A Flutter of Sparrows

DID System of 5+ | Collective go by Passerine, he/they | •a collection of silly little guys•

[little-system-things]

Hello! I'm a system, I have 6 (and counting) headmates;

- Whisp (she/they), the silly. [Dormant(?)]

- Leif (he/they), previously known as "Kir," usually dormant, when here; co-fronts most of the time, fronts quite a bit too.

- Ivis (he/him), rarely fronts (doesn't like to). Usually hangs out in the back, occasionally commenting. Only fronts if he has to, co-fronts from time to time. Fronting is usually a case of "last to say 'not-it"

- (Doesn't want to be known. Doesn't front.)

- The Collector (he/they) introject from The Owl House, struggles with fronting still, but is co-conscious quite a bit. Open to interacting with sourcemates, and really any other kids.

- The Hollow Knight/ Pure Vessel (they/it) introject from Hollow Knight. Nonverbal, ok interacting with sourcemates. Usually dormant though.

- Simon (he/him) introject from Adventure Time. Fairly self sufficient and will probably never use Tumblr.

This is a blog I made for talking about system related things without having to deal with all the syscourse drama.

Now with all of that done, NO SYSCOURSE ALLOWED HERE! I mean it! I don't want to hear "endos this" or "anti endos that!" No drama here!

Anyways, a lot of the stuff I post here will be mostly about my own experiences, I can't really speak on things I have no experiences on.

(got these from @/ sysboxes )

[silkenbride]

the pale gift, beloved child of the beast

[little-system-things]

@dunaln2

[syscultureis]

Plural culture is making everyone watch the same show for the millionth time 🫶

.

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

[creation-help]

Attention

If you're schizophrenic/schizospec in some way, have/experience psychosis, extreme paranoia, hallucinations, delusions, or in general have a mental illness / neurological condition that is widely demonized (like most cluster b disorders)

Could you please take a moment to leave a word or two about representation? I'm making this post so that people with misunderstood mental conditions could get a boost in talking about representation, and for everyone else to learn something valuable relating to portraying characters like that in original works (or fanworks too!)

Basically, I'm gathering input from people who live with these conditions about what they'd like to see more, in terms of representation in media, harmful stereotypes or pitfalls to avoid, and how to appropriately portray mental illness in fantasy settings for example.

So if you have anything you think would be valuable to know for people outside your group or community, feel free to add on! In reblogs or comments. No pressure though! You can only mention one thing for example, or maybe one criticism and one wish for what you'd like in representation. Don't be ashamed to go on a long rant either, if you have stuff to say! Whatever you feel like commenting on! I'll try to boost all/as many responses as this post gets.

If you're not part of the group I'm asking input from, please reblog for a wider reach if possible!

Obviously I know even people within the same communities can have different opinions and preferences for representation, which is why I wish we could get a wide range of responses to this.

Thank you in advance!

[collectivelycloud]

Friendly reminder that you do NOT owe anyone information about your headmates/alters/parts and this can be even things as simple as names and pronouns, and you do not absolutely have to sign off of every post.

Us personally, we feel really uncomfortable giving out any information about us unless we’re comfortable with the person we’re giving it out to. Currently only one person in real life know we’re a system, and a few others online. We don’t even sign off regularly when interacting with those people, as we don’t see a need to. This is also generally for our own safety, as we don’t want people to completely know us as a system when we’re still figuring out ourselves.

And on another note, this NOT to bash systems who make intros, use sign offs, etc. That is perfectly fine if you’re comfortable doing so; this post is mostly for newly discovered systems who may think they owe people all of the information about their system.

If you sign off posts, cool! If you don’t, that’s fine too!

If you make an intro, awesome, it’s nice to meet you! If you don’t, that’s okay.

You don’t have to be overt, even in system-aligned spaces, however I do understand the freedom in being able express yourself outwardly.

[lefluoritesys]

Source

-host

[schrodingerscollective]

[cats-n-quests]

Heres a reminder for you that being dissociated isn't limited to the common misconception where you are frozen in place, incapable of doing anything or even thinking, or experiencing a significant time gap,, those things. (This is a very important post, read till bottom so im happy!)

And while its hard to spot the milder signs when you're dissociating, don't worry i got you covered by bringing awareness, im showing what those signs could look like:

Dazing/blanking out several times

Hands looking weird (depersonalization)

Surroundings also looking weird (derealization)

Feeling detached emotionally, physically, or both

Light-headedness

Less reactive in responding

Forget things more often

Unable to focus or keep concentration straight

And many more..!

