For a dreamer night’s the only time of day @luinmiria - Tumblr Blog

a character who truly, legitimately goes “but why does that matter?” about their feelings when someone who cares about them asks. and the sudden falling of everyone around them’s faces as they realize that this person doesn’t recognize themself as someone who needs or should be taken care of. i want Everyone to hurt. surprise at the idea, worry for them, horror at not having noticed. do you see this person who doesn’t think of themselves as a person?

#fitzchivalry core #I love these moments #when everyone else in the story gets to see the self-hatred we're regularly treated to in his journals #especially the people that helped make him #(looking at you Chade/Burrich/Verity)#fitzchivalry farseer #rote #realm of the elderlings

crunch-barr

this is probably beating a dead horse but you know I hear often this debate on whether rote is queerbaiting and I have to say I genuinely argue it is already on-page queer. beloved is canonically queer & in love with fitz and I just don't think there's a version of fitz that's normal about that. i think that even if there was a different author but the same fitzchivalry you could not honestly write that man in this story coming to terms with his identity because he doesn't reallyyy come to terms with any other parts of his identity. he doesn't come to terms with any of his loves on-page, barely comes to terms with the wit, never stops lying, is deeply uncomfortable with himself and his life and his relationships and his family and himself as a father and the fact that he is a bastard so why would this be any different? it's weird that hobb takes such a stance against a romantic fitzfool reading or a queer fitz because she already wrote it, it's on the page! this IS how a relationship between the two of them would play out, this is how fitz would act if he was queer, there is no what if, this is it. in my opinion at least it IS a queer story. anyway.

#yup say it louder #queer people aren't always comfortable with themselves or their identities #and they don't always have very easily defined relationships that you can slap a nice grocery store label on and call it a day #nothing about their relationship fits easily into a cisheternormative worldview (hence the entire cast of characters' constant confusion)#and *that's* what makes it undeniably queer #something I've thoughy about a lot is 'would fxf's relationship be more obviously romantic if the fool had presented himself as a girl when #they met?' and im really not sure the answer is yes #obviously a lot of fitz's hangups do involve imternalized homophobia #but I also think he is someone who struggles with deep/intimate love of any kind #and the depth that the fool wants/needs to have with him would always be uncomfortable for him I think #he keeps his life with Molly contained within certain boundaries #while the fool is always looking to dissolve those boundaries (with Fitz's consent) and know him more completely #so fitz's inability to totally look at himself and allow others to love him would *always* interfere with his relationship with the fool #gender aside #so their difficulties imo have nothing to do with queerbaiting #and everything to do with who they are and what they want to be to each other #(+ some homophobia)#rote #realm of the elderlings #fitzchivalry farseer #the fool #beloved #fitzloved

Stranger Things rant incoming:

The criticism of Will's behavior towards Mike during the rain fight in S3 is so infuriating for so many reasons (many of which have already been articulated repeatedly on this platform for multiple years), but something I always think of when people say "Will didn't care about Mike's problems" or "Will bottled up his anger and never made any productive steps to resolve it," is clearly none of you have played Dungeons and Dragons before, because if you had, you'd know yes he fucking did.

Mike is the designated Dungeon Master for their party, which is a lot of work/responsibility. As a DM, it's essentially your job to not only write a compelling story with interesting adventures and battles for your characters, but to create possibilities. You create various non-player characters, some of which your players may never even speak to, get familiar with tons of monsters' stats and behaviors that the players may never fight, develop traps and interesting objects to challenge particular characters and engage your players (who probably all have different styles and aspects of the game they enjoy), and often improvise these elements entirely on the fly when the players inevitably do something unexpected. And you have to do all of that, while doing the appropriate math to keep the goals for the characters reachable and challenging. Everyone's enjoyment of the game is resting on your ability to write, prepare, think creatively on the fly, and engage with players collaboratively and not combatively. That's why, when the DM has to delay the game or takes a little longer to prep a session than expected, people are forgiving. The whole game rests on their ability to do ten times the work of everyone else involved.

So when Mike gets distracted by his girlfriend and has no time for the party anymore, and his friends understandably feel rejected, Will's decision to write his own campaign and DM is actually, contrary to popular belief, an incredibly proactive and understanding step towards mending some of the relationship fractures he's seeing. Rather than walk up to Mike and say "Wow, with all these changes in your life, you don't have multiple days of spare time to spend writing stories and scenarios for us?" Will makes a far more empathetic move imo, saying "Well, if Mike doesn't have the time to write a campaign, I can take up the mantle for a bit, and then we can all spend an afternoon playing together." His demand on Mike goes from "spend days, possibly weeks, of your time curating a day's experience for us" to "I'll spend days, possibly weeks, of my time so that I can have one day of yours."

