Random hilarity with a drug induced smile :)

I'm Kahan. I'm 31. I'm a pagan. I'm pansexual. This blog has no purpose. It's literally anything, and everything that I like. Enjoy.

[toastbutteregg]

[should-be-sleeping]

Auto-followed.

[narwhalsarefalling]

lol i went to delete a twitter account for reasons (i ran a satire account of my university’s president) and it wouldn’t let me.

[narwhalsarefalling]

EXCELLENT idea give me a moment

[narwhalsarefalling]

wow i can’t believe that worked

[yourlocal-charlatan]

[Image ID: the first image is a screenshot of a tag that says #turn it into a musk parody account and get it banned

The second image is a screenshot of the now-suspended account. /end ID]

[seraphiclore-deactivated2026030]

for reference: the time between “turn into musk parody account” and “suspended” was 8 minutes

[doggosource]

[soul-hammered]

[stabbyflower]

And this is why voting matters, no matter what.

Seventy THOUSAND hungry children will get fed, because the people of Colorado said "lets not starve kids". And that's powerful and beautiful and good.

[charlesoberonn]

The reason why old consoles today (Wii, Xbox 360, PS3) don’t feel “retro” is because the change between them and modern consoles is mathematically less noticeable.

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

It’s… Beethoven…

[3liza]

the counterpoint to the millennial experience of thinking adult life would involve a lot more quicksand is that it turns out evil doomsday cults really are behind a lot of stuff irl. kind of a neat consolation prize

[former-portland-mando]

@portraitoftheoddity my dear friend... What?

Please explain and tell us your tale. You've apparently lived what so many of us feared to dream.

[portraitoftheoddity]

So, seven years or so ago, when I had been broken up with my fiancé for like, 4 years and was in the middle of my slut phase, my parents decided that the money they had set aside for 'wedding budget' was better used on a family vacation to Iceland, which was honestly 100% the right decision.

While we were there, we ended up hiking on a glacier with a guide, which was pretty fucking cool.

Now a thing about Iceland is it's volcanic af, so the glaciers all kinda look like cookies & cream, with a whole lot of very dark, very fine volcanic ash mixed in and striated with the ice. Ice which is also full of deep moulins and crevasses and other holes, and which forms a lot of runoff water when you're there in the middle of summer.

Turns out, ash is a very fine granular material!

Our guide, Víðarr, was very particular about us only stepping where he stepped, since he was very good at determining what was safe, solid ice, and what wasn't. The day was going pretty well with a gorgeous hike across this glacier, until I took a step about 8 inches to the left of where Víðarr stepped.

Quicksand is: "a colloid consisting of fine granular material (such as sand, silt or clay) and water."

Ash is a very fine granular material!

What looked like ground was in fact quicksand, which I learned very quickly as I was schloped into freezing glacial quicksand up to my thigh and made a very undignified sound.

Víðarr, being a professional, immediately leapt into action, holding out his ice axe for me to grab on to so he could yank me out to safety (with a lot more schlorping noises).

My parents, being jerks (affectionate), told him "no no no, put her back in, we need a picture!!!" because they were laughing their asses off at my predicament.

I, being surprised, wet, cold, and very startled that quicksand was an actual problem in my life, mostly continued to make undignified and distressed sounds.

So anyway, that's how my non-wedding lead to me falling in quicksand on top of a glacier downwind of a volcano, and summarily hiking several miles in one frozen and ash-black pantleg and boot across the Icelandic countryside to the immense entertainment of my family. And if a dude named Víðarr tells you to only step where he steps, ONLY STEP WHERE HE STEPS.

[devilsss-dyke-deactivated202202]

I had a dream that David Tennant read too many of those “David Tennant is UNRECOGNIZABLE in Amazon’s Good Omens!” clickbait articles and decided to audition to be the Doctor again while wearing his Crowley wig and sunglasses because he thought maybe they’d think he wasn’t David Tennant. For some reason they rolled with it and actually cast him as the 14th Doctor, who was finally ginger.

[popsunner]

That is THE funniest thing I’ve heard all day

[kropotkhristian-deactivated2019]

I don’t understand people who refuse to give money directly to the poor and hungry, but apparently give to charities, when they say “That way, I know where my money is going.” No you don’t. That is the quickest way to lose track of where your money went. You have no clue what that charity did with your money. You have no meaningful way to find out either. If you give directly to the poor and hungry, you know exactly where your money is going - to that person who needs it. You couldn’t be more sure about where your money ended up. It ended up in that hungry person’s pocket.

[faremises]

[beardedmrbean]

gotta admit, I'm impressed with their dedication to the bit

[redstonedust]

always blows my mind as a european when people talk about states like “yeah theres nothing in ohio/montana/wyoming/etc” because i look at a map like but. but theyre so big. every state could qualify as its own country what do you mean theres nothing there. and then i ask people from those states and theyre like “yeah theres nothing here” what do you mean theres nothing there!!!

[yokelfelonking]

What’s in the steppes of Russia, or the northern forests of Scandinavia? What’s in the Sahara desert?

[redstonedust]

id like us to sit here and identify some key differences between the sahara desert and ohio for a moment

[yokelfelonking]

as a former Ohio resident I think that the key difference is that the sahara probably has more jobs unrelated to meth

[redstonedust]

untapped meth market in the depths of the sahara desert

[i-purple-bts]

I remember the map of the soul on:e performance when kookie was out here taking bitches actual souls

[thiswomanshouldbewriting]

Absolutely devastated at the idea that, for most of human history, for you to hear music there had to be someone physically playing/singing in your vicinity. I would have gone rabid over a good musician.

[bethanydelleman]

Makes you really appreciate why "playing music and singing" was an attractive feature in a woman...

Sure, she's got no fortune, but I really need my jams.

[oodlenoodleroodle]

In my region you find out from the court records that when a group of rowdy drunks went to cause mayhem in town in the middle of the night, often their first stop was to go drag a musician (pelimanni, spelman) out of bed and force him to follow them around playing his instrument (usually a violin/fiddle or a fiddle-like instrument like jouhikko, could be an accordion).

[funnytwittertweets]

[taee]

mischievous taetae playing jokes on hobi

[cherumie]

what if a rat said cheesus christ

[rice-pudding-slaps]

for the Spanish crowd: y si las ratas dijeran quesucristo

[nako-doodles]

two types of december babies: jin - hates being cold, will always bring up how cold it is & tae - goes out in a tshirt while it's snowing

and thats why one was born in early days of dec and one is literally 2 days away from not being a 95liner