When you have multiple of those signs at once, then chances are you are dissociating (extra note that it can also co-occur with derealization/depersonalization). While it can be caused by various factors, i would like to add that it may or may not get worse as time passes and no one wants that thing to snowball until it got too bad (remember, preventing now is better than dealing later) so having a few tips would help:

Grounding (sensory): listening to music, feeling different textures, paying attention to things in your surroundings, trying different fragrant or scents, have some snacks to occupy your senses

Grounding (physically): feel your chest as you breathe, get your body moving to redirect focus, splash some cold water, hold something you can squeeze (such as a stress ball)

Practice being mindful. As it can help you re-anchor back to reality faster, regulate better, building more resilience, increasing awareness of oneself's state

Sometimes we go do our day without giving a thought that were detached from reality, usually by going autopilot and scrolling through social medias without being aware (well, atleast for me) and forget lots of things while being dysregulated at the end. So by being aware of the mild signs and incorporating grounding skills im sure memory gaps and those funny aftermath stuffs won't be a problem anymore, have a good day peeps.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that another sign is your hearing feels muffled, that you can hear sounds feel more distant despite close, i thought it could be grouped with the “less reactive” before.

EDIT 2: It is true that sometimes these techniques will not work,, so it's recommended to create a peaceful environment in hopes of going away sooner when waiting it out. grab some videos to watch, put some of your favorite musics or cuddle your soft pillows (if any, pets) and stay comfy! Do not stress about it because it'll be counterproductive. Full explanation at here.

- j

[sys-polls]

do you experience amnesia (memory loss) between alters?

yes; always full-on blackout amnesia.

yes; always partial amnesia.

yes; sometimes partial, sometimes blackout.

depends; sometimes partial, sometimes blackout, but also sometimes none!

nope :-)

unsure!

not a traumagenic system // see results.

Voting ended onNov 1, 2023

[schizopositivity]

Words that are very important to schizo-spec and psychotic people because they are the few words that accurately describe our unique and often life-changing experience:

• delusion/delusional

• hallucinate/hallucinating

• psychosis/psychotic

•schizophrenia/schizophrenic

• paranoia/paranoid

• word salad

Please don't use these words incorrectly. It does directly impact us. Yes the meaning of words evolves, but we don't have words to replace these ones. But you have words to replace these if you are using them as descriptors for something evil, unpredictable, selfish, contradictory, scared, misspeaking, etc.

[vagfullaweed-deactivated2024082]

Question for fellow people with psychosis, especially schizoaffective/schizophrenic

Is it normal to have intense, interconnected dreams that are so connected to each other that it feels like you are living a double life when you sleep?

They are getting scarier and scarier as nights pass

[akabirdieart]

Gender & Multiplicity: A Primer On The Intersection of Transness & DID REDAC FourOFour Spring 2023

Keep reading

[sysboxes]

[Text: This user's alter count somehow always stays small, and they are prone to dormancy.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[sysboxes]

[Text: This system’s collective identity is bisexual.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[sysboxes]

[Text: This system follows fandom blogs for their fictives but is too nervous to openly interact.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use!

[sillyponee]

trying to poorly explain polyfragmented DID because i think people with regular DID don’t fully get it

regular DID: its like being at a social gathering. Size will vary, you probably know who’s there at least vaguely. Wether they’re a partner or a friend or a friend of a friend or an ex or an old classmate, you’ll probably see them again and say hello at least.

c-DID: it’s like being in a huge crowded shopping centre or mall, there are potentially hundreds of thousands of people most of whom you don’t know and will never see again, some people are in groups, some alone- you might have a few friends there who you’ll stick with, you might run into people you know there, you might meet new people, but you won’t ever meet everyone there, and trying to is a Sisyphean task. There are thousands of shops all teaming with different people, there are lounge areas and food courts with other people, but it’s never all the people.

see, while if you’re at a social gathering you’ll be able to talk to the people attending and have group meetings and organize things, It is impossible to do that in a crowded mall or shopping centre or city street. Similarly, while things like simplyplural and tracking and group discussions might be good for someone with regular DID, it’s impossible for someone who’s polyfragmented to do that. It’s not just having a large alter count, it’s being surrounded by strangers and people you will never see again, it’s having too vast of a space and too many sub compartments and ecosystems to ever conceivably work as a group or “agree” on anything.

I think the larger DID community expects us to work the way they do, but we cant. We have our own methods of functioning as a collective and its a lot more complicated for us in a lot of ways, so just generally please stop pressuring polygragmented systems to work the way you do.

[scarsmood-deactivated20240624]

This. It's extremely frustrating to go into therapy and the goal is communication. I'll be real with you dawg the last time I saw everyone was never. My first therapist pushed integration hard to the point where we 'integrated' down to 4 alters so we could function better in a therapy setting.

It didn't work and now theres a good chunk of alters that are pissed about even going to therapy. My system is very complex in that it's a self interested eco system. Some alters i'll never meet as a fronter because that would mean their job has fundamentally failed.

It's difficult trying to define who you are when you is always shifting anyways.