well hello there! welcome to my blog <3
(if you know who i am... how'd you find me!?)
BUT! for those who don't know me, hello! please call me sunflower or sunny, or any sunflower related names! (i am not picky!)
i use any pronouns, but most people use he/they for me, but sometimes she is okay! i do not mind at all <3
i'm hoping to actually keep this account active, but i do apologies if i go quiet for a month or two, school sucks.
in this blog, you will find fanfics i will personally recommend, fics i have written, fanart of things i enjoy and my general thoughts and opinions!
i am a HUGE fan of the mcyt community, along with musicals!! i also enjoy pop music, like chappell roan, sabrina carpenter, renee rapp and towa bird (guys i love towa bird.) i also LOVE the crane wives and james marriott, and have been so lucky to see them both live in concert in 2025! <3
i am very privileged that i get to go to concerts and musicals and even conventions like comic con! so yaps about them will be made!!
my fav mcyts are goodtimeswithscar, grian (please expect scarian in this), mumbo k. jumbo. cubfan, tango, and ren diggity dog!!!
this will probably be updated as we go, but for now this is a good place to end it, yeah? yeah! <3
(also if anything i do seems interesting to you, message me! i will glady respond!!)
tumblr art people i need help
i wanna make fabric paint using acrylic paint and fabric softener, but last time i tried it it never worked. how much paint & fabric softener do i use for it to work </3
"oh im so scared to tell my parents my interests and that i roleplay in minecraft and write fanfiction" i say, as my father used to play dnd when he was a young adult and used to both, play it as characters AND dm it....
i think i take after my dad and i love it.
a few days ago my brain was so tired and sleepy but my brain was also nonstop yapping about idiot professors scarian au with no serious plot, just them slowly falling in love amidst hectic schedules and piles of tests to grade. and thesis. sooooo self indulgent and intense rambling under the cut
(warning: IT ENDED UP BEING SO LONG LOL. im not joking its very long. and stupid. very very stupid. this was not beta read and not formatted well and there are typos. this is a peek to my crazy dark mind ..... )
i cant draw much atm but if i could i really would like to start an au with no real plot, just scenes i could think of
i really love aus where both or either of grian and scar are professors... (i love you ddvau and 'like you a latte' fic... i care you)
> i keep thinking of GRIAN as a professor who teaches biology or premed subjects (i was a medical biology major, and ever since i found out irl grian also majored in biology i kept associating him with it). i imagine he teaches at a uni for human anatomy, sometimes devt. biology, or maybe even genetics, but he also has to drive to a different uni because his PHD thesis advisor is there...
he didn't pursue medschool (he never felt like it i guess) but he does aim to get a doctorate. hes the type of person who did nothing but study in highschool and never dated and when he finally graduated from his bachelor's hes like "ok what now... time for masters??" (totally not talking from experience)
he didnt have any other grand goal but i wanna think he wanted to be a teacher at some point... initially he wanted to be a preschool teacher because hes the "big brother" of younger kids in his neighborhood, but as he took a break before his phd to get his teaching license he realized maybe hes too jaded to be a preschool teacher... so he just taught uni students for almost 9 years
his weekday routine is composed of: grabbing breakfast > driving to work > skimming thru his schedule/what he needs to do a lecture on > do all his lecture and lab classes > work on his thesis > drive to another university to meet advisor > pray to the universe he actually finds his advisor > do more work at a nearby cafe > drive 3 hours home >sleep and rinse and repeat. godbless this poor man
> i used to think maybe SCAR could be an arts professor, but civil engineering really suits him. (and im also not familiar with arts subjects). i really like the idea of him being a civil engineer and maybe he specialized in transportation engineering
im thinking he used to work as an engineer for a few (big) companies before ren (his old college roommate) called him to catch up, and ren asked if maybe he wanted to give teaching a try. he ruminated on it for a while, and after a year (and a traumatic workplace accident) he finally quit his job. hes been teaching civil engineering subjects for about 11 years.
still want him to be artistically inclined, so for funsies i want him to be a webcomic author, and his comic is about a handsome hero named "hotguy" —who is totally not his self insert—endlessly chasing after a villain—who he may or may not have based on a hopeless highschool crush he had—a british man who wears a chicken head mask named "poultry man". he thought of the names after reading through about 30 thesis proposals, and his comic is kinda popular now, so its too late to change the names. it's not a big deal though, because it's more of a comedy than a serious superhero story. he started this idea on a fastfood tissue he doodled on.
