i believe in the power of blue gatorade

[animentality]

[jeffwholivesathomunculus]

Been watching Spider-Noir and I think the one very important but often forgotten thing they got right is that nobody in this show has iPhone Face. Casting department for the extras and supporting roles deserves a raise, because they really nailed the 40s Character Actors look. Lotta faces on this show that look like they were made from Play-Doh and I mean that as a compliment. There's some real mugs, thugs, bulldogs, wet rats, weirdos and GOONS in the people's faces in this crowd. "Whateva you say, boss" and "you wants it to hurt, boss?" henchmen so classically rectangular we're reclaiming the word GOON tonight. Even the little street kids look like winos.

[draizetrain]

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

[thecryptkeeper]

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

[mumblesplash]

it’s so magical and beautiful that there are sprawling interconnected cave systems carved deep into the earth by various geological forces and you don’t have to go in them. there are miles and miles of stone passageways in total darkness that require you to exhale all the air out of your lungs to squeeze through parts of them and you don’t have to be there. some of these squeezes are underwater and require cave divers to take off their oxygen tanks and push them through ahead of them and me i am above ground looking at the sky as we speak. there are untold subterranean wonders no human has ever seen and i will not be the one to discover them #grateful #blessed

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[segamascott]

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

[rainbowgaez]

evil great lakes

lake inferior

lake normal

lake offtario

lake hurton

lake michigan

[despazito]

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[uncertainlys]

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

[sexchangedotcom]

ancient roman women whose husband keeps looking at the neighbour's boy quintus and he never looks at her that way and she can't even chainsmoke in the kitchen because they don't have marlboro blues in ancient times. and she can't even go to the club because they haven't discovered drum and bass music yet. her friend clodia's having visions of a woman named doechii but neither of them knows what that means

[jellogram]

I should be doing more to appreciate the lack of marvel movies in today's popular culture. I once yearned for marvel movies to have this level of irrelevance. They used to feel almost ozymandian, like an empire that had no beginning and no end. and now tony stark iron man is naught but two vast and trunkless legs of stone.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to be a broken record every month but christ menstruation is a stupid concept. oooooh excuse me for not getting pregnant, why the fuck is there goo falling out of me about it? grow the fuck up and reabsorb that shit for nutrients.

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[lyuricheva]

any conversation about who could play odysseus well (as opposed to the obvious terrible choice matt damon) is inane, in my view, because it’s already been done and served by toby stephens of maggie smith’s son fame in an acclaimed yet underwatched show black sails under the name james “flint”—