Take Me Back To Eden
you radiate a warmth that loki craves, it reminds him of Asgard when he was young, before he thought of it as a place of unjust bias resulting in the anguish of their people. Since the day he saw this father for who he is loki only craved the familiarity and comfort of what felt like home to him. it had always seemed just out of reach, as if the world around him needed him to feel cold and alone, ironic considering his lineage.
The day he met you he could've sworn the universe was just putting him in his place, just another desire just out of reach, something he convinced himself would solve all his problems, or at least help him relax once in a while. You seemed almost ethereal, Moreso than even the god was prepared for. No one on the compound had told him they'd be getting a new teammate or that said teammate would give off an almost hypnotic aura.
Loki knew he needed you the second he laid eyes on you, it took him days to come up with a plan that he thought would succeed, he placed you on a metaphorical pedestal, convinced himself that even his best schemes couldn't trick you into spending time with him no matter the context.
Loki almost idolized you, he'd do things with the justification that you would want him to or that you would approve of his actions, most of the actions using those justifications were selfcare themed proving himself kind of right and definitely not wrong (his favorite type of right)
he'd gotten into the habit of going off into his own world while in meetings and especially while outside sunbathing, you were always the center of his fantasies, although innocent in nature they were still very distracting. in fact they were so distracting that he didn't notice you standing over him with a smile on your face until you kneeled down next to him where you poke his sides to get his attention. his eyes snap open the second you touch him, a moment ago he had thought your scent was just his overactive imagination.
the panic set in almost immediately, none of this was how he'd imagined the two of you would talk for the first time, he had always thought one day he would finally walk up to you after a mission, or maybe save you from imminent death, making him your saviour but here you sat with an eyebrow raised in curiosity.
"hey?" your greeting sounded more like a question than you had meant it to but you'd also expected loki to cause chaos at every chance
"h-hi" the only thoughts running through his mind was how perfect you were up close, he wanted to lean into you and never let you go but he refrained from doing so. you could read him like a book, his every though projected from behind his eyes, his body language screaming that he just wanted to fall into your arms and never leave.
"you're so much more docile than I expected" your head was tilted and your tone curious. Loki's paused for a moment, thinking over his most recent actions and how they'd been sub par for his standards. he hadn't thought he'd let you distract him that much but he hadn't gone through his usual weekly list of pissing people off with minor inconveniences and moving furniture an inch to the left. his methods have gone soft but he tells himself its just efficiency.
"i guess i have been more docile recently, you're right to have expected more of me." his gaze drops to the grass below you, the last thing he wanted was to disappoint you.
"n-no, its not that I expected more of you, I've just heard rumors, none of them exactly pleasant. i think its a good thing that you haven't been wreaking havoc. it makes you seem a little more approachable. " your smile softened and your brows furrowed.
"they don't speak to you much do they" you intended it to be a question but it was really more of an observation. loki just shook his head, he'd always been a loner, always craved recognition and reassurance, always just wanted to have someone to lean on and he seemed to have accidentally chosen you. he really didn't mean to but you just had this atmosphere surrounding you.
you placed your hand under his chin, gently pulling up so that he'd look you in the eyes, you felt the need to make him truly understand your intentions.
"they don't deserve a glimpse inside your mind, frankly neither do i but id like to change that if you'd let me" if it was the placement of your hand or the tone of your voice he wasn't sure but you had left him breathless, he nodded in response to you, not trusting his voice or even knowing what to say. all he knew was that he needed you, that he'd run to you any time he had the chance, his mind raced with possibilities, plans for long walks, places you might enjoy, he suddenly wanted to know everything about you, your favorite foods, if you had allergies, your favourite color. he needed to know it all, he wanted to crawl inside your mind and aimlessly walk till his legs give out.
you decided you would join him in the grass, sitting just out of the sun under a tree while he continued laying in the direct sunlight, he turned onto his side to face you, not ever wanting to miss a glimpse of you. even in the shade you seemed to be glowing, it was a nice warm glow that reminded him of an oil lamp or a camp fire on a summers night.