> SCAR AND GRIAN bumped into each other at the university scar works at—since scar is close to cub, who is from the natural sciences faculty, he often hangs out in their office just to talk and eat lunch with cub. scar was waiting for cub to arrive when grian walked into the room looking for a senior professor, a thick pile of papers in his arms.
scar is pretty familiar with the natural sciences faculty's schedule at this point (more than his own tbh) so he showed grian a copy of the senior professor's schedule... unfortunately for grian it was the professor's off day.
to cheer up the guy, scar asked what grian's study was about, and even though the cute guy enthusiastically shared a synopsis of his work, he wishes he had cub there to translate it in layman terms. scar can easily handle numbers, or even math problems that doesnt have numbers anymore, but he'd be damned if he had to figure out what a CRISPR Cas9 is (it wasnt even the subject of the study, he just fixated on it)
they exchanged names before grian leaves the room. when cub finally arrived, scar was on the floor, because
1. that cute man was grian slayer, his schoolmate from highschool that he had a pathetic huge crush on, and he looks as cute as ever even though theyre in their thirties already
2. GRIAN DOESNT REMEMBER HIM???
3. he was too embarrassed to bring up they knew each other in highschool. and were in the same club together (school gazette). because of the previous reasons.
in the class after that lunch break, his good natured students had to ask if he was alright. he gave them a pop quiz so he didn't have to talk about it.
> anw... flasssh forward
grian and scar are closer now, and grian remembers scar and their club shenanigans
they usually hang out in the natural sciences faculty office, but sometimes grian goes over to the engineering faculty office and they grade papers together as they talk about parking fees, grian's favorite sock still missing, or the overwhelming cat population problem in campus (which is quite the opposite for them two.)
> one time, grian's car broke down in the morning, so he had to commute through public transport to his other university and then to scar's university. scar offers him a ride to the train station. grian accepts, but when he got there, the train was delayed, and grian just wants to nap asap.
scar, with all the bravery in his heart, which is honestly not much, jokingly offers grian to stay over to his place (scar ends up speaking like a robot.)
grian just nods and goes back into the car.
scar is so nervous as he drives to his place, and grian is casually chatting with him but it's obvious how sleepy and tired he is, and at some point grian is speaking gibberish—he doesn't know if hes failing to understand because grian is slowly nodding away or if scar is losing his sanity at the thought of bringing his cute coworker home.
it should also be noted that scar, despite being in his mid thirties, and occasionally getting numbers from strangers who find him attractive, has never dated anyone before. ever. he did technically date someone but he didn't know about it until the person broke up with him, so technically — never dated.
neither has grian but scar doesnt know that
and that is why, when grian steps into scar's place, the following happens:
1. grian compliments the interior decors
2. grian sits on the couch as scar goes to get something for grian to drink
3. when he comes back to the living room grian is knocked out in his couch.
4. grian leaves very early in the morning, leaving a cute post it note thanking scar for letting him crash
this continues to happen until grian finally got his car fixed. scar is both flabbergasted and in awe. he doesn't know if it's butterflies in his stomach or the diarrhea that comes with his coffee addiction.
...
cub: so grian always comes over and sleeps at your place?
scar: yes. but. like. not anymore.
cub: im saying is, youve had a man over so many times but the farthest you guys have done is eat takeout as you watch a cat video compilation?
scar:
cub:
scar:
cub: i can't believe you are thirty-s—
scar: no need to remind me of my youth.
though, sometimes grian will say his car is having a maintenance repair and come over again at scar's, even though his new car is at pristine condition. but scar doesn't need to know that
(grian bought a t*sla because he lost a bet. hes now a proud owner of a secondhand honda and swore he will never ever make a bet with jimmy and joel ever again)
> one time scar left his room open, and grian being more comfortable of scar's place sneaks a quick peek into what scar's room looks like
scar just got out of the shower when he saw grian holding a thin comic book.
prior to that evening, cub suggested scar to show off his body. get out of the shower, hair and a body wet and only a towel for his goodtimes.
scar does just that, but he almost dropped his towel when he realized grian is reading the first print of the physical book version of his webcomic that just arrived in his mail the other day.
scar: ... look, i—
grian: i didn't know this has a physical version already. i havent caught up with it in a long time.
