AVI I GOT CUTENESS AGRESSION WTF THEY ARE SO AWKARD TO THE POINT THAT ITS SO CUTE OMG CATASTROPHE IS THE REASON IM STILL GOING TODAY #ilycatastrophe
anyways so imagining that like juhoon and Camille are pisces and gemini they are sooo these lyrics of drop dead like I just think of them y'know
also had the biggest deja vu before starting to read bc I remembered that one time u said that for second place syndrome they were so high school by taylor swift coded like second place syndrome will always have a special place in my heart I love it sb
anyways take care of urself avi and good luck on ur exams!!
praying that my cortis albums finally arrive since apparently shipping's in preparation
GIAAA MY LOVE I KNEW YOU WOULD GET ME, I WAS WAITING FOR THIS
catastrophe carrying people through the week WE UPPPPP 😭🙏 #ilovecatastrophetoo
i posted that note knowing you would get me, and bro frfr theyre so drop dead coded, like the upcoming scenes are even more drop dead coded UGHH I CAN'T WAIT TO UPLOAD THEM but like i'm also very picky with my writing so 👉👈
ALSO SPS MENTIONED 🗣️🗣️🗣️ no bc that fic is literally my firstborn. my pride and joy. i get so happy every time someone remembers it
aww you too !! but like i kinda took a leave today so i didn't have to write that chem exam, no but like i'm actually sick but it's bearable sick though so i'm pulling through
manifesting the cortis album into your hands as we speak (update me)
★: hiii guys, uploading finallyy omg i've been procrastinating sm and the writer's block lwk standing outside my door fahh💔ALSO SOMEONE GET IT BUT ISN'T STUPID SONG AND DROP DEAD SO JUHOON-CAMILLE CODED AAAAAAAAAAA and like keshi's soft spot is so juhoon coded, please somebody get me or i'll start crying.
prev part : next part
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
the sixth coincidence.
The reactions had gone about as well as expected.
Which was to say, horribly.
Moka had stared at her for approximately three seconds before starting to scream. Y/N had stared at her for approximately ten.
The latter had somehow been worse.
Camille had spent twenty minutes trying to explain that she and Juhoon were fake dating and another twenty trying to explain why she had said Juhoon's name in the first place. Nobody had accepted any of her explanations.
At one point Moka had actually pointed at her and said, "See, this is why I don't trust people."
“What did I do?”
“You accidentally acquired a boyfriend.”
“Fake boyfriend.”
“See? You're doing it again.”
The conversation had deteriorated from there. By eleven thirty, Camille had escaped to her room under the guise of being tired. This was technically true. She had experienced enough embarrassment in one day to power a small city.
Camille shut the door behind her with relief. The room was blissfully quiet. No Moka. No questions. No one saying the words ‘fake boyfriend’ with entirely too much enthusiasm.
She changed into an old university hoodie, washed her face, brushed her teeth, and attempted to convince herself that her life had not become significantly more complicated. The attempt failed.
By the time she collapsed onto her bed, all she wanted was eight uninterrupted hours of sleep and perhaps temporary amnesia. Her phone lit up on the bedside table. With a sigh, she reached over and picked it up. The notification made her blink. And then, despite herself, smile fondly.
juhoon:
hey
camille:
yes?
juhoon:
we should meet tomorrow to discuss our fraudulent activities
camille:
no
juhoon:
okay
camille:
wait
not okay
juhoon:
?
camille:
why did you agree that fast
juhoon:
you said no??
camille:
yeah but you were supposed to fight for us
juhoon:
us 😭
camille:
don't piss me off
juhoon:
mb mb
camille:
i need you to understand this is not a normal situation for me
juhoon:
it is also not normal for me
camille:
wrong
you're chill
juhoon:
i'm literally involved in your lie
camille:
but like emotionally you're weirdly stable in this
juhoon:
i don't know if that's a compliment
camille:
it's not
juhoon:
okay
camille:
anyway i keep forgetting you exist as my boyfriend and then remembering and wanting to die
juhoon:
that's new
camille:
it's not new it's recurring
juhoon:
how many times
camille:
like 6
juhoon:
that's impressive
camille:
don't praise me
juhoon:
i'm not
camille:
you're smiling through the screen
i can feel it
juhoon:
👍
camille:
get that thumb out of my face
juhoon:
anyway meet tomorrow
camille:
bro you're like a dog with a bone
juhoon:
i don't think that's the saying
camille:
wtv
we need relationship lore
juhoon:
wow relationship lore
we have reached levels of fraud previously thought impossible
camille:
realest shit have i ever heard
juhoon:
tmr 6, bookstore cafe?
camille:
sure
juhoon:
👍
camille:
oh brother
juhoon:
what
camille:
this mf
juhoon:
?
camille:
every time
EVERY TIME
juhoon:
what did i do
camille:
i pour my heart out
i bare my soul
i share my deepest fears
and this bitch hits me with the 👍
juhoon:
okay
camille:
goodnight juhoon, i hope both sides of your pillow are warm.