the sun had started setting, you and loki had fallen into a comfortable conversation that jumped from topic to topic, he would hang on your every word and you returned the interest. it seemed the two of you really were polar opposites, although you'd both spent much of your lives searching for something to even you out, for him that meant sunbathing for hours a day and for you that meant long walks on winter nights.
loki had kept in the back of his mind that you two might be able to even each other out more so than your current solutions, he didn't want to push his luck though, he had just gotten to talk to you today and he didn't want to push you to far or scare you off, although he did hope that you had the same thought process as him.
of course you had, it was what initially made you want to go to him, you'd heard rumors of him being cold, both physically and metaphorically. you'd always felt like you burned to bright for your own good, like at at any moment you'd combust and be left with nothing but ashes.
you'd always felt like Icarus, flying to close to the sun but not sure you could resist even if you wanted to. it had popped into your mind at some point while you and loki spoke that he could keep your wings from melting in the hot sun, although it would run the risk of the cold shattering the wax that kept you afloat. it felt like you had known him all your life, as if he was there from the start.
you thought to yourself that maybe both of your lives would have been better if you had known each other from the start, that maybe if you had been Asgardian or if he had been thrown to Midgard at a different time maybe together you would've been able to avoid the growing pains of life. maybe you would've been able to save his mother or avoid some alien invasions, maybe you could've saved him before he fell and maybe he could've held you before the collapse.
the chill in the air and the darkness surrounding you is what snapped you out of your train of thought, you'd both spent so long talking that your voices were hoarse and the sun had long gone down, the moon cast a blue sheen on Loki's skin making the green of his clothes stand out just that little bit more. the reflection in his eyes drew your attention, he seemed less at peace under the moonlight, almost as if nights in the past had left him sleepless and numb.
in reality it wasn't the night that was at fault but instead the endless expanse of space and the creatures that occupied it, particularly the ones that dedicated their lives to hunting him down and making him suffer, the sun helped him forget about the darkness that followed him across galaxies. you crawled towards him sitting back on your heels, you rested you hand on his back softly as to not startle him. the look on his face told you everything you needed to know.
"you know you don't have to run alone right?" your words were far softer than either of you had expected, the implication that you'd follow him across worlds hung heavy in the air, although he did understand where you were coming from. in the short time you'd been speaking to one another you'd become closer friends than loki had ever had.
he nodded in response before hesitantly responding "I know, but its safer if I'm alone.. less people get hurt when I'm alone" his word stung you in a way you didn't quite understand. you knew he didn't want to be alone and that he meant it towards everyone and not just you but you felt the need to prove him wrong which would prove to be a difficult task.
after a short pause you decided on actively asking him questions that would force him to second guess his train of thought and re-evaluate what his options actually are.
"is there really no where you could go that would be safe? even just for a little while? what about Asgard?" your spitfire questions almost threw his off, he'd never had someone try to problem solve with him because most people just wanted him gone.
"I mean, technically Asgard would be fine for a while... i never really thought about going back home. there really isn't anything there for me other than potential safety and inevitably the past." that answer felt almost to easy. the only real downside would be the lack of purpose. at least if he stayed here he would have something to fight for even if it wasn't something he was passionate about it was still a reason to get out of bed every morning. he also realized at the thought of leaving he felt an almost dread, not because he'd miss the things he has or the general area but because he'd found a new friend that he really didn't want to get to the point of missing. he didn't want to miss you.
"if you go to Asgard are you going alone?" you didn't want to outright ask if you could go with him but you were really hoping he'd let you, if nothing else it would be nice to see a new planet. he could've sworn that his heart fluttered, maybe he could have the best of both worlds.
"would you be willing to go with me?" a smirk creeped its way onto his face and with that you knew you'd finally get to see the chaos loki could bring, a trickster back in the places he learned how to trick people would be a recipe for fun, for him at least.
A/N- i will be making a part two fairly soonish, also i apologize if this seemed all over the place, it was written in the late hours of the night across several weeks and I'm not great at reading over things before i post them, maybe some day I'll learn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
PS. this was 2k words, v proud of myself
