⋆💎 𝒞𝒶𝒾𝓃 𝒮𝒾𝓁𝒶𝓈 💎⋆

Cain/Chex || 24 || He/They || Panromantic asexual || Canadian || AO3: LocalPlagueNurse || OC sideblog: @cains-creatures || I post mature content so proceed with caution || Silas is not my actual surname

[localplaguenurse]

Cain's Masterlist

A list of the fics or headcanons I’ve written! I may have missed a couple of headcanons here and there because they were just one off questions from the ask box. Mostly wanted to keep track of the long lists. 

Currently, all my ao3 works have been locked to registered users only due to AI scraping. I do not consent to my fics being used for generative AI, character AI, or any fucking AI for that matter.

Some of my fics have suggestive or mature content. Read the tags, proceed with caution, and if you can’t read this stuff for one reason or another, best to move on. Also, in case you're wondering why a lot of my oneshots have to do with Pantalone; I love him and he is my muse.

Have fun!

Ongoing Fics

You've Got My Eyes: Zhongli/Reader slowburnish fic where Reader is a single mom in Inazuma after a one night stand with the man of the hour; ongoing

the capillaries in my eyes are bursting: Dottore/Reader angst fic, aka the "dottore divorce fic" where Reader is sick of feeling neglected and unappreciated by her husband; ongoing

you are someone i have loved, but never known: Pantalone centric fic where Arlecchino finds a baby left on the steps of the House of Hearth; on hiatus/discontinued

Falling Head over Heels: Pantalone/Male Reader where Reader is an author with retinitis pigmentosa (hereditary degenerative eye disease), masterlist with all current chapters here

Complete Fics

it’s all that i can give to you, my dear: Pantalone/Reader smutfic, a sequel to take all you can, give nothing back; completed

As Gold as the Ginkgo Trees: Morax/Reader arranged marriage slowburn set during the Archon War; completed (see also: the ginkgo trees masterlist with all my other headcanons/fics/aus)

Oneshots

Little Helper: Pantalone family fluff oneshot, technically Pantalone/Reader but it’s not really the focal point

Catch of the Day: Zhongli/Reader Mermay oneshot

that is enough: Fear and Hunger angst oneshot where Cahara returns home after... everything goes wrong. Please read the tags before reading.

Hold on Tight: Pantalone/Reader smut oneshot where someone goes a little overboard during sexy times.

Pretty in Pink: Hwei/Reader smut oneshot, and the only league fic I'll write

zero days until the party: My take on the bite of '83, child death warning

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too: Pantalone/Reader smut oneshot I wrote for my birthday where Pantalone gets bored at his own party

Playing strip poker with Pantalone: Self explanatory. Not really smutty, mainly silly, but still suggestive so you know the drill

The Price for Greed: Dragon Pantalone smut oneshot that has been sitting in my google docs for too damn long

an act of kindness: Pantalone oneshot where he's too tired for sex, so you give him a bubble bath. Starts spicy but doesn't go full smut, mainly domestic fluff.

Or You Lose: Modern era oneshot where Pantalone is a nightclub owner, and you're tasked with assassinating him.

i lie in your arms tonight: Pantalone oneshot where you're training a new recruit and things go horrifically wrong. Character death and angst heavy.

Stress Relief: Trans Pantalone/Male Reader smut, horrifically self indulgent

Keep Your Ego in Check: Male Harbinger Reader/Pre-Fatui Pantalone smut that is porn with wayyyyyy too much plot

"It fits you.": Short Pantalone/Reader request where he's jealous

Last Minute: Pantalone/Virgin Reader smut

An Unexpected "Guest": My submission for the 2024 Fatui Con "x reader" fic category

A Debt Repaid: You rescue young orphan Pantalone

Pantalone's daughter finds scissors

Expendable Resources: Pantalone angst fic where reader gets kidnapped and no one looks for them

to be beautiful: Pantalone/Transmasc Reader hurt/comfort

the illusion of choice: Yandere Pantalone/Fem Reader smut

Failure to Meet Expectations: Professor Pantalone/Fem Reader smut

Too Sweet: Capitano/Reader fluff request

Connecting the Dots: Pantalone/Reader where Reader is Neuvillette's child req

Sinking Feeling: MerMay 2025 Pantalone/Reader

Sweet Intentions: Zhongli/Reader smut where he buys you aphrodisiac chocolates by mistake

Offering A Hand: Sebastian Solace/Reader smut where you walk in on him taking care of himself, ao3 and tumblr versions here

Happy Hour: Reader insert fic based off Kieru's 2025 Hoyofair animation Blood Money, ao3 and tumblr versions here

Little Sprout: Morax/Reader smut where you tell your husband you want to have a child with him. Though it takes place during Ginkgo Trees, it's written so it CAN be read as a standalone fic.

If you really want some, if you're feeling lonely, baby get lucky: Omegaverse Reader/Pantalone where Pantalone rents an alpha to help him cope with his heat

Original Writing

Nov 11, 2025 edit: from now on any/all original work will be posted to @cains-creatures

a stone in the wall: Original horror story about walking through a serial killer's house, please mind the tags

Strung in My Web: A short piece about Satine, silk merchant and avatar of lust, seducing a nun

ubi amor, ibi dolor: A continuation/spinoff of my previous Satine piece where a trio of adventurers enter his lair looking for a missing woman. Mind the tags.

