🕯️🌿 banishing spell to break someone’s hold over you 🌿🕯️
I’m in a time of transition right now, and as I’m going through all of these big changes, I realized that I was being held back by certain unresolved relationships in my past. I designed this spell as a way of letting go of those people and freeing myself of their influences, so that I can move forward without all this emotional baggage.
a small black candle (used for banishing negative influences)
a piece of paper with the name of the person or thing you want to let go of written on it
sage (for cleansing and purification)
an obsidian stone (associated with psychic cleansing, protection, grounding, and personal transformation) (side note: this is also one of my favorite stones to meditate with!)
fresh or dried basil (wards off negativity, promotes love and happiness, and is associated with peace in many cultures)
a selenite crystal (an extremely powerful cleansing stone, especially for cleansing emotional energies)
a rose quartz crystal (associated with forgiveness, healing, and compassion) (if you don’t have rose quartz, I would recommend using a pink spell candle to bring the energy of compassion and forgiveness into the spell.)
I had two different people I wanted to let go of, so I had two black candles and two pieces of paper. Ordinarily, you should just need one of everything.
Note: This ritual involves setting objects on fire. For this reason, I recommend performing it outside.
Begin by getting yourself into the right mood for magic. Maybe meditate for a few minutes, put on some instrumental music, burn your favorite incense, etc.
Take a moment to ground and center yourself.
Cleanse your space. You can do this by lighting your sage and wafting its smoke around yourself, your tools, and your general area. Close your eyes, inhale the smoke, and feel yourself being cleansed and blessed.
Light your black candle. As you do so, begin thinking about the person or thing you want to let go of, of the effect they have had on your life, and of the reason(s) you need to be free of their influence.
Take the piece of paper with the person or thing’s name written on it, and hold it over the candle flame. PLEASE BE CAREFUL NOT TO BURN YOURSELF. Hold the paper over the flame only long enough for it to light, and then set it down on the ground. It should continue to burn.
As you watch the paper burn, recite the following incantation: “[Name]’s hold over me is broken. He/she/they/it has no power over me. I am free of his/her/their/its influence.”
Repeat this incantation as many times as feels right to you. If you follow my blog, you know that I like to work with the number nine in my magic, so I repeated it nine times.
Allow yourself to feel all of the pain and frustration that this person or thing has caused in your life. Acknowledge these feelings – they are a normal and valid part of our emotional healing process, but they are no longer serving you. You have passed the phase in healing where they are useful. Focus on these feelings for a moment, and then let them go. Feel them being carried away from you, leaving you free of their weight.
If you chose to include basil, use the candle’s flame to light it. Watch the smoke rise and smell its sweet aroma. Feel peace and happiness flowing into you to replace all the pain you’ve just let go of. (Again, be careful not to burn yourself!)
Once you feel at peace, blow out your black candle to end the ritual. I find that with banishings and other “letting go” or “getting rid of” spells, it’s best not to prolong the spell any longer than necessary. Do what you need to do, and then end the ritual. Don’t give these negative influences any more or your time and attention than you absolutely have to.
Light your sage again, and do one final cleansing of yourself and your space. This will make sure that you are cleared of any lingering negativity, and I feel like it kind of just puts a “final seal” on the powerful cleansing you’ve just done.
This spell is all about your healing and personal growth. It’s not about removing the other person from your life, or wishing any harm on them – it is simply a way of cutting the ties that allow them to control you. Because of this, I find that this spell works best after the person or thing you want to let go of is no longer a part of your life, and after you’ve had some time to process your emotions and allow yourself to grieve. Pain has its place, and sometimes we need to allow ourselves to feel it instead of trying to get rid of it immediately.
