Little Vulpecula

https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAstronomer/works All Things Taboo & Tom Hardy - Fanfic, General Obsession with James Delaney. I'm The Astronomer on Ao3.

[tomhardyitalia]

Pic di oggi 25/04/2020

📸 Dailymailuk.com

#tomhardy #alcapone #fonzo #venom 🐍 🕷️ 🕸️ #alfiesolomon #PeakyBlinders #christmascarol #CharlotteRiley #venom2 🐍 🕷️ 🕸️ #v2 #marvel #Eddiebrock #AndySerkis #StayHomeStaySafe #iorestoacasa #capone #woodyharrelson

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

Quaran-team Edition

Our prayers have been answered, as we now know What Tom Hardy Is Doing. And, look everybody — he’s wearing his crisis pants! (Finally, a crisis worthy of urban fatigues in Richmond.)

But for real, I don’t think we’re at the farmers market anymore, Toto. We don’t even have jokes, here at WAYWTH HQ, as all our funny writers are on permanent furlough.

And Tom Hardy, the finest cabbage juggler of his generation, is shopping for his own groceries with his own wife, driving his very own mumobile. 

He’s stuffing his many cargo pockets chock-full of essential items like lanyards and hand sanitizer, and he’s toting around some ‘naners. He’s wearing a mask, too: upside, he’s not vaping; downside, we can’t see his lips. He’s queuing from an acceptable distance. Then, like the dream quaran-team, he and Charlie Monkey are packin’ it all into the minivan — high and tight — and heading for home, presumably, to feed their littles and the CBeebies crew that is living in the Hardy-Riley back garden for the foreseeable future. Stars, they’re just like us: Shitting themselves, wearing masks, cutting up bananas for their kids, and desperately wanting for everyone to have permission to go to the movies again so Venom 2 doesn’t tank.

Stay well. Stay home, if you can. WAYWTH loves you.

[tom-hardy-fan]

Tom and woody at the UK premiere of legend at Odeon Leicester square, london // 3rd September 2015

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

We Are 2 Years Old!

To observe our second birthday year of operation, the staff at WAYWTH, Inc. would like to post this series of photos of Tom Hardy and his Goodest Boy (RIP), Woody. 

Now, more than ever, we need to band together as a community to objectify Tom Hardy, finest leash carrier of his generation, as he walks the blue carpet at the premiere of his movie, Legend.

We have ourselves some top-shelf, Secret Posh Boy Tom Hardy right here. He looks rich but rough-and-tumble. He looks like he wishes a motherfucker would, but he also looks like he holds his one working pinkie out when he lifts his tea.

+2 (each) for Woody’s bowtie and … is that a medal? Was he an OBE recipient, as well? +2 for the cut of TH’s suit but also his haircut and grooming game +1 for Tom carrying around a long leather strap and looking sternly our way

RATING: 5 Tommys out of a possible 5

[parlezkate]

WAYWTH is two years old! Terrible Twos. Boy golly gee I hope they post more often. IN THIS ECONOMY!!?? NOW MORE THAN EVER.

I’m losing it.

[littlevulpecula]

2 WHOLE YEARS! well I think it is THEIR DUTY to post more as the lesser-spotted Tom Hardy will become an even rarer beast. What is he wearing RIGHT NOW? He's naked I bet. Just rolling about, naked.

[geektrooper25]

Types of People during Corona-virus Stay Home Quarantine

Politicians

Governments

SJW

Media

Extroverts

Introverts

Hoaders

Environmentalists

Memers

[parlezkate]

In honor of @littlevulpecula watching her very first Avengers movie.

[littlevulpecula]

I'm the introvert covered in blood @parlezvoustomhardy

[littlevulpecula]

Ok this is a departure for me but I wrote some Dracula fanfic. If you watched the new adaptation and enjoyed the chemistry between Drac and Agatha, read on...

Excerpt from There Will Be Blood.

“Oh Agatha.  You just wanted to get me all on your own, didn’t you?” 

The situation they were in, was certainly alone.  Twenty dead nuns, a decapitated Mother Superior and the shed skin of the unfortunate Jonathan Harker, meant they were certainly alone.  Mina had been sent off screaming into the night, although the sight of her Johnny Blue Eyes being peeled like an overripe orange must have been disconcerting, Agatha conceded.  She glanced at the pooled strips of human skin on the dusty floor of her dim workshop. 

Fascinating.    

Fascinating, the way it was so much easier for the Count to rip himself free from the physical confines of Harker, than it was from the wolf, earlier in this remarkable evening – an altogether more painful-looking, arduous task, or so it had appeared.  

Click, click, click went Agatha Van Helsing’s brain.  Storing away facts in the neat compartments of her mind, the process as automatic and practiced as a nun might genuflect at an altar. 