Headcanons/Ramblings

Pantalone health headcanons

Assorted Pantalone headcanons

Pantalone domestic fluff

Assorted/sorta modern Dottore headcanons

Pantalone being husband material

Pantalone appearance/self care

Modern Dottolone

Arlecchino/Pantalone/Reader NSFW

Casper First Time NSFW Headcanons (A Date With Death)

Pantalone being a Girl Dad

Common Tongue: Pantalone giving head NSFW

My Dr. Kel Headcanons

Breakdown of Dottore and Widow's relationship

Kinktober 2024

Week one: Spider Arlecchino/Fem Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

Week two: Pyramid Head Capitano/GN Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

Week three: Mothman Dottore/Fem Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

Finale: Vampire Pantalone/GN Reader (ao3) (tumblr)

[ask-the-multishipper-blog]

oh god what did i do

IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT

[imsoberish]

Do I dare?

[yourlocalxiaosimp]

WHAT THE—

[localplaguenurse]

Ur broken glasses reminded me of my broken real gold necklace that my grandma gave , they also broke the DAY before I had to go take pictures I was just happy to look a mess 🙂‍↔️

Rip 😭 what happened to my glasses was they were already kinda broken (the top part of the frame for the left lens had snapped and been glued in place so the lens wouldn't fall out). I wasn't paying attention when I was getting back in bed and basically stepped/sat on them, and snapped the bottom part of the frame.

I need new glasses anyway but I still need these ones until I actually get them!

[yuniv812]

HELLO EVERYONE!! i'm opening emergency commissions because I'M STILL WAITING ON A JOB OFFER!! the funds from this commission would go to rent and food because i'm running out of money to get food!! this maybe the last emergency commission i'll do (hopefully) if i get the job and it pays well!!

I SPECIALISE IN COUPLES/YUMESHIP ART! (additional characters cost 50% of the original price) HERE IS THE VGEN LINK if you prefer that!!!

3 SLOTS OPEN

[teathattast]

[twelfth-order-simulacra]

[teathattast]

All I got boss

[teathattast]

Just in boss

[teathattast]

All I got boss

[randomdoodless]

[i-like-reblog-maps]

[localplaguenurse]

My day be so ??? and then I go and listen to both versions of writing on the wall and start crying

[dead-dove-ble]

Actually you SHOULD make problematic content. You SHOULD explore dark or taboo topics. You SHOULD have a space where you can cope with your traumas or explore sensitive topics in a way that doesn't hurt anyone.

[shiptillyoudie]

Also you should make problematic content for funsies. You don't need to have had trauma or need to be coping in order to explore dark creativity. You can just be a human who wants to explore dark and taboo topics because you want to. That's completely normal, btw.

Every single person on this planet thinks about dark and taboo things. It's literally the most normal thing in the world.

Go draw the horror porn and be free.

[tackypies]

we should all be more like david cronenberg and write fucked up stuff. For Funsies

[punkitt-is-here]

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

[totally-cis-offical]

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

[moon-of-curses]

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough

[michaelmilkers]

i’ve been thinking about this video nonstop since the first time i saw it

the jaunty walk perfectly in time with the music. the tip of the hat the unaware or uncaring bystanders. the shaky camera with random zooming. the fact that this is seemingly happening in a park. this is peak media i can’t get over it

[severalowls]

fuck people who reblog posts which contradict each other. no! be explicitly clear

[satyriconmp3]

admire folks who reblog posts which contradict eachother. exactly! keep em guessing

[3000s]

[rockingbytheseaside]

...i'm curious as to what old man zandik would look like in your style i'll be honest 👉👈 also what do you think of pantalone's canon design and how different it may be from your past pantalone arts?

✦ very happy with the reveals of old man Zandik and Pantalone, hope you like my quick pieces

I always imagined Pantalone to be wearing a suit and tight shirt instead of the popular Liyue robes headcanons before 6.6 - and I was somewhat right! My old Pantalone art have aged because... Uh, my skills in art sucked lol. The only thing I didn't expect and have visualized incorrectly with my old art & fics is actually his personality. I always hc him with a touch of flimsy, despite his cunning personality. BRO IS FUCKING DEPRESSED. Like oh my goodness, I was distraught with the AQ because of him more than Dottore.

also peepaw is here

[maxknightley]

"it would be so good if it was good" will haunt you but "it's extremely good, except for the one or two parts which are so bad it's genuinely kind of insulting" will straight up drive you insane

[maxknightley]

one has you making posts like "okay but if the author UNDERSTOOD the POLITICAL IMPLICATIONS of the story they were telling, and leaned into it, it would actually be a really interesting exploration of..."

the other has you pacing your bedroom at one in the morning going "why. why would you ever in a million years do it like that. genuinely what possible thought process was involved. was the writer possessed by a fucking ghost or something."

[bumblebeebats]

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

[spectralhauntings]

I've been using the pet poison hotline's poison list cause it has a search function. It also tells you whether something is mildly, moderately, or severely toxic which can be very handy! It doesn't contain like everything but it might be a good place to start, it also includes plants for fellow houseplant lovers <3

Explore Pet Poison Helpline®s vast knowledge on poisons by reviewing our pet poison list. Explore our top 10 poison and holiday poison lists

[littlemousling]

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

[pollsforadults]

Spin the wheel. Now, imagine you're on a first date with someone who says they`re a [result]. How does this affect the odds of a second date?

100% guarantee I'll want a second date

It's significantly more likely

The odds don't change

It's significantly less likely

There wont be a second date. Absolutely not

Remaining time: 4 days 19 hours

Picker Wheel - Spin the Wheel to Decide a Random Choice

Picker Wheel is a wheel spinner for a random picker. Various functions & customization. Enter choices or names, spin the wheel to decide a r

(anon submission)

[sakana-no-yama]