Luv Motel

New Husband. New home New country. New job prospects. New rules. New friends. New social scene. Skate or die.

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Small Town by Hoodie Allen

A short story.

If I don't end up having my baby by midnight tonight I will be two days past my original due date. There has been far worse fates to be had. Just setting the timeline for the women who have had children and understand the tax put on the musculoskeletal & organ systems. Nine months ago today I had not a clue to a fraction of the symptoms that might occur in the last trimester of pregnancy. 

Your private parts actually hurt ... all three of them. Your chest swells to an ungodly size and becomes sore. All the bones surrounding your lady garden, or what one might call a vagina also hurt. Depending on the babies position, the budding lotus otherwise known as your rectum feels consistent pressure due to the weight of your baby resting on top of it. Your ribs expand and a special little bundle of nerves under your ginormous breasts feel all burny and tender, but when you try to drink milk or take Tums because you think its raging heartburn you are surprised that it doesn't work. Then there is actual heartburn; Juno MacGuff put it best when she said "I have heartburn radiating from my knee caps..." To complicate matters further you're lungs, stomach, and intestines get pushed back and/or up so that the baby can completely take over.

To be frank, I seriously have it good. My first trimester was riddled only with nausea. Ralph (vomit) never showed his ugly face. The second trimester was fueled by more energy and the nausea had ceased. This last trimester was more difficult due to a severe respiratory infection, an ear infection, and just your run of the mill "cramped" organs as mentioned above. Honestly some folks ralph for their entire nine months ... yikes.

Now that I have set the canvas for you let me share the exchange between Clarence and I last night as we were getting into bed.

Clarence: (laying in bed) Ho Ho Ho Hold on, wait wait wait don't lay down yet.

LM: (kneeling on the bed) What? Why? I'm busted up tired.

Clarence: Can you see my gym bag in the closet?

LM: No the lights are off.

Clarence: (turns on flashlight app on his iphone and shines it in the closet) There, right there on the floor. Do you see it?

LM: Yeah great, your gym bag is on the floor. Can I go to sleep now?

Clarence: Can you please get me the USB cord out of the side pocket?

LM: Are you serious? You're asking your super pregnant wife to get up and get you a cord?

Clarence: Yeah please???

In Clarence's defense he does a lot for me, has been supportive through most of the tears in the last nine months, and definitely gives me back/foot rubs as needed but for F*ck sake sometimes I do wonder what he is thinking. lol

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Estimated Prophet by The Grateful Dead

Jumping in. It's been almost a year and six months since my last post but a lot has happened since then. Here is the summarized version of my time away.

Two months after my foot healed I quit that painfully awful marketing job and successfully went on to receive my Pilates and Power Yoga Instructor certificates. I taught  327 hours of Power Yoga in the following year and a half. Inclusive of one Yoga charity event that could have turned out better had I realized how deeply devoted the military community is when it comes to Sunday Church. Semi-fail. Next time I will be more mindful about the actual event day. The Animal Rescue team still walked away with a fair amount of donations/contributions for the furry faces of Okinawa prefecture. SIDEBAR: If you are a rescue enthusiast feel free to visit http://www.doggiesinc.org/ to make a donation via paypal. These folks are non-profit all the way. They save both Dogs & Cats from kill shelters every single week. 

Speaking of furry faces; Clarence and I put our own efforts towards rescuing quite a few ferals in our hood. We spent oodles of time and dividends to foster and find homes for eight kitties. We lost one along the way but found homes for five and kept two. *See photo captioned "International Kitties." R.I.P. To Battle Star Gallactica, who put up a good fight but lost his battle with Enemia. BSG rests at a lofty pet sanctuary in the beautiful sub-tropical island of Okinawa, Japan. Props to Clarence for not giving his bat sh!t crazy cat lady wife a hard time when she told him it costs 9,000 yen on top of other vet costs to have him placed in the sanctuary. 

While all of this Yoga & Cat business was taking place I managed to get myself on the Dean's list for the few classes completed shortly before getting knocked up. Even though this particular college wasn't something to write home about I'll still take pride in the fact that I maintained above average grades after being removed from academia for over 19 years. Clarence encouraged me relentlessly. 

Yep you read it right. Clarence and I are officially knocked up. Yesterday was our due date so the waiting game is on. The picture titled "Big Velly Burger," is my stomach at eight months. I used this title because we frequented a sweet little Seaside Cafe in Japan and this item was on the menu. I'm sure they intended for us to know its real meaning "Big BELLY Burger."  

