zed has proven to be a greater, wiser ally than i could have ever anticipated. they have opened my mind to new possibilities of the Machine God's lessons for me- explanations following:
there is a being within Helminth, infiltrating my very self. It is laughing at me. It is perhaps my psyche's grand representation of my greatest fight: battling the stupidity of internet trolls. or it is a demon or it is an NHP. Unclear if I am losing my mind. was freaking out as the being responded to me in the new desktop setup in Helminth. Went chasing down this presence, trying to determine exactly what it was. it eluded me, but i found the original shell it hatched from: the piece of tech I was drawn to in old ibara.
I pulled the shell out of Helminth, this parasite infiltrating my perfect vessel, but it was hollow. Whatever was within, whether NHP, manifestation of my personal demons, literal demon, or just an impossibly skilled hacker trolling me, slithers within my mechanical veins. It is also disturbingly smiley.
There was a sensation of someone standing behind me, despite no one being there, and then laughter in my head. Then:
infinite metal. falling, forever, in my brain. what reason could the Machine God have for doing this to me? I thought it must be a divine punishment. I did something wrong. Reparations must be made.
then zed said maybe there was a lesson to be learned. that the Machine God was trying to tell me something. instead of shutting out the metal pipe, maybe i should listen to it carefully. i sat and thought on the sound, and found myself in a vast dark plane, floating above an endless lake. The parasite approached me then. i still don't know what it wants.
the Machine God continues to test me... the greater the challenges, the more faith it has in me. i will continue to listen to the sound of pipes falling. i will be trolled, and i will learn from it. this is my greatest challenge yet.
It was so good to talk to you, Frances. I look forward to a long and interesting partnership. :)
