for those who had the chance of knowing him in the way that was forbidden to her. So the night she slept, she told Eddie all about her doomed love, they argued and made peace and every morning she was sure she was going to tell Steve everything, but it never happened.
She loved sleeping by his side. She felt these were the only moments she had him truly for herself. And there was something… something about knowing him in the most vulnerable moments one can have, that made her heart skip a beat. And that, at least for the moment being, would be enough for her.
It was a Saturday night in the late of October, the light had faded faster than usual, and Hawkins was getting colder and colder, as Y/n waited under a coated sky. Steve was never late for their weekly appointments, but this time he was. And he had been for nearly an hour, at that point.
She had awaited him patiently, thinking she might have messed up the time, thinking maybe he had gotten stuck at work. But hoping he would, in the end, come around.
But he hadn’t. So Y/n took her bag and walked home, even though it was a bit late, a bit chilly, and a bit far away.
She was feeling angry, but mostly vulnerable: left alone with her thoughts, she was thinking once again that it was maybe time to move on, because to look for love where it could only hurt wasn’t right.
Each step she took, the more she grew convinced, as if it had been the fresh temperature to finally unlock this awareness in her.
It will hurt, she told herself, to not only lose him as a possibility, but also as a friend. But in the long run, she tried to repeat herself, it would be for the best. For the both of us.
As she slowly went on, behind her grew the sound of a car, moving fast through the night, stopping suddenly right beside her. The windscreen rolled down and there she was staring right into Harrington’s eyes, eyes full of a shared sadness and anxiousness.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” He asked her, pleading. But Y/n remained silent, an anger unknown to her growing more and more inside of her, mixed up with a broken and sad heart. The perfect cocktail for a disaster.
“All right, if you’re not going to talk to me at least let me take you home”
“I don’t know” he shrugged “maybe you could come to my place like we had planned”
“No, Steve, I’m not coming with you, I prefer walking to my own home”
Steve felt his blood turning cold as he realised that it was worse than he thought. Y/n wasn’t going to let this go.
“No come on Y/n I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be late… I just…”
“You forgot. Say it Steve. I don’t care that you forgot, I don’t care”
“Then why are you so angry at me?”
“Because Steve. You don’t respect me. You don’t care about me. You just care about yourself and your numerous girlfriends. You were always so self-absorbed that you didn’t even ever notice me in the first place”
“What are you saying Y/n?” He asked her slowly
“I’m saying there’s nothing more to discuss between the two of us. The matter is settled. I don’t want you in my life. Not anymore”
And with that she resumed walking towards her house, now growing in view just at the end of a still rather long street.
Steve couldn’t manage. He already knew that he couldn’t way before it had actually happened, but now his heart had been broken for real. It had not mattered how many layers he had used to protect himself, it had not mattered how he had cared for her, now she was walking away from him and so many things had been left unsaid between the two of them. For instance, Steve wished he had had the possibility of explaining himself.
The truth was Steve had gone to Eddie that night, told him how he felt and told him how Y/n was still in love with Eddie. But what he hadn’t known, as he sacrificed his feelings so that his best friend’s could be nourished, was that he had gotten it all wrong. Eddie laughed in his face, and calmly explained to him that he wasn’t the one whom Y/n loved. But that rather it was Steve himself.
He hadn’t believed it, not truly, until he reached Y/n down that road and she had walked away from him and their relationship. Only then, had he really understood what Eddie had tried to tell him.
But he wouldn’t let her go. No. Not now that they had a possibility. He sped once more through the night, quickly catching up to the only girl he had ever truly loved.
“Leave me alone” she kept telling him.
But no, Steve wouldn’t hear any of it. He turned off the car, leaving it in the bloody middle of the road and ran up to her.
His hand swiftly took hers, making her turn on the spot. She had been crying hard, and Steve felt the necessity to clean away those tears with his fingers, but when he tried to do so she avoided him.
“Don’t try to fool me Harrington. I can’t take it anymore”
“I’m not trying to Y/n” he told her seriously.
“Steve this is bad. Us…” she told him pointing between the two of them “…we are bad together.”
“What do you mean why? I’m here waiting for you as you fuck somebody else, I’m in love with you while the only thing that you’re capable of doing is to delude me. You give me affection but only just as much, and then you swing away once more into the arms of some girl that only ever likes you for your looks. This isn’t working. I want more, more than just a stupid friendship but you could never give that to me, no, I understand that now” Y/n’s eyes began to water again, but in reality she felt numb, the cold had crept inside of her and made her heart go cold too. It couldn’t hurt more than it had already done, she told herself. This, this was the limit one’s heart could take.
Steve looked deep in those amber eyes, swimming in them to find their core, to see the truth in Y/n’s soul. And as he did, he did find that everything she told him, that everything Eddie told him, was true.
He couldn’t keep himself any longer. He plunged to her, seeking oxygen as if his lungs had stopped working, his lips intertwining with hers in the most desperate but passionate kiss.
And they stayed there for a while, cars passing by trying to avoid Steve’s car in the middle of the road, the chilling wind caressing their hair and the night showing them a new path they could lead, together.
“I’m no good with words, not like you. But damn me if I don’t love you. I tried to find you in every girl I’ve ever kissed, but no one was even close to be as pretty and wonderful as you. I always played it cool, because i didn’t want to get it wrong. But now I know and I can tell you, how much I truly love you Y/n Y/l/n.”
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