I will conclude with the Birds of Paradise. As of May 2013 we have returned to the states and reside in sunny southern California with our two feral cats and the anticipation of one healthy baby boy or girl in the next week. 

Namaste for now.

*In future posts I hope to disclose amusing stories about cat rescue ops, buying paintings from the street walkers of Japan, our lovely Land Lady and Mr. Kravitz. Stay tuned.

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Any Fun by Coconut Records

The picture taken here was originally by Michael Edwards. It was snapped again by me with my handy iphone so the picture quality is spotty. Anyway, this was in the December 2011 issue of Psychology today, the man pictured is Martin Levin ... he's 92 years old and practices law in New York. 

He started his career in law when he was 65 years old.

This got me thinking. I called Clarence to discuss my new "friend" Martin. Do you know anything about tire jacks? That metal thing that you put under the car to lift it up so you can change the tire.  Right, that thing ... so that is how my conversation went with Clarence. He wasted no time putting me on the tire jack and started pumping me up. (I love him.)

I've decided to get a Bachelors of Science so that I can be a nutritionist. I've already got a handful of A's and a B+ in my Psych class. Can't wait to get my first official grade for the course.

That's where I'm at today. It feels strange and promising.

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Wildcat by Ratatat Black kitty is unofficially my new outdoor cat. Over a morning email Clarence and I named her Battle Cat. I'm not a veterinarian but I do believe she is blind in one eye, it's consistently dilated. I say she is unofficially mine because she still hisses at me when I bring her morsels. She has ceased sprinting off the deck when I unchain the door, and seems to be showing up when I get out of the shower in the morning and shortly after I get home from work. Strategic isn't she? Battle Cat has a kitten. Baby Battle lives in the neighbors yard. It's kind of like an on going nature show over here. I discovered Baby Battle when her Mom took two slices of turkey in her mouth and ran through our yard with it. She crawled under our fence and then jumped over the neighbors fence. Low and behold, Baby Battle emerges from under a bench. And guess who was watching from the hill ... yep, Mr. Battle. Between college, the shape of my brain changing, and Battle Cat ... it seems like Clarence's deployment will go by fast. XO

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: I Love to Move in Here by Moby

Dear Clarence,

I remember when we first met. It was the middle of the summer, 1991, at the Jersey shore. I was hiding in my parents bathroom because I had sunburn like Malin Akerman in "The Heartbreak Kid." An article in Glamour magazine said if I lathered plain yogurt on my burned skin that it would reduce the temperature and redness. Three days were spent locking myself in that bathroom with yogurt on my face because I didn't want you think I was a lobster head.

You on the other hand, had perfect platinum bologna curls that hung loosely around your golden tan face.

We had so much fun that summer driving around super fast like idiots in that little silver car. I still remember staying on the phone with you until 4 a.m. and planning our next adventure.

Its still hard to internalize that we are really married. I found myself missing you too much today. When I looked back at where we had been, it just made me realize how much I actually love you.

Thank you for helping me be the best version of myself. For encouraging me to further my education, not to give up when I feel let down, and for sticking it out with me through insanely tough times.

I'd like to take a moment and tell you what you have to look forward to when you return from Africa:

I promise to wipe up all the water on the basin of the bathroom sink from now on. I'll make my best effort to stop treating it like the Ganges River. I'll stop piling receipts on my writing desk, in kitchen drawers, your night stand, and the coffee table. You can also rest assured that I've started opening the egg carton correctly and you'll likely never have to wipe up another yolk in front of the refrigerator. Lastly, if there was anything I could do about the blonde hair spiders that attack your gym clothes, you know I'd do it.

Thinking about you each day love. xo

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: New Theory by Washed Out

I'm half way through this pot of gold and I almost wish it would never end.

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Listening to: I Need A Dollar by Aloe Blacc

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Listening to: Midnight City by M83

Hisashiburi! (It's been a while!)

Happy One Year Wedding Anniversary to Clarence and myself!

Clarence is off to Africa in just a few days from now. He will be away for six short months. Lucky for us we got to spend the Christmas holiday together and it was Merry. We popped a bottle for our Anniversary and will also be ringing in the new year at Roguii's. So life is good.

It's been an extremely interesting year; I feel that we have learned a ton of things about living with each other. Definitely had some major milestones. In fact this past week we have spent long stretching days in one another's company and we are both still alive.