—------------
The next morning arrived far too early. Camille became aware of consciousness in stages.
First came the sunlight.
Then the uncomfortable realization that sunlight implied morning.
Then the even more uncomfortable realization that morning implied responsibilities.
She kept her eyes closed. Perhaps if she ignored the problem long enough, it would leave. To her dismay, the problem remained.
Sunlight filtered through the dorm window. It slid in through the thin dorm curtains and settled over the desk, the chair, the pile of clothes she had abandoned there last night. Her blanket had somehow wrapped itself around her legs during the night. The room was pleasantly cool everywhere except the patch of sunlight stretching across her bed.
Somewhere down the hall, a door slammed. A burst of laughter followed. Then the muffled sound of someone complaining in a voice that suggested they had been wronged by the morning.
Camille stayed still for a second longer, one arm draped over her face, listening.
There was something peaceful about the first few seconds after waking up. Peaceful in the sense that reality had not fully caught up yet and was still deciding whether to bother her today. She believed that it was the perfect in-between.
With a sigh, Camille finally pushed herself upright. Her hair immediately fell into her face.She moved toward the bathroom, shoulders still heavy with sleep.
Camille stared at her reflection for a second.
Her hair was doing something unhelpful. Her face looked exactly like it felt: half-awake, mildly annoyed, and not ready for the kind of day where she would have to look Juhoon in the eye and pretend this whole thing had not already become the most ridiculous item on her list of responsibilities.
The shower helped, as it usually did, though mostly in the sense that warm water made the world feel temporarily less hostile. Steam softened the glass. By the time she got out of the shower, she had let her thoughts drift into useless little circles.
Camille stood in front of the wardrobe and stared into it for far too long. After trying on several outfits, she decided on a striped fitted shirt and jeans. She was adjusting her cuff when she heard Moka say:
“I think I'd become evil if I had money.”
“You already become evil when you have twenty dollars.” Y/N says without looking up
“Exactly. Imagine if I had billions.”
“You'd be dead within six months.”
“What?”
“You'd buy a submarine.”
“I would NOT.”
“You absolutely would.”
“I literally wouldn't.”
Camille finally looks up, “You bought an air fryer because it looked lonely.”
Moka freezes. “...That feels unrelated.”
“It isn't.”
“You named it.”
“It needed a name.”
“YOU NAMED IT.”
“Kevin gets nervous.”
“Oh my God.” Y/N looks up at Moka
“Okay but what's your billionaire scandal then?”
“I wouldn't have one.” Her answer comes fast, fast enough it makes Camille chuckle.
“You absolutely would.” Moka defended
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Y/N points. “Okay. Name one scandal I would do.”
“You know how rich people fund research?”
“No.”
“You're already defensive.”
“I'm not.”
“You'd fund some weird penguin study.”
“I WOULD NOT.”
“You absolutely would.”
Camille was now very invested. She set down her makeup and focused on the rest of the explanation Moka had come up with.
“No, because imagine opening the news. ‘Local graduate student receives thirty million dollars to investigate whether penguins experience workplace drama.’”
Camille folds forward laughing.
“THAT'S NOT A THING.” Y/N tried to defend herself.
“How do you know?”
“Because they're PENGUINS.”
Camille climbs onto Moka's bed.
“No, because imagine being a penguin. You show up to work.”
“What work?”
“Penguin work.”
“THAT'S NOT A REAL JOB.”
“Maybe not to you.”
Camille was already losing it.
“You show up and you see Gary.”
“Who the fuck is Gary?”
“The penguin.”
“There wasn't a Gary.”
“There is now. Anyway, Gary stole your fish."
“What?”
"Gary stole your fish."
“Okay?”
“You hate him. And then some random researcher is taking notes.”
Moka pretends to type. “‘Subject appears engaged in interpersonal conflict.’”
Camille immediately joins in, “‘Potential fish-related power struggle.’”
“‘Gary remains a bitch.’”
The rest of the day passed in fragments. Camille spent most of it moving from one building to another.
A lecture in a room so cold it felt personally targeted. Another in a classroom with broken blinds that let sunlight hit her in the eyes for an hour straight. A seminar where one guy raised his hand every five minutes and somehow managed to say absolutely nothing each time.
University, in other words.
By lunchtime the campus was crowded.
Students drifted between buildings in clusters. Music leaked from somebody’s speaker near the fountain. A group of first-years sat on the grass.
Camille ate lunch with Moka and Y/N.
By three o’clock, Camille was in the library. By four, she was pretending to work. By four-thirty, she was actually working, mostly out of guilt.
