Meth! Dat's right!

[maleboar]

Lets go All Over The Fucking Place with mama

[unconventiononthelawofthesea]

atheist quarterback throws a hail darwin

[akindlyowl]

agnostic quarterback throws a hail maybe

[sunderwight]

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

[great-art-and-a-purple-tongue]

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

[scribeofchaos]

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

[glumshoe]

I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?

[glumshoe]

Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.

[countesspetofi]

The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.

[glumshoe]

there are only two genders: frog and pig

[forestdwellingrat]

I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either

1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR

2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children

yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology

[glumshoe]

oh god

[sailor-lady]

Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it

[glumshoe]

Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?

[jenivi]

[aflowerthatbloomsinadversity]

Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like

So do with that what you will

[fremedon]

Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):

[capitalism-and-analytics]

Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha

[la-pou-belle]

I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.

[kestrelsparverius]

[adrnired]

In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.

[autisticexpression]

This is the worst addition to this post

[araku-validrava]

I am reminded of Treasure Planet.

In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies

[wizardlizardinhislair]

I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?

Or is that just something my brain made up?

[ridiculouslyphotogenicsinosauru]

[kingscrown666]

Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman

[the-haiku-bot]

Last time I saw this

post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at

the second Eggman

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[astronomical-bagel]

anyone in this thread smoke weed

[susiron]

In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them

(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)

[spaceinvaydr]

[headspace-hotel]

I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.

[hiveswap]

Amogus

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[trinketcourt]

I truly think this is one of the funniest pages from the first IDW run

[littlegreenjuicebox]

Frightened my computer with my raw, unmatched speed.

[pangur-and-grim]

I was so baffled by this until I remembered that I use my kettle, and so it looks like I'm pouring boiling water on my plants

[pangur-and-grim]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I’m not going to explain myself

[madtzi]

The light of the Radiance ft Quirrel

[ghostofhelena]

What I am going to get the most amusement and joy out of from this whole experience (outside of the movie itself and watching Mark succeed and achieve a longtime dream of his) is 100% watching Hollywood (like mainstream Hollywood and the entertainment industry, who still do not see Youtubers like Mark as legitimate creators) lose their fucking minds over how successful this film is.

This movie is officially in more theaters than Zootopia 2 and I guarantee you there are going to be studio heads and execs banging their heads against the wall because how does a self-financed, indie horror debut feature film by a relatively "unknown" (unknown outside of the sphere of Youtubers and streamers/gamers; I known In Space got nominated for an Emmy but Mark did say he was largely ignored by the media at the ceremony) filmmaker, based on an indie horror game, create this much traction?

Mark is an anomaly in the entertainment industry and I love that for him.

[the-teapot-collection]

theres a couple critic reviews on rotten tomatoes rn and reading them as entertainment is rly fun, especially the first one which apparently seems to think his main audience for this film is full children

[mawofthemagnetar]

Tarot cards lost all mystical power in my eyes when I found out that old Italian men use tarot decks to gamble. Someone’s Nonno is out here playing The Tower in attack mode to take his buddy Sergio to the cleaners, and I think that’s beautiful.

[mlembug]

Now if Iron Lung the movie gets a Blu-ray release, I suggest adding in the director's commentary starting with "Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier..." and also Markiplier in the corner.

[mlembug]

#the person behind me in the theatre offered me a tiny paper markiplier #and a toothpick and some tape so that i could tape him to my glasses #so for the entire film i had an extremely blurry tiny paper markiplier in the corner of my vision #and it actually enhanced the experience i think #shoutout to the person behind me for printing too many markipliers and offering him to my friends and I #genuinely made my night it was so wonderful LOL #iron lung

upgrading the prev's tags into a post

[cityyliights]

live markiplier reaction

[thefallenangelsgang]

I don't say this lightly. As someone aspiring and training to work in film, Mark Fischbach just changed the industry.

An independent, self financed, self distributed, self directed, self acted film set in one shoe-box sized room not only opened already making profits but has held #1 box office in the US this weekend and may honestly by a slim but completely doable chance hold #1 in the face of a new release by a powerhouse director and a corporate machine industry titan (Sam Raimi's Send Help, distributed by 20th Century)

Even if it doesn't, Mark just released that the projections put Iron Lung within half a million dollars of the projections for Send Help.

This is a massive massive shake up in the film industry and I would put money down that there are corporate suits out there sweating over emails, scheduling emergency meetings for Monday.

This is the second wind Hollywood needed.

Long live independent art, death to the corporate machine. And go see Iron Lung

[mushroominaforest]

Shout out to the doctor who responded with complete sincerity when I (on anesthesia) uttered the phrase “chat are we cooked” in her medical professional vicinity. You’re such a real one for that fr fr

[g5-iguazu-deactivated20240408]

Hard at work at the yaoi factory

[g5-iguazu-deactivated20240408]

They fucking called fujOSHA on us

[angelicguy]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[seaweed-station]

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

[eggtrolls]

New York State Parks official IG posted about an owl they rescued but decided to use only the most wretched photos of this creature, including what EYE think is the best bird photograph ever taken

[roycohn]

[urdnotflexthejedibard]

OP, why would you not share the rest?!?!?!

[ilikedaisiesinthespringtime]