So when Will ambushes Mike and Lucas and essentially says "hey, play this game I've made for you," it's not the same as bringing over an old board game and demanding your friends humor you (though, as others have pointed out, he wouldn't be at all unjustified in that request given how little time they've spent together + everything Will's been through). He's put painstaking effort into not only quality time, but relationship repair for the three of them, only to be met with outright mockery from Mike and Lucas.

(It's also worth noting that the amount of time and effort this requires is a spectrum, and creating the "really cool campaign" Lucas and Mike both insist it was likely would've placed Will's at the upper end of it)

So if, somehow, you were still wondering whether Will's bitter feelings over this are reasonable, think through the empathy and maturity it would take to set aside months of neglect, spend hours of your time on an easily accepted compromise, then be rejected and treated like a child by two of your best friends in the world, and not immediately lash out.

Will Byers is a better fourteen year-old than I ever was.

#this isn't meant as a dig on Mike or Lucas btw #they had their own stuff going on and both took accountability for it in their own ways (Lucas especially)#but having understandable teenage behavior doesn't make your position correct #I also want to emphasize that I think the misconception could've been cleared with an easy writing move of showing Will's prep #the audience shouldn't be expected to just naturally understand dnd #my guess is they just never considered how many people would see Will as the bad guy in that fight #🤷‍♀️ oh well - one more thing to add to the 'I wish S3 had had more of x' bucket #stranger things #will byers #mike wheeler #im not tagging 'mw critical' bc it's not really #he's just a teenager and teenagers are assholes sometimes #he doesn't have to be the victim here for you to enjoy his character #ST3

throttlegainwell

"But you like The Clash? For real?"

I just love that moment because he's verifying that Will isn't just trying to please Jonathan by saying he likes something that Jonathan likes. Like, yeah, he just told Will not to like things just because people want him to or expect him to—and that includes Jonathan, too. He means it so much and backs it up and he tries to instill confidence in Will to not make himself smaller or twist into a shape that serves others' interests.

luinmiria

Yeah! This is one of my favorite moments in the whole show. Of the many people who proselytize nonconformity over the course of the show, Jonathan is the only one (that I can remember) who doesn't back it up with the implication that his perspective is the real view you should be conforming to. He just genuinely believes people should like what they like and be authentically themselves.

Then add to that the seemingly small but effectively monumental act of walking over and firmly shutting the door on his arguing parents (and abusive father), locking them out of this safe little world he's creating for Will, and then Will using the same song they listen to to lock out the creatures of the Upside Down from his hiding place. He's such a wonderful character, and him and Will have a beautiful relationship, and so much of what creates that exists in this scene.

#jonathan byers they can never make me hate you #one of my hopes for S5 is that some of the shielding and support Jonathan gave Will will come back around in some significant way #either as a memory to hold on to while goes through The Horrors #or with Jonathan doing a similar kind of thing to help him fight off Vecna/the Mind Flayer in the present #jonathan byers #will byers #byers brothers #stranger things #there's a gifset in my head somewhere juxtaposing this scene with will singing and hiding in the UD #but unfortunately I lack photoshop

sticklystag

this might be the best compliment EVER

luinmiria

#hell yeah #i was hoping for will but honestly this is just as great #and kinda appropriate since I was also responsible for getting my younger brother into rock music lol #stranger things #jonathan byers

strangerfigs

the mischaracterization of will byers in fics needs to be studied. as sensitive introvert I don’t understand why will would even want to be popular or be popular or any of that or go to parties like this boy is not into all that and introverts aren’t losers like let him be introverted that’s FINE!!!!!! he can be more confident but that’s confidence=\= extroversion like IDK man as an introvert it’s just annoying being viewed by extroverts as these poor little awkward things like bruh we don’t want to be around ppl leave us alone we don’t want you taking us under your wing!!!!

luinmiria

This (unfortunately) could be said of almost any major Will Byers character trait:

Yes, Will is sensitive. Gaining confidence does not mean he suddenly has to start beating up bullies and shooting guns Nancy-style.