Outside the windows, the afternoon slowly softened into evening.
Weak sunlight stretched across the floor between the shelves. Conversations grew quieter. Students started packing up their things. Camille always loved this time of the day.
Camille finished the last paragraph of her notes and glanced at the time.
5:08.
At 5:27 she gave up. She packed her bag, slipped her notebook inside, and headed out.
The bookstore wasn’t far from campus. The walk took about ten minutes.
The evening air was pleasant. Warm enough that nobody needed a jacket, cool enough that walking felt nice. The sidewalks were busy with students, commuters, and people who were in a rush to keep up with their schedules.
The bookstore came into view near the end of the street.
Large windows.
Warm lights.
The familiar sign hanging above the entrance.
Camille pushed open the door. A small bell chimed overhead. The scent of coffee and paper hit immediately.
Something about bookstores always felt quieter than they actually were. Conversations became softer. Movements slowed down. Even the sounds of cups being set down seemed gentler.
She ordered an iced latte and claimed a table near the back.
Then she checked the time.
5:46.
Camille stared at the screen when the bell above the door chimed. She looked up automatically and there he was.
Juhoon stepped inside, paused just long enough for the door to swing shut behind him. The bell above the entrance was still settling into silence when his gaze moved until it landed on her.
“You’re early, catastrophe.” he said as he settled into the chair across her.
Camille moved her bag off the table and on to her lap. “Oh, yeah…Being early and waiting seemed more tempting than studying, so.”
That earned a chuckle from him, “Right, you still have to do that.”
“Absolutely no need to rub it in my face like that.”
“I wasn’t rubbing it in,” he said, leaning back slightly. “I was just..recollecting that fact.”
Camille narrowed her eyes at him before deciding to drop it, which felt like a bad decision because she didn’t know what else to say. She spoke after a long silence.
“So, uh, how was work?”
“Work?” Juhoon echoed, trying to suppress his amusement.
“You don’t need to laugh at that, you jerk.” she said, rolling her eyes.
Juhoon leaned back in his chair. “Anyway, we should probably start…brainstorming?”
She cleared her throat once.
Right. Fake dating. Relationship lore. Fraudulent activities.
“Uhm okay, let’s start with how we met.”
“What about the same thing but a little tweaked? Childhood friends. Lost contact. Met again here.”
Camille blinked. “That was… suspiciously smooth.”
A beat.
She tapped the table once. “Then at the bookstore café. I’m reading. You show up, pretend you don’t see me.”
Juhoon nodded. “That’s believable.”
Camille continued. “Then we start talking again.”
He added, “We text that night.”
Camille nodded. “Just a ‘what are you doing now’ that somehow turns into five hours of talking about nothing important.”
“Then again the next day.”
“And the next.”
He leaned back slightly. “We meet here again.”
Camille looked around the café like it was suddenly part of the story instead of just furniture. “And it becomes… our place.”
Juhoon hummed. “Regular spot.”
Camille tapped the table lightly. “And then we actually start dating for real, right?”
Juhoon didn’t answer immediately, just looked at her.
“…Yeah,” he said finally. “That’s good. Seems believable.”
“Classic us.”
There was a brief pause before Camille narrowed her eyes. “Who confessed?”
“You did,” he replied immediately.
Camille snapped her head up. “Excuse you, I would never.”
“You would be more believable as the impulsive one.”
“I am not impulsive.”
“You told someone I was your boyfriend.”
“I think that falls into that category of ‘survival instinct’.”
“That’s impulsive.”
Camille leaned back. “No. I think YOU confessed.”
“That doesn’t sound accurate.”
“It’s vibes, you know?”
“I don’t think that’s a category.”
“It is now.”
Juhoon exhaled. “Fine. I confessed.”
“Good. I knew you had it in you.”
“I didn’t.”
“What else do we need?” Camille took a sip of her coffee as she thought.
The crowd had become thicker now, with more people coming in as the sky turned gray. There was a steady bustle, with the thick smell of coffee and that comforting smell every bookstore had.
“Maybe an anniversary date?” Juhoon suggested.
“Right. How do we get that?”
He shrugged, “Just pick a date from the last month.”
After a few minutes of arguing, they decide on October 13th. Mostly because Camille had found it a ‘pretty’ date and because the others Juhoon suggested weren’t ‘actual’ dates.
Juhoon gave a tiny shrug, like he was already regretting agreeing to any of this. “Good. Now we need the rules.”
That pulled her attention right back. She straightened in her chair, “Right. Rules. Because apparently we are now running a fully licensed fraud operation.”
“We are not calling it that.”
“Too late. It has a name now.”
He looked at her, expression flat but eyes very amused. “Have you ever been normal for one minute, catastrophe?”
