Chillin'

Just a girl with sitcom level bad luck tryna figure life out with minimal existential meltdowns

[amthsts-remade-deactivated20191]

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[inkskinned]

on a scale of one to ten how sad are you.

you almost say seven but the answer floats in your lungs like rising mud. you shift your shoulders. some part of you is already forming an excuse. that it’s not that bad sometimes. one, two, three on a day that the clouds are out. you’re just complaining about stuff. yesterday you laughed past a brick of a four, does that make the brick come down to a two-point-five.  the solid seven panic attack of last tuesday feels somehow like a little thorn, just a regular day full of a gentle three-point-nine earthquake rocking after yesterday’s close-to-an-eight. see but if tomorrow you have a real bad day, it will make today look simple.

and what if. what if tomorrow it’s a big old red eight-point-nine. like one of those days where sirens are going off in every part of you but you’re stuck behind a glass window watching it all burn down. like one of those days that your skin against the air feels foreign. like too much of everything. like sitting-in-the-shower, like can’t-eat, like the tide isn’t just coming in, it came while you were sleeping and now you’ve gotta learn how to swim. like bounce me against a bullet hole kind of day.

you keep numbers like nine and ten way out of reach. those are for the people who really are suffering. you’ve got no excuse. nine and ten are funeral numbers, for real problems, not yours, no. and sometimes you’re fine. and you’re kind of used to it. and it’s not sad, it’s just numb like a television caught on static. numb like i can’t remember if i care about this. numb like nothing works but i can’t be bothered to fix it. that’s not sad that’s every day stuff. everybody feels like this, right? feels like they’ve been shut off. right.  

maybe five. right in the middle. like not gonna shoot myself but i’m not wasting your time. a nonanswer. like could be worse could be better. like i need help but i don’t want you to worry even though i need someone to worry about me because i can’t worry about myself. maybe five. but what if five is too small. what if five is too big. what if -

“on a scale of one to ten,” he repeats into your silence, and then pauses. “and please be honest about this.”

[arabwife]

eventually you’ll end up where you need to be, with who you’re meant to be with, and doing what you should be doing. patience is the key tho

[flowerfae]

wait… if you have social anxiety… and i have social anxiety…

then who’s going to order the food?

[alohdark]

The third friend who has the Mom Friend anxiety override.

[bnmxfld]

[difficult]

“There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, fall asleep in the woods with friends, wander around the city at night, sit in a coffee shop on your own, write on bathroom stalls, leave notes in library books, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Do all things with love, but don’t romanticize life like you can’t survive without it. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.”

— Emery Allen  (via alunit)

[erymanthian]

[memewhore]

[anancientheart]

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

[anancientheart]

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

[soothingmask1]

“A lover doesn’t discourage your growth. A lover says, ‘I see who you are today, I cannot wait to see who you become tomorrow.’”

[bigspender]

can ppl like……… stop having a concept of me in their head ……… no object permanence here…..i only exist when im right in front of you….. no memories allowed. thx for understanding. 

[witchjock-deactivated20221208]

I want fewer movies about difficult white men reluctantly learning to be less awful

[mysharona1987]

[butchflirt]

[purplebuddhaproject]

“Anytime you’re gonna grow, you’re gonna lose something. You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.”

— James Hillman (via purplebuddhaquotes)

[wholesome-suggestion]

everyone experiences the flow of life different. to compare yourself to someone else is to unnecessarily rob yourself of joy. they are simply on a different chapter of their journey, they are not better than you, they are just like you only at a different point in their life. some people move fast while other’s need to take their time. there is no need to rush and become someone you are not in order to get to the same point as another. you are doing fine where you are. focus on your own journey. happiness comes from your own accomplishments, not from wishing you had someone else’s.

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

things that take time:

- loving yourself

- meaningful relationships

- accepting who you are

- recovery

- healing from heartbreak

- changing habits

- improving at a skill

- achieving your goals

[lovely-kittens-blog-blog]