Amnesia is weird because you think it will be dramatic and distressing every time you experience it but for the most part you don't know what you don't know. And when you do realize you're experiencing it, it's a lot like walking into a room and not knowing why you're there or searching for a word on the tip of your tongue. I have had a lot of distressing dissociative amnesia from DID but honestly sometimes I still get surprised that it's a symptom I experience (partly because the experienced gets taken away by the amnesia but even more so) because it's so mundane. It's just normal if you don't realize it shouldn't be happening. Especially because DID tends to start/form so young, you never really learn how a brain would work any differently. So amnesia seems normal. And it feels so simple and mundane. Sure I forgot what I was saying in the middle of the sentence for the millionth time. That's just how sentences work. Of course I've got multiple day holes in my memory of the last week, that's how memory works. And yet it is a symptom and it does affect my life even if it seems normal.
Yeah it’s notmal to exist with only 3 days worth of memory as context for your entire life … uh-huh. Looking around the room for context on what time it is / what you’re doing, that’s a normal thing everyone does. Only having acess to memories when people ask you questions … that’s just how memory works. Forgetting you know someone if you haven’t interacted for a few weeks, even long time friends. Everyone does that. Leaving important possessions places, even things you’ve carried around for years, I must be tiiired.
Add that to the list of "things we never processed as being related to our plurality until years later, it smacked us in the face".
Some non-plural people can keep up with multiple books at once. This is not a sign of plurality on its own. In context, though, it explains a few things we experienced growing up: specifically, the sheer number of books we had to juggle to be able to read at all.
We've each been reading whatever we wanted to read for a long time, and sometimes our tastes in books clashed or contradicted in ways that were very confusing before we figured out that we were plural. There were a lot of moments of "I guess I only like this sometimes" and general frustration at preferences and tolerances shifting unpredictably.
We might bring a book somewhere, only to be unwilling to read it because it seemed boring, poorly-written, or distressing when it was fantastic only an hour beforehand. Other times, we might like the book, but suddenly feel like the past connection and context needed to follow the plot properly was missing. It made deciding what to read both easier and harder. We had plenty of books available to us, but which one would be best to bring along in a given situation, knowing that our feelings around books (and people, and clothes, and activities, and...) might shift while we were out?
Book selection weirdness was one of the many, many things we found ways to work around pre-discovery, all the while wondering why we had to be like this. Reading multiple books at the same time gave us the best shot at one or more books being interesting enough to pick back up and finish. It was easier to find space in a backpack for another book than it was to hunt down one book that could cover all of those "weird moods" of ours.
Nowadays, we like using an e-reader to solve this problem. One book-sized device that's easily portable, doesn't tempt us into other activities like a phone, and holds as many books as we can cram onto it. Your book doesn't work for someone else? They can pick something else without worrying about space constraints.
(If you want a recommendation, we currently use a Kobo Libra. We switched to Kobo when Amazon decided that you couldn't download your purchased ebook files directly anymore, and it's been a solid device.)
Image ID/alt in image, but it's also been duplicated below the cut for those that prefer it.
Begin image ID:
A comic as follows:
Well-meaning adult: "You read so many books! I don't know how you do it."
Blue-colored child semiplural, looking up at the adult: "I read like four or five books at once and pick the book to read depending on how I feel!"
Adult, nervous: "I'd just lose track of them all if I did that!"
Child semiplural: "You don't really! You just kind of remember when you open the book every time."
Many years later:
Blue, rethinking their entire life: "…Huh."
Echo: "In retrospect, maybe having different taste in books isn't a new thing."
Blue scrambles words from time to time, and the results are usually entertaining to the rest of us.
Malapropism (noun): the usually unintentionally humorous misuse or distortion of a word or phrase, especially: the use of a word sounding somewhat like the one intended but ludicrously wrong in the context (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)
(Fittingly enough, the actual word for mixed idioms like this is "malaphor". A malapropism caused by looking for "malaphor" is gloriously ironic here.)
hey can everyone do me a favor and put in the tags why they chose their name? even if you don't go by a chosen name irl, you can put why you chose your online name.
Here, take the current list of our specific journal prompts. They might help you?
(These are sort of tailored toward our experiences as a person with a dissociative disorder but they can probably be used by any system since they're...pretty generic in my opinion? I do use parts language here, though.)
Thoughts on today, if you remember it?
How was today, if you remember?
What's something you're grateful for today?
What worries do you have about [___]? Why?
Do you have any concerns about [___]? Why?
What makes you <happy/angry/etc>? Why?
Do you remember any recent dreams? What were they?
Is there anything bothering you from our dreams? What? Why?
What's your <first/happiest/last/etc> memory?
Have you had any flashbacks recently? Of what, if you want to share? How did coping with them go? Do you want to talk about it at all, either with another part or with the therapist?
Are you dealing with any in system conflict? How does that make you feel? What help do you want? OR: what do you think could possibly be done to resolve it? Do you want to ask the therapist for help at all?
What are your thoughts on [out-system issue?] Do you have any ideas on how we should handle it?
What are your thoughts on how we handled [___]?
What are your thoughts on [person]?
What do you think of [past choice we made]?
What thoughts do you have on [upcoming choice]? What do you think we should do? Why?
Write a letter to another part. Be nice.
Have a conversation with someone nearby inside. Be nice.
What questions do you have for our therapist?
Do you have any issues with our therapist or with therapy? What? Why?
What are your thoughts on FSG [Finding Solid Ground; the program we are doing currently] so far, or in general? What do you find works for you, or at least seems helpful? What has been difficult to use, or seems unhelpful for you?
What are your thoughts on therapy <as of last sssion/so far>?
Do you have anything you want to discuss with the therapist? What? Why?
Who in the system do you <like/dislike/etc>? Why?
Who in the system have you met or interacted with? Who do you want to meet? Why?
What do you think about [our system specific things, like the communication barriers between our subsystems for example, etc]?
Write about <yourself/your role/etc>.
Write about your <interests/hobbies/etc>.
What rules do you follow, if any, inside the system and outside it?
Which rules do you wish you could break? Why <can't/don't> you?
Are there any rules that you do break? Why?
What do you believe in? Why?
What do you wish for? Dream of? Hope for? Why?
What do you think you're good at or are strong at? Why?
What do you feel like you struggle with? Why?
What do you wish you could do/etc? Why?
What do you want to change? Why?
What do you think you're avoiding? Why?
What do you associate with yourself? Why?
What is your idea of safety? OR: What does the word safe mean to you? Why?
What's the most important thing to you? Why?
What does nobody know about you?
What's a word that you think describes you?
How do you imagine our future?
What are your three biggest wishes? Why?
How'd you pick your name, etc (if applicable)?
What does safety mean to you? Why?
What is/are your least favorite emotion/s? Why?
What does recovery mean to you? Why?
What are some things you like about yourself? If you don't know, what things do you like about other parts, or about our friends? Why?
What things are you're proud of accomplishing? Why? If you dont know, what are you proud of other parts or the system as a whole for accomplishing?
Do you like being out? Why, or why not?
What do you want to know about other parts or the system at large, our life, etc?
How do you feel about [___]? Why?
What do you do (role or job wise) in/for the system, if anything? Do you know why? Did you always do this? Etc.
What comforts you? Or: what makes you feel safer, less unsafe, neutral, or more okay/fine?
Who do you trust in the system? Why? Who do you not trust? Why?
What's something you wish others understood about you? Why?
dededos
areudirty
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
tangentwithtanner
izzy806
ellievsbear
