its not beer for dogs, idiot. i wouldnt drink that crap. its beer made from dogs.

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DEAR READER
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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@littleearringfag
its not beer for dogs, idiot. i wouldnt drink that crap. its beer made from dogs.
Soooo… I met Jackie Chan at the Dallas airport and the experience was, shall we say, extremely disappointing? He wouldn’t kiss my BARELY INFECTED pet toad and when I asked if he would buy me a beer I did NOT mean some watered down American pilsner!!!
not today...
they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet
At the post office today:
Man with beautiful silver undercut and a coach bag: can I get a sheet of stamps please
Clerk: does it matter what kind?
Man, with homosexual despair: EVerything matters to me, unFORtunately.
@importantpics
it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed
cave divers when they are happily married with kids and beloved by their community but theres a crack in the bottom of a lake called The Devil’s Rotting Esophagus where 57 people have died
when i go on hrt i want a tattoo to commemorate it. any ideas
if karl marx was born today he would be a baby. and it would be his birthday
do u have a vibrator in ur pants or is ur penis just so scared
It's really quite bizarre how much work in trans healthcare bases itself on the idea that a patient who deliberately seeks out the Penis Removal Doctor and says "Yes, Penis Removal Doctor, I am certain that I would like to have my penis removed" might be lying to the Penis Removal Doctor, so that they can have their penis removed without actually wanting that.
one must imagine Sisyphus as having a big, round, juicy ass
when i was but a wee babe the wet nurse accidentally dropped a sufferingberry into my open mouth and thats how this all got started