Hella Long List of Safe Coping Skills
So, I got this amazing handout at a training with 84 coping skills to help increase safety and I thought I’d share:)
1. Ask for help- Reach out to someone safe
2. Inspire yourself- Carry something positive (e.g. poem), or negative (photo of a friend who overdosed)3. Leave a bad scene- When things go wrong, get out
4. Persist- Never, never, never, never, give up.
5. Honesty- Secrets and lying are at the core of self-harming behaviors; honesty heals them
6. Cry- Let yourself cry; it will not last forever
7. Choose self-respect- Choose whatever will make you like yourself tomorrow
8. Take good care of your body- Eat right, exercise, sleep, safe sex
9. List your options- In any situation, you have choices
10. Create meaning- Remind yourself what you are living for: your children, love? truth? justice? God?
11. Do the best you can with what you have- Make the most of available opportunities.
12. Set a boundary- Say “no” to protect yourself
13. Compassion- Listen to yourself with respect and care
14. When in doubt, do what’s hardest- The most difficult path is invariably the right one
15. Talk yourself through it- Self-talk helps in difficult times
16. Imagine- Create a mental picture that helps you feel different (e.g. remember a safe place)
17. Notice the choice point- In slow motion, notice the exact moment when you chose self-harm behaviors
18. Pace yourself- If overwhelmed, go slower; if stagnant, go faster
19. Stay safe- Do whatever you need to do to put your safety above all
20. Seek understanding, not blame- Listen to your behavior; blaming prevents growth
21. If one way doesn’t work, try another- As if in a maze, turn a corner and try a new path
22. Link PTSD (self harming behaviors) and substance abuse- Recognize substances as an attempt to self-medicate
23. Alone is better than a bad relationship- If only treaters are safe for now, that’s okay
24. Create a new story- You are the author of your life: be the hero who overcomes adversity
25. Avoid avoidable suffering- Prevent bad situations in advance
26. Ask others- Ask others if your belief is accurate
27. Get organized- You’ll feel more in control with lists, “to do’s” and a clean house
28. Watch for danger signs- Face a problem before it becomes huge; notice red flags
29. Healing above all- Focus on what matters
30. Try something, anything- A good plan today is better than a perfect one tomorrow
31. Discovery- Find out whether your assumption is true rather than staying “in your head”
32. Attend treatment- AA, self-help, therapy, medications, groups- anything that keeps you going
33. Create a buffer- Put something between you and danger (e.g. time, distance)
34. Say what you really think- You’ll feel closer to others (but only do this with safe people)
35. Listen to your needs- No more neglect- really hear what you need
36. Move toward your opposite- E.g. if you are too dependent, try being more independent
37. Replay the scene- Review a negative event: what can you do differently next time?
38. Notice the cost- What is the price of substance abuse/self harming behaviors in your life?
39. Structure your day- A productive schedule keeps you on track and connected to the world
40. Set an action plan- Be specific, set a deadline, and let others know about it
41. Protect yourself- Put up a shield against destructive people, bad environments, and substances
42. Soothing talk- Talk to yourself very gently (as if to a friend or small child)