Yes, Will loves the punk music his older brother showed him when he was a kid and they were in a troubled household. Growing up doesn't mean he's suddenly into the same pop music everyone his age is obsessed with.

Yes, Will is GNC (for the time). That doesn't make him a walking stereotype, and it doesn't mean he needs to start working out and playing sports and carrying Mike to grow up/be more confident.

For Will - who's spent an entire lifetime being told he's a freak and believing it - confidence and maturity come from accepting the parts of himself others haven't, not from growing out of them.

#and yes op the introversion thing is frustrating #do I wanna see Will reach out to more people and form new healthy relationships? yeah I do #it'd be great to see him realize that he's not someone who's difficult to love #and that happiness doesn't have to live completely with one person or group #he *should* play dnd with other people if his friends are too cool for it!#(not that that'll happen; but it bugs me that he stopped playing after leaving for CA)#and I do think he would find more of his people in college (if he goes) than he did in high school #but there's a way to do that without making him suddenly the popular people-person #stranger things #will byers #fanon critical

Film critics are so funny sometimes. I just read a critical review of Frankenstein (2025) saying that there was too much spectacle, and that Mary Shelley's theme of "man playing god" wasn't delved into deeply by the film.

Which - my disagreements with that sentiment aside - is hilarious, because that's what the spectacle was for. So much of the imagery used, the color choices, and the sheer drama and scale of it all is meant to discuss that exact idea.

(and all the other complexities inherent in it: when we strive to be god, what are we really striving toward? To be compassionate and empathetic? To surpass the limitations he's seemingly placed on us? Is the concept of "becoming God" egotistical and delusional by nature? Or, in some way, do we become God by becoming parents? Maybe there's nothing behind this 'becoming God' idea at all, and we're all just flawed humans looking for ways to justify our obsessions and failures? Anyway - it's cool stuff).

I mean, hell, there's a giant statue of medusa in Frankenstein's tower, right in front of where he's assembled the creature (i.e. the mythological woman whose body was damaged by violence, and turned into a monster against her will by uh - *checks notes* - gods). The creature is brought to life on what is essentially a crucifix - the visual language isn't exactly subtle.

(Also - this post shows that this is intentional on Guillermo's part, in case anyone had doubts. It might not be your preferred style, but he deliberately uses dramatic visuals to tell his stories and illustrate their themes. So saying 'this wasn't addressed' when the entire movie visually screams it just reads as oblivious)

Anyway - humorous reviews aside - it was genuinely a beautiful movie and I highly recommend checking it out for yourself rather than relying on critical consensus.

#also - just as a general principle - I don't really understand the idea of #'too much spectacle'#when applied to a gothic horror/sci-fi masterpiece #about god and humanity and the soul and the wonders/horrors of science and creation #where life is born in the middle of a lightning storm #like idk - there's definitely a place for subtlety but sometimes drama and extravagance in art is ok? or even necessary?#the spectacle is part of conjuring the awe that's necessary if you're going to really inhabit the themes of the story #but I'm not a film expert so I'm open to other thoughts #frankenstein #frankenstein 2025 #gdt frankenstein #film stuff

thyla

STAR TREK: THE ORIGINAL SERIES season one | episode twenty- four ⇢ this side of paradise.

#unironically one of my favorite moments of the two of them #it's such a nice return to center after the emotional turmoil from the rest of the episode #this is their happy place #they just want to build subsonic transmitters together <3 #star trek: tos #spock #james t kirk #spirk

anghraine

This isn't an especially involved poll, but: I'm definitely someone who feels that "Where No Man Has Gone Before" -> all other TOS episodes in airing order is the most organic way to watch the show (stardates are near-random, couldn't care less about them), and I've found that each season has a sequence of episodes if you watch in airing order that packs a particular punch.

Which of these sequences of TOS episodes (in airing order) hits hardest for you?

