⋆💎 𝒞𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒮𝒾𝓁𝒶𝓈 💎⋆

Cain/Chex || 24 || He/They || Panromantic asexual || Canadian || AO3: LocalPlagueNurse || OC sideblog: @cains-creatures || I post mature content so proceed with caution || Silas is not my actual surname

[localplaguenurse]

Cain's Masterlist

A list of the fics or headcanons I’ve written! I may have missed a couple of headcanons here and there because they were just one off questions from the ask box. Mostly wanted to keep track of the long lists. 

Currently, all my ao3 works have been locked to registered users only due to AI scraping. I do not consent to my fics being used for generative AI, character AI, or any fucking AI for that matter.

Some of my fics have suggestive or mature content. Read the tags, proceed with caution, and if you can’t read this stuff for one reason or another, best to move on. Also, in case you're wondering why a lot of my oneshots have to do with Pantalone; I love him and he is my muse.

Have fun!

Ongoing Fics

You've Got My Eyes: Zhongli/Reader slowburnish fic where Reader is a single mom in Inazuma after a one night stand with the man of the hour; ongoing

the capillaries in my eyes are bursting: Dottore/Reader angst fic, aka the "dottore divorce fic" where Reader is sick of feeling neglected and unappreciated by her husband; ongoing

you are someone i have loved, but never known: Pantalone centric fic where Arlecchino finds a baby left on the steps of the House of Hearth; on hiatus/discontinued

Falling Head over Heels: Pantalone/Male Reader where Reader is an author with retinitis pigmentosa (hereditary degenerative eye disease), masterlist with all current chapters here

Complete Fics

it’s all that i can give to you, my dear: Pantalone/Reader smutfic, a sequel to take all you can, give nothing back; completed

As Gold as the Ginkgo Trees: Morax/Reader arranged marriage slowburn set during the Archon War; completed (see also: the ginkgo trees masterlist with all my other headcanons/fics/aus)

Oneshots

Little Helper: Pantalone family fluff oneshot, technically Pantalone/Reader but it’s not really the focal point

Catch of the Day: Zhongli/Reader Mermay oneshot

that is enough: Fear and Hunger angst oneshot where Cahara returns home after... everything goes wrong. Please read the tags before reading.

Hold on Tight: Pantalone/Reader smut oneshot where someone goes a little overboard during sexy times.

Pretty in Pink: Hwei/Reader smut oneshot, and the only league fic I'll write

zero days until the party: My take on the bite of '83, child death warning

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too: Pantalone/Reader smut oneshot I wrote for my birthday where Pantalone gets bored at his own party

Playing strip poker with Pantalone: Self explanatory. Not really smutty, mainly silly, but still suggestive so you know the drill

The Price for Greed: Dragon Pantalone smut oneshot that has been sitting in my google docs for too damn long

an act of kindness: Pantalone oneshot where he's too tired for sex, so you give him a bubble bath. Starts spicy but doesn't go full smut, mainly domestic fluff.

Or You Lose: Modern era oneshot where Pantalone is a nightclub owner, and you're tasked with assassinating him.

i lie in your arms tonight: Pantalone oneshot where you're training a new recruit and things go horrifically wrong. Character death and angst heavy.

Stress Relief: Trans Pantalone/Male Reader smut, horrifically self indulgent

Keep Your Ego in Check: Male Harbinger Reader/Pre-Fatui Pantalone smut that is porn with wayyyyyy too much plot

"It fits you.": Short Pantalone/Reader request where he's jealous

Last Minute: Pantalone/Virgin Reader smut

An Unexpected "Guest": My submission for the 2024 Fatui Con "x reader" fic category

A Debt Repaid: You rescue young orphan Pantalone

Pantalone's daughter finds scissors

Expendable Resources: Pantalone angst fic where reader gets kidnapped and no one looks for them

to be beautiful: Pantalone/Transmasc Reader hurt/comfort

the illusion of choice: Yandere Pantalone/Fem Reader smut

Failure to Meet Expectations: Professor Pantalone/Fem Reader smut

Too Sweet: Capitano/Reader fluff request

Connecting the Dots: Pantalone/Reader where Reader is Neuvillette's child req

Sinking Feeling: MerMay 2025 Pantalone/Reader

Sweet Intentions: Zhongli/Reader smut where he buys you aphrodisiac chocolates by mistake

Offering A Hand: Sebastian Solace/Reader smut where you walk in on him taking care of himself, ao3 and tumblr versions here

Happy Hour: Reader insert fic based off Kieru's 2025 Hoyofair animation Blood Money, ao3 and tumblr versions here

Little Sprout: Morax/Reader smut where you tell your husband you want to have a child with him. Though it takes place during Ginkgo Trees, it's written so it CAN be read as a standalone fic.

