I Reblog Things

Fanfiction authors my beloved <3

[lilyblisslys]

got really horny and confused while thinking about tdick and almost posted “it’s so cool when boys have dicks”

[phantomrose96]

I'm a broken record to say "this is a good joke" because in fact all the Among Us jokes are good.

But "species of creature where all of them are drawn as 100% identical models, but in universe amongst themselves one of them is considered far and away the hot one" is a timeless joke.

[phantomrose96]

Quick, people who have no context for this, which one of these Amonguses is the hot one

[phantomrose96]

I bequeath to you my shitty excel chart I made of [checks notes] the first 35 guesses

[phantomrose96]

I also give you the (time-stamped to the correct moment [5:06]) reveal

[what-even-is-thiss]

The reason your snacks are unsatisfying is that you need both carb and protein.

Carb starts your engine, protein keeps it going.

No carb, engine don’t start. No protein, engine dies out fast.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Easy carb add on:

Cookie

Fruit (canned or fresh)

Chips

Piece of bread

Popcorn

Crackers

Easy protein add on:

Nuts

Spoonful of nut butter

Cheese

Roasted chickpea snacks

Glass of milk (dairy or non dairy)

Small canned sausages or similar

[what-even-is-thiss]

Sugar in there.

[what-even-is-thiss]

I am pleased by people messaging me telling me that after adding a carb or protein to their snacks or meals they feel more satisfied all day. Yes, my plan is working. People are getting through their days with less hangry.

[robinsfinds]

reading email || 2006

[fishandshesmygills]

i miss hitting the pregnancy test

[fishandshesmygills]

my friend had a weed pen that was pink and blue and when she bought it she left the box in my room and i was like “did you leave a pregnancy test in my room” and then thereafter we referred to it as hitting the pregnancy test

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[llll-l----l----l-llll]

[valtsv]

i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk

[valtsv]

god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they'd probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this

[girlbr0thers]

Faux leather was the worst thing ever created

[girlbr0thers]

Lets take a material that can last decades with the right treatment and care and fucking replicate it with the most dogshit ugly flimsiest animal extinction microplastics smells bad unsexual rips in four days garbage disgusting saran wrap we can think of. Ostensibly for vegans.

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[horizon-penblade]

We can't use aircraft because the fbi has access to all the flight data how many times do we need to go over this

[coldestcaress]

Fuckin Phantom of the Dive Bar here

[thatjoelguy81]

"Piss for me, My Angel of Urine! PISS!"

*Electric Organ music*

*Pissing*

[nulchar]

[doriangraysrockcollection]

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

[doriangraysrockcollection]

i am kissing you on the mouth right now

you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events

[penelopepennington]

It's the Royal Academy of Art Young Artist's Summer Show. One of my favourite exhibitions of the year. Like. Not only are the older kids insanely talented, the younger ones' artist statements will just punch you right in the face.

Jeffrey is my cat and he feels like my heart

Click [here] for the full online exhibition

[headspace-hotel]

These are all so good!!! please look at them

I think my favorite is this one

[muninnhuginn]

love it when characters do a sacrifice play ostensibly to save others but mostly so they don't have to face themselves

[robogrind]

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

[robogrind]

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

Ccan i hit?

I would parry every blow?