Do what you used to love.
For those of you who remember your childhood, what were the things that brought you joy? What did you do for fun? Would you constantly immerse yourself in journaling or creative writing? Did you love to sing and dance? Did you like learning about things you didn’t understand? Did you build things with sticks or draw in the mud? Did you imagine a different world and pretend to live in it? Did you believe you had powers and move the ocean or control the wind? Would you combine random ingredients in the kitchen and taste test them? Did you like sports or just go outside and play?
When I was little, I seemed to do so many things that brought me joy, a lot more than I do now. I used to write, paint, draw, dance, sing, collect random things, and play outside all the time. I used to have a wild and vivid imagination. If I was bored, I was able to entertain myself somehow.
Being an adult now, I feel like I’ve suppressed that part of myself. I forgot what it was like to do things just for the joy of it. I stopped doing all my hobbies either because I was too old and it was uncool. I told myself I could be doing more productive things for my future. I thought it would be a waste of time. I thought I would never be good enough. I pretended to be something I was not, just to fit in or to feel more mature. The things that I loved, I had put on the back burner for so long, I forgot my passions and what brought me joy.
When people would ask what my hobbies were, I wouldn’t know how to answer. I would just say I work or go to school and don’t really have time to do things I enjoy.
Life became this series of constant obstacles I had to hurdle through instead of something I could simply experience and learn from. Everyday felt like a chore. I forgot what it was like to just sit and think, be bored. Social media drained me of my creativity and individuality. I started to feel like who I was, wasn’t enough. I idolized other people and started to hate myself more and more. I became unhappy and insecure. I constantly compared myself to others. And I still fall victim to it to this day.
I lost my curiosity, my imagination, my creativity, and my joy for the simple things in life.
But recently, I picked up my old hobbies. Even though I’m not as good at them as I was, I do them because I loved them, because I still love them. It has helped me realize that we are all starting to forget or have already forgotten what truly matters. We have made life a competition for success and a constant battle of comparisons.
What truly matters is that you do what you love. No matter the circumstances or the situation. You will never be happy trying to conform to societal standards just to try to succeed in a system that was created to work against you. You are allowed to be different and weird. You allowed to do things that people consider childish or stupid. You are allowed to not be good at something. If you know something will bring you joy, despite what others think, just do it. No one wants to look back on their life, wishing they had done it all differently, wishing that they had just been themselves, wishing that they kept pursuing their old passions and hobbies.
I don’t want you to regret the life you are living. So just start today. One thing at a time. You don’t have to be a protégé or even good in the slightest. Do it because you love it. Do it because you enjoy it. Start living for yourself again.
