Let Me Have This

I want to sleep

[airborneranger63]

One time my rabbi told us, “imagine you had a box with a little bit of god in it. What would you do with the box?”

So we were like ?? “We’d protect it and keep it nice and clean and polished” and he was like “your body’s that box. Stop eating markers”

[what-even-is-thiss]

Every time I come across this post the last sentence smacks me in the face

[fullhalalalchemist]

here’s my question……………if an animal was extremely endangered, like borderline almost extinct…..could beast boy……y’know…..

[fullhalalalchemist]

you all ignored this so im bringing it back

[spider-hands-mannos-deactivated]

Yes. He could.

[trilllizard666]

yeah, he can turn into fucking dinosaurs so of course he can turn into near extinct animals. fuck kinda question is this?

[trilllizard666]

wait a minute.

WAI-

[anybody-have-a-gps-deactivated2]

So I was looking through I bios on Spotify for the Hamilsquad

Lin’s was really long

Anthony’s gave good information

Oak didn’t have a bio

And then there’s Daveed

Edit: wow I didn’t expect this many notes!

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[e-lodicolo]

[disneytoonland]

The Little Mermaid 1989

[sleepysmilesamirite]

Do you guys know how long it took me to work out that he has seven daughters because there are seven seas?

Decades.

[little-bit-of-a-fixer-upper]

WHAT

[unicornsapplesandstuff]

Which sea is Ariel?

[crackcoffeeaddict]

Fucking red sea. Have you seen her hair.

[ari-els-blog1]

Attina- Bering sea (Bering is the largest, Attina is the oldest)

Alana- Black sea (hair)

Adella- Mediterranean sea (personality is romantic) 

Aquata-  Coral sea (personality is shy)

Arista- White sea (hair)

Andrina- Caribbean sea (personality is carefree)

Ariel- Red sea (hair)

[mnsreetusa]

Omg.

[believethatyoucangohome]

WHAT

[ginnyshipsdrarry]

Was their mother the Dead Sea?

[ameerkatofficial]

[dancingtragedies]

And I guess that makes Prince Eric Moses because he parted the Red Sea 😏

[thebishopsknifetrick-deactivate]

no offense but like… why are people obsessed with king kong and godzilla

[astoundingbeyondbelief]

Big

[stonecrusherproductions]

Loud

[mekagojira3k-deactivated2017120]

Handsome

[dankmemeuniversity]

[hotvampireadjacent]

age: 17

[homunculus-argument]

I keep thinking about that post about the whole genre of movies about a white guy getting into an asian philosophy, matrial art etc and then proceeding to surpass his teacher and be the best ever at it, and I started thinking about the opposite of it.

 I want a movie about a chinese dude who comes to Finland, downs an entire bottle of Koskenkorva, tries to fight a nearby cow and ends up lying face down in a ditch while sobbing about his ex wife and having like 5 finnish dudes staring at him in awe like

 “That’s him. That’s the chosen one.”

[marithlizard]

The 5 finnish dudes bring him home with them.  The next day, the chinese dude wakes up on the couch with a mighty hangover.   He turns on the TV and for the first time in his life sees Moomintroll.  Instant spiritual bonding experience.  Overcome with emotion,  he begins to sing an ode to Snufkin in a high clear tenor voice. The 5 finnish dudes hastily call their live-in wise old mentor.  “Yes,” says the mentor after watching chinese dude for a few minutes.  “The prophecy was true.  This is the chosen one.  This man…will be our 2020 Eurovision act.”

[typhlonectes]

[cesaray]

[bryansomething]

I had this scheduled because it’s May 18th but it has an entirely new meaning this year

[allthesepurplelights]

Will Ferrell is every non-European ever watching Eurovision for the first time

[jh-ddh4-7gbjv-xf6347bch-deactiv]

My nephew likes to play McDonald's, which is what you'd expect it to be. He says, "Welcome to McDonald's. How may I help you?" After you order, he says, "Okay, coming right up," and pretends to give you your food. He has another game called "Silly McDonald's," which is the same thing, except no matter what you order, he says, "Here's your cold hamburger."

[jh-ddh4-7gbjv-xf6347bch-deactiv]

I know I'm biased, but he's a comedic genius, as far as I'm concerned.

[jh-ddh4-7gbjv-xf6347bch-deactiv]

The last time I saw him, he said, "Let's play McDonald's," so I assumed it was regular McDonald's. But then he hit me with a cold hamburger. It was Silly McDonald's the whole time. I got played.

[kraetys]

This person is funnier than I will ever be

[strengthins0lidarity]

Jokes are over, guys. They won.

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[byjove]

Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*

My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The spiritual successor to Miette

[manicgoblinnightmarewoman]

Might I also add

[shydestinybread]

May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit

[unyanizedcatboys]

Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children

[explorerrowan]

I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.

[dualclock]

My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang

Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.

My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang

Me: ksst!

My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!

Me: ok

My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang

[notcaycepollard]

[tiktoks-we-like]

[bunjywunjy]

WATCH THE WHOLE THING

[ladyren]

UNMUTE

[vethyourhalflingmother]

my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:

he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as “between a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have children” so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like “you filed married last year” he was like “you changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kids” and they told him “you know who that law was for” and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year

[fromwolfsandgods]

Chaotic good

[swordshapedleaves]

NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn't just mean cheeky!

[dragkingandreweldritch]

this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work

malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism