Hello!! Just a little idea I thought of—please let me know if you dont wanna write this though!!
So, maybe platonic headcanons of the main four of Homestuck (John, Dave, Rose, Jade) with the reader as like an older sister figure of sorts who is constantly overwhelmed/stressed and 5 seconds from a breakdown due to how stressed she is (think like how Twilight's breakdowns in MLP are 😭) over the main four getting up to crazy stuff and the whole world being triggered into ending thing in general—but, the main four i n question are kind of menaces toward her and like messing with her (classic sibling teasing—), at least John and Dave seem to like it. But the second anyone else bullies or messes with her that ISNT the main four doing it, they unleash all Hell and act very protective of her (possibly fighting people if they even dare to be mean to their older sister figure somehow)—
I dunno if that makes sense, but I just thought maybe it would be silly (its basically like 'NO ONE BULLIES MY SISTER/SISTER FIGURE BUT ME')./lh
very interesting,,, I must get to writing right away!
BETA KIDS WITH OLDER SISTER FIGURE READER
these kids you met online,, stress you out. you love them with all of your heart but MY LORD do they have a shit ton going on
you're a few years older than them, they're all 13 except for john who has the only birthday NOT in december out of the 4 of them
they're very strange kids
Rose likes to think she stresses you out the least of the group, but honestly, it's John.
John has the most normal home life out of all of them,, you have to worry about him the least because his dad is there and cool. dad egbert the goat!
dave just nonchalantly talks about how his brother beats the shit out of him
rose is constantly having this weird beef with her alcoholic mother
jade is being raised by a dog..?
john's dad makes cake. one of these is not like the others
not that you don't have your own shit going on, but do you try not to trauma dump on random pre-teens on the internet
he's more tame than the others on some aspects, but he's still a troublemaker
even over the internet, he's still a prankster through and through
he'll act like he needs to ask you something super important and be all "are you sure you wont be mad,,," only to ask like "do you know the muffin man?" god DAMN IT JOHN ALL OF THAT OVER A SHREK REFERENCE?!
he comes to you the least with his issues which you chalk up to the fact his dad seems to be much more present in his life than the other kid's guardians are
he talks about how annoying or his dad is sometimes but it's much more tame to say- dave's bro
she tries to get you to vent to her
she claims to be the therapist of the group, 'diagnosing' her friends with things she's heard her mom talk about and using words you're 90% sure she doesn't even know the meaning of
she gets told she's mature for her age a lot because she's being neglected by her mother, and she takes that 'maturity' to heart, even though as the older person you can clearly see she's not really all that mature
you don't mention this to her obviously
you read over the stories she writes sometimes, and theyre honestly pretty interesting. you give her feedback if she asks for it, which is usually
he's probably the meanest and also the most protective towards you. he treats you like an actual sibling or almost a mom without even realizing it
he's 100% called you mom on accident before
Bantering with him is pretty fun most of the time, though he doesn't stop with the jokes if you're in a mood,, not that he does that totally on purpose, being through a screen and all
out of everybody dave has probably caused you to crash out the most
if he finds out somebody is harassing you either online or in real life though he will find them and harass them back for you "just because he likes fucking with people"
you keep up with sbahj to support him, he acts like he doesn't care but he appreciates it
she's really sweet! a strange kid, but so so kind
she's also more protective of you, but in less of an attacking people who mess with you directly way. she's much more likely to talk with you about how stupid and mean those people are
out of all the kids she makes you the least upset. she's the type to tell the others to stop when theyre being too much
you do worry about whether or not she has somebody taking care of her? she's mentioned a grandpa before but you aren't sure how active of a role he has in caring for her?
tried my best! this was fun to write!!
also im messing with html for colors,, as you can see
