Untitled

[marauders4evr]

We’re Going To WHAT!? - A (Long) Oneshot

(Author’s Note: The fear of explosion is inspired by that scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince where the Death Eater zooms towards the castle before ultimately hitting the barrier.)

An explosion echoed throughout the corridors of the Hogwarts Express.

It was quickly followed by the loud laughs of four teenagers.

Remus cleared the smoke from the compartment. They grinned at their fallen tower of Exploding Snap cards. Peter proceeded to perform a spell that would allow his eyebrows to regrow. The quartet of seventeen-year-olds glanced up as their compartment door was wrenched open.

“Don’t worry,” James immediately said, “We were just playing Ex-”

He broke off as he recognized the man in the doorway.

His eyebrows shot towards his wild hair.

“What are you doing here, Snivellus?” James asked.

Snape was too preoccupied to frown at the old nickname.

“You need to come,” Snape declared, “Quickly.”

He was staring at Sirius.

The Marauders exchanged glances.

“Okay,” Sirius wryly said, “Sure. I’ll just follow you at your cryptic command.”

“It’s Regulus.”

Sirius was on his feet in an instant.

He followed Snape through the train.

James, Remus, and Peter were at his heels.

They could hear the unhinged sobbing before they even reached the Slytherins’ large compartment. Snape wrenched open the door and they hurried in. Sirius gave a start. His normally composed brother was a wreck.

His pale cheeks were flushed. His silver eyes were flooded with tears. He was grabbing his raven hair and incoherently babbling.

“Reg?” Sirius whispered, “You okay?”

He crouched down in front of his brother.

“I don’t want to explode,” Regulus whimpered.

Sirius gave a start.

At long last, he let out a shaky laugh.

“Are you talking about that explosion?” Sirius cried, “Don’t worry? That was just Wormtail messing up a perfectly balanced tower of Exploding Snap cards.”

Peter flushed.

“N…not that,” Regulus stammered, “I…I’m g…going to e…e…explode.”

Sirius didn’t know what to say.

He helplessly glanced at James.

James crouched down and asked, “Why are you going to explode, Regulus?”

“D…Dumbledore…p…put up wards,” Regulus moaned, “I…c…can’t…”

“Wards?” Remus repeated, “Do you mean the anti-security wards?”

Regulus’ head bobbed up and down.

He looked terrified.

“Don’t worry, Reg,” Sirius whispered, “Those wards only keep out…”

He trailed off.

Two pairs of silver eyes met.

The blood drained from Sirius’ face.

“Oh God,” James croaked.

Remus groaned and Peter closed his eyes.

Sirius was completely stone-faced.

“Sirius,” James carefully said.

“You son of a bitch,” Sirius burst out, “And I mean that in every literal way!”

He leapt to his feet and did a small spin. He clutched his hair in a manner so similar to his brother that the others were taken aback. James stood up as well and tried to calm Sirius. Snape put a hand on a weeping Regulus’ shoulder.

“Mummy Dearest and Daddy Dearest are right proud, aren’t they?” Sirius shrieked, “Did they throw a party for you? I’m so sorry that I missed the invitation! We should celebrate right now with the last few minutes that you have left on this bleeding earth!”

“Sirius,” James loudly said.

He was anxiously ruffling his hair.

“So, what?” Sirius continued, “You want our help? Why not call up Voldemort and have him help you? After all, you two are such good buddies!”

James cried his name once more.

Regulus spoke in a tiny voice, “Are you going to help me or not?”

“Of course I am,” Sirius roared, “I’m your bloody brother!”

He took a deep breath before calmly asking, “When’s the train due?”

“7:13 PM,” Remus promptly said.

Sirius pulled a watch from his pocket. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had given it to him for his seventeenth birthday. They didn’t have much time.

He crossed to the window and promptly punched it. The others winced and cried out. Sirius ignored them and instead stuck his head out the window. The wind slapped him.

“Let’s go tell the driver,” Peter suggested, “He’ll be able to stop the train!”

Sirius ducked back in just in time to see Peter and Remus race away.

"It’s okay,” James gently said, “They’ll stop it.”

Sirius decided that he wasn’t going to take that chance.

He pulled out his wand and slashed it through the air. James screamed his name before relaxing as nobody was hit. Instead, Sirius had aimed it towards hte wall. There was a terrible noise as the magic cut through the metal.

“What are you doing, Black?” Snape demanded.

Sirius ignored him.

He continued to guide his wand until he had created a large hole.

He then seized the front of Regulus’ robes and pulled him to his feet.