“No.”
That was enough to get them both properly into it. Camille reached for her drink.
“Okay,” she said, “rule one. We need to know what we’re allowed to do in public.”
Juhoon paused. “So like PDA?”
“...I guess?”
“Okay, tell me what you’re comfortable with.”
Camille suppressed the weird feeling in her stomach and said, “Okay maybe… handholding? For public. That’s fine right?”
Then immediately regretted having a mouth.
Juhoon looked at her for like half a second. Then just nodded. “Yeah. That’s good with me, catastrophe.”
No hesitation. No debate. Just accepted it like it was on a checklist.
Camille went very still.
“…cool,” she said, way too quickly. Like she had not just offered her entire nervous system for inspection.
She reached for her drink immediately, because suddenly the table was very interesting and her brain had decided to pack up and leave. Handholding. Normal thing. Extremely normal. People did it. Frequently.
Juhoon, meanwhile, was just sitting there like this was all very reasonable. “So handholding is allowed.”
“Yep,” Camille said, voice slightly delayed, like it had to travel through traffic.
“Okay.”
That one word. Okay.
Camille nodded again, a little too hard. “Okay.”
And then she had absolutely nothing else to say, which was criminal considering she usually had too many opinions about everything. So she just stared at her drink like it might start talking first.
Juhoon glanced at her once, like he noticed the pause, then didn’t comment. Just leaned back slightly. “Next rule?”
Camille blinked. Still mildly buffering.
“…yeah,” she managed. “Next rule.”
“You have to meet my parents, every two weeks.”
“What?”
“Mhm.”
“Don’t mhm me.”
“Deal’s a deal, catastrophe.”
“You fucking suck.”
Juhoon hummed. “Good. Then we should probably think about telling people.”
That made her look up. Not in a dramatic way. More like the sentence had simply wandered into the room and sat down.
“Yeah,” she said after a beat.
They both went quiet for a second, not because it was awkward, just because it was one of those things that suddenly felt real enough to take up space. Camille poked at her drink, then glanced at him. “I mean, we could do the whole soft launch thing.”
Juhoon nodded like he had already been circling the same thought. “Letting people connect the dots.”
“So we’d basically be telling people without telling people.”
“Exactly.”
She looked at him, then let out a tiny breath that was almost a laugh. “That is so stupid.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay. I kind of like it.”
Juhoon smiled. “I knew you would.”
Camille pretended not to notice that and sat up a little straighter. “What kind of post though? Because if we do this, it cannot be cringe.”
“Agreed.”
“Like no giant paragraph. No ‘so grateful for this person’ nonsense.”
“No.”
“And no weird hand photo with fifty hearts.”
He glanced at her. “That was never on the table.”
“Good. Because I would have denied knowing you.”
That got the smallest laugh out of him, and Camille, annoyingly, felt that in her ribs for no good reason. She looked back down at her drink, then said, quieter, “Maybe just something normal. Café picture. Something where people can see us and go oh.”
Juhoon nodded once, already on the same page. “That works.”
Camille stared at him for a second, then gave a tiny nod of her own. “Okay. That feels less stupid.”
“Still stupid,” he said.
“Yeah,” she admitted. “But less.”
They got to work quickly. Work as in Camille had taken over his phone and taken a photo of herself, only half of her visible, her face turned away from the camera, the bustling bookstore behind her. Row of books behind her, and her coffee in front of her. Juhoon stay simply watching, he knew better not to interrupt her, so he happily sipped his coffee.
Camille handed him the phone after she decided on a picture from the ten she took and told him that the rest was ‘up to him’.
Juhoon looked down at it. Then at her. “Up to me how?”
“Caption. Posting. Whatever people do.”
He hummed, thumb hovering over the screen. “You’re not supervising?”
“I refuse. I have dignity.”
He opened the gallery. Stopped at the one she picked. Simple. Café light doing most of the work.
“Don’t make it weird,” she added, softer this time.
“I won’t.”
She picked up her phone and started scrolling pleasantly.
Juhoon stared at the picture for a few minutes. Then typed something, then scrolled to find music. Finally, when he was done, he looked at Camille and showed her the story like a small child showing his mother a drawing.
Camille stared at the phone. The photo she took stared back at her, on which Juhoon had typed:
“soft launch?
@camillemntrl ❤️”
Music played from the phone’s speakers. She recognised the song instantly. Superpowers by Daniel Caesar. Her stomach did somersaults inside her body.
She just stared at him. For a long second, the café noise filled the gap where her thoughts used to be.
Juhoon tilted his head slightly. “Too much?”
Camille looked back at the screen. The caption. The tag. The stupid little heart. The song like it had been carefully selected to ruin her entire ability to act normal.
Then she sighed.
