Poems/Lyrics From Angry and Confused

[lonelyzuul]

[lonelyzuul]

The way women romanticize abusive dynamics but struggle to romanticize every other aspect of our lives because we’re conditioned not to be the “main character”…

Romanticize more!

Our mental health would improve if we put a concerted effort into finding romance in our lives, outside of romantic relationships. Opening up the definition of romance to encompass more. To be a state of mind that’s not mocked for frivolousness.

[lonelyzuul]

Does your mortality salience result from life apnea?

[lonelyzuul]

On her lunch break she raises the dead

But it can’t compete with the precedent

Of how she can’t afford her current residence

Goal post moved on value, to call her magic opulence

Denial is freighter on a river to hegemony

At the stage where we can’t identify enemies

And still you say we’re not in an unreasonable reality ?

Why can’t you see, what I see?

[lonelyzuul]

Purple used to be my favorite color (I)

Until I saw it, in the face of the dead woman, laying on sidewalk. Before those days, I never realized how colorful death was. My mind would conjure a ghostly palette; shades from grey to black at the mention. But death is as colorful as the plume on birds that have evolved to shine for love. No hiding. No camouflage.

People were leaving their meat all around, before the woman. The Care shortage growing, the people divided and dividing. The order needed to bury them away, drafted for a Higher Purpose. But she’s the first I got a good look at. And I knew her before. When she was alive. She hawked baby formula from a stoop, and in her sleeve the plug to the sapphic apothecary. Part of the whisperweb women went to for various problems, such as husbands who’re “too rough”. She would say, “there’s not a man who can maintain the right amount of rough. You’re better off with sandpaper or a file.” A smile.

Now a man steps on what’s left of her, body frozen under layers of newspaper, to tie his shoe. The words on her that were legible:

“Time: An Ebb and Flow, We’re In The Ebb”

“Is Machiavellianism The Answer?”

“Chad Supplements for Beta Fish Fights: Odds 3:1 Cucking”

“Has Freedom Gone Too Far?”

“Freedom” not too far off from the purple that’s coagulated at her cheek.

Purple used to be my favorite color.

[lonelyzuul]

Mortality Salience

Prolific shades between beige, I don’t compete. Hard corners layered in a hard cornered room. Dire like shadows on a chessboard. I want to paint it with mouth blood. Make it striking to escape the foreboding. Something sits in my stomach churning like a transcendental cat, shifting from liquid to solid to back; As though it’s circling a bed in a sort of preparation. No rush in a vulture. No need to escape when death amounts to positive reinforcement. On a whirling planet flying through space, moving at an incomprehensible speed, catastrophic events inevitable… and I can’t help but remain still. Everyone I know will die hating me for it. Still I remain still. I can’t get out of The Stillness. Can someone come meet me? Can someone follow the blood and meat me. Please?

[lonelyzuul]

Blow flies then beetles

Baptized in needles

Who are these people?

Playing with my bones

Say that I need you

No need can fix you

Pick through the sinew

And the relics of my tomb

Expression rueful

Lavender accrued

Canopic jars full

Next to my dry womb

now I watch the scarabs

Love their endless task

Used for punishment

Thought that Sisyphus collapsed

If he looked now

his crest would fall to find

By just it’s shit alone,

a pig is ill defined

No matter it’s preference to the grime

[lonelyzuul]

I want to be so mentally ill that I feel seen and validated by spirits in nature or ghost or tulpas, or whatever words stupid bodies label them by. Then I can finally kill myself and join them in nebulation.

I want the words to be meaningless too. The absence of weight. Sick of quicksand pressure. More weight! Crush me until I’m real nothing. So I can feel nothing too.

[lonelyzuul]

As the child burns the village down

We embrace our own agendas

And point our fingers in the brightest directions

Smudging the big picture

Maybe a child can’t find warmth

In a

Colosseum of Tenements

[lonelyzuul]

How does a feeling resolve?

You act like it’s a pill to be dissolved.

