Livin' It Down

Coping with mental health problems and overcoming the shame of being me

[livinitdown]

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[sasuke-x]

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Only when a person stops fighting do they lose.

Attack on Titan

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Overcoming the stigma gone wrong

I got my hair done today and had a bad experience. The hairdresser kept asking me personal questions about my nonexistent work status. I am currently unemployed due to depression and anxiety.

I couldn’t bring myself to tell her the truth, so I ended up lying about it. We live in a small town, and I would hate for the word to spread about my situation.

I don’t blame the hairdresser, and I actually love the new-look. Still, I must wonder why is work such a strong focus when it comes to small talk and why is our self-worth so strongly defined by employment.

In the end, I felt both worthless about myself and bad for lying. Overcoming the stigma of mental illness is not easy.

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Why do I feel ashamed of who I am?

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One step forward, one step back, two steps forward, four steps back, one step forward, one step back, three steps forward and still counting...

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I loathe myself because of these outbursts of rage. My loved ones will resent me if I don't do something about it. I hate not being normal.

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My path to improved health

I've made many healthy lifestyle changes to my eating, drinking and exercising habits during the past year. Having finally noticed the results is so gratifying. There were no miracles involved. Trust me, I've tried shortcuts, but it didn't get me anywhere.

The only thing that helped was to slow down considerably, to take the most difficult path. I simply had to alter my habits little by little over time, one by one. I will never be perfect, and I don't need to be, but I can finally be proud of the physical progress I've made.

My next challenge will be to pay attention to my mental health. In order to bring about real change, I must continue to remind myself to give it time, keep taking the hard road.

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I now find that depression is my new identity, anxiety is my new faith, and giving up is my new way of life.

[chibird]

Sometimes when I’m sad, I feel like a whole different self, so I made happy frog and sad frog to represent those states of mind. When I’m sad frog, I not only feel sad about the original problem, but I also feel sad about being sad frog (something I didn’t even realize was happening until I went to therapy!). This comic is a reminder that it really is okay to be sad frog. Sometimes happy frog is on a break, so be kind to your sad frog, okay? ♡

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Webtoon

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I finished a big project and finally felt at peace. Still, there is always the next project waiting. It never ends. Life is like a game I can't win.

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I just want to disappear...

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This journey isn't about reaching perfection. It's about 💩🤬💣🤯 and getting up after each time.