a random person

*legal* *she/her* a̶ p̶r̶o̶u̶d̶ m̶o̶n̶s̶t̶e̶r̶ f̶u̶c̶k̶e̶r̶ I VENT HERE

[greelin]

you can never escape a weird little freak that loves you

[greelin]

this was meant to be romantic but now i’m realizing it reads more like. a threat

[sairusboom]

[knitmeapony]

I'm at a diner for breakfast. There's a post-club girl here in yesterday's makeup and sweats. Her friend says "Oh my God it's the 31st." This girl lifts her head off the table and says '..... of what?'

[knitmeapony]

The friend orders her breakfast. Recovery girl just kind of stares at the menu.

Friend: ".... She'll have breakfast potatoes and wheat toast."

The waitress looks so sympathetic and brings them more water.

[knitmeapony]

I get the feeling that this is a first week of college, freshly 21 thing. They are discussing going to the Dollar Tree for painkillers and Gatorade like it's a long walk to Mordor.

I need y'all to know that the Dollar Tree is across the street.

[knitmeapony]

Recovery girl is eating potatoes with a spoon and her cheek still on the table. It is a Process. All of a sudden she sits up and declares that "Kermit needs new water."

It's unclear who that is, but her friend is very patiently convincing her that Kermit can get new water after Recovery Girl finishes *her* water.

While I was typing this it became somewhat clear that Kermit is a fish? Or some other aquatic pet.

[knitmeapony]

As I'm heading out, Recovery Girl is convincing her friend that she can "definitely handle a cheeseburger."

May we all have a friend like hers, steadfastly reminding us "you're a vegetarian, babe" in our darkest hours.

[daisybeats]

So funny story.

I work for a financial institution and have a pretty senior position, but I still have to do a lot of 'training'

Every quarter we have to do 'IT training' that's basically 'dont open phishing emails, don't give out personal information of our clients' and 'everything you do can be tracked, including internet usage and we can read your emails and teams whenever we want.'

Have at it.

I've worked there seven years and they've never once said anything about me reading the news, AO3, Google docs, anything. So I figure 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm fine. They block all social media, but never blocked AO3.

Cut to today.

There are exactly two people in the company I like.

I'm outside decompressing with said two people as we do for 15 minutes at the end of everyday before we go home to our families. Kinda like wiping away the ick of the day.

IT guy: so what's ao3?

Me: what?! Why would you ask me that?

IT: because outside of sites related to your job, that's your most visited website

Me: you guys actually track that?!

IT: yeah we just don't give a shit. Unless you're being audited or investigated we don't give two fucks. So what's ao3?

My other friend is laughing her ass off.

Friend: OH MY GOD ISN'T THAT WHERE YOU READ YOUR WEREWOLF PORN?!

IT: enough said. Hope it's good at least.

Y'all my emo ass, skinny jeans and DC wearing IT guy knows I read/write werewolf porn on the clock and basically said godspeed.

[daisybeats]

!!!!! update!!!!

we have a security audit in 2 weeks and he said he scrubbed my ao3 life from my work PC but I'm free to continue after said audit.

Hes the fucking realest

[7nessasaryevils]

IM FUCKING CACKLING

[zarla-s]

@cooperationiskey has this adorable little thing called Teeny Towers where you can make and collect little rooms for a tower you can put on your site. I always thought it was such a cute idea so I finally sat down and made some rooms! I need to actually set up a page for my tower still...

[patreon]

[zarla-s]

MADE SOME MORE

[lorraine-j]

On the 14th of March

うつぐよとしんだんされた

[queersona]

therapist: cunt dracula is not real and cannot fuck you.

cunt dracula:

[queersona]

[jojo pose] count dracula. [different jojo pose] nice to meet you. [jojo walk cycle] alexa, turn down the music! [the obnoxious music doesn't change volume] mr harker

[virtualgirladvance]

Cuntula

[mysticalalleycat]

[theastonishingavengers]

For my Baldurs Gate fans: look what I just found

[pandaladieartblog]

I could try to explain myself, but… would you believe I’ve never even read Naruto?

[ianwaite]

@hprecfest

Day 14: a fic rated T

Digging for the Bones by Paganaidd

Sorry, it's only accessible for people with an AO3 account.

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Rather than allowing Harry to stay at Diagon Alley after he blew up Aunt Marge, the Ministry sends Harry back to the Dursleys. Harry returns to school after a terrible summer, to find that he's not the only one with this kind of secret. A student has been killed by his family. New screening measures are put into place by the Ministry: Every student must be given a medical exam and interview to look for child abuse. With Dumbledore facing an inquiry, Snape is entrusted with the task of making sure EVERYONE receives one.

and he does ... and SO much happens, it was incredible and very satisfying to read!

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Words: 203,178 Be aware of the additional tags, please!

Unfortunately, this marvellous work has remained unfinished, even though it says it is complete, it leaves many questions unanswered. I doubt the author is still active, but I hope he/she/them finds a way back to this masterpiece at some point and fill all the unanswered thoughts with content.

Unfortunately the comment function has been deactivated, so I put my open questions in my Bookmark on AO3 and here now:

SPOILER

(How does Severus know about Harry's cloak?, What about Severus' inheritance?, Will the 'Uncle' trick work?, Will Harry stay with him?, Did Sev really lose part of his soul when he helped Ginny? Where did it go and why did Minerva scream?, ...)

SPOILER END

[januariat]

this thread on twitter is fucking killing me

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

IT GETS BETTER

.

[seimsisk]

lmao prev

[mengfm]

virgin who died so konoha could exist

[animepopheart]

★ 【硝子鳥】 「 創設期① 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me! insta • x • bsky

[fineillsignup]

Smartphone Tobirama #02,  by HANA✿, translated by me with permission in honour of @madatobiweek Day 2: Alternate Universe.

[lorraine-j]

Tonight

I was made aware that I am too far away that if anything were to happen to my loved ones, not only is there anything I can do about it, but that I can't even be there for them.

I cried for ten minutes straight and I still am.

[lorraine-j]

18 year olds are not children

There is a reason why 18 is the legal age

[lorraine-j]

Angst or Fluff

Both makes my heart hurt

[lorraine-j]

Body heavy

No energy

M sick i think

[lorraine-j]

Why must real life be so painful

Oh well

If anyone needs me I'll be drowning in fantasies of the good times