If you really want some, if you're feeling lonely, baby get lucky: Omegaverse Reader/Pantalone where Pantalone rents an alpha to help him cope with his heat

Original Writing

Nov 11, 2025 edit: from now on any/all original work will be posted to @cains-creatures

a stone in the wall: Original horror story about walking through a serial killer's house, please mind the tags

Strung in My Web: A short piece about Satine, silk merchant and avatar of lust, seducing a nun

ubi amor, ibi dolor: A continuation/spinoff of my previous Satine piece where a trio of adventurers enter his lair looking for a missing woman. Mind the tags.

Headcanons/Ramblings

Pantalone health headcanons

Assorted Pantalone headcanons

Pantalone domestic fluff

Assorted/sorta modern Dottore headcanons

Pantalone being husband material

Pantalone appearance/self care

Modern Dottolone

Arlecchino/Pantalone/Reader NSFW

Casper First Time NSFW Headcanons (A Date With Death)

Pantalone being a Girl Dad

Common Tongue: Pantalone giving head NSFW

My Dr. Kel Headcanons

Breakdown of Dottore and Widow's relationship

Kinktober 2024

Week one: Spider Arlecchino/Fem Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

Week two: Pyramid Head Capitano/GN Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

Week three: Mothman Dottore/Fem Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

Finale: Vampire Pantalone/GN Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

[straw-bunbun]

WIP

[dragon-in-a-fez]

WAIT did I never tell tumblr about the haunted space waterpark hotel

[dragon-in-a-fez]

in January 2018, I spent a couple of days in the town of Hutchinson, Kansas for work. I rolled into town and stopped at what appeared, from the outside, to be a normal motel just off the highway.

it was not.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I should add that I did not see a single other guest the entire time I was there, which intensified the whole vibe.

[headspace-hotel]

There is at least one thing to do in kansas

[setulose]

I'm also like begging every perisex person on here to remember intersex people exist. If you're talking about people with a specific sex characteristic please just say "people with [specific sex characteristic]". Nothing makes you look stupider than saying "afabs" when you mean "people with uteruses" or saying "men and pre-op transfems" when you mean "people with testes". There is already a vested social interest in oppressing intersex people please do not contribute to making them invisible.

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[plumslices]

Your misbehaving boyfriend is not funny to me

[caintooth]

you have to love trans women more than you hate transmisogyny, you have to love jews more than you hate antisemitism, you have to love Black people more than you hate white supremacy, you have to love Indigenous people more than you hate colonialism, you have to love the disabled and mentally ill more than you hate ableism, you have to love. you have to love.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

graffiti discourse is so stupid why the hell would I give a shit if people spraypaint their names or do some cool paintings under a bridge

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

sorry didn't realize the bridge has to be plain beige concrete. that was a load bearing plain beige concrete if anyone tags it the whole bridge collapses

[the-cassquatch]

Ok but like. What the fuck is there to do on the internet anymore?

Idk when I was younger, you could just go and go and find exciting new websites full of whatever cool things you wanted to explore. An overabundance of ways to occupy your time online.

Now, it's just... Social media. That's it. Social media and news sites. And I'm tired of social media and I'm tired of the news.

Am I just like completely inept at finding new things or has the internet just fallen apart that much with the problems of SEO and web 3.0 turning everything into a same-site prison?

[dj-of-the-coven]

Long collection of resources under the cut.

You're right that the internet is smaller than it used to be, but there's still some cool stuff left in the corners. I'd recommend checking checking out Neocities if you haven't--it's an independent web hosting platform like Geocities of the old web, and there are hundreds of interesting and active pages discoverable both through their search function and through web buttons (links attached to small pictures with the title of a website) within the websites themselves. Here are three examples of web buttons you may find in link pages:

Most Neocities websites have link pages or button collections with anywhere from tens to hundreds of these. Don't be afraid to explore!

If you're looking for something more like a search engine, I can point you towards Marginalia. It's not a particularly smart engine, but it's perfectly usable if you've ever been taught to use search engines back when they were mostly run through keywords instead of full sentence comprehension. There's also an "about" and "tips" section on the front page with more information. The algorithm of Marginalia can be filtered by the user to allow, disallow, or require JavaScript depending on your needs, plus there are filters designed specifically to prioritize web 1.0 sites or mostly text-based ones. It is possible to search for modern websites with it, but it can return websites from just about any decade (since the invention of the web, obviously) so long as they contain the information you're looking for. For example, here are some random interesting sites I've found using Marginalia:

Native Languages of the Americas: Native American Cultures

BASIC HTML COMPETENCY IS THE NEW PUNK FOLK EXPLOSION!

Earthbound Text Labs by Bill Eager

The possibilities for discovery are truly endless.

Now you might want to know about directories. These make browsing for websites easier, but require you to read through and judge which ones to visit, as there aren't algorithms ranking the sites besides the whim of whoever coded the directory. Some of them have themes, others don't. Here are two that I've used:

Yesterlinks Directory

Ichigo Directory

Directories can be harder to come by just by surfing the net, but they aren't impossible to find. Many personal websites have their own directories of interesting sites hidden within them.