“…no,” she admitted, quieter. “It’s actually kind of perfect.”
Juhoon nodded once, like that was the only acceptable outcome and hit upload.
And Camille, against all her earlier rules about dignity and emotional stability, just went back to scrolling her phone like nothing in the world had changed.
AVI U LIKE OLIVIA TOO I LITERALLY SHED TEARS WHILE LISTENING TO LESS AND THE WHOLE ALBUM THIS MORNING OMG.
been waiting for the album forever super happy it's here and believe me it's gonna be on repeat forever too. anyways what's ur favorite song🫰🏻
I LOVELOVELOVE OLIVIA, I LITERALLY LIVE LOVE LAUGH LIV ATP
and same tbhh i’ve had it on repeat for so long spotify gon have to pay ME (idk how that works either), she literally released aoty omg. this album got me going around acting like i got lore 😹✌🏻
AND LESS GOT YOUR ASS TOO? and i keep changing my favourite song every five mins i wish i was joking😭
i swear every song comes on and i'm like "oh this is definitely my favourite" and then the next track starts and suddenly, i'm a liar
ask me again in a week when i've recovered emotionally from the album 💔 but wbu?
lwk joined the Ticketmaster queue for cortis as a joke bc I'm not going and there are like 500k plus people for new york sos my lowest number was 24k for Canada feeling super proud of myself
also how did u spend ur bday yesterday I hope u had an amazing day 🫰🏻
HII GIAA
lmfaoo you should feel proud of yourselff, and omgg it was so fun, my sister invited a few of my close friends and like she put up such cute decorations and stuff it was so 🥹🥹🥹
and like i got so many cute giftss aaaa im so happy but i also have that exam today so wish me luck :(
AVI JUST SAW UR POST HAPPY BDAY I HOPE YOU HAVE AN AMAZING DAY FILLED WITH LOTS OF LOVE FROM EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND I HOPE EVERYONE GIVES U THE BIGGEST HUGS EVER CAUSE UR AMAZING and well since I can't.... WTV ITS UR DAY AND I HOPE IT GOES PERFECT (also got super scared at ur post that ur sixteen wdym it's still like 2 pm of Tuesday for me.. timezones are rlly weird)
I'll lwk send you a gift somehow so if something arrives at ur door well it's from me (jk)
ANYWAYS HAPPY BDAY AND I HOPE YOU HAVE THE SWEETEST SIXTEEN BDAY OF ALL CAUSE U DESERVE IT
AAAAAAAA THANKYOU SO MUCH OMG, omg this is so sweet wtf gia
everyone’s been showering me with sm love and it makes me so 🥹🥹🥹🥹 iykwim and it’s literally only been 6 in the morning
but like thank youu sm (mwah) and the others who wished me too, YOU GUYS ARE THE SWEETEST 😽
how did I not know that there was another part of itip out avi I'm lwk blind but wtv. anyways catastrophe is back and I loved every single bit of it mwah (I indeed was smiling like an idiot while reading it) 🫰🏻 fr tho the other I was watching a random video on yt and the girl said something abt catastrophe and well u already know what I thought abt.
on the other handd, party situation. so my I texted my friend that I wasn't gonna go y'know since I'm still sick and all that and my friend told her that her parents didn't want her to go or something and guess what we both got left on seen! I've been in bed all day wondering what my friend told my other friend abt the party y'know but I can't since "no phones at school" 😓
I should use little acronyms or something for my friends' names I'm starting to confuse myself lol
HIHII GIA i missed seeing you in my inbox (even though you sent me one two days back or something but wtvv)
AHSKDJMEO that makes so so unimaginably happy. please let me come give you a hug, and I’M SO GLAD you enjoyed last part cause i was lwk wondering if it was good cause idk it felt off but i’m happy it made you smile :)
i think the fact that you thought about itip when you heard ‘catastrophe’ means that it’s really good and HSJZHEUS please i’m crying tears of joyy fuckk
ahh yes, the Party Situation™. leaving you on seen is kinda😭😭 but like atleast you got out of it, right?
also update me on your weverse package arrival pleasee i’m so curious abt the pc you’ll pull 👀
Martin's face underwent approximately six different emotional stages in three seconds after hearing that.
Confusion.
Horror.
Understanding.
Delight.
More delight.
Then a level of excitement that should've required government authorization.
His chips hit the floor. "YOU WHAT?"
"There it is," James said quietly.
"I panicked."
"YOU PANICKED INTO A RELATIONSHIP?"
"Not a relationship,” Camille said weakly. “A boyfriend."
Martin pointed violently at Juhoon. "THAT IS A RELATIONSHIP."
"Not necessarily."
"CAMILLE."
"IT WAS AN EMERGENCY."
"You can't just assign boyfriends during emergencies!"
"I didn't assign him."