My foot surgery took place over a week ago and I feel like I've been at a bed and breakfast ever since. In the picture above you'll see waffles topped with fruit & Agave, this was just one of many delightful meals that was prepared for me. I also complained of leg cramps and Clarence surprised me with fun little massage tools that he found at a Japanese store. He said that asking the clerk for a "massager" was super awkward (laughs). Clarence made a buzzing sound and massaged his arm to demonstrate to the store clerk, who in turn, laughed at him and crossed his arms like an "X" while repeating the word "no" over and over. It seems like he thought husband was asking for a naughty toy. Living in another country can have its moments.

Over the past three days, extreme cabin fever was starting to set in; husband took care to treat us to frozen yogurt. He had to carry me around on his back like a baby monkey across a huge parking lot, while I was climbing onto him, he reached around to grab my legs and bashed me on the head with my crutches. It's been a great time and I'll be sad to see him off, but we are going to try and link up in South Africa at the end of his journey and I am looking way forward to it. 

Life seems to be magnified, a thousand times over when husband drizzles his personality on it. Sort of like gourmet chocolate sauce over vanilla ice cream that is just the slightest bit melty. Sweet and perfect. I already miss that cat.

While Clarence is gone, I will bide my time by returning to Japanese lessons and try to start up my Yoga practice when my foot recovers. I am now officially a registered yoga instructor. I am hoping to teach many classes and move away from the office, immersing myself fully into fitness. We shall see.  

Meanwhile, winter is upon us here in Okinawa, the low today will be 62 degrees, the current temperature reads 70 even. All is peaceful. I will try to go on as many solo adventures as possible and be a more active blogger now that I will have oodles of free time.

Until then.

[luvmotel-blog]

Living with other humans part three

Listening to: Wake Up by Arcade Fire

The past several months have been out of control busy. Husband and I both work full time and have been taking classes. On top of that I'm taking yoga classes every day and going to Crossfit three times a week. For the first time in a while I got into bed at 10 pm on a week night. 

When I got off the couch to announce that I was going to sleep, my husband said this "right behind you love!"

After doing all my before bed rituals (washing the day off my face, flossing, brushing blah blah blah) I happened to notice that husband didn't move from the spot he was sitting. So I checked my favorite Instagram accounts ... I just love Nozomioride and Rizzlin. <3.

Still husband remains on the couch and now I hear motorbikes tearing up a dirt track. Wife -0 Motorcross-1

Knowing that I have both yoga and Crossfit on the following day I decided to close the bedroom door and retire without him. 

Exactly 25 minutes later, in the time it took me to drift off into a deep slumber, I am viciously torn from sleep. First I hear a loud crash and then lots of pounding ... like someone was beating down the door attempting to escape the zombie apocalypse.

Now I'm sitting straight up in bed screaming at the top of my lungs "HEEEEEEEEEEY WHATS GOING ON!!!!!!!??????" Over the vibrations of my heartbeat pounding through my ears I hear the door slide open gingerly.

Its none other than Clarence ... standing in the doorway and sheepishly he states "who closed that door?"

From the depths of my soul I wanted to tear his ass in half. I was so alarmed and angry.

To take this even further, he leaves the bedroom for a few moments and I hear him stifling his laughter from the bathroom.

They say two wrongs don't make a right ... I'm going to test that theory. Stay tuned for the results on my lab work.

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Master Blaster by Stevie Wonder

I could hardly concentrate at all during yoga training yesterday. Clarence had a birthday surprise waiting in the wings for me.

When I arrived home our castle was swept, the dishes were in their cupboards, the clothes were laundered and husband was just returning from the market. I immediately felt my shoulders drop an inch further away from my ears. 

At first I threw on some jeans and my favorite sandals. Clarence stated "No no no love, you'll want to put on a dress." This piqued my interest, so I threw on a rarely worn party dress (a double layer, swinging sheer black chiffon A line dress with cap sleeves) and transferred my lipstick and ID into a shimmery gold clutch. I was ready!

Then I hear the kick stands clicking on our bikes, and the wheels rolling over our hardwood floor. Are we riding bikes?

Since Clarence went to all the trouble to defunk our house and arrange a special birthday dinner, I didn't give him any lip about riding a bike in my dress.

The paparazzi stopped by to snap some photos of me on my bicycle; after a few photos and a silent stare that implied "COM' ON!"  We turned our red blinking tail lights on, and coasted down the hilly roads of Okinawa City. A nice cool breeze grazed our shoulders and we pedaled to the playlist of insects in the canopy, they were quite a buzz. 

