Llama Facts

I failed both the Turing test and the Kinsey test.

[prokopetz]

I've regularly done stuff that warrants adjectives like "daft" and "senseless", but some day I hope to rise as high as "harebrained" – or even, in my most fanciful flights of ambition, "preposterous".

[loth-caatgirl]

[thesummoningdark]

The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more

[the-stray-liger]

the fucking timestamp

[thesummoningdark]

Happy tenth birthday to this post which will apparently haunt my notifications for all eternity.

It’s about Brexit, by the way. The timestamp is a week post-referendum. Newsthump is UK-based and I myself am scottish. And yes, things have 100% got worse since then, but personally I regard the referendum as the point at which we entered the Clownshoes Timeline.

[throathole]

“Lol” hasn’t meant “laughing out loud” in like 15 years… it’s just a word now and more importantly it’s the perfect way to end a sentence lol

[throathole]

So true… I have never gained anything useful from tone indicators except for learning that some sentences suddenly end in a handjob

[romanceyourdemons]

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

[romanceyourdemons]

#ow

[romanceyourdemons]

#stuck

[sistertaxon]

not to be like a reactionary boomer luddite but i kinda hate a lot of the mlb rule changes in the last 5 years

[sistertaxon]

i hate the pitch clock i hate banning the shift i hate the robo ump i hate the pitchcomm i hate the pitch clock i hate the lack of game 163 i hate the pitch clock

[deadpowol]

[tahthetrickster]

[streetkit]

it does suck that the government defunded PBS but it's also so fucking funny that now that they don't take uncle sam's slavery dollars they're running videos like "How america's foundation was built on genocide"

no more being polite about it fuck the USA

[sadclowncentral]

so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.

it makes you a fruit.

[sumverendus]

[sandpancakecat]

[6balls]

if you think showing ur kids harry potter will radicalize them u are wrong and u should just instead watch a bug’s life and chicken run. there are gays in there, even. no not “canonically,” shut up, i’m old and in my day we simply UNDERSTOOD when a chicken was a lesbian or a stick bug was a gay man with the telepathic connection between our massive gay brains like the baby geniuses. i took a benadryl

[6balls]

stop reblogging this post OP has a foot fetish

[caffeinatedopossum]

"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.

[rotzaprachim]

“hallelujah” by leonard cohen being played as an easter and christmas song, “zombie” by the cranberries” being played as a halloween song, and “born in the U.S.A.” by bruce springsteen being played as a Fourth of July/generic us patriotism song have got to be a special trifecta of the most no-listening-comprehension musical moments that happen on seasonal playlists every single year 

[socialistexan]

[vitabreva]

[themummersfolly]

How dare you leave this in the tags.

[charlesoberonn]

[mini-wrants]

Outdoor in sun perfec t place for president to do speech! Outdoor very warm very soft put old man on green lawn under sun. Put old man in warm sun. no problem ever in warm sun because good view and audience can see long speech. Nice podium outdoor sunny perfect place for old president can trust warm sun to give nice view to President good luck to President. friend sun.

[kaijuno]

[evilwizard]

[sreegs]

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

[sreegs]

"this how we lost post editing and it was still worth it"

❌ False

The John Green Cock Monologue, while one of the most egregious examples of post editing, was not why the ability to edit posts was taken away. This feature was removed because scammers would edit posts with huge note counts to try to make their scams look legit.

[sreegs]

"those are his hooves, bitch."

✅ True

Those are his hooves, bitch.

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Leverage S05E13 The Corkscrew Job.