“Oh please.  Enough with the cliches, Count.  Don’t you ever get tired of them?” 

Read the full chapter on Ao3 linked below.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

[littlevulpecula]

We need the finest smutty Dracula fic known to man, and we need it now.

[littlevulpecula]

PLEASE, IN NAME OF ALL THAT IS UNHOLY, MAY 2020 BE THE YEAR THAT TABOO S2 STARTS FILMING.

[littlevulpecula]

Fic-Wifedom - A Celebration!

Two years since I met my lovely friend @parlezvoustomhardy on the comment section of her wonderful Taboo fic. If you want to read something dark, deep and sexy over Christmas, here it is: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12988170/chapters/29695896

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

(She might even finish it soon!)

[tommyplum]

hello there, lovely tag.

we are john & maggie, and this is our tom hardy appreciation blog!

what we do:

answer asks about tom hardy characters

write ficlets about tom hardy characters

make fashion posts for tom hardy characters

post pictures and gifs of tom hardy, also his characters

shriek incoherently about tom hardy, as well as his characters

various other content, largely peaky blinders

we do not do:

imagines

tom hardy character x reader

real person fic (no moral judgement there, we just don’t)

welcome and please ask away!

about us: john is english and subsists almost entirely on tom hardy and fashion, two great tastes that unfortunately do not converge very often. maggie is canadian and was inculcated into tom hardy adoration entirely due to john; can also be found on her personal, bossymarmalade.

masterlist

images/graphics

sky mobile gifs prince’s trust, 2013 gifs cbeebies gifs (1), (2) the take, 2009 gifs interview for the revenant, 2015 gifs (1) taboo, 2017- gifs (1), (2), (3), (4), (5) peaky blinders gifs (1)

venom: deleted taxi scene

fashion: eames running errands with yusuf in mombasa fashion: eddie on a date with symbiote and anne fashion: fight night, modern!alfie solomons style fashion: eames on a night out with saito for ….

art: pain and galliori, tommy art: hands and flameng, alfie art: divinity and marin, alfie

lithomancy and aeration, tolfie the serpent was subtil, tolfie both good with mint, tolfie

raumont (RAWmont) from marie antoinette hardy & holbrook, fanart, b&w, hatfields & bondurants

written

[ peaky blinders ] arbiter of many things, daylight among them | AO3 -  the morning routine in camden town pbeebies: book one, lollypop syrup | AO3 - mr. solomons reads the children a story sugar feeds yeast | AO3 - tommy and alfie negotiate starch and come away sweet

‘for the eradication of seemingly incurable sadness’ series meme replies etcetera tis the saison | AO3 - holiday office parties are a necessary chore eggplant peach question mark | AO3 - some days require sexting or your best approximation thereof

i am but dust and ashes (the world was created for me) | AO3 - taboo au, where tommy is alfie’s half-sibling

a seaside holiday for two semi-respectable gents - tolfie vacation hc brother’s keeping  - why arthur is the favoured brother hc our ada - when tommy and ada were little hc

transcripts: the gospel of alfie solomons & the ballad of tommy shelby

these fucking rhyming couplets made flesh (tolfie musings) we at tommyplum are not team grace / addendum  (grace shelby meta) [ inception ] mine i’ll leave to chance | AO3 - yusuf/eames in mombasa 

[ venom ] you’re burning yearning | AO3 - eddie brock/symbiote/anne weying symbiotic conversations (symbrock chat posts)

non-tom hardy content

boyd holbrook on ‘camp confessions with shannon coffey’ boyd holbrook in the shadow of the moon interview on ‘the gate’ gifs

fanwork recommendations

14 november 2019 29 november 2019

[wintersongstress]

me waiting for the next hyperfixation to consume me and give me renewed inspiration and purpose in life:

[ultragustd]

This is pretty boring, but... I wanted to draw someone else than Tommy/Cillian for once. So are we even surprised who I ended up drawing? Nope. This could be young Alfie or just Tom, it’s up to you to decide which one you like better. I have nothing else to say lmfao. Just that I tried something different and I think I like the finished product. I usually do some light shading when I’m sketching something but this time I wanted to add more shadows. It was fun, not gonna lie. I think I’m going to do this again. So, be ready (I guess).

[twistedrunes]

This is A-MAZ-ING. 

I love it. 

[littlevulpecula]

Wow!

[tommyplum]

An Alfie Solomons morning headcanon please. Canon or modern.

When you’re a baker, see, it’s the sun wot’s got to ask you if it can please come in. 

