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@longawkwardpausemag
SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 20
SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 20
Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Grammy talk and Deadpool memes that is the web-net-inter-superhighway.
You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please fix that.
Until then, here is one handy dandy place to find…
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10 New Major Endorsements Won By Donald Trump
10 New Major Endorsements Won By Donald Trump
Last week, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign had received a major boost when in a public appearance, former vice-presidential candidate and TV personality Sarah Palin went on raving and incoherent rant about Donald Trump and America, which most experts agreed constituted an endorsement of Donald Trump’s candidacy for president. But winning the coveted endorsement from Sarah Palin was just a…
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Over the Line Show #38 The Pre-Clip Show
Over the Line Show #38 The Pre-Clip Show
On Today’s Show:
The Rule of the Clip Show, Three’s Company Lyrics Dissected, Antonin Scalia, American Government 101, Donald Trump, Ted Cruz Can’t Speak Spanish, Man Skips Work For Six Years, Full Frontal, Kevin Smith
(more…)
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SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 19
SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 19
Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Kanye Album name changes and Valentine’s Day memes that is the interwebnet.
You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please fix that.
Until then, here is one handy dandy place to…
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So....Got Any Big Plans for the Weekend?
So….Got Any Big Plans for the Weekend?
You almost forgot again, didn’t you? Well, never mind, you’ve just got time. Stop what you’re doing, before it’s too late. Clear your schedule. Have you taken care of dinner? Are you wearing the right clothes? Be sure that you’ve carefully set the mood, down to the last detail. You can’t afford to screw this up.
You don’t want to miss the Walking Dead Mid-Season premier on February 14th.
This is…
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Over the Line Show #37 Guest: Dr Smith
Over the Line Show #37 Guest: Dr Smith
On Today’s Show:
Guest Dr. Smith, Hockey Bowls, Cleveland Browns, Year of the Monkey, The Super Bowl, Manning Makes Out With Papa John, Best and Worst Super Bowl Commercials, Taco Bell, The New KFC Colonel, Snoop Dog
(more…)
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Ode to Mountain Dew
Ode to Mountain Dew
According to Wikipedia, in 1940 two Tennessee beverage bottlers named Barney and Ally Hartman invented the formula for Mountain Dew. Below is my tribute to those two fine men: I walked into the 7-11 and quickly made my way to the back of the store where the drink coolers are located. Immediately, I could see it staring back at me. The 12-ounce, green canned goddess looking into my eyes. It…
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SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 18
SOCIAL SATURDAYS Vol 18
Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of rodents predicting the weather and Peyton Manning memes that is the webs of the net.
You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please fix that.
Until then, here is one handy dandy…
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See? We don't know what Taco Bell's new menu item is either
See? We don’t know what Taco Bell’s new menu item is either
There are certain perks that come with being a syndicated columnist. For example, just last month at the Oregon Plumbling Convention, I was honored with delivering the opening plunge in the Northwest Clogged Commode competition. In terms of prestige, this is like ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange. At least in the competitive plumbing circuit. I have also been a guest judge…
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Over the Line Show #36 Bacon Cheeseburger Ring
Over the Line Show #36 Bacon Cheeseburger Ring
On Today’s Show:
Winning Big At Poker, Celebrity Apprentice, Joe Communistic Attitude Towards Dairy Queen, Cake Cone Tips, Batman bushes, American Crime, Cell Phones In Movie Theaters, Susan Sarandon’s SAG Awards Boobs, Carol Burnett, Burger King vs. Wendy’s, The Best Cheesesticks
(more…)
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LAP's Cooking Playlist
LAP’s Cooking Playlist
I have two major passions in my life. Oops, forgot about the kids – make that THREE major passions in my life. But this isn’t a mommy blog, so you’re stuck with the other two.
The first is food. Pretty obvious considering my blogging name, right? I love making food, eating other food that people made for me, reading about food, telling others about food. The only thing I don’t like about…
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SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 17
SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 17
Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Twitter wars and life hack memes that is the world web net surfing thing.
You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please fix that.
Until then, here is one handy dandy place to…
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LAP chews fat with Surgeon General about obesity problem
LAP chews fat with Surgeon General about obesity problem
Like many of you, I’ll never forget where I was when I heard the shocking news that obesity had officially become the No. 1 preventable health crisis in the nation. In fact, I can even tell you which super-sized meal I was eating.
With millions of Americans resolved to lose weight for the New Year, now is the perfect time for us to make changes in our eating habits before the unthinkable…
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Over the Line Show #35 Eagles Vs Pink Floyd
Over the Line Show #35 Eagles Vs Pink Floyd
On Today’s Show:
Eye exams, Glenn Frey, Best selling albums of all time, Changes to the Oscars, Religious Donald Trump, TV’s renewals and cancellations, Amy Schumer (more…)
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LAP's 2016 Super Bowl Thoughts and Predictions
LAP’s 2016 Super Bowl Thoughts and Predictions
It’s that time of year again. The time when we go semi-cray-cray and start figuring out creative ways to avoid our day jobs before and after the Super Bowl. The off days before are to prepare awesome barbecue food and drink. The days after are to sleep, vomit and medicate ourselves past the annual epic hangover we should have earned on New Year’s.
This team…
…will play this team
Going into…
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SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 16
SOCIAL SATURDAYS VOLUME 16
Welcome to Social Saturdays! This is the feature where you get to find out what the Long Awkward Pause staff members are posting onto the screaming void of Oscar Boycotts and “Be like Bill” memes that is the wide world of webs.
You’re probably following most of them and clicking like on their comedy gold postings…and if you’re not, please fix that.
Until then, here is one handy dandy place to…
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Eclectic; A Hipster Conversation
Eclectic; A Hipster Conversation
byline: Jude the Hipster Eclectic; a hipster conversation From the Merriam Webster online dictionary- ECLECTIC: (n) one who uses a method or approach that is composed of elements drawn from various sources; one who uses an eclectic method or approach. For the most part, people who use the term “eclectic”really piss me off. Generally, people who throw this term aimlessly into the air from their…
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