"Wait, so you told him you had a boyfriend."
"Correct."
"You don't have a boyfriend."
"Also correct."
"You said Juhoon."
"Correct."
Martin pointed at her.
Then at Juhoon.
Then back at her.
His finger moved between them like he was trying to explain an impossible crime scene.
"WITHOUT CONSULTING HIM?"
"I WAS UNDER PRESSURE."
"YOU COMMITTED IDENTITY THEFT."
"THAT'S NOT WHAT IDENTITY THEFT IS."
"IT FEELS RELATED."
Camille groaned and fell into the nearest chair. The cushions. The chair creaked in protest beneath the sudden impact.
Once she started talking, the entire disaster spilled out after that.
Joshua.
The walk.
The increasingly suspicious sincerity.
The horrible realization.
The approaching confession.
The panic.
The lie.
Every terrible decision in chronological order.
By the end, James was rubbing his forehead. "So let me get this straight." he looked at her from his seat.
"No."
"You were alone."
"Yes."
"Joshua was about to confess."
"Probably."
"Definitely."
"Probably."
"Definitely."
Camille waved a hand. “Continue."
James inhaled. Then pointed at her.
"AND YOUR SOLUTION."
"Oh, God."
"WAS TO LOOK AT YOUR PHONE."
"Unfortunately."
"SEE JUHOON'S NAME."
"Unfortunately."
"AND IMMEDIATELY GO."
He pointed dramatically towards him.
"'THAT ONE.'"
James made a strangled noise and nearly dropped his mug.
Camille buried her face in her hands.
"When you say it like that-"
"HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY IT?"
"His was the first name I saw."
"That is not helping your case."
"YOU CHOSE HIM LIKE A POKÉMON." Martin sounded close to bursting into tears of joy.
"HE WAS AVAILABLE."
"AVAILABLE?"
Juhoon stared at Camille, "I really dislike that word."
James was laughing so hard he had to sit down.
"No, because imagine being Juhoon."
"Please don't."
"You're at HOME."
"Yeah." Juhoon chimed in.
"Existing."
"Yeah."
"Eating cereal."
"I wasn't eating cereal."
"Doesn't matter."
“My bad?”
“UNEMPLOYED from boyfriend duties.”
“That sounded a lot like an insult.”
"And suddenly somewhere across the city somebody is like-" James pointed dramatically.
"'Yeah that's my man.'"
Camille dropped her face into her hands.
"I hate every single one of you."
Juhoon let out a long sigh from across the room. He closed his eyes for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose as if trying to process the disaster Camille had casually dropped into everyone's evening.
When he finally opened them, his expression had settled into something resigned.
Without a word, he crossed the until he stopped in front of Camille. His hand hovered briefly before he took hers.
"Come with me."
Martin was already halfway off the couch.
"WAIT."
"No."
"WAIT."
"No."
James had dissolved into laughter. He was bent over the kitchen counter now, one hand bracing himself while the other covered his face.
"Don't take her away," Martin complained dramatically. "We just got the plot."
"You've had enough plot."
"We absolutely have not."
Camille dragged a hand down her face. "I hate this family."
"We're not a family," Juhoon replied immediately.
"We practically are."
Martin pointed accusingly at both of them.
"YOU CAN'T LEAVE NOW."
"We can."
"YOU JUST DROPPED A FAKE BOYFRIEND REVEAL."
"Exactly why we're leaving."
"THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME."
Juhoon didn't even acknowledge him.
Still holding Camille's wrist, he guided her down the hallway while Martin's outraged protests followed behind them.
"You're acting like I committed a crime," Camille muttered.
"You kind of did."
"It was one lie."
"It involved me."
Behind them, Martin made a deeply wounded noise.
"JAMES."
"Yeah?"
"They're taking the content."
"I know."
"This is censorship."
"I know."
By the time they reached Juhoon's room, Martin was already on their heels.
Juhoon opened the door.
Camille barely had time to step inside before he shut it directly in Martin's face.
A loud knock followed.
Then another.
"MAYBE JUST LEAVE IT OPEN A LITTLE?"
"No."
"FOR SCIENCE."
"No."
"FOR FRIENDSHIP."
"No."
A dramatic sigh echoed from the other side. Juhoon ignored him completely.
The room finally fell quiet. Or at least quiet compared to the chaos outside.
Camille glanced around as she stepped further inside.
Juhoon's room was exactly what she would've expected.
Clean.
The bed sat neatly against one wall, dark gray blankets folded with military precision. A desk occupied the space beneath the window, messily organized. Books stood in rows on the shelves above it. Earphones lying on his desk. A coat laid out on the bed.
There was a collection of small personal touches scattered throughout the room.
A framed photo of his family.
Polaroids of the five of them.
A few concert tickets.