S1: The Menagerie, The Conscience of the King, Balance of Terror, Shore Leave

S2: Amok Time, Who Mourns for Adonais?, The Changeling, Mirror Mirror

S3: Plato's Stepchildren, Wink of an Eye, The Empath, Elaan of Troyius

Voting ended onOct 8, 2025

This isn't about how much you like the individual episodes, but about how hard they collectively hit as a sequence.

anghraine

#marathoning s1 definitely made the first set - leading to kirk's strain and exhaustion in 'shore leave' - feel. uh. extremely earned #the second set are wildly queer about gender and sex #the third are 'okay we've definitely left behind the s2 coy ambiguity around bodily autonomy and are going with nope this shit is creepy af #(there are also some clusters of episodes that aren't back to back but the airing chronology really benefits them as well #but that's a poll for another day :D)

Reblogging w/ my tags because I'd forgotten that I left the whole rationales for why I feel these hit hard as sequences in the tags. >_>

#voted for s3 even though I generally prefer the S1 and S2 episodes individually #they're all good choices #but I really like how directly those episodes tackle abuses of power/dehumanization/loss of autonomy #earlier seasons of tos flirt with those ideas #but there's always something undercutting the power differential #sometimes the alien is naive/well-intentioned or there's enough comedy or whimsy in the episode to lighten the severity of the violations #but the S3 episodes are about power #how it can distance you from empathy/ethics/any real sources of meaning #and how that can lead you towards the use and abuse of others less powerful #like as much as I despise Deela I'm glad she exists #her odd fetishization of Kirk combined with the dehumanizing way she talks about and to him despite her veneer of kindness #and the victims' reactions (Kirk's clear tension and aversion + the eventual docility of the Scalosians' captives)#ends up being a more thoughtful breakdown of SA dynamics than I typically see in media (with a female perpetrator/male victim - even rarer)#the others are also insightful - Kirk's description of the Platonians as people empty of real feeling who #use the enterprise crew just to feel its facsimile was impactful (especially when considering his own trauma history)#as a group they really work to dissect tos's 'overpowered alien' plot format as well as poke at our own weaknesses #none of the featured aliens do anything too far outside what actual humans have done to other humans or animal species #and it's both disturbing and real as fuck #really glad the show went there #cw: SA #cw: abuse #star trek: tos #polls #edit to say that it's been awhile since I've watched Elaan of Troyius so it might not fit this format exactly #I did just rewatch the other three back to back with my eleven year-old brother though #he immediately went 'that's assault!' atbthe first Deela kiss and I was so proud

raid my bookshelf

Thanks for the tag, @betty-fran ! These were tough to narrow down, but definitely a fun process. My books right now are a mix of physical and electronic formats, so it was interesting to look at which things I tend to just grab quick online, and which things I've either picked out or collected over time.

Pick one of these books on my physical bookshelf:

Below the Edge of Darkness - Edith Widder, PhD

The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

Tales from the Perilous Realm - JRR Tolkien

Royal Assassin - Robin Hobb

With Respect for Nature - J. Claude Evans

Pilgrim at Tinker Creek - Annie Dillard

Dune Messiah - Frank Herbert

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

The Dancing Wu Li Masters - Gary Zukav

Slaughterhouse Five - Kurt Vonnegut

Emma - Jane Austen

A Storm of Swords - George RR Martin

Voting ended onOct 7, 2025

I'll tag @a-most-beloved-fool , @joycrispy , @forge-me-daddy , @snirtles , and @f1xy0urh3art - feel free to participate or not, regardless of whether you're tagged! I enjoy seeing everyone's versions of these

#interestingly a lot of my non-science nonfiction tends to be electronic #I think it has to do with a google black hole -> impulse purchase pipeline:#'this is interesting - is there a book on this?' *purchases immediately #whereas the physical books tend to have more of a story behind them #which made it really fun to go back through them #I've got a pretty overcrowded bookshelf so it felt like digging through old well-loved photo albums #raid my bookshelf #books #polls #luinmiria personal

roostercrowned

guys help I'm writing a straight character and I want to make sure their feelings about their best friend (who is tragically in love with them) read as strictly platonic. So far I've had:

character using possessive language about the friend

describing friend's hands and hair and figure often and in flattering and poetic language

seething with jealousy at the mere suspicion that friend may have even a casual romantic/sexual attachment. to anyone else. ever

overreacting childishly to the friend's confession of love after hearing rumors about their relationship

character stating openly that they want the friend's touch "as [they] want breath itself"

having the character neglect their straight marriage to write bitter, pining letters to their absent friend. they have a whole room dedicated to this btw

making them have a baby together

through ecstatic soul-bonding

roostercrowned

hold on I thought of more

give the character a socially taboo kind of magic

their father figure has the same magic but he's closeted and self-loathing about it

he tries to shame and beat it out of our character

every time father figure mentions character's dead father (his former best friend) he says something about their closeness and blushes before changing the subject

#op I think whenever your characters soulbond you should compare it to sex #or to kissing your lover #just so no one gets confused #rote #fitzloved #rote spoilers

trek-tracks

"Join Starfleet," they said

"You'll never have to kill a deadly shapeshifting creature posing as your beloved ex-girlfriend in order to suck salt out of human bodies," they said

"That's an oddly specific statement," I said, continuing to sign up for some reason

#poor mccoy #starfleet therapists must have a hell of a time #star trek #star trek tos #leonard mccoy #bones mccoy

I get why some people enjoy SNW, but I really haven't been able to move past the fact that now, according to Star Trek canon, Kirk has a higher mass slaughter count than Kodos.

