[lunacomesfromlunatic]

So much pain from someone who claims to love me, but I know how love should feel from the way I love you

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

My mum never wanted to stay in this world, and still she sacrificed her life for me. She could have had a different life, a better one, if I hadn’t existed. But she didn’t. She stayed, she suffered, she gave up dreams she will never get back. And even if we don’t get along, I won’t leave.

I won’t make her regret giving up her life even more. If I stay at all, it’s so her suffering wasn’t for nothing.

If I don’t live for myself, then at least I live so her suffering wasn’t wasted.

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

[metamorphesque]

— Notebook Fragments, Ocean Vuong

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

one day, I‘ll tell him

[anxeious]

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

i‘m sorry, second one

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

To the little version of me: I‘m sorry

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

[xinger1424]

You deserve someone who never stops trying to show you how much you mean to them, even after they have you.

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

about a drinking mother - what she gave me, I became

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

I read something yesterday:

“Maybe you weren’t a terrible person maybe you were just fifteen.”

I wasn’t unlovable. I was a child. But love came with strings, and every hug, every word, was weighed against a condition.

Now I live with their voices screaming, you’re not enough. And I try—God, I try—to prove them wrong. But no matter what I give, the fear is louder.

Because if they couldn’t love me, who will?

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

This time, I don’t want him to see me. Maybe it’s him. Maybe it’s me. I’ve been unseen, and it broke me. I’ve been seen, and I broke someone else. I can’t find out what he’ll be. I don’t want to know.

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

[lunacomesfromlunatic]

when will it all get better? why does it feel like I lost this fight years ago?