моя любовь

| nell 🌻🇸🇪 | she/they | 30 | certified tag yapper in my heated rivalry era | 18+ | following/liking from nell-on-main |

[catfanatics]

happy pride month, can anyone help a black trans person get some groceries + cat food? we would appreciate anything that you can spare, even a $1/€1, nothing is too small. please reblog this anything helps

/40

paypal

[catfanatics]

i would at least like to get food for my cats today, they have nothing to eat

[loverboy-ilya]

really i'm just hanging on by a thread right now haha!!!! just me and #mythread :))

[glumshoe]

oh hey sorry I’ve been distant lately…. I’ve been really busy having a brain that is bad

[actuallysara]

From the Heated Rivalry soundtrack vinyl

[hr-rep]

have you read any good shane breakdown fics?

I’ll call this my compilation of Shane Hollander emotional h/c fics :}}

Something You Can Fix (series) I cannot recommend this enough, truly. It’s based off the idea that somebody records Shane & Rose’s conversation and posts it online.

Dig Two Graves this is a very, very good fic with a very very well-written breakdown from Shane and it’s also a very tough read. There is a graphic self-mutilation in this fic so read with caution!!!

Change, Like the Sky Shane unintentionally attempts suicide after getting outted in this one, so, please, read with caution!

A Year Safe in Your Heart I’ve recommended this one before, it’s a time travel fic where Shane has a. tough time. I really find the way his emotional health is discussed very compelling.

Crystal, Come Right In less of a breakdown fic but I really like this one, it’s an expansion on a possible version of the Club scene where things go differently. Bit of a spoiler, I guess, but it does have a happy ending :}

One Day I’ll Watch as You’re Leaving (and Life Will Lose All It’s Meaning) this is a Hollanov break-up fic + Shane’s very passive in this one so just keep in mind that that is the Shane you will be reading about. Additionally! Shane deals a lot with his suicidal thoughts in this fic, so keep that in mind.

How to Be a Rogue another tough read, please be aware that this discusses Shane being sexually assaulted and it being public knowledge.

It’s All Canadian Vodka’s Fault yeah so Shane thinks Ilya died and this is him Reacting. I really, reallyyyy like Shane’s internal monologue in this one

(Incomplete) Ilya; My Ilyusha there is truly so much potential here, this is another time travel fic and I’m Very obsessed with what’s been written so far. Book!Shane gets sent to TV!Universe and, unsurprisingly, there are problems with this. Very veryyyy good so far!

This isn’t totally what you mean BUT I would be remiss not to add a big fav of mine :}

Hope It Hurts Like You Hurt Me I’ve said this about this fic before: it has one of my favorite blowjobs scenes ever :} and unlike these other fics, not a sad breakdown nor would I Really call it a breakdown, it’s Shane Standing On Business

[russianblush]

ilya happy trail and bush ٩(^ᗜ^ )و ´-

[sour-echinacea]

where do people get energy from

[finalset]

adhd is like I think it’s gonna take me fifteen minutes to fill up my water bottle

[koldefingre]

Jane Hollander x Calvin Klein

[kosmogrl]

what doesn’t kill me leaves a pit in my stomach that never goes away

[lilyflxwers]

ok i absolutely need to know what accents u all have pls reblog and tell me or comment or whatever I must know

[black-quadrant]

ADHD affects how I experience time, not how I experience attachment. I love you. I miss you. I just don't realize how long it’s been since I last said that, let alone messaged.

I understand that most normal functioning brains need regular engagement to maintain a bond. Absence doesn’t diminish my affection. My silence isn’t neglect or disinterest. It’s time blindness and object impermanence. The contact gap is purely neurological, not emotional. Thank you for being patient with my inconsistency and holding a seat in your heart for me.

[ticklefighthockey]

I still think it’s so funny that shane was assigned gay by rose landry and his reaction was WHEW! thank god someone else decided that for me. anyway I’m off to get my man I can sense that he’s making bad decisions in a club somewhere

[ticklefighthockey]

rose: do you want me to set you up with my gay friend?

shane distractedly: what? no I’m obviously already embroiled in a years-long situationship with a disaster bisexual who is physically incapable of expressing a feeling out loud. and I’m positive he’s off being a nightmare somewhere so now that I’m gay for sure I need to track him down and greet him with such awkward but well-meaning compassion he ends up sobbing in my arms

[lucylehane]

hollanov + grinning like dopes as they text each other

[hollandershane]

[actuallysara]

day 153 of noticing: shane moaning "yeah" when ilya starts kissing his neck

[thesweetiepienovels]

Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Some is better than none. Walking for three minutes, is better than nothing. Drinking a glass of water and eating a snack, is better than nothing. Wiping down the counter, is better than nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. Small things are not nothing. You don’t have to achieve grand things if all you’re capable of right now is the smaller things. They are still achievements. Don’t do nothing just because you don’t think you’re capable of doing bigger things, just do something you’re capable of today.