scar: ... wait, you've read it?
grian: yeah. my friend, jimmy, loves reading these internet comics and just spams my messages with the latest one he's read. i decided to read it out of boredom but got hooked because the art's pretty nice, and hotguy is hot and pathetic.
grian: by the way, wow. do you work out? you could probably dress up as hotguy and pull it off with a body like that.
scar remained in that spot until grian's food delivery arrived and invited him to eat. his plan worked but at the same time this wasn't how he expected it to go.
he tells this to cub, who was also flabbergasted.
scar feels... underwhelmed? maybe hes a little too old to be crushing on a guy who just sees him as a good pal. sure, after that, grian is a bit more touchy with him, but maybe it's because they've gotten closer. maybe its time for him to give up whatever fantasy his highschool self had with grian.
> well, grian is someone who is used to bottling up his feelings. feelings of thirst after seeing his colleague shirtless is not one of those feelings he can easily bottle up. the more he thinks about it, the more he feels stupid. he knew the guy from highschool, and while scar was tall, we was very timid compared to his current bubbly and confident demeanor. you can probably tell i listened to sabrina carpenter's "when did you get hot" too much because that song is exactly this. his view on scar had a 180 and he starts to notice things he hadnt noticed before:
1. how scar always rolls his sleeves up after lectures
2. how scar's button is always had one button open
3. how hes always stylish while dressing appropriately for his age; and it always seem to fit his body very well
4. maybe scar should wear a bra
5. maybe scar should put his chest on grians fac—
grian gave up on sleep that night. and since, as mumbo (another professor - electrical engineer) pointed out, he's been making googoo eyes at scar. cub also jokes about the unfair favoritism, as hes always the first to help scar around and basically stuck to him like glue whenever he could.
>> anotherrrr timeskip because thats basically just both of them being stupid
> thinking about grian finally completing his phd and having no more reason to go to scar's university. he's also been given an offer to teach at a more prestigious university, which hed need to move closer to.
he does the math in his brain. him staying in this apartment means he will be 2 hours away from that university, compared to the 1 hour drive he does to his current job. from his job, he drives 2 hours just to get to scar, which is 3 hours total from his place. if he moves, then he'll be 5 hours away from scar
thats a scary number, even scarier if he thinks about the gas prices if he wanted to desperately pull it off.
Grian thinks about it more, and he had the brilliant and never done before idea of simply calling scar.
calls eventually turn into facetime, and they basically talk until one falls asleep... though usually, they don't even bother turning it off. there was one time grian woke up to scar already awake, staring at the screen, greeting him a good morning.
that morning, his one class (seniors... theyre unfazed by his strict persona now) asked if he was in a good mood. he made a mistake of saying yes instead of "if youve got time to chat, youve got time to study your specimen", and now theres a rumor going around that he finally has a girlfriend.
"finally" is a word added by gem, a professor in the same department, except if she were the one to start the rumor, she'd say "boyfriend"
gem once caught grian facetiming scar during lunch. grian sheepishly blocked the phone, but scar greets gem anyway.
he wouldn't say scar is his boyfriend... they never talked about it, let alone done anything more than close friends would do.
there was the time scar he told scar the news that he defended his thesis and will be publishing the paper soon. scar smiled wide and hugged grian tightly, and grian returned it. they stayed there for while until scar pulled away to look into his eyes and told grian how proud he was.
if they stayed there for a little longer, maybe grian would lean in for a kiss. but alas, he was congratulated by their colleagues who barged into the room.
>> they finally meet again, on a weekend, and this time it was scar who drove all the way to grian's place. it was a lot smaller and simpler, enough to accommodate a single person.
grian offered they eat at a nearby cafe, thinking his place might be a bit boring, but scar insists they could just stay in and hangout.
grian made dinner for them and they watched some movies, but at some point it becomes bg noise as scar shares his drafts for his webcomic (he already knows scar is the author at this point, but hes still stupid to connect the dots to who hotguy and poultry man are)
at some point, they both fell asleep on the sofa, cuddled together under a blanket. grian was the first to wake up, who just admires scar's sleeping face.
it was at this point he finally accepted he is, without a doubt, in love with this man, and he would like to be with him until his hair turns gray and until his bones become brittle.
scar wakes up, sheepishly apologizes for staying for too long, but grian weakly tells him to stay, almost begging.
and scar does.
in the morning, they went to go get groceries together. after a lunch date, scar finally bid him a farewell, promising he'll come here again some other time.
grian wants to tell him to stay once again, but instead wishes scar to drive safely and to call him once he gets home.
once scar's car his out of his view, a decision was locked into his head.
he called the other university and politely declined the offer. was it perhaps a stupid choice? maybe. his past self would say yes easily. but is it a terrible choice? no. plus, even if he can drive 5 hours just to get to scar, he doesn't want scar to go through the same trouble.
maybe hes become stupider, but god, hes never felt happier.
