QUOTES FROM THE NEW PHUPLOAD (Addressing our BTS Cease and Desist Allegations)
"I'm insecure in my manlihood. I want to be able to open cans like a true trad Alpha." - 0:40 (a really gripping start)
"I can explode cocks with my palm?" - 1:00
"Not mine! I don't want you to explode my cock!" - 1:13
"Wait, it's hard." - 1:28 (boing)
"My bunny bussy was out." - 2:19 (thank you to bbstarrbunnyy on twitter for the art)
"And I'm Davis!" - 2:53 (he returns)
"Cause they don't want us talking about naked men rubbing each other down." - 3:17
"You wanted the viral 14-hand BTS gay massage. And more." - 3:53
"Wow, this is just a porn account, isn't..." - 4:09
"Stop smutting." - 4:23 (top tier quote)
"We can't talk about being gay. Fucking, cock, weed, alcohol." - 4:44
"🎶Phivorce🎶 What? Absence made the heart grow phonder." - 5:08
"You're proud of me for being shit?" - 5:36
"*SCREAMING* WHY DON'T MY KNEES WORK?" - 6:11
"I just wanna ride on the back of a hunky man, and he skis for me, and I enjoy the thrill of the wind in my hair." - 6:37 (me too Phil)
"I will say I missed you." - 7:24 (WHERE ARE THE FAN FICS)
"Touch, touch me. Touch." - 7:28
"He squeezed me until it exploded." - 7:36 (WOAH)
"Oh look, there's Gwyneth Paltrow, no." - 8:07
"Did you say you've gotta hold your balls? Poles." - 9:03
"where's the balls coming in?" - 9:13
"I can't rub myself and tap myself at the same time." - 9:27
"Oh my god, he's a fucking apres ski basic bitch, isn't he?" - 9:58
"What's wrong with Germans?" - 10:33
"No, I said don't do that! You lie. Okay Eleven." - 11:13 (I know they said Eleven at the same time but shh)
"I want you to do it, and I missed you, but it was just never happening." - 11:42
"Ugh, Phil-o-phobic." - 11:52
"Just remove my eyes, Jigsaw. It's fine." - 12:42
"And then a guy came on, you'll love this, Timmy Trumpet." - 13:34 (AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE)
"Did he let you blow his trumpet?" - 13:47
"I think that would freak me out slightly if I was on a drug." - 14:21
"It's just that one ant. It really likes my feet. It's a perv." - 16:40
"Oh, fuck just get divorced somewhere else." - 19:08
"Welcome back from the slopes. Did you see any snow?" - 20:06 (insert northern accent)
"Growth moment. You learned to shut the fuck up." - 20:12
"I always get sticky hands... from a cone." - 20:35
"Bland bitches rejoice." - 22:52 (oh ok then 😀)
"And it's cheaper, like Dan." - 23:13
"... double fisting sausage rolls." - 23:41
"Loves your gray sausage pastry." - 23:52
"It's like a hippo eating a lion. It's like a meerkat gangbang. And now I've got the rare double sausage roll English kite." - 24:22
"Not a gay sauna story." - 24:44
"Yiff, yiff, yiff, thank you." - 25:40
"Richard... are you a drug dealer?" - 25:51
"🎶Crank him hard.🎶" - 26:04
"Do you think I look like Brian Cox? I do see what that's about. Do you think he's hot?" - 26:42
"The only people that can say that they are conscious, I think, are asexuals." - 28:12
"And I'm Davis." - 29:37 (he returns AGAIN?)
"Our ears are penises. Our toes are penises. Your hand is... an ass." - 29:50
"Give them a real posh clit, Phil. ✨️Clit.✨️" - 30:40
"Oh Charles. Dan, you're not doing Diana. Clit. NO! oh my god." - 30:53
"Look at it's ridges. It's phallic. It's bulbous. Look at it's bulb. It's ribbed for their pleasure." - 31:36
"I think this is non-binary. Cause it's round and spiky." - 32:13
"I wanted to have sex with that door. Open can." - 32:51
"He probably did skin your family!" - 33:49
"We still have that Shrek porn book in our toilet." - 34:20 (haha 420 but I BEG YOUR FINEST FUCKING PARDON?)
"Dan, Phil, Ant, signing off." - 34:54
Roller-coaster of a phupload.
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