YO

hi my name is audrey this blog has no theme I post what I want and I take no shit

[valtsv]

girls night! *gets horribly lost in the labyrinthine catacombs beneath the city and chased by creatures and beings*

[foulserpent]

[themauvesoul]

Hate diet culture so much bitches will b like “don’t eat processed carbs they’re so bad for you” like and??? So what?? God did not give us grain and stone to grind it with for no reason. Bread is inevitable. Bread is food for the heart and the soul. U think I’m gonna give that up in pursuit of instagram fitness?? U think I’m gonna deny myself the simple pleasure of toast with jam so I can endlessly chase an ever-shifting standard of beauty that ultimately means nothing? In 20 years I will no longer be beautiful and in 60 my body will be vacant food for other, smaller creatures. But the taste of fresh bread? Of homemade donuts and still-warm pie? I will carry the taste on my tongue into whatever follows this life. So like. Stop telling me I should diet lmao. I’m not abt to martyr myself just to get a man to look at me.

[mockiatoh]

Op genuinely thank you for this

[catchymemes]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

i am obsessed with the comments on recipe sites

[sarlisart]

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

[fishbowlgirl]

if anyone was wondering what the message known as the 340 cypher says:

[arealbonecracker]

Everything about this is hilarious to me because if you've been 'into' serial killer mysteries as long as I've been you've probably also sat though 10274748292 different people claiming this particular note would be the Big Reveal, how it 'has to be', because no one could crack it and then surprise bitch it's more of the same jackshit chickenscratch garbage he already sent you hilarious

[sindri42]

The big reveal is that he didn’t know how to spell paradise.

[ooc-amongus]

[expee]

[clockworkrobotic]

me: starts typing a new line of code

coding software: WHat IS THat??? whAT Th?E FuCK Is thAT??? WHat arE  YoU ???DOInG ThaTs nOt? ReAL cODE?????

me: finishes typing the line

coding software: :)

[mockwa]

[toastoat]

wahoo!! hell yeah!!!

[e-seal-deactivated20210319]

Posts that changed the world pt. 2

[capacity]

[taxidermygirll-deactivated20180]

Cubone is forever one of my favorite pokemon. I just want to hug and kiss them forever and tell them it’ll be alright.

[antis0cials0cialist]

Now that’s its own American Gender Nightmare that we don’t have time to get into… John Mulaney on the New York Subway’s Announcement System Saturday Night Live - 02 March 2019

[fabula-unica]

I have a simple yet elegant solution: give both warning and information in the female voice. The people who don’t heed the warning because it’s issued by a female voice will therefore be at higher risk of injury and death, thus addressing the American gender nightmare at its root.

[tinderfinds]

“I’ve been getting nothing but lesbians”

[hyundaimovietheatre]

wholesome

[chaeronaea]

“i’m a fool in a man’s shoes” is the most powerful thing i have ever read

[the-gentleman-who-wants-to--blog]

The silver trail that snails leave behind what is it

[ihavenoideawhattoputforthis]

Profitable

[the-gentleman-who-wants-to--blog]

I need to contact a few associates.

[thetenderpassion]

[surprisebitch]

[fuckheads-revenge]

As an update, they’ve moved into a house together and are still super cute

[officialwayneenterprises123-dea]

Gundam Guy is truly a man of patience and diligence. From his attention to detail building his models to the loving attention and detail for his wife.

[memewhore]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

apparently this is a thing in Japan too, and it gets translated as “Mundane Halloween.” There are so photos online and they’re all so good?????

“Person going to work on a windy day"

“Woman who’s having her bang cut but the hairdresser is nowhere to be found"

"Zookeeper in charge of the pandas"