Webrings are similar to directories, but are actually more community-based. You have to register your website to be a part of a webring, usually by sending an email to whoever runs it and meeting some kind of entry criteria. For example, my personal website used to be a part of a webring called Sweet Dreams, which was for websites that heavily utilize color palettes and images of cute things, particularly sweets. Webrings will give you access to a widget upon entry that allow visitors and other members to browse between the registered websites in a massive ring, ergo, where the term gets its name. Webrings can have any theme or criteria for entry. If you can make a website about it, you can find a webring for it.

Now, you might be wondering about social media alternatives. I can't offer much, but I can nudge you towards the idea of forums. Here's one I found that could really use some traffic. I also browse a bit on MelonLand forum, which is actually closed right now--it's currently closed on Mondays--but on any other day of the week, you can find a fun community there dedicated to web revival. You can find it through MelonLand's main page. I'd also recommend checking out SpaceHey, which is a MySpace clone that's customizable and easy to use.

I hope this is of some help to you. The internet may feel less magical than it used to be, but that doesn't mean that the spark has completely died out. These types of indie websites need more attention if we ever hope to reverse the damage done to the internet by centralization and corporate interest. People are trying to make the web a cooler place to be, but we're going to have to do the work of finding and interacting with these projects in order to get them off the ground someday.

[xerxestexastoast]

ALSO you should consider browsing Virtual Pet List and seeing if there are any pet sites you might be interested in playing. There is a whole genre of browser games right under your nose

[biothreads]

Another one that I just found recently is this, which is a whole collection of blogs, organized by topic!

ooh.directory: a place to find good blogs that interest you

A collection of 1,966 blogs about every topic

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Look guys the real internet IS STILL THERE I'm going to cry

[headspace-hotel]

try Radiogarden

[rosiewitchescottage]

And it's amazing that you can find information that you looked for, just in the off chance, never expect ing that it would really be there.

Are you a word nerd like me, and my father before me?

Then may I introduce you to...

Online Etymology Dictionary

The online etymology dictionary (etymonline) is the internet's go-to source for quick and reliable accounts of the origin and history of Eng

Explore live radio by rotating the globe

Explore live radio by rotating the globe.

Thank you @headspace-hotel

[goldcrescent]

and not to sound like a conspiracy theorist but another reason I hate the return of 2000’s th*nspo shit is bc starving does make women frail and has longer term consequences like early osteoporosis, brittle bones/teeth, insomnia, ect. Your muscles will start eating themselves. It also makes you extremely emotional and severely lowers your capacity for critical thinking not bc you’re a girl but because your brain isn’t getting any fucking nutrients so idk I just feel like its very convenient that every time there’s an uptick in fascist rhetoric and women’s rights are being stripped suddenly it’s peak fashion for women to be starving, weak, and exhausted

[yardsards]

but i stay silly! *←said in the most world-weary voice you ever did hear*

[fizzlepop-frog]

“but I stay silly!”

[sensiblereblogifposts]

Reblog you stay silly

[weaselle]

on it boss

[ask-the-multishipper-blog]

oh god what did i do

IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT

[imsoberish]

Do I dare?

[yourlocalxiaosimp]

WHAT THE—

[localplaguenurse]

Ur broken glasses reminded me of my broken real gold necklace that my grandma gave , they also broke the DAY before I had to go take pictures I was just happy to look a mess 🙂‍↔️

Rip 😭 what happened to my glasses was they were already kinda broken (the top part of the frame for the left lens had snapped and been glued in place so the lens wouldn't fall out). I wasn't paying attention when I was getting back in bed and basically stepped/sat on them, and snapped the bottom part of the frame.

I need new glasses anyway but I still need these ones until I actually get them!

[yuniv812]

HELLO EVERYONE!! i'm opening emergency commissions because I'M STILL WAITING ON A JOB OFFER!! the funds from this commission would go to rent and food because i'm running out of money to get food!! this maybe the last emergency commission i'll do (hopefully) if i get the job and it pays well!!

I SPECIALISE IN COUPLES/YUMESHIP ART! (additional characters cost 50% of the original price) HERE IS THE VGEN LINK if you prefer that!!!

3 SLOTS OPEN

[teathattast]

[twelfth-order-simulacra]

[teathattast]

All I got boss

[teathattast]

Just in boss

[teathattast]

All I got boss

[randomdoodless]

[i-like-reblog-maps]

[localplaguenurse]

My day be so ??? and then I go and listen to both versions of writing on the wall and start crying

[dead-dove-ble]

Actually you SHOULD make problematic content. You SHOULD explore dark or taboo topics. You SHOULD have a space where you can cope with your traumas or explore sensitive topics in a way that doesn't hurt anyone.

[shiptillyoudie]

Also you should make problematic content for funsies. You don't need to have had trauma or need to be coping in order to explore dark creativity. You can just be a human who wants to explore dark and taboo topics because you want to. That's completely normal, btw.

Every single person on this planet thinks about dark and taboo things. It's literally the most normal thing in the world.

Go draw the horror porn and be free.

[tackypies]

we should all be more like david cronenberg and write fucked up stuff. For Funsies