"Hey Diddle Diddle" @littlesparrowfly - Tumblr Blog

neorokke15

Would you consider drawing unpopular girls like Equinox?

itsavalonsmith

today at the witchy store:

customer: is this organic?

me:

me: its a crystal

customer: yes, but is it organic?

me: … it’s a stone?

customer: i’m not stupid, I know that. I want to know if this “stone” is organic or not

me:

customer:

me: sure, why not. we didn’t put pesticides on it when we grew it.

customer: I want to talk to your manager

dovewithscales

Retail is the same all over.

jacksonruff

@littlesparrowfly

beeftea78-deactivated20200113

Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and loudly complained “why can’t I treat everyone the same?” “I don’t want to be a Sie!” “but being friendly is respectful!” “wouldn’t using ‘du’ just show I like them?” until one guy conceded “I suppose maybe I’d use Sie with someone like the prime minister, if he weren’t such a cunt” and my teacher ended up with her head in her hands saying “you are all banned from using du until I can trust you”

deflare

God help Japanese teachers in Australia.

languageoclock

if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is

derinthescarletpescatarian

Australia’s reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We don’t even really think about it until we try to communicate or learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that strangers using ‘sir’ and ‘ma’am’ were sassing me.

Australians could not be trusted with a language with ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms would immediately become synonyms for ‘go fuck yourself’ and if you weren’t using the most informal version possible within three sentences of meeting someone they’d take it to mean you hated them.

hollowedskin

100% true.

the difference between “‘scuse me” and “excuse me” is a fistfight

fozmeadows

See also: the Australian habit of insulting people by way of showing affection, which other English-speakers also do, but not in a context where deescalating the spoken invective actively increases the degree of offence intended, particularly if you’ve just been affectionately-insulting with someone else.

By which I mean: if you’ve just called your best mate an absolute dickhead, you can’t then call a hated politician something that’s (technically) worse, like a total fuckwit, because that would imply either that you were really insulting your mate or that you like the politician. Instead, you have to use a milder epithet, like bastard, to convey your seething hatred for the second person. But if your opening conversational gambit is slagging someone off, then it’s acceptable to go big (”The PM’s a total cockstain!”) at the outset.

Also note that different modifiers radically change the meaning of particular insults. Case in point: calling someone a fuckin’ cunt is a deadly insult, calling someone a mad cunt is a compliment, and calling someone a fuckin’ mad cunt means you’re literally in awe of them. Because STRAYA.

roxilalonde-deactivated20251105

showing up late to a meeting with an iced drink is a power move. like with hot drinks the cup is opaque and people cant tell the temperature so they dont know how long ago you got it. maybe its hours old. maybe you just got caught in traffic. who can say. but iced drinks. its clear. they can see the ice. they can see if its still frozen. they look you in the eye and they know you were standing in line fifteen minutes ago and made the conscious, deliberate decision to get a mocha frap instead of being on time. and then you made ANOTHER conscious, deliberate decision to bring it into the meeting with you, informing everyone in attendance that on your list of priorities, each and every one of them ranks firmly below one (1) mocha frappuchino.

mtgaddicted

colororangeart

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

God I was at that restaurant in Annapolis yesterday that serves those 4 lbs milkshakes and these two dudes were just finishing one together and people were asking them for tips and they were like “you have to get like mint chocolate chip or something because if there’s no texture it gets too boring to finish” and all I could keep thinking was that it can only be a matter of time before some god wipes this town off the map and we will have earned it with our disgusting hubris

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Everyone who has ever finished one of these will have it weighed against a feather when they die

bearisthename

Doable? Maybe

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Listen. After the Burger Incident of 2016 I’ve learned to accept my fragile mortality and live within the boundaries set for humanity by the Universe.

bearisthename

I’m a little nervous but my curiosity is overwhelming~ what, pray tell, is the Burger incident of 2016?

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

In 2016 the day Pokémon Go came out I worked up a big appetite with my friends and we went to Steak ‘n Shake and I decided that none of the burgers looked big enough which…..I don’t know if I thought the photos on the menu were actual size I don’t know what was going on but

I asked the server for the biggest one they had and she said “that’s the 7x7, it’s not on the menu…you don’t want that”

And immediately my friends knew I was fucked because I felt challenged which I blame on my middle child syndrome and also on that I am by birth just an idiot so I ordered it without knowing competitive food bloggers write entire articles about this thing.

I sort of knew I was in trouble when the cook came to see who’d ordered it but I wasn’t backing down and in the end I ate all 1300 calories and THEN the fries and ALSO my shake and I had to go to my friend’s and take a three hour nap and when I woke up I was so fucked up that I just started eating leaves straight off her mint plant because antacids weren’t going to cut it.

Then I complained for like two days and Ultimately I learned absolutely nothing.

sissy-butch

In case anyone wanted a visual for the 7x7

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Hubris

dragonkingofthestars

When you can’t decided between pride and gluttony so commit both sins at the same time.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

This is the only comment allowed now

mrs-lux-blog

timbllr

dankmemesreasonforliving

10032050792

Sometimes it’s scary how fucking accurate this hell site can be

why-i-love-comics

Old Lady Harley #1 - “The Good, The Bad, & The Old” (2018)

written by Frank Tieri art by Inaki Miranda & Eva De La Cruz

littlesparrowfly

Love the way she’s drawn here. Don’t love that she went back to the joker.

aww-so-pretty

My cat wishes you a Happy Halloween

weepycat

we’ve started feeding this tortoiseshell-point siamese recently. she’s beautiful, aside from the fact she has disturbingly big, bulging blue eyes. we’ve started calling her… ‘goop’

weepycat

it’s goop!

weepycat

GUESS WHO HAD GOOPLETS! SIX ENTIRE BABIES! mama goop held onto her gooplings for an entire week longer than she had to, so the gooplitos came out very well done and fluffy!!