#it's upsetting as someone who loves TOS Kirk (imagining CoTK with Kirk not just a survivor but also a perpetrator? pretty horrible)#but also it just doesn't fit #you're telling me serious/walking-book-with-legs/loves philosophy/holds everyone (and himself) to strict ethical standards Kirk #would be the kind of captain he is in tos if he was also responsible for 7000 deaths?#he can barely listen to his mirror-universe self's kill count #or handle the death of one person on his crew #he's occassionally a little quick to move to violence in tos on behalf of his crew #but that fits with his tos history as a young captain and a survivor of two mass killing events (one of which he blames himself for)#and who probably hasn't yet made the mistake of killing 'enemies' who are sentient or who have civillians aboard #a mistake like this would *drastically* change him #idk - I do have fun with the show at times #this was just a really careless move imo #(one of several this season)#snw critical #star trek: strange new worlds critical #james t kirk #star trek

anghraine

It's ludicrous to say anything about TOS Spock goes unappreciated, but I do think he deserves a bit more credit for the sheer number of times he's like "logic dictates that the solution to Jim's problem is Murder"

anghraine

Just a few (non-exhaustive) instances from TOS of Spock ❤️ death for anyone who threatens James Kirk and/or any group that includes him:

KIRK: Are you reading all our thoughts, Gary? MITCHELL: I can sense mainly worry in you, Jim. Safety of your ship. KIRK: What would you do in my place? MITCHELL: Probably just what Mr. Spock is thinking now. Kill me while you can. [later] SCOTT: Oh, did Mr. Spock get the phaser rifle we sent down? KIRK: I didn't order any— [Spock enters with a big-ass rifle] KIRK: …Affirmative.

SPOCK: It's killing the captain. Shoot it, doctor, quickly! MCCOY: No! No! SPOCK: It's killing the captain! Shoot, quick! MCCOY: I won't shoot Nancy.

SPOCK: Fascinating… SPOCK [clearly putting something important together that nobody else is getting as the Metron livestream shows Kirk cutting vines against a rock]: Good. SPOCK: Good. SPOCK [to a baffled McCoy]: He knows, doctor. He has reasoned it out. MCCOY [along with everyone else on the bridge]: ????????? [Kirk starts shoving the potassium nitrate into the bamboo] SPOCK: Yes. SPOCK [going from standing to sitting in Kirk’s chair]: Yes. MCCOY: What is it, Spock? SPOCK: An invention, doctor. First potassium nitrate, and now if he can find some sulfur and a charcoal deposit or ordinary coal… [McCoy and the non-Spock bridge crew watch as Kirk returns to a gemstone deposit that baffled him earlier and starts shoving diamonds into the bamboo stem] MCCOY [still baffled, clearly not on the nerd4nerd radio wavelength here]: What’s he doing? SPOCK: Diamonds. The hardest known substance. Impelled by sufficient force, they would make formidable projectiles. MCCOY: What force? SPOCK, with all but heart eyes, despite knowing about the Gorn's innocence by then: Recall your basic chemistry, doctor. Gunpowder.

KIRK: Mr. Spock. Capture it? I don't recall giving any such order. SPOCK: You did not, sir. I merely thought that if the opportunity arose— KIRK: I will lose no more men. The creature will be killed on sight and that's the end of it. SPOCK, unhappily: Very well, sir. [a few minutes later, when they're separating and Spock hears rocks falling] SPOCK: Captain? Are you all right? Jim? Jim! [after managing to contact Kirk] KIRK: I know exactly where the creature is. SPOCK: Where, captain? KIRK: Ten feet away from me. SPOCK: Kill it, captain, quickly. KIRK: It's not making any threatening moves, Spock. SPOCK: You don't dare take the chance, captain. Kill it. KIRK: I thought you were the one who wanted it kept alive, captured if possible. SPOCK: Jim, your life is in danger. You can't take the risk. KIRK: It seems to be waiting. SPOCK: I remind you it's a proven killer. I'm on my way.