“Come on,” Sirius grunted, “We’re going to jump the train.”

“We’re going to what?”

“We’re going to jump the train,” Sirius repeated.

“You’re barking!”

Sirius smirked and Regulus muttered, “Shut it.”

“Trust me, Reg,” Sirius gently said.

He glanced up and abruptly gave a start.

“Bloody hell!” Sirius shrieked, “What’s that?”

Regulus stepped forward to look.

Sirius promptly pushed his brother off of the train.

Regulus screamed quite a profane word as he fell.

“LANGUAGE!” Sirius roared, “WHAT WOULD MUMMY AND DADDY DEAREST SAY?”

He took a deep breath before leaping out.

He let out a loud whoop as he fell.

James and Snape raced over to the hole.

They caught a glimpse of Sirius and Regulus treading water in the middle of a large lake. They looked dazed but otherwise unharmed. The train turned a corner and they were gone.

Snape shook his head before muttering, “Anyone else would have been gruesomely killed. The only reason why it worked out splendidly for them is because they’re the blasted Black brothers…”

[lop9080]

reblogging because every so often I want to reread this fic and I can never find it so my search history gets real weird for about half an hour and I’d like to stop doing that.

[greatwhiteprivilege]

[firefoxed]

why would a candle thats already lit want to be with a match

[balkanbruiser]

also her being lit is going to eventually melt her and reduce her to nothing match guy is an abusive sadboy who thinks he’s the victim when candlegirl just wants someone who will keep her alive

[greatwhiteprivilege]

im here for this analysis

[lop9080]

Jack Frost’s pale complexion and dark eyes make a hell of a lot more sense about outside of “He’s cold”  half way through the movie...

[toastbutteregg]

wow why did you have to say this

[lop9080]

There wouldn’t be so many if sex education was decent world-round.  

[princessesfanarts]

By 白鈴

[lop9080]

Marius in 1832:

Enjolras in 2009:

[webcomicname]

[humorqueen]

took an IQ test for geniuses and needless to say, my 23/36 score made me so mad at myself cause i really thought id score more than that 😡

here’s the link if you guys want to try it! dont take it if youre impatient and easily frustrated because i almost closed it

[voguediet]

im very competitive and i thought ill do way better than you only to get a 25/36 IM MAD

[draculoid-money-deactivated2020]

22/36 I’m so pissed at myself

[lop9080]

Y’all are all idiots.

[healingsuggestions]

you are growing from this you are growing from this you are growing from this

[3dfilm]

me talking to the dinosaur pellet i just put in a glass of water

[morbidology]

Daniele Watts, an African-American actress who has starred in Hollywood films such as Django Unchained, was “handcuffed and detained” by Los Angeles police officers after being mistaken for a prostitute for kissing her white husband in public.

[errolwiththepost]

More on this story can be found here

[sunflowyr]

“She said when she reminded the officer of his oath to “protect and serve,” he replied, ‘My job’s not to serve people like you.’ ”

[lamardeuse]

‘My job’s not to serve people like you.’

‘My job’s not to serve people like you.’

‘My job’s not to serve people like you.’

Has everybody got that? Does anyone still think any of this bullshit ‘has nothing to do with race’? 

[maliciousmelons]

*trips over my low self esteem*

[thottistani-deactivated20220220]

No gay has all 5:

- A job

- Good relationship with father

- Neurotypical brain

- Ability to top

- Driver’s license

[garbage-empress]

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

[tarantula-veins-deactivated2023]

bold of you to assume I have any of these things

[rusted-but-golden-deactivated20]

Dam

[writingfeedsthedarkestones]

I have one

[pawtoncake]

I dead ass have 4 of them,,, :0

[galacticchaosminion]

im 23 with no job, the dad isnt the best, im definitely not a top and i cant drive (i skipped over the brain thing cuz im too dumb to know what neurotypical means)

[lop9080]

If you don’t know what neurotypical means, you’re probably neurotypical.

[theweirdwideweb]

[terrapincentury-deactivated2018]

sleepy babey cry buich

[just-shower-thoughts]

Telling a depressed person to be happy because they are loved is like telling someone with asthma to breathe because there is oxygen around them.

[just-shower-thoughts]

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we are born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

[did-you-know]

When Mark David Chapman murdered John Lennon in 1980, David Bowie was the next target on his hit list. Bowie, who was starring on Broadway at the time, said “Chapman had a front-row ticket to ‘The Elephant Man’ the next night. John and Yoko were supposed to sit front row for that show, too. So… there were three empty seats in the front row. I can’t tell you how difficult that was… I almost didn’t make it through the performance.” Source Source 2

[lop9080]

I took Mulaney’s “Horse in a Hospital” Metaphor and made it not a metaphor.