And, sitting near the window in a large glass tank, was Choco.
The turtle was currently perched on a smooth rock beneath a warm lamp, looking profoundly unconcerned about the ongoing social catastrophe.
The tiny reptile blinked slowly.
Camille pointed.
"At least someone here has his life together."
Juhoon glanced over.
"Choco absolutely does not."
As if on cue, the turtle slipped off the rock and splashed into the water.
Camille chuckled.
Juhoon finally leaned back against his desk, folding his arms across his chest.
Camille dropped onto the edge of his bed. The mattress dipped beneath her weight.
Inside, there was peace. Or at least as much peace as two people could manage after Camille’s great decisions.
For the first time all evening there was nobody yelling.
Nobody interrogating them.
Nobody turning Camille's life into a source of entertainment.
Camille looked down at her hands. "...Sorry."
Juhoon raised an eyebrow. "You mean that?"
"A little."
"A little?"
"A medium amount."
He laughed quietly.
Victory. Tiny victory.
Camille relaxed slightly.
"I genuinely didn't mean to drag you into this."
"I know, catastrophe."
"Do you?"
Juhoon studied her.
Really studied her.
He studied the exhaustion under her eyes, the tension in her shoulders, the way she kept rubbing her forehead like she was trying to erase the entire day.
"You look like you've been chased across the city."
"I basically have."
His expression softened. "How bad is it?"
Camille immediately dropped her face into her hands.
"Potentially catastrophic."
"What happens now?"
Camille groaned louder. "That's the problem."
Neither of them had an answer.
The room grew quiet.
Outside, Martin could still be heard speaking passionately to an audience that no longer existed.
Inside, Choco paddled lazily through his tank. The gentle sound of water filled the silence.
Juhoon's gaze drifted toward the floor, thinking. .
When he finally spoke, it was careful. Like he was testing the idea before fully committing to it.
"What if we don't fix it?"
Camille looked up.
"What?"
"What if we just keep lying?"
"What?"
"Temporarily."
"What?"
"I mean, you’ve already committed to it"
"JUHOON."
"I'm serious."
"Why are you serious?"
"Because."
For the first time all evening, he looked slightly uncomfortable. The confidence disappeared. He rubbed the back of his neck. Avoided eye contact. Then sighed.
"My parents think something's going on."
Camille blinked.
"...What?"
"My mother saw me smiling at my phone."
The room went completely silent.
Even Choco seemed to stop moving.
Camille stared at him.
Then burst out laughing.
"No."
"Yes."
"That's ridiculous."
"I know."
"You got investigated for smiling?"
"I got interrogated for smiling."
Camille laughed harder.
"My family has been on to me for a while. My love life is of great interest to them."
"That's the funniest thing I've ever heard."
"It wasn't funny for me."
Another laugh escaped her. Juhoon waited patiently for her to finish. When she finally calmed down, he looked at her seriously.
"Help me with my parents."
The laughter faded.
Slowly.
"And I'll help you with Joshua."
Camille stared. She had certainly not come here expecting that sentence to come out of his mouth. She kept quiet as nervousness slowly creeped back into her.
"Until things calm down."
The room seemed smaller suddenly. The proposal hung between them.
Camille stared at him. Juhoon stared back.
Across the room, Choco resurfaced with a tiny splash, entirely unaware that two humans were actively considering making their lives significantly more complicated.
Finally, Camille groaned.
"This is a horrible plan."
"I agree."
Neither of them looked away which was probably the first warning sign.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“If it’s with you, I think I can pull it off.”
Juhoon smiled, small and hopeless, unable to contain it. “Good.”
“Good?”
“I’d be worried if it was anyone else, catastrophe.”
Camille felt something strange in her stomach before deciding to ignore it.
"You seem suspiciously calm about it." She observed.
He considered that before shrugging. "I don't know."
"What do you mean you don't know?"
"It could be worse."
Camille stared at him. "It could be worse?"
"Yeah."
"Juhoon."
"What?"
"I lied about dating you."
"I noticed."
"I accidentally involved you in a social catastrophe."
"Also noticed."
"I showed up at your apartment unannounced."
"You would do that."
"I have never done that."
"You absolutely would."
"You're being weirdly nice about this."
Juhoon looked down for a second. Then back at her.
"I don't think you're the kind of person who would've done it if you had another option."
The answer arrived so quickly that it made Camille surprised. Because he didn’t say it like he was joking or making her feel better, he simply just believed it.
Five minutes later, Camille was standing by the front door.
Martin had attempted three separate interrogations. James had encouraged all of them. Neither had learned anything useful. Juhoon walked her downstairs.
The evening air felt cooler now.
"Well."
"Well."
Camille sighed.
"This is probably a terrible idea."
"Definitely."
"And we're going to regret it."
