existential crises for the group

[lesbianboyfriend]

do it scared do it weird do it alone. holy trinity

[thememedaddy]

[kineticpenguin]

At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields

[kineticpenguin]

At the risk of sounding like an effete intellectual, I do actually think you should be allowed to just take college courses indefinitely

[sludgewizard666]

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

[catgirlforeskin]

casting these before getting out of bed like buff spells before a raid boss

[lubdog]

so at one dastardly point in my life I dated this guy who was a Fuck with a CAPITAL F. and he would have like all these friends that he would bring around that were, of course, also Fucks. anyway, on one occasion, one of these Fucks walked up in my house and sat on my couch and with all the confidence in the world, almost as if pulled directly from the Fuck Constitution, said WITH HIS CHEST these exact words:

“Brantley Gilbert is my idol”

and I have never questioned my judgment more in any moment than that one bc this happened in my own home. my holy ground. defiling my couch he was.

[fairycosmos]

god i hate england

[lubdog]

americans at the tea party in boston

[lixorloveslicorice]

Americans:

[lubdog]

dude I just need you to know that I come back to this all the time bc it makes me laugh

[austimpowerz]

uses my insane musscle memory to open 4 wrong apps in a row

[jammespotter]

so I went to the counseling center at my school to set up an appointment etc etc and I know they have a therapy dog there and I was like “where’s the dog?” and the receptionist was like ‘oh I’m sorry, she’s in a meeting right now’ and I look over at the other room and there is a fucking dog sitting in a chair at a long table sitting next to all these people in business suits and I felt like I was in a dream

[catchymemes]

[girlbloke]

giving unread book back to the library makes me feel like i should be shot

[unsentimentaltranslator]

The fact that some people say things like this while other people think it’s totally fine to starve children is something that really should be talked about more.

[girlbloke]

period i am against that for sure

[mitsmebinch]

for reasons i shall not discuss, a tweet

[inside-my-gay-mind]

[sunlaire]

[universeleads]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

[universeleads]

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

[memeguy-com]

[deepseathoughts]

These two books contain the sum total of all human knowledge

[lubdog]

my dog died like 5 months ago and i’ve been dreaming about her a lot lately.

it’s like man- I really just have to miss her for the rest of my life

[scribefindegil]

Everyone is so weird about people who cry easily. Fellas, is it evil and manipulative to *checks notes* have an involuntary stress response?

[bluishorange]

actually a coworker of mine said something interesting about this. I was saying that I truly can’t help how easily I cry, and I hate when people assume I do it on purpose.

and he paused for a second and then said, “when you’ve been taught from a young age that crying is weak and you should train yourself never to cry for any reason, you assume that everyone else has trained themselves too, so anyone who cries has to be doing it on purpose. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t true.”

listen we’re never gonna run out of ways the patriarchy hurts all of us.

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

actual dialogue:

“to your battle stations, boys! it’s time to line up and see who’s tall enough for the roller coaster to hell!! some of us may not survive this, but the ones that do will get the ultimate reward.... paid.”

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“here’s a penny for your thoughts, and a quarter to not tell me them”

B A B E

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“everyone knows those quiet girls. the ones who never say anything at school unless a teacher makes them. the ones who you see every day but don’t know what they sound like when they laugh. lindsey is not one of those girls, but the teacher wishes she was.”

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“lindsey was always loud, especially when she was being kind. she didn’t smile at people to make them happier, she screamed all the reasons they shouldn’t be sad. it was hard not to listen.”

i can’t wait to read this book tbh

[kianf1sh]

My Blorbo In Hesh

Your kid is going places