I’ve never really cared about politics. Never talked about ’em much. But then, last November, the strangest thing happened. [audience laughing] Now, I don’t know if you’ve been following the news, but I’ve been keeping my ears open and it seems like everyone everywhere is super-mad about everything all the time. I try to stay a little optimistic, even though I will admit, things are getting pretty sticky. Here’s how I try to look at it, and this is just me, this guy being the president, it’s like there’s Trump loose in the White house. It’s like there’s Trump loose in a White House. I think eventually everything’s going to be okay, but I have no idea what’s going  to happen next. And neither do any of you, and neither do your parents, because there’s Trump loose in the White House. It’s never happened before, no one knows what Trump is going to do next, least of all the Trump. He’s never been in a White House before, he’s as confused as you are. There’s no experts. [audience cheering] They try to find experts on the news. They’re like, “We’re joined now by a man that once saw a bird in the airport.” Get out of here with that shit! We’ve all seen a bird in the airport. This is Trump loose in a White House. When Trump is loose in a White House, you got to stay updated. So all day long you walk around, “What’d Trump do?” The updates, they’re not always bad. Sometimes they’re just odd. It’ll be like, “ Trump used the elevator?” [audience laughing] I didn’t know he knew how to do that. [audience laughing] The creepiest days are when you don’t hear from Trump at all. [audience laughing] You’re down in the White House like, “Hey, has anyone…” [audience laughing] “Has anyone heard–” [imitates clopping hooves] Those are those quiet days when people are like, “It looks like Trump has finally calmed down.” And then ten seconds later Trump is like, “I’m gonna run towards the baby incubators and smash ’em with my hooves. I’ve got nice hooves and a long tail, I’m Trump!” That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fucking Trump. And then… [audience cheering] Then… Then you go to brunch with people and they’re like, “There shouldn’t be Trump in the White House.” And it’s like, “We’re well past that.” Then other people are like, “If there’s gonna be Trump in the White House, I’m going to say the N-word on TV.” And those don’t match up at all. And then, for a second, it seemed like maybe we could survive Trump, and then, 5,000 miles away, Kim Jong Un was like, “I have a nuclear bomb and I’m going to blow up the White House!” And before we could say anything, the Trump was like, “If you even fucking look at the White House, I will stomp you to death with my hooves. I dare you to do it. I want you to do it. I want you to do it so I can stomp you with my hooves, I’m so fucking crazy.” “You think you’re fucking crazy, I’m a fucking hippopotamus. I live in a fucking lake of mud. I’m fucking crazy.” And all of us are like, “Okay.” Like poor Andy Cohen at those goddamn reunions. “Okay.” And then, for a second, we were like, “Maybe the Trump-catcher will catch the Trump.” And then Trump is like, “I have fired the Trump-catcher.” [audience laughing] He can do that? That shouldn’t be allowed no matter who the Trump is. I don’t remember that in Hamilton. [audience laughing]

Sometimes, if you make fun of Trump, people will get upset. These are the people that opened the door for Trump. I don’t judge anyone. But sometimes I ask people. I go, “Hey, how come you opened the door for Trump?” And they go, “Well, the White House was inefficient!” [audience laughing] Or sometimes they go, “If you’re so mad at Trump, how come you weren’t mad when the last guy did this three and a half years ago? You’re beating up on Trump when the last guy essentially did the same thing five years ago.” First off, get out of here with your facts. You’re like the kid at the sleepover who, after midnight, is like, “It’s tomorrow now!” Get the fuck out of here with your technicalities. Just ’cause you’re accurate does not mean you’re interesting. That was fun when we watched Beetlejuice tonight. “Don’t you mean last night? It’s after midnight.” Why don’t you get your sleeping bag and get out of my house! Take your EpiPen, take your goddamn EpiPen and get out of my house! But when people say, “How come you were never mad at the last guy?” I say, “Because I wasn’t paying attention.” I used to pay less attention before it was Trump. Also, I thought the last guy was pretty smart, and he seemed good at his job, and I’m lazy by nature. [audience cheering] I’m lazy by nature too. So I don’t check up on people when they seem okay at their job. You may think that’s an ignorant answer but it’s not, it’s a great answer. If you left your baby with your mother tonight, you’re not going to race home and check the nanny cam. But if you leave your baby with Gary Busey… [audience laughing]