Butchlover

Pillow princess 21.

[ceruleanheaven]

month starting on a monday we have no excuse guys lets get to work and lock the fuck in

[ceruleanheaven]

yk its actually very chic and avant garde to start on tuesday the second

[ceruleanheaven]

many claim theres nothing more subversive and revolutionary than starting on wednesday the third

[notecardpasta]

I think when you correctly identify a trauma that is the base of a woe of yours it should just disappear. It should be like "aaahh. you got me" and vanish and leave 100 dollars behind

[countthelions]

#if you line up several neuroses and identify the interlocking connections between them they should all vanish like clearing a line in tetris (via @karliahs)

[redstonedust]

guy who is stuck in a timeloop but is too socially anxious to bring it up to anybody or change their routine just in case it turns out they're mistaken. like yeah you're pretty sure that it's been november 3rd for two weeks now but idk maybe that's the depression talking. it's fine.

[novacm-deactivated20260406]

(person who learned from childhood to make themself as small and unimportant as possible to avoid being a burden) yeah its okay we dont have to do my thing if you dont want i dont mind

[samijami]

Transfem butches, reblog if you agree

[soup-mother]

the brightest he/hims of this generation have synthesised a groundbreaking new invention never before seen anywhere in the universe: oh wait no it's just saying "not all men" again in response to a woman talking about patriarchy.

[evilbutchboy]

[wcdonaldo]

[spit-on-cops-deactivated2026041]

femmes are not gender-conforming. the concept of ‘woman,’ being a socially constructed class, exists to *naturalize* women’s artificial subjugation as laborers for men. a lesbian’s refusal to provide feminine labor (ie reproductive, domestic, sexual, etc) for a man is her literally refusing to perform womanhood. femmes are especially fun to me, because they make it explicitly clear that the problem isn’t the gendered masculine/feminine dichotomy, nor even the gender roles themselves; but the structural power imbalance engrained into heterosexuality as a whole. femmes LOVE gender roles; but the misconception that “femmes just want men” or that they “conform to womanhood” is nonsensical when you understand that they are intentionally taking that away from men and giving it to butches and studs—not out of social obligation, but out of true love and desire. and i think that’s beautiful.

FYI: THIS INCLUDES TRANSFEM LESBIANS. ARGUE WITH THE WALL

[tart-pastry]

“I DON’T BELONG TO YOU – YOU DON’T BELONG TO ME” is a text sculpture by Jeffrey Gibson.

[ripleylarue]

PILLOW PRINCESS PILLOW!!!

[lesbianherstorian]

hey! could you explain some of the history behind the stud identity?

stud is a black lesbian identity, much like AG (aggressive). though it is similar to butch in describing female masculinity, and stud/fem often mirrors butch/femme roles — it illustrates their unique relationship to womanhood by recognizing the specific ways in which they are subjected to, and impacted by, racism, homophobia, and misogyny due to historical constructions of black gender roles and perceptions of black female masculinity.

some historical information and excerpts about the meaning and evolution of stud identity:

in 1965, ethel sawyer conducted “a study of a public lesbian community” in st. louis, missouri. this was the earliest known sociological study of a black lesbian community anywhere in the united states. in this fieldwork, sawyer found that masculine black lesbians in the midwest referred to themselves as studs.

anita cornwell writes “the butch, who in all black gay circles that i have ever encountered is labeled ‘stud’” (from “a black lesbian is a woman is a woman…”, published in the los angeles free press, november 1972)

lorraine bethel references “the black bulldyke stud” in her poem “what chou mean we, white girl? or: the cullud lesbian feminist declaration of independence (dedicated to the proposition that all women are equal, i.e. identical/ly oppressed)”. (published in bethel & smith, 1979)

susan, in an interview about female prisoners, uses the term “stud broad” to explain “women who from physical appearance might easily be mistaken for men … contrary to the images in homophobic research and media … they are often unusually quiet and gentle … [she] sometimes won’t allow herself to be touched.” (from “sex is always the headliner”, published in sinister wisdom no. 16, 1981)

oshen t. explains “i identify as stud but, growing up, i didn’t know that there was a word, ‘stud.’ what was more common was butch, but at some point, like in my mid to late teens, i noticed that butches were usually white women, and even though i did see some black butches … at some point it got really irritating and didn’t fit me. i don’t feel butch, and i don’t like that word, even saying it. stud came out of me and my peers having a conversation, and i held onto that word stud. we younger studs from east oakland started to gravitate toward that. butch was white and older, and as young kids, we were studs. there was some age stuff, race and class. all the books were about stone cold butches … just white people. we were like, nah, that’s not us.“ (quoted in “masculine of centre, seeks her refined femme” by b. cole, published in persistence: all ways butch and femme, 2011)

b. cole writes “unlike white female masculinity, female masculinity for womyn of colour is based on sites of power and systemic oppression — through masculinities of colour. the assumption that they can be resignified with equal subversive and revolutionary actions against white manhood is false. the ability to access masculinity pivots upon the ways in which gender intersects with race, and these gaps have been filled with new ways of naming ourselves. in the last decade, the explosion of young masculine-of-centre womyn has created a demographic shift on the butch landscape, giving way to terms like ‘stud’, ‘boi’, ‘tom’, and ‘macha’ in california and the south, ‘dom’ within the d.c., maryland and virginia region, and ‘aggressive’ or ‘AGs’ in new york.these identities represent a redefined female masculinity that is rooted in the experiences of womyn of color and is more genderqueer than historical interpretations of butch……the emergence of this new language would not have happened were it not for the ways in which masculine-of-centre womyn of colour live their female masculinity through the lens of race. our identity has socially transformative powers and there are still nuances to our identities — masculine-of-centre mothering, social mobility, and historical racial oppression — which shape masculinity in ways that have yet to be fully explored…*womyn here is used to reflect that, for many of us, as masculine of centre, our gendered identity is not accurately reflected in the term women.” (reprinted in outside the XY: black and brown queer masculinity, 2016)

nneka onuorah said “black women don’t have a voice — black ‘AG’ [aggressive] lesbians don’t have a voice. i wanted to tell a story of my own for people who look like me.” (from an interview with NBC news about her film the same difference, 2015)

some films of interest:

the aggressives, directed by daniel peddle, 2005

pariah, directed by dee rees, 2011 (netflix)

stud life, directed by campbell x, 2012 (amazon)

the same difference: gender roles in the black lesbian community, directed by nneka onuorah, 2015 (kanopy)

[ladiablesse]

thinking about this horrific story alongside that of Kelaia Turner, a 12 black child who attempted suicide at 12 yrs old after being relentlessly tormented by her racist classmates and teachers. after surviving the attempt, she was stalked and harassed by her bullies who took pictures of her whilst she was in a coma at the hospital, and now that she is conscious she is completely immobile, unable to speak, and requires constant care. white people are raising demon children and the world should burn several times over for these two little girls.

[isometricsch]

The G*F*ndM* started by Kelaia's parents is just short of their goal

https://gofund.me/2ec6e9bf

[aletheyass]

talking to myself out loud and disagreeing with myself every now and then so that the spirits lingering in the cold corners of my room don't accuse me of monolithic thinking

[fucktoyfelix]

Choking Safety

I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.

First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:

The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.

This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.

You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!

[aropride]

[lobotomyscars]

"everybody experiences that" says mother who has the same symptom of the same mental illness