SPOCK: They are followers. Without followers, evil cannot spread. KIRK: They're children. SPOCK: Captain, the four hundred and thirty men and women on board the Enterprise and the ship itself are endangered by these children. KIRK: They don't understand the evil that they're doing. SPOCK: Perhaps that is true, but the evil that is within them is spreading fast, and unless we can find a way to remove it— KIRK: We'll have to kill them.

#one of the most fascinating (ha ha) parts about trying to analyze spock as a character #is trying to figure out when he really is emotionally compromised #and when he just has some insane reasoning to back up his decision #(or possibly both)#bc the fun part about a species which depends on logic #is that you can have conclusions which are completely bullshit #but are still logically valid #bc you can follow a correct reasoning process based on false premises #(i.e. water always appears pink; rain is water; therefore rain always appears pink)#so sometimes you think 'wow Spock is really letting his emotions about x get in the way of his judgement'#and maaybe that's true if you dig deep #but then you hear his justification for it and it's almost more insane with a logical basis #(court martial is probably the best example: 'No jury he speaks from pure logic. Kirk's perfection is as reliable as gravity. Obviously')#in this case (his 'everyone's expendable but Kirk' behavior)#it reminds me of a conversation I had with my brother who's a pretty strict utilitarian in terms of his ethical beliefs #and I asked him one time (for fun/curiosity; not mad or judgy)#whether he'd switch the track to kill me if I were the one person in the trolley problem #and his response was both really sweet and unnerving #essentially he said 'a lot of people do horrible things so more lives doesn't always equal more good in the world'#'sacrificing one good person to save five unknown people is probably not a net win; so no I wouldn't switch it'#which left me with the very odd question of 'just how many average people does my brother think I'm worth?'#and in Spock's case (though I wouldn't call him a strict utilitarian) that might be the reasoning #His respect/admiration/care for Kirk is extreme enough #that hundreds of crewmen/multiple children/an endangered species aren't worth sacrificing Kirk #just speculation on my part though #spock's ethical reasoning is usually more complicated than a simple utilitarian dilemma #and his emotional world does drive his decisions at times #but yeah - agree with op: let's talk more about spock's murderous tendencies!#star trek tos #spock

Happy birthday to Star Trek! A show I could never post enough about for how influential it's been in my life.

Whenever I'm feeling sappy about Star Trek (which I am today) this is the video I watch:

#the horta made me a biologist!#sentient silicon-based life form that moves through rock like air using highly corrosive acid? hell yeah #I watched that episode when I was nine and it blew my mind #star trek was magic for me #made me look at the world differently:#skeptical of any hard and fast rules or limitations but always trying to stay curious #<3 #star trek #star trek day #Youtube

foolinandfitzin

The Fool has so much going on in this book and I can’t believe that I’ve never noticed it before?

When I first read Royal Assassin, I just saw his entire storyline as ‘he’s sad because his surrogate father is dying’ and then just never really thought about it further. But because this liveblog has made me pay closer attention to what’s happening in the text, I’ve started to notice that the Fool’s main conflict in this book basically parallels Fitz’s main struggle throughout Royal Assassin (and also his entire life) - duty vs one’s own desires. Only whereas in Fitz’s story King Shrewd represents duty and Molly represents desire, for the Fool it’s the reverse; Shrewd is the figure of personal wants and Fitz is the figure of obligation.

The Fool has two main objectives in this book; ensuring that the Farseer reign continues and making sure that Shrewd is well cared for in his last months of life. The former is something that he was born to do, the latter is something he decided to do himself. Although the first objective is clearly the more important one as the fate of the entire world depends on it, on an emotional level both tasks are equally important to the Fool. He has no qualms about risking Regal’s displeasure (and therefore risking his life) by refusing to leave the King’s side, going as far as sleeping on the floor as not to be locked out of the room. Shrewd is a man who has shown him kindness when he could have shown nothing but cruelty, and the Fool is determined to pay him back for all he’s done.