Because Alfie gets up when there’s still more time yawning on the back side of the day than the front, and he performs his morning ablutions the same as he’s done since he was old enough to do more than wipe off the night’s sweat and other, more sordid emissions, and what he does is this:

He washes his face, and the corners of his eyes, and blows his nose, and does not fail to attend to the back of his neck and behind his ears. The sun makes a faint appeal in the distance behind him, through the craquelated green glass of his bathroom window, and Alfie tells it no. Not yet. Not nearly yet.

And he combs water through his hair (not scented water, not continental Portugal nor New World Florida), just plain ice-cold water to wake him up with a shock down his already shocked and shivered spine, at least that’s what Alfie tells himself so he doesn’t have to answer the sciatica that’s already waving him a big fat fucking HULLOOOO, ALFIE, HULLO!! Forget that. Ignore that, for as long as the dark dim morning allows.

So it’s ice-cold water through his hair and Alfie dresses, and the sun wants to know if it’s time, yet, and Alfie yet again says no. Retrieves the jewelry from the small bowl of milk glass he keeps it in, his rings of gold, and gilds himself, because he has no need to worry about dough paste being caught in the creases of his knuckles, because he has a desk to sit behind.

Collects his cane, hullo Alfie hullo.

Uses it to unpeg the hat hanging in his hall and some mornings, like this morning, Alfie lets the hat make a circumference around the head of his cane – just to let it see some of the world again, you understand, to let it taste the circumnavigation that it used to take for granted in a generation gone by – before it takes its place atop his ice-cold hair. 

And the sun! Asks one more time, the third time, if it can come in as Alfie opens his front door and rocks himself out onto the street, and Alfie says no, no, no, you may not;

–because for every new day that wants to begin in Camden Town, Alfie Solomons is its rabbi, and it’s his flour and water and yeast that are the beit din, and it is his spit as he talks and talks his way towards the other end of night that is the mikvah, and so no, no, no, he tells the sun. Every single morning, as a baker, because his job is all about converts and conversions, innit? When it comes down to it.

So when Alfie comes back out of the bakery with ink or blood or leavening on his fingertips, ready to knock back around home for a proper bath and a cuppa, and the sun is rising over the rooftops, he’s ready for it. Tugs at his hat. Hullo.

- maggie

(I am so utterly in love with this, and so beyond proud to show off the glory that is my incredibly gifted partner, that I just had to hop on and swoon a bit. Maggie, you’re /fantastic/. - john) 

[littlevulpecula]

Perfect. This needs all the love.

[tommyplum]

modern!Alfie being hugged by all his bakery workers. or restrained, take your pick.

[littlevulpecula]

Accurate. So accurate.

[parlezkate]

(beautiful Aflie art by Zigster) New fic alert! Title: Letters From Lethe Rating: R for language, sex Words: 5238 Written by @littlevulpecula​ and @parlezvoustomhardy  Excerpt: It’s safe to say I’ve been a bit out of it the last few weeks, and truth be told, I’m not quite myself yet. There is a lot, a LOT of laudanum involved, mate, on account of half my fucking face being missing. You might notice that I appear to be able to write a letter. “He can’t be that bad” you might think. “He can write,“ you might muse. I am lucky enough to employ a very loyal maid, Edna, who is writing this very missive down for me, while I dictate from my sick-bed. I tell her to write every word I say down, and she does. I tell her what I want to emphasise and she does it. That’s important, to know what to emphasise. How to get a point across. Edna is very loyal, not quite as loyal as Cyril and she don’t have a bad habit of licking her own arsehole, but loyal all the same. Sorry, Edna. Write that down: Alfie Solomons is gravely sorry for any offence he may cause. Tommy Shelby knows what I’m like, don’t you, Tommy boy? Still, it didn’t stop you trying to blow half my head off. Tell me, does Cyril still lick his own arse when you’re trying to read the paper or have a cup of tea in peace? Bet he does. Author’s note: This is the first collaboration we’ve done in two years (!?!?!) of being fic wives to each other. (It was all her idea, for what it’s worth.) 

[littlevulpecula]

An Alfie Solomons fic me and @parlezvoustomhardy wrote together. What a joy to write a grumpy, one eyed Alfie. And amazing Alfie art by our lovely friend @zigster-ao3

[whatareyouwearingtomhardy]

The Garden Party

From WAYWTH junior contributor @briannamccarthy: Garden party up top, ultra rad dad jeans with a trucker cap rolled up in the back pocket on the bottom.

Thank you to our stalwart and very patient junior contributor, Brianna, for reminding us of Tom Hardy’s Perpetual Schism: How does a posh boy attend a tony event while remaining street?