"Almost certainly."
"Good."
"Good."
A smile appeared on both their faces simultaneously.
Camille adjusted the strap of her bag before hesitating slightly.
"Hey."
"Yeah?"
A smile appeared before she could stop it.
"If this ends horribly,"
"It probably will."
"Thank you."
Juhoon looked at her. "For what?"
Everything, she almost said. But she decided on-
"For not making this worse and for helping me anyway."
His expression softened again, the same way it always did.
"Always."
The word settled somewhere inconveniently close to her heart. Camille immediately decided not to examine that.
"Okay."
"Okay."
She started walking and made it three steps.
"Catastrophe."
She turned.
"What?"
Juhoon stood beneath the apartment lights with his hands in his pockets.
Looking suspiciously pleased with himself.
"If we're fake dating now."
Camille narrowed her eyes.
"You should probably text me when you get home."
The laugh escaped her instantly.
"That's your first fake boyfriend demand?"
"It's a safety concern."
"You are absolutely enjoying this."
"A little."
"I knew it."
"Get home safe."
The warmth in her chest returned. "Goodnight, Juhoon."
His smile appeared immediately. "Goodnight, catastrophe."
-------------
Juhoon got the notification when he was in the elevator. He already knew what this was about.
twinski:
guys
tea.
old man:
yess we come bearing news
sean:
every time you say that i lose a year off my life
keonbro:
what happened
juhoon:
don't.
twinski:
:)
juhoon:
martin.
twinski:
today was beautiful
old man:
historic even
sean:
what did you do
keonbro:
what did HE do
twinski:
why is it automatically me
old man:
because it usually is
twinski:
fair
anyway
juhoon got a girlfriend
sean:
lmfao
keonbro:
solid 4/10 bait
you almost got me there😹😹
juhoon:
i do not
twinski:
sorry
juhoon got a fake girlfriend
keonbro:
this mf playing with us again 😹
sean:
bro thinks we were born yesterday or sum shit
twinski:
im serious
juhoon:
he isn't
twinski:
i am
old man:
he is
sean:
loll
WAIT
keonbro:
hold awn one sec
why did james back him up
sean:
OH MY GOD
keonbro:
HELLO??????
sean:
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
old man:
it means juhoon got a fake girlfriend
sean:
THANK YOU JAMES
old man:
np
keonbro:
CAN SOMEONE NORMAL EXPLAIN
twinski:
camille told some guy joshua they were dating
keonbro:
😭😭😭😭😭😭
sean:
NO SHE DID NOT
old man:
she did
sean:
OH MY GOD SHE DID
keonbro:
THATS SO EMBARRASSING
DID SHE JUST MAKE IT UP
twinski:
NO
sean:
WHY HIM
twinski:
exactly
old man:
good question
juhoon:
i was texting her
sean:
???
keonbro:
???
twinski:
bro was literally the first name she saw
keonbro:
LMAOOOOOOOO
sean:
THATS ACTUALLY SO FUNNY
juhoon:
wtv
twinski:
anyway
then she came over
sean:
of course she did
old man:
immediately.
keonbro:
CAMILLE 😭
twinski:
and then
THEY WENT INTO HIS ROOM
juhoon:
for fucks sake nothing happened??
old man:
nobody said anything happened
twinski:
bro loaded the defense before the accusation
keonbro:
😭😭😭😭😭
sean:
THATS CRAZY
twinski:
and THEN
our glorious king
nonchalant final boss
our nation's pride
juhoon:
martin.
twinski:
suggested fake dating
sean:
HE WHAT
keonbro:
HE WHAT
old man:
yeah
keonbro:
JUHOON???
sean:
KIM JUHOON???
twinski:
SEE
twinski:
THATS WHAT I SAID
juhoon:
it solved the problem?
keonbro:
THIS IS THE SAME DUDE WHO SAID "ROMANCE SOUNDS EXPENSIVE"
old man:
valid concern to be fair
juhoon:
thank you
twinski:
bro negotiated himself into a relationship
juhoon:
fake relationship.
keonbro:
☝️🤓
old man:
☝️🤓
twinski:
☝️🤓
sean:
☝️🤓
juhoon:
i hate this chat.
sean:
you should
keonbro:
deserved
twinski:
wait
sean
sean:
what
twinski:
remember when you swore up and down you didn't like yn
sean:
oh my god
keonbro:
OH BROTHER
old man:
here we go
twinski:
"we're literally just studying"
"martin stop being weird"
sean:
THAT IS NOT THE SAME THING
twinski:
history repeats itself
keonbro:
LMAOOOOOOOO
old man:
martin has been waiting years to use this argument
yousharknotpass
germansingergirl
2087
jacobvanloon
titsay
dailybridgerton
ellievsbear
areudirty