We came to the final winding road that was pinned with pretty white lights. Finally we were there. The Tokyo Dai-Ichi Hotel stood before us, it was gigantic. The staff was so polite, they stifled their laughter when they valeted our bicycles and handed us a ticket. 

The hotel was really beautiful and the dining experience was even better. Clarence and I had celebratory beers. He ordered a pork dish that was to be cooked at the table on a hot iron plate that sat on top of a ball of fire. He ordered the set dish so his came with vegetables, soup, salad, and Brown Sugar Creme Brule garnished with a single mint leaf. I broke the primal diet that we have been following for nearly 50 days and got a vegetable roll and grilled chicken. For dessert I ordered lime sherbet, my dish came with the famous Chinsuko cookie stuck in the side of it. Clarence got deep fried purple sweet potato sticks, smothered in syrup and butter and stacked like link'n logs. 

Remi was the name of our waitress, we loved her quirkiness. She seemed to enjoy how we practiced our Japanese with her and felt comfortable to ask us how to say a few things in English. 

We had a great time at the Dai-Ichi Hotel. 

Our journey home was hilarious. I don't know what it is about medium sized dogs chasing us when we ride our bikes? Out of absolutely no where, two dogs came barreling towards us barking and nipping at our feet! At first they were tailing Clarence, so he kicked it into high gear ahead of me. It happened so fast. When they realized they would never get him, they turned their focus on me. In my dress and sandals I tried to crank it up but it wasn't working out. The little tan dog was growling and barking at me. Screaming was probably a bad idea, but it squealed out of me because he was centimeters from my ankle bone. Clarence heard this and jumped off his bike while it was moving at top speed. Husband charged towards the dogs. It was like a movie!

The dog made a yipe sound and took off into a dark driveway. He didn't even touch them but they were scared of his dominating glare and posture. 

We were laughing so hard. It was the best birthday that I've had in a really long time. 

Thanks Clarence. xo

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[luvmotel-blog]

Getting older.

Listening to: King of Pain by Alanis Morrisette

It took me nineteen years to figure out how to search for my friends blog on tumblr. A clear indication that I am getting old. GAH!

Also, just before I left New York, I recall seeing a sign on the subway that read "Talk to your kids about Spice before it's too late." I recall thinking at first "What the heck is Spice?" I walked down my block and like a lead pipe it hit me over the head. OMG "Spice" is drugs? I bet "Spice" is drugs.  Eventually I came to the conclusion that I am super old. I had to read about Spice on the subway which means it's probably been around for a year or two. 

Anyway ... she's awesome http://brogog.tumblr.com/. Follow, follow, follow! Be mindful of the fact that she writes during periods of sleep deprivation, its good stuff.

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Purnima Namashkar (Homage to Full Moon) by Chinmaya Dunster

Early Birthday splendor. From Clarence with love <3

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Listening to: Dust My Broom by Ben Harper

It's me. Yes, I've been in my think tank lately, just shuffling around and waiting for something great to happen so that I can write some killer thoughts down and have a post to show for it.

In the recent weeks it seems as though yoga has taken over. This is good and unfamiliar. My senses seem to have super powers now. The positive news is that I've stopped self medicating with M&M's and have replaced them with good music and sometimes a meditation. Inconveniently, I'm still hooked on caffeine. It's all a slow and steady process.

Other odd things are beginning to stimulate me and sometimes I wonder if this is what an acid trip feels like? Two days ago I grabbed the dish soap in a hurry to wash my coffee mug at work and about 15 miniature rainbow coated bubbles fluttered out and danced around each other for what seemed like longer than they should have and finally landed on top of a pool of water in the sink. I stood there staring at them for a while until one by one they bid me farewell. I know what you're thinking ... "she's on that stuff..." but honestly it was a weird moment and it made me pause and smile. I don't think I've ever stopped to admire something so simple.

So that's where I am at, but I'll be back. 

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Come Get With It by Basic Vocab I had no idea I was living with Banksy What you see in all of these pictures is part of our name spray painted of various items that we own. At first I thought, oh ok well husband doesn’t want someone at the office to take off with his coffee mug, or perhaps leaving a dive bag/swim fins unattended could lead to a mix up on the boat and someone walking off with our stuff. But then, I saw things stenciled and spray painted that never leave the house, such as a sit-up bump and a 70 lb kettle bell??

[luvmotel-blog]

Listening to: Trigger Hippie by Morcheeba

My Yoga Teacher Training Course is in full swing! I have just completed my sixth week of training and to be perfectly honest, had no idea that I was signing up for this level of intensity. It's awkward and amazing at the same time.