> there was a small celebration party at scar's office. scar told grian it was because of a quiz bee competition among the colleges, and the engineering department won by a landslide.
scar isn't that active on social media. he just has a private twitter account that he barely even posts on. grian is the same, except he also has instagram. and does he have any reason to follow a university's social media account even if he doesnt work there other than the rare photos of scar? nope. but there was one student-run news account that posted pictures of the engineering college celebrating their win along with their professors.
scar looks dashing. hes barely in the photo in most of it, but grian will take what he can get.
one photo, another professor was holding scar by the waist. grian pauses. he closes his phone and walks around his office for a good 5 minutes before sitting back down in and looking at the picture again. time to assess.
a gorgeous tall man with long brown hair and a gorgeous mustache. grian touches the stubble on his chin. he hasn't even shaved it in months.the man is just as stylish as scar and has very fitting clothes. hes holding scar's waist and scar doesnt seem to mind it at all
what is going on here. but most importantly, why is grian so jealous of this... yes hes in love with scar but scar isn't even his partner!!!!!
grian pales. what if scar is seeing someone. he never even bothered to ask that. hell, is scar even gay? or atleast bi?
grian's fingers move on their own before he could comprehend what he was even typing.
grian: scar
grian: im comign over later
grian: youve got explainng to do
scar: Um cool
scar: Wait what did I do???
grian: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID
scar: HUH????????
after an exam (apologies to his class, he planned to alter some procedures to be easier but hes seeing red for the most of it that his could hear his students crying over how hard it was after) he drove to scar's place asap.
he got there before scar, and he waited by the door. scar almost jumped when he was grian, even nervously greeting him.
it's unfair to be mad at scar when he doesnt even know what he did. he knows that. so he tries to calm down. but scar takes his coat off and grian is reminded again of scar's waist. he's mad again.
but this time he just sits on the floor as he hid his head in his hands. its so stupid for a man in his thirties being this jealous over a man we wasnt even in a relationship with. soon, he was full on sobbing.
scar panics, trying to talk to grian but grian is just speaking gibberish through his sobs. he brings grian to the sofa, and he comforts him until he calms down.
scar: did something happen?
scar: did i do something wrong?
grian: are you gay?
scar: ....
scar: yea—
grian: do you have a boyfriend?
scar: ... what?
grian: answer or ill strangle you, scar.
scar: grian... i've never dated anyone.
grian:
grian: so there's no one else right now? youre not seeing anybody?
scar: yeah, i'm not seeing anyone. besides, i—
grian: so you're not seeing that guy with a mustache?
scar: who— REN? that man has a boyfriend! no!
grian: THEN WHY WAS HE HOLDING YOUR WAIST?!
grian shows the picture on his phone to scar, hugging his knees and hiding his face.
grian: i haven't even held your hand and someone else is being that close to you...
scar: grian—
grian: i dont even know why im so mad, im so sorry for screaming at you, i just— this is so stupid, getting this angry over such a trivial thing. this is pathethic of me, im so sorry—
scar holds grian's face so he could look at scar.
scar: can you just let me talk, angel?
scar wipes the tears off grian's cheeks.
scar: for the past few years, ive never felt happier. yknow why?
grian: why?
scar: because the guy ive had a hopeless crush in highschool suddenly barged into my life again. and i let him in. and it was the best thing to happen to me.
scar: you shouldn't worry about anyone else, because you're the most important person to me.
scar: because grian, i'm in love with y—
grian leans in to kiss scar. and scar reciprocates, a bit hungrier. the kiss turns into something more, and grian ends up spending the night with scar. he wakes up in the morning with his body sore all over, so he calls in sick to work for the first time in years. and so did scar.
grian had to wear a turtleneck sweater the day after, and scar dresses a little more modest than usual. gem and cub made sure to congratulate them while they were having a lecture in their respective classes. such supportive friends.
