How To Deal When Things Get Stressful 😟😩
Have y’all ever been so stressed out you legit didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore? The worry, the one thing after the next just draining your life force till you’re a living personification of a prune? Yes? Me too.
I’ve been so stressed to the point of tears, headaches and eye twitching for 2weeks. It was literally making me sick and honestly it’s not healthy and wears the body down. Now I’ve come around, and hashed it out with my care counselor here’s a few things you can do when you literally just can’t right now.
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This one is first because it’s the most important and the most helpful in my opinion. Talk to someone! If you’re blessed enough to have therapist or a counselor utilize them. I’ll preach this until I’m out of breath. This literally saved my tail from lashing out and doing things I may regret 😖. It helped me this time while I was going through it. If you don’t have a therapist, try a friend or a trusted individual. Being & feeling heard is the first step to feeling better. If you don’t have a friend there are resources you can utilize that’ll post for your use in a separate post so it doesn't get lost.
Stop! Put Your Hands Up And Step Away From The Screen!
Screen time. Once upon a time I used to believe this was nonsense oh what a sweet summer child was I. It can be easy (extremely easy especially for my fellow ADHD peeps) to get sucked up into the screen. It could be tumblr, insta, twitter, work, school work, TikTok or just browsing into the abyss. Before you know what should of been 3 hrs online turned into 12hrs. Then you have a headache, your eyes hurt and you don’t know where you are anymore because you’ve been stagnant, probably forgot to eat properly and drink enough water.
Give yourself breaks in between away from the screen. 20-30mins at a time when you can if you have legitimate work that requires the internet. Other wise, try and set a timer and decompress from doom scrolling. Give your brain and eyes a chance to relax.
“How are you taking care of yourself?” Asked my counselor at my last session. I couldn’t think of anything. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I didn’t shower already for several days, I barely took time out to eat, I wasn’t moving my body and I sure as hell wasn’t going outside. To answer her I was doing a pretty shit job at taking care of myself and gave myself the excuse that I was focusing on balancing it all, trying to land a job in UX and dedicate my morning, noon and night to it. Who needs to be healthily when I’m bringing myself closer to the life I want? (Spoiler: I wasn’t moving no where because I was too far out of it) (and not being on my medication didn't make this easier..)
I’ve relayed this message so many times about the importance of taking care of yourself and how not doing so won’t help you in the long run or anyone else. So as I’ve broken my own advice, and old habits die hard take care of yourself. Start with one thing at a time. Doesn’t have to be huge. It could be as simple as drinking water, taking 10 mins to decompress, going for a short walk, or just giving yourself time to freshen up. Whatever you need to do to take care of you and just build on it.
All work and no play makes a lady dull. Under stress it's hard to pull back and live a little. Like, your brain is literally telling you not to because there are so many other pressing things to be concerned about. While that maybe true, that doesn't mean you have to run yourself ragged and kill yourself. Take a moment out to enjoy life and live a little. Honestly, it doesn't have to be going out (though it can be fun) and partying, you can play your favorite video games, meet up with a friend, have a movie marathon! Anything you can think of that's fun go for it! The pressing issue will still be there until you can find a solution for it but, the time you have to enjoy the little things isn't guaranteed so take a moment have some fun.
Acknowledge Your Feelings and Allow Yourself To Feel Them
I know a lot of us think we can handle it all, be power houses and serious 24/7. We can, We're strong, We're tough, We got this even with tears in our eyes. BUT! We're still human. We're complex, We're Fragile, Soft and have so many layers to us. I know we tend to hide or mask our struggles as women and women with adhd so it doesn't look as bad as it feels inside. We don't want to feel the shame, guilt or embarrassment of not being able to juggle everything as well as everyone seems to. We'll be juggling 10-20 plates saying we got this but you know inside you're about to drop 15 of them any second.
Put the plates down. Each and every one of them. Listen to your body and listen well. Your body is telling you're struggling to balance it all and you need to take a step back. Acknowledge that you're having a difficult time right now, allow yourself to feel that. Don't just power through arms/hands shaking and plates breaking because you couldn't hole your arms out for so long with so much. Put them down, ask for help, delegate a few plates to others, or just put some plates aside and only carry what you're physically, mentally and emotionally able to.
Not everything I shared is fool-proof but I can say it could be helpful for you next time you have a hard moment. I think I leave this here with this..
In times of high stress it's alright to not be well alright. It's hard out here and even harder when theirs stress added into the mix. It's okay to cope the best way you know how but, we want to do more than cope we want to heal and do the best for ourselves everyday. It's alright to be vulnerable enough to ask for help and it's okay to put the plates down.. no one's going to yell at you or disown you, the world will not end nor stop if you do. Just you. (If someone does or makes you feel like everything terrible in world will come if you do whats best for you, maybe they shouldn't be in your circle)
Any of my ladies here have difficulty dealing with high stress situations? How do you handle them? I'd love to read and I'm sure others would appreciate the tips and suggestions from peers.
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