This is why it’s so difficult for him to follow through with his duty once it becomes increasingly obvious that Fitz’s actions will most likely lead to the King’s death. Now obviously the Fool strongly cares for Fitz. But Fitz is young and healthy where Shrewd is old and weak. Fitz has a wide support network where Shrewd is increasingly isolated. Fitz is devoted to Verity while Shrewd has been all but forgotten. And as if that wasn’t enough, Fitz’s actions constantly mess with the future and provoke Regal to act, endangering Shrewd’s life even further. It’s no wonder that, as much as he loves him, the Fool cannot help but to feel resentment towards Fitz. And yet, because Fitz is the Catalyst, he cannot really be stopped. Not only that, with Regal grasping for more and more power, it becomes increasingly obvious that he shouldn’t be stopped.

The Fool knows that and struggles with it deeply. He still tries to hopelessly balance what he wants to do with what he has to do. Although Kettricken being pregnant is not enough to guarantee that a next Farseer heir will be born as long as Regal is in charge, the Fool is still ready to accept it as enough, to not risk Shrewd more. He even asks Fitz not to stir things further: “'That is what I ask you,’ he said quietly. ‘To forgo your twirling, Sir Spoon. To let things settle.’” When Fitz inevitably refuses, pointing out the uncertainty of their situation, the Fool begins to break: “He pressed his forehead to the door, a most un-Fool-like gesture.” He fully breaks after Regal brutally throws him out of Shrewd’s chamber, Kettricken falls down the tower steps, and Fitz not acting isn’t an option anymore.

This moment at the tower steps is the climax of the Fool’s arc. It’s no longer possible for him to fulfill both his heart’s desire and his duty. He has to choose one or the other. And although he puts up one last show of resistance, one last desperate effort to ensure he can stay with Shrewd and protect him: “'I promise that if my king is taken, and I do not go with him, I will betray every one of your secrets. Every one.’ The Fool’s voice was shaking,” the fight is already over. Duty has won. The Fool’s threat is completely empty - revealing Fitz’s secrets would lead to his death, dooming the world and killing one more person that the Fool loves. He would never follow through with that.

Even Fitz knows it. He runs away not from the Fool’s threat but from the “tears on his cheeks […] tinged pink from the cuts on his face. I could not bear to see them.” He runs away from the sight of the Fool’s defeat. And then, just a chapter later, Fitz goes through this exact same emotional turmoil when Molly leaves him and he goes back to trying to protect the throne from Regal.

#love this take!#it's easy to see the fool's conflict between love and duty later on #when he's torn apart by having to use Fitz for the world's sake #and you can even project backward and assume he might've had conflicting feelings about leaving his life behind to go the 6D #but something I didn't realize until this post is that he's always seemed like more of an agent in that conflict #he's choosing the outcome that he wants for the world and pushing toward it #he doesn't reject the flow of time and try to pull away from it to fight for his own life the way Fitz does #Fitz always seems positioned in opposition to those forces #(or any forces really)#the crown wants him to be a tool #molly wants him leave with her and be her family #the fool wants him to live and shape the world #time seems to want his death and the collapse of his society #and he manages to navigate all those pulls by rejecting all of those roles - in part - and becoming very self-directed #but essentially he always seems to fight to protect the people he loves and remain himself while the world spins out of his control #whereas the fool has always felt like a more active agent in shaping the world #who (mostly) embraces his role in doing so #but this interpretation suggests that (at least in RA) he's fighting the same battle fitz is #and that fitz is the one dragging him forward rather than the other way around #another one of those moments where I wonder how much of the fool would seem different if we had the fool's pov #maybe he feels just as torn and helpless as fitz does?#and fitz seems like the one who has control and agency?#anyway - you've given me a lot to think about op lol #rote #farseer trilogy #the fool #beloved #rote spoilers #farseer spoilers

Just got to the Galen chapters in my rote re-read, and it's so devastating to see how confident and competent Fitz is in the Skill for like-- half a chapter:

I just wish it were one chapter longer. One more chapter before I have to listen to 8 1/2 books of his Galen-induced "I was never very strong with the Skill" litany.

It is such a good metaphor for how childhood abuse can mess with your ability to form attachments, though.

The Skill's a magic centered on connection, and adolescent Fitz wades into it openly and easily. But after Galen he struggles to have a healthy relationship with it - either walling himself off or plunging too deep too fast.

#the Skill is definitely something I want to track more on this reread #both the in-world reality of it and the metaphorical significance #there's just so much there that evolves with each subsequent series #rote #assassin's apprentice spoilers #farseer spoilers #farseer trilogy #fitzchivalry farseer #the Skill #Galen #rote reread

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