>> timeskip, they get married!
grian moves into scar's place, and they save up for their own house someday.
scar posts a selfie of them with the caption "my husband and i are expecting our first child 💗"
their friends reply with "congrats on your pregnancy 💗" while their poor advisees/students have no idea theyre just adopting a cat.
poor grian has to clarify that to his other colleagues everytime they adopt a cat (they ended up with 5.)
in scar's webcomic, hotguy finally catches poultry man, only to find out it had been his sidekick cuteguy all along. and they kiss in the final page. and then they explo—
>> thats all for now. this au is NOT done. i WILL be annoying about them again in the foreseeable future
i plan to make random doodles of them because ive wanted to draw scarian doing mundane things or being domestic for a while now c: if youve read all up to this point, i hope it was coherent LOL
- the hero and grian are the same person but grian is jealous of the hero
- scar had always been in love with the hero but only realized it when grian came along
- scar, despite being an elf whos lived thousands of years and read thousands of books, has no idea how human romance works. grian, on the other hand, is a freak.
- the only difference between the hero and grian is that the hero has blue eyes.
- grian found the ring when he was younger while playing in the part of town thats near the woods. it was hanging from a branch that looked like a hand. at first, it was too big on his hand, but when he grew older and it finally fit, he felt an overflow of emotions that he couldnt explain. he hasnt taken the ring off ever since.
i fucking lied i ended up playing minecraft every day and will play it every day. the grind is back!! it's okay i finished my cute ufo and now have a pet warden (his name is "ket chup" be nice to him he's shy.)
..... also im now a writer for a small magazine in my country talking abt mental health in the lgtbq community.. so that's fun!
scrolling through a03 (keep in mind it's 1.47am) and im looking through the 'GoodTimesWithScar is HotGuy' tag cause i need my dose of HotGuy fics to get me through the flu... i get jumpscared by seeing my own fic. that's all thank you :)
“Do you want to come with us?” Scar suggested without hesitation. “I'm sure you can sleep on the couch. Or, or the floor is pretty warm, actually, they have central heating-”
Grian briefly considered the idea of getting into a stranger's car in the middle of a blizzard to drive for over an hour to sleep on the floor of some married couple's house.
(or: fic about this comic. an unexpected snowstorm has cancelled the flights of both Scar and Grian, who were heading to very different destinations and are now stranded together in the middle of nowhere, Canada)
going to an all girls school as a (slightly closeted) trans man is so funny to me, what do you mean im walking around and people either think im a tom boy or a weird lesbian.
i am neither, guys please im a trans bi (in the aroace spectrum) man PLEASE!?!?
idea for a new fic based on one of my favourite TV shows 'community'
scar is a lawyer who lied about his law degree but was good at his job, so now has to go to community college to try get a degree to go back to work
(think jeff winger for those who watched the show but scar is 10 times nicer AND better person... though i do love jeff.)
grian is a high-school dropout who left to join a cult (watchers) and now has to try live life again. hes been out of the cult for five years now, and wants to finally get himself a degree in... something. that can be decided later.
no idea what this will be like or will i even write it, it just came to me while cosplay bowling as grian today for my bday with my friends and i had to get it out before i went insane
okay bye im exhausted
okay following up on this. what if like the tv show community, scar and grian become friends because they like are apart of a study group (will either be just the two of them or some other people included) for a class they are both in!!
for those who have watched the show, it will not be a spanish study group as i cannot speak spanish.... it'll probably be french because i am doing french. (unless someone who knows spanish wishes to help me out..... just saying.)
idk, this just came to me and i may or may not do something with it. any ideas or suggestions PLEASE tell me <3
idea for a new fic based on one of my favourite TV shows 'community'
scar is a lawyer who lied about his law degree but was good at his job, so now has to go to community college to try get a degree to go back to work
(think jeff winger for those who watched the show but scar is 10 times nicer AND better person... though i do love jeff.)
grian is a high-school dropout who left to join a cult (watchers) and now has to try live life again. hes been out of the cult for five years now, and wants to finally get himself a degree in... something. that can be decided later.
no idea what this will be like or will i even write it, it just came to me while cosplay bowling as grian today for my bday with my friends and i had to get it out before i went insane
okay bye im exhausted
