my pillow is my one true love

and my bed, too

[bugshroom]

if i were a river hog and you were also a river hog we could hoggle in the river together forever

[bugshroom]

this could be us

[o-lanterns]

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

[jewish-alluka-deactivated202401]

WHAT does this tag mean

[starblaster]

Richard Nixon once called in staff to help him open an allergy-pill bottle. It was the childproof type of bottle, with instructions saying “Press down while turning.” The cap had teeth marks on it where Nixon had apparently tried to gnaw it open

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[saint-batrick]

HAVE Z AND ALPHA NOT BEEN MADE AWARE? HAVE WE FAILED AT CONTINUING TO MEME THE HELL OUT OF IT? ARE WE, IN FACT, THE GRANDMAS BECAUSE WE ARE THE ANCIENT KEEPERS OF THE INCEST COFFEE KNOWLEDGE???

[fatsexybitch]

[lizardbeths]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

A fandom since 2011 guys

[quarra]

[marzipanandminutiae]

(If anybody is wondering “how could they write that and not anticipate the reaction?“ It’s because the sister was supposed to be much younger in the original draft. Like. An actual child. But they aged her up and never bothered changing the dialogue, so…)

[wemblingfool]

It’s honestly not the writing or the age, or even the acting that screams “incest.”

It’s the directing and camera work. It’s specifically the long lingering gazes.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[generation-snooze]

[firefox-official]

anything i could ever write is not even half as funny as this calvin and hobbes strip

[computationalcalculator]

while it’s a great comic, but it’s also in that weird grey-zone of “references where the reference source has been lost”. rather than Calvin just being funny and weird, this one is referencing a very specific (and at the time, common) PSA:

[naamahdarling]

And talk about "references where the reference source has been lost", that PSA arose because of the Atlanta Child Murders.

There's...layers, here.

[penroseparticle]

This website is elite. This website is the blueprint, it's the pinnacle. There is no website like it. I lwill never leave this website

[leefi]

[gay-impressionist]

If you are silent about your pain they'll kill you and say you enjoyed it - Zora Neale Hurston

[staticsable]

This is one of those posts where I feel like I'm doing others and myself a disservice by not sharing. I wish someone had shown me this a long time ago.

Maybe I'd be having to do less work to break out of this shell, now.

[schlarklezyaoi]

the fact that we only have “herculean task” and “sisyphean task” feels so limiting. so here’s a few more tasks for your repertoire

icarian task: when you have a task you know you’re going to fail at anyways, so why not have some fun with it before it all comes crashing down

cassandrean task: when you have to deal with people you KNOW won’t listen to you, despite having accurate information, and having to watch them fumble about when you told them the solution from the start (most often witnessed in customer service)

feel free to chime in i ran out of ideas much faster than i anticipated

[sherbertilluminated]

Promethean task: opposite of a Cassandraean task. You have the right information, and SOMEONE has to share it. But it's all in the delivery and if you're the person to identify the problem you WILL be hated forever.

[thearrogantemu]

Oedipal Task: (1) Attempting to avoid an unspeakably awful outcome and in doing so creating the circumstances that will bring it about. (2) Trying to solve an problem and discovering that you are in fact the problem you are trying to solve.

[theoppositeofprofound]

Odyssean task: you’ll complete it but it’ll take 20 times longer than it should and involve multiple side quests and mini-adventures

[lierdumoa]

Pandorean task: some people fucked around and now it's your job to make sure they find out

[ryebreadgf]

not going to lie guys i don’t think being employed is for me

[prettyaveragewhiteshark]

devastated to report that being unemployed is also terrible

[rosalinastan]

it's almost like we need to entirely restructure society or something

[veralena-deactivated20240731]

man this politics shit is easy

[calvinandhobbescomic]

[under-the-arch]

No, Calvin was right

[distributing-direwolves]

Calvin was 100% right.

[bogleech]

It actually pains and stresses me to think of how much living gets robbed from kids

[soberscientistlife]

I like this-a whole lot

[weloveshortvideos]

[treeloverfan]

Was this the intention

[falafelpide-deactivated20170822]

very tired cat writing a term paper

[homunculus-argument]

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

[stele3]

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

[stele3]

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

[gone--ghoul]

😘

[colorful-horses]

why he eat the berry like that

[irascibleblackguard]

comments on this one are a goldmine stg

I wanna add that years ago I watched one of the Strawberry Shortcake specials with my little brother, and he said of the Pieman, “Uugh! He’s always…doin’ things, and coming outta places.”

It’s all true. Every word.

[dduane]

So true, in both the Strawberry Shortcake and the (much wider) meta senses.

Let’s take a moment to salute the Pieman’s voice actor, Robert Ridgely, who had an extraordinary career in both live action and voiceover work. Scroll down through his credits on the IMDb page and you’ll be amazed.

He had a rep in the business for committing absolutely wholeheartedly to anything he did… and you can hear it here. :)

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[imanutcase-10]

Then bring me luck

[thirddeadlysin]

the day after I posted this last time I was notified that I was selected for a really cool mentorship gig and got an unrelated glowing review at work

[cannibalchicken]