The Worst That Could Happen
They tell you: "Just ask her out! What's the worst that could happen?"
Well, hypothetically, here's a thing that could happen.
You could take her out for ice cream. It's kind of corny. It feels like ice cream on an afternoon is for teens, not for adults, but you want to do something low-pressure. For months now, you have been spending time with her, sometimes one-on-one, sometimes in a big group, but usually it was you and her trailing behind the rest of the group.
After months, you gather your courage, and ask her out for ice cream, just you and her. It's an actual date, not a hobby activity you happen to share. It's a beautiful day. The city is full of cherry blossoms. After the ice cream, you take her hand, you tell her that you want to go steady, be together, take it to the next level, and you go for a kiss (briefly, no tongue).
Only at this point does she tell you that she doesn't want to ruin your friendship. You accept, somewhat disappointed.
You had something planned together already. Not as a couple, just as friends. You wanted to host a barbecue together and watch a game, but now you're unsure if you should bring the grill and the meat to her place next week. She says she wants to be friends, and to go ahead with the party.
Then she blocks you in everything. You awkwardly un-invite all the people from the barbecue. She starts to avoid at all the things you used to share. You ask a friend of a friend to just talk to her so and ask what's up. If she's avoiding the Go club because of you, you'd be willing to quit and let her have it. Same with her favourite bar. You hear from a friend of a friend that you really screwed up, and that it's all your fault, and that she didn't deserve this, whatever this is. He doesn't know how you screwed up, but the friend of a friend says this is what a friend of hers told a friend of his.
You hear from a another friend that she is leaving for Finland for four months. You do not get to say goodbye. You knew she had this planned. She told you all about this when you were still on speaking terms.
Later that year, you see her at a house party. You do your best to ignore her. You knew she'd be back from Finland by that time, but you didn't know she'd be at the party. She still has you blocked on everything. She tells a friend of yours about a local Jazz quintet doing a concert with a visiting vocalist, for the benefit of the music academy. She wants you to be there. You dress up. It's you, her, your friend, and your friend's girlfriend. You're alone together for a minute. She tells you she wants things to go back to normal. She wants to be friends again. You ask what that means, what exactly she wants, and if you can please talk about what happened, what you did wrong, briefly, just once, so you can understand, so you know how to act around her. You get the hint, but why block you? She doesn't want to talk about it. You ask what she wants you to do, going forwards.
She just says "I don't want to talk about it."
She unblocks you on everything. She occasionally asks you to tag along to picnics, concerts, or the beach, but she doesn't want to go to your place, even when it's fun stuff she likes in a large group such as the Mario Party party or the Samurai Gunn tournament or the documentary film night. You go through the motions and keep her on the mailing list, because you pretend it didn't happen. She joins Go club again. Things are awkward.
Slowly everything normalises. She invites you to do things together, "but not as a date".
A year passes. You drift apart.
She excitedly tells you about a video game she has bought for her Playstation, with couch co-op mode. You're interested. Like, legitimately interested in the game. It's not a lame excuse. You ask her if she wants to play it together. She tells you to come by her place Saturday afternoon.
That's the last time you speak. That Thursday, she blocks you on everything.
Hypothetically.