We meet for practice every Saturday at a Karate Dojo for nine hours, there is no air conditioning, and only one fan. Late August until now continues to be stifling with hot and humid weather here in Okinawa. I can't complain because I miss my Bikram yoga practice from back home, the heat paired with six hours of actual practice feels strikingly similar to Bikram style yoga.  There are eleven students that have come from all over to take this course. Some are natives, some are from mainland Japan, one women is from Ireland and the rest of us are from the states. Everyone brings a different yet positive energy to the class. 

During the first class I felt such a range of emotions, at first I was so excited to be part of something so fun and couldn't wait to absorb all the "enlightenment" that would pour over me. I knew the teacher already from all the yoga classes taken during my lunch hour at the fitness center. She's got a really unique personality, I get this vibe that she is always being her true self. You how sometimes you smile to be polite even when you feel internal rage? It doesn't seem like this ever happens to her. For example if someone ripped the mat out from under her and ran away with it, I feel like she would say something like "I didn't care for that, perhaps she was having a terrible day." And that would literally be the end of it. It's inspiring to watch someone have that much control and it looks painless. 

We each received an illustrated book of anatomy, highlighting all the muscles that are contracting and stretching throughout the body in the different poses. Along with this book we received a notebook, a journal, and an instruction manual that lists the meaning and the focus of each pose with the coaching tips we will give to our students when teaching the poses. This leads me to the next feeling, which was extremely awkward. After we learned the first three poses in the manual we were then told to get into groups and teach each other. Teaching a stranger something while demonstrating the pose proved to be very overwhelming for me for the first three classes. I was red in the face, sweating up a storm, and had marbles in my mouth. I couldn't stand myself and dreaded this part of the course. I felt waves of relief when the instructor told us it was time to break for lunch or that we would have a guest speaker for an hour. This anxiety has somewhat dissipated over the last three weeks and I finally feel like it's becoming more natural. 

There are 121 pages in the manual and almost all of them have poses to learn, this past Saturday we finally wrapped up the last of the poses. Every Sunday I wake up with sore triceps, hamstrings, back, shoulders, and hips. After the first class even my ribs were sore. I thought I would never make it.

Alas I am still alive and really digging the course.

Our latest homework assignment (among many others) is to start teaching yoga for 60 minutes to at least one person per week. Clarence volunteered his time and attention to be my student.

Allow me to set the stage for you:

First we rearranged the living room, moving all the furniture to the side, we lit candles, dimmed the lights and flipped on the "Spa" station via Serius Radio. It was great. 

Clarence disappeared into the bedroom to put on his yoga ensemble. He showed up wearing a speedo. I tried really hard to be professional and not burst into a laughing fit. I proceeded to ask my student if this was his first yoga class and he didn't raise his hand, then I asked if it was his first class with me and he raised his hand eagerly. 

We moved through the practice pretty gracefully. It was really great to have the spa music in the back drop. I was making everything up as I went along and feeling quite confident about it. It made me think that if I actually mapped out a few different routines that I might have a decent yoga class going upon graduation. I could have used more warrior poses mid class, and I forgot about the standing balancing poses, however Clarence is currently nursing a pulled hamstring and elbow so doing without them was to his benefit, as he is still in phase one of recovery mode.

Clarence gave excellent feedback about my class, listing my strengths and things that needed improvement. He has requested that I conduct class in our living room three times a week. I can't wait!

Lastly, I was astounded by Clarences headstand and ability to hold the posture for several yoga breaths! 

*Namaste*

[luvmotel-blog]

RIP CHI Flat Iron

Listening to: Spacewalk by Starkey

Just a small happening and safety advisory ... when flat ironing your hair and multi-tasking be sure to put the lid of the toilet seat down.

Last week I stepped on the cord while reaching for my make-up bag and sent the iron right into the toilet. At first I was scared of getting electrocuted so I called for Clarence to assist me as I watched the searing hot flat iron expel a black liquid into the toilet.

He walked in and unplugged it without hesitation. (ugg.)

The next day I felt so lucky that the local base exchange had my exact item in stock and I wouldn't have to wait an entire light-year to receive a new one. (shipments to this island have been delayed as of late due to imaginary typhoons).

Upon purchasing this item I hear husband say "One hundred dollars!?" and then I remind him that he just purchased another motorcycle (#4) for several thousand dollars without one gripe from the likes of me. 

Sometimes I have to send him gentle reminders that he is over reacting by way of folded arms and a face that depicts "are you F'ing serious?"

We're still friends.