But my mouth is too dry and that’s the problem.

Not that pill is too big and stupid to be swallowed.

Not that there’s an economic industry built on making the pill as large as possible,

but small enough only a inconsequential amount of people choke to death during the attempt. The lawsuits already prepped and weighed against the profit.

No the problem is my palette, apparently…

[lonelyzuul]

The tree remembers what the axe has forgotten

The tree remembers what the axe self-deceives

It’s the wood that doesn’t ever lie

Washington forced to confess through his teeth

You don’t deserve tops, I’m keeping all the cherries

So throw blood until you meet your Carrie, maybe it will be me

Women open doors it’s not a matter of locking

You obliterate bridges, always on the outside knocking

You’d chew your hand off to keep your finger from pointing

Back at yourself upon your ritual of moping

The tree gives, you only take

The tree lives, you only complain

You say a tree is just a tree

The tree has roots so deep you can’t conceive

By your own definition of value, the tree has worth

Your entire being is arbitrary

[lonelyzuul]

Pangu

You reap what you sow

So beware of the roots you grow

The future is a past you chose

So pick your ghosts wisely as you go

Stocks Extemporaneously extending

Sans continuity amending

Synapses auto commemorating

No matter how you efface the nerve ending

Somethings are worth preserving

Somethings have no choice

Some people aren’t deserving

Some have no voice

I heard a sort of chirping

A snarl you employed

The schedule’s alerting

Regret null and void

Genesis perverted

I’m the envoy

So burn all your mail

and skulk the stolen alloy

As resources curtail

Motivated when annoyed

Earth hatched in half

Brahmehameha

Destined to fall in the crack

We gavage the Foie gras

To be gavaged right back

[lonelyzuul]

Isis

Women be crampin

You can’t hang with us

Converse answers rampant

You’re the antithe-SUS

Lenses built obscurant

So let us filter up

You’re hatred is pursuant

To your belief system

So don’t hit me up

Y’all piss me off

Don’t need your prompt

It’s just a taunt

You’re at a loss

won’t tell your boss

The jig is up

You never were the leprechaun

There’s no pot of gold

There’s no rainbow

There’s no quid pro quo

Just because a Plutotrad

Told you so

The quo is status

The pool is stagnant

The game is lagging

The song is static

The rules emphatic

The result is tragic

I’m sick of being

An apparatus

So you can find me with the sisters

Immersed in the server

Ignoring all the blisters

The plague of shrimp we release

Is just a precursor

[lonelyzuul]

Ares

Cut the blindfold off of Plutus

Handed the knife back to Brutus

Made Rex realize that he’s clueless

Hit Odysseus till he crewless

Hyped up the red like my name Kratos

I’m delirium flying, I’m Tori Amos

Done died like a hundred times: Danny Trejo

‘02 Durango looking like a tomato, but I’m eating mango, where’d my chain go? Now I’m Django, in the paint tho, but you can still eye my taint ho

Lost in the sauce but bitch this ain’t prego

Looking like a waffle but bitch I ain’t no eggo

Making my content more outrageous

I wish your contentment were contagious

Narrative so deep it defies the ages

Villains are more real let me iterate this

Kiss off into the sun

Monomyth so overdone

Pumped up kicks come undone

You better run, better run, outrun my gun

On solid ground son

[lonelyzuul]

One last message to the pigs:

You aren’t the light. You’re the water

Sincerely, The Gremlins

[lonelyzuul]

2020 year of the pathogen

‘21 is year of the clown

A real bitch, Chucky said it, Karen

Dunning Kruger effect surrounds

Pop an extraordinary folly

Found writhing Thomas in Paine

Let em all get hit with the trolley

The facile infographic entertains

Schrödinger's Bastet divorced

Is Mary best in her colorless room?

Bystander effect coerced

Limit in my understanding

Please do your worst

[gentilfarfalletta]

“Colocynth” ceramic vase, designed by Ernest Bussière, c. 1910, 8 in. high (via)