If it's not Baroque, don't fix it.

Dylan. 29 they/them. Butch with a beard. Married, cat mom, ADHD dumpster fire. Chicago. My side blog is a little less savory... 🌶

[lookhowmanetfucksigive]

I was gonna post like a more recent picture of myself but literally all of my recent selfies are either uh a lil too kink specific or pictures I took for my teacher Instagram...

[lookhowmanetfucksigive]

You can tell I’ve only used tumblr for uh p*rn content and fetish shit over the last two years...

[lookhowmanetfucksigive]

Somehow wound up back on this god forsaken site after like... 2 goddamn years. Why am I trash?

[natreidess]

Carli Lloyd: “I’m continously getting better”

People who have watched her play the last two years:

[simon-petricock-deactivated2024]

When u wake up and ur teddy bear is on the floor

[nprglobalhealth]

Why Poppin' That Booty Is Good For Your Back

“Most people tend to round out their backs when they sit,” says orthopedic surgeon Nomi Khan. “Their spine is in an improper position, and they will tend to have more back problems.”

Back problems crop up because sitting like a C — or a cashew nut — can damage the little shock absorbers in the spine, called the intervertebral disks.

Read the full story here

[npr]

This story and gif changed my prospective on sitting. -Emily

[andhumanslovedstories]

This is the greatest progression of events I have ever read, where’s my historical gay romance novel about this

[ariaste]

KING JAMES, CAN YOU CHILL?

[cornchipz-revival]

Local King Cannot Stop Promoting His Boyfriend

[ruby--wednesday]

where’s the lush period drama about this series of events?

[hotidiotsoup]

fun thing about king James, this guy was fairly public about his bf (more public than what was acceptable). He threw lots of extravagant parties with his man on his arm. It pissed off the church obviously so to get them off his back, he’s the one that ordered the third translation of the Bible from Hebrew to English (the King James Version aka the Authorized Version) so the Bible every hot blooded all American Christian reads today was literally just written so a very gay king could fuck his boyfriend in peace.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

oh my god this is hilarious

“guys, guys. I know this looks kinda gay, and i promise i have a good explanation for all this, but have you considered… that jesus… is also gay? checkmate, heteros.”

[catchymemes]

Sunshine

[cydonianmystery-deactivated-dea]

This comic is a goddamned mood.

[surprisebitch]

petty level over 0.0000158 light years

[monkeydluphy]

He was so mad at the sun he worked hard just to super soak that hoe

[jchamphero]

He did it too that’s why there aren’t any more panels lol

[am-i-a-cheerleader]

You know why Harry Potter is amazing? 99% of fan theories, headcanons and meta could be canon because Harry is about as observant as a brick wall. Did Slytherins come back to fight in the Battle of Hogwarts? Did Draco Malfoy enjoy crossdressing? Was Hermione transgender? Who knows, certainly not Harry

[q33r-deactivated20190402]

Harry didn’t notice Hermione time traveling around him for a whole year or his own teacher’s hand writing

Harry didn’t notice that he was a wizard

[the44th]

The glass is just gone I don’t know maybe that just happens with snakes sometimes. 

[grammatically-incoherent]

→ give me brooklyn nine nine [see also]

[flowerais-deactivated20211031]

things that exist but you can’t see:

people thinking about you and smiling

flowers growing in your heart

the moon’s affection for you

how much you’ve healed already

a lovely future written in the stars

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

why must blogger-moms and pet-instagrams be enemies? all of this back-and-forth about “why it’s rude to call your pets your babies” and “why my dog is better than your kids”

can’t we put aside our differences and focus on what makes us all the same:

panicked shouts of “WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH” 10 times a week

[gojiro]

Fun Vampire Fact; the reason that Vampires traditionally cannot see their reflections in a mirror is because mirrors used to be backed with a reflective layer of silver — which, as the metal of purity, would not ‘interact’ with Vampires, who are the Devil’s work.

However, modern mirrors have used aluminum as their reflective backing for many years now — and aluminum is not a ‘picky’ metal at all. So Vampires are able to see their reflections in modern mirrors.

[roseate-rein]

All I can think about is a vampire used to not seeing their reflection in mirrors for centuries, and one day they are just walking along and unknowingly pass a mirror backed with aluminum and THEY NEARLY SHIT THEMSELVES.

[skysinger-musings]

[dailymarvelheroes]

[kibumkim]

i have no gender and i must scream

[salroka]

some dudebro: women are too emotional to be jedi

me: 

[eevielearnsfrench]

Can someone just………………. explain French to me?

[markedbyx]

its spanish but you speak it in cursive

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

You have 11 letters. You pronounce 4 of them.

[wideeyedsmile]

Learn to speak spanish. Now learn to speak italian. Now subtract the spanish from italian. You are left with french.

[iamnotswarley]

Latin, but then make it fashion

[andthosearesmalleragents]

Cover the second half of the word, squint, and pronounce only the vowels you think you see

[thehighpriestofreverseracism]

gargling but with air