As the subsequent photos reveal, one would rightfully surmise from the submitted first image that Tom Hardy, the finest posh-but-street chameleon of his generation, is wearing a pair of trail runners. The trainers, combined with jeans that are simultaneously fussy AND ill-fitting (has he got a fanny pack under them jeans? Does Tom Hardy have a FUPA??), make us think that he might do a runner. (American Editor note: That’s British for “make a run for it” — not sex with a sprinter.) Either that, or he’s about to engage a royal in a game of tag.

Who would challenge Prince Harry to a footrace at an Audi-sponsored polo event, if not Tom Hardy? Look no further than the following images for irrefutable proof.

Image 1: Tom Hardy, uncomfortably standing around waiting for Prince Harry to notice him. Image 2: Tom Hardy and Prince Harry trying to chat amiably while everyone stares at them in disbelief: Is the prince still growing or is Tom Hardy just … kinda … a shortcake? Image 3: Tom Hardy jokingly asks Prince Harry if he thinks he could beat him in a 50-meter dash. Harry laughs, too — a little too riotously and a little too long. It takes him a moment to collect himself. Image 4: In the end, Prince Harry politely declines “a race,” as he’s wearing fancy pirate boots. In turn, he indelicately asks if Tom Hardy actually wore his trainers to a place where there would be photographers on purpose, or did he assume he would only be photographed from the waist up? Maybe he left his big boy shoes in the car. That’s when Tom Hardy grips the prince’s arm so hard that the royal’s affable grin turns to a strained grimace. The race will be run. Oh yes, it shall. But not with cameras around.

+ 3 for looking like an absolute god from the nips up -1 for the pre-creased jeans and the trainers - 1 for the rolled-up (and presumably camo) trucker hat in the back pocket, weird place to hang a pair of sunglasses — and wtf, mate, is that a swiss army knife on your belt?! 

Rating:  3 Tommys out of a possible 5

[littlevulpecula]

Ah this post tells a glorious story. A prince in his fancy pirate boots challenges a small movie star in pre-creased jeans and trainers to a race...

[imjustasmith]

[thaac-on]

Tom Hardy as Robbie Dudley in The Virgin Queen

[parlezkate]

ROBBBBBBBBIEEEEEEEE. Cc @littlevulpecula

[littlevulpecula]

MUST.WRITE.ROBBIE.FANFIC.

[iseasilyamused]

Theres something very satisfying about this dark, mysterious, chaotic character. Waiting (impatiently) for season 2 😅 . . . @taboofx @sonofhorace1814 @tomhardy #tomhardyarmy #tomhardydaily #fanart #tomhardyart #fanarts #jamesdelaney #artistsoninstagram #taboofx🎩 #taboofx #tomhardybeard #tomhardy #tomhardyfan #jameskeziahdelaney #tomhardyfans #fanartist #tomhardylips #finishedart #iseasilyamused https://www.instagram.com/p/BwEGSHDgjCQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hx50idujaxvx

[zigster-ao3]

This is brilliant. Please make this into a print. I will buy it. @parlezvoustomhardy will buy it. @littlevulpecula will buy it… and if they can’t afford it, I’ll buy three for all of us. 

[littlevulpecula]

Brilliant!

[littlevulpecula]

Chapter 7 of Ivan Locke: Whatever People Say I That I Am, That's What I'm Not.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Excerpt: “I’m pregnant, Ivan. I’m fucking pregnant!”

Ivan felt his guts contract with adrenaline almost instantly, a cold rinse of shock closing over his head like a riptide dragging him under. Almost as instantly, he was back in his bathroom a few weeks ago, watching the torn condom being sucked out of sight by the toilet flush. He closed his eyes, his brain flailing momentarily. This, this was the thing he had pushed away, the thing he had denied would ever happen! Just as quickly, Ivan’s practical nature kicked in and he anchored himself to the rock of reason in the middle of the storm.

“Are you sure? You... you’ve taken a test? Seen a doctor?”

He kept his voice steady, one hand rubbing Kat’s tense shoulder gently. He wasn’t entirely sure of the process of confirming pregnancy but he would find out, just as soon as possible. Go through the correct channels. That was the first step.

“Two tests. No doctor yet. Ivan, we always used condoms, didn’t we? They were always OK, weren’t they, on properly and stuff?”

“Of course, Kat, of course. We’ve always used them.” Ivan kept his voice soft and low and hoped Kat would not notice the infinitesimal drop of his eyes from hers, or the tiny pause before he had answered her. It was true wasn’t it? Ivan was telling her the truth, they did always use condoms, he was just omitting the part about them always being OK. That wasn’t lying. And anyway, what did it matter how they had got here – they were here, and it must be dealt with, that was all.

“Then, how...” Kat began desperately. Her voice was hoarse and Ivan realised she must have been crying for a long time. Ivan ignored the tug of guilt which wrenched insistently at his conscience.