our entire lives people warn us about addictive things. cigarettes, drugs, alcohol. they warn you of the harmful side effects and how one day you could become dependent on these things. eventually though, we grow up.
living in the society that we do, we live in excess. we’re overstimulated. after time, we become suffocated with all of the good around us. we think: “i wonder what it’s like to feel bad?” curiosity gets to us. after all, any information we want is at the disposal of our fingertips. so, we say fuck it.
we ignore all of those warnings. we try smoking, drinking, drugs. why not? we realize that they’re not all bad. i mean, we can have fun and let loose on these things! we can escape for a little bit.
eventually though, we begin turning to these things a little too often. the precautions turn into a growing reality. bad day? have a drink. stressed out? take a hit. we all think we can control it. it won’t affect me, right? before we know it, we’re aching for them as we become reliant.
just like you were told, these things become toxic. poisoning you from the inside out. are you abusing them or are they abusing you? they slowly overcome your being. who are you without them? how did i function - how did i deal before? you’re staring down a bottle and seeing a complete loss of identity.
this is the narrative we’re preached our entire lives. i, like most, have encountered these hazardous habits. what no one warned me about however was the addiction one can develop for a person.
just like these objects, you get a high from being with them. you become wrapped up in the loss of control and feelings they give you.
but, you start to abuse them too. you become dependent. how did i ever exist without them? again, a complete loss of identity as their characteristics slowly start to undermine yours. you’re hooked.
these people, just like their inanimate counterparts, soon become toxic. poisoning you, them, and the relationship.
how did we get to this point? how do i stop? where do i even begin to recover? should i give it up? should i give them up?
withdrawal from humans is very similar to that from substances. the shakes hit when you realize they’re no longer there to hold you. the voices in your head become deafening as they’re not there listening. your mind obsesses over the thought of them. your body aches for their presence.
i knew i was prone to addiction, it runs in my blood. and, im sure if you follow anyone’s lineage, you’ll find a similar story. but, no one warned me for this.
so, this is me speaking to you from recovery: boundaries are healthy; independence is necessary; and, not all addictive things will appear as they are.
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
turnnoffyourmind
