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[laserdeadpool]

[feministbatwoman]

#thank u for ur honesty magneto

[giantscottbakula]

“Magneto proclaims himself as the supreme gay, but considers that Thor might be gayer.”

[heyitsmorris]

Confirmed: magneto is a top but he’d bottom for thor

[that-twink-over-there]

Wouldn’t we all

[catchymemes]

[andletsbringpearl]

I’m really gay

[lubricates]

Me: I’m a bad bitch! I don’t take shit from anyone! I’m not nice!

Also me: well I can’t just leave this cart in the middle of the parking lot. I have to take it to the cart return. I’m not an animal. Those employees work hard.

[swansongofuyulala]

A real bad bitch respects minimum wage workers

[cyanicas]

[nudityandnerdery]

[lycantzar]

I don't call Trump a piece of shit because that's offensive to actual shit...

[zwischendenstuehlen]

Have you ever wondered where books come from?

Well then, let me show you, because that’s what I do for a living.

Right now, it’s this time of the year, and the little ones have just freshly hatched:

You’ll notice they’re still blind and naked when they hatch. So I make them little coats to keep them warm during their first winter:

See how they happily line up to put them on:

See? Better. Now they’re ready to go and explore the world.

And if they make it through the winter and we take good care of them, they will grow up to be strong and wise like their older fellows:

So, in case you were ever wondering, now you know.

[bluelightseven-deactivated20140]

[allofthefeelings]

As a Publishing Professional I can say that this is 10000% accurate, and I am a little concerned you’re just giving away all of our industry secrets on Tumblr.

[neil-gaiman]

I am a famousy awards-winning author of BOOKS and I endorse this post.

[notthebestomens]

I’ve seen this post 800 times and am only now realising that Neil Gaiman endorsed this post

[outofcalms-archived]

“Jecht loved you.”

“He just didn’t know how to express it, he said.”

“Just thought you should know.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[lycantzar]

@galatheria

[badsciencejokes]

I’m always 1 and 3 but change every 14 seconds — view on Instagram http://bit.ly/2MflY3s

[lycantzar]

Incomplete without Rocket Racoon!

[alrightlupin-deactivated2016112]

Bruce Wayne watched both of his parents die.

Tony Stark has heart problems and anxiety.

Peter Parker saw his uncle being murdered.

Steve Rogers lost his best friend.

Bruce Banner attempted suicide.

If they can save the world, you can get through this day.

Never stop fighting.

[womanthouartloosed]

none of these people are real

[charaznable]

god forbid kids be allowed to draw comfort and inspiration from fiction i mean what do you kick puppies for fun

[almost-always-eventually-right]

Robert Downey Jr. was incarcerated on two separate drug charges. He broke and in and out of prison because of his self-destructive addiction to booze and never-ending quantities of weapons-grade drugs. He was reduced at one point to earning eight cents an hour scrubbing pizza pans in the kitchen of the LA County Jail. There were several nights where, claiming to be targeted by other inmates, he woke up in a puddle of his own blood.

He was already on parole after being arrested for racing his car drunk along Sunset Boulevard while in possession of a stash of drugs and an unloaded .357 magnum revolver. On another occasion, he was arrested whilst naked and hallucinating at the wheel of his Porsche.

At his darkest hour, he was found in the fetal position in a rat-infested alley behind a dingy LA hotel. During one of a litany of court appearances on drugs charges, he told a judge: ‘Taking drugs to me is like having a shotgun in my mouth with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gun metal.’

Now the former laughing stock of Hollywood is one of the biggest stars of our generation, a star you pay huge bucks to get in and elevate a film.

If a person can come back from that, if a person can get out of an addiction to drugs of that outrageous caliber, and do as well as he did in spite of everything that had happened during that –– as he called it –– twenty year coma, then chances are you can pull through what you’re having to struggle to get through right now and come out the other end.

[laschatzi]

that real enough for you, bitch?

[lycantzar]

Wow, that escalated quickly...

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

Using a series of sensors, Dua’s bot detects when a person is about to run into something and beeps to them. The project took her a total of four days to build. Her prize is every Marvel fan’s dream.

Follow @the-future-now​

[lovesjustachemical]

!!!!! Get this out there. Make sure she’s not shut down because existing industries are greedy.

[rosmaryne]

tbh spider-man is such a chill superhero you could ask him to escort you home bc you don’t feel safe and he’d be like ‘ok sure no sweat’ I’m sure he’d even help you with your groceries meanwhile the other avengers be like ‘the world isn’t in danger so you don’t need my help’

[psyducktective]

Thor would help with your groceries fight me

[rosmaryne]

you are abso-fucking-lutely right

[krakenartificer]

This is such a weird post because it FEELS right. You’re nodding, yeah yeah, totally. That’s how superheroes are. And it holds together until you think about any given member of the avengers

Thor? Thor would LOVE to escort you home, and would help get stuff to that top shelf you have trouble reaching. Cap? I mean, Steve Rogers is practically defined by his willingness to carry your groceries for you.  Iron Man? Look, getting Tony Stark to take your groceries home is the easy part. It’s getting him to stop that’s the trick; he wants to build you an automatic grocery-carrying drone or set up a recurring home delivery order that’s charged to his account.  After you turn down his offer to buy you a new house, you wake up the next morning to find that he’s paid off your student loans and pledged $10,000/month to your Patreon.  Hulk?  Bruce would be in tears if someone came up to him and asked for an escort home because they feel safer with him nearby.  He’d name his next discovery after you.  Hawkeye? He’d walk you home, telling you dumbass dad jokes the whole time, and teach you some ASL.  Then he’d put all your groceries away and show you how to make a pot roast.  Black Widow? Well, OK, she might not walk you home. But she would fuck up anyone and everyone in your neighborhood who made you feel unsafe.  There’d be bullies on your block who would cry every time they even thought about catcalling. And idk. I feel like maybe the problem is in our relationship to superheroes – that we think of them saving the world, and we forget that most good is done at street level.  Or maybe what Spiderman has is some kind of relatability.  Because the OP does feel right. Any of the avengers would help us … but Spiderman is the only one we would ask to help us.  Because he feels like a friendly neighborhood buddy.  And maybe that’s a superpower on its own.

[goodmorningm0therfucker]

[lycantzar]

@galatheria

[jeremiahrage]

[lycantzar]

@galatheria

[emilysidhe]

Baby It’s Cold Outside discourse is the same as Macbeth discourse. 

[dont-spoop-yourself]

Explain?

[emilysidhe]

OK, so one of the big debates in Macbeth involves the scene in which Lady Macbeth talks Macbeth into killing King Duncan.  People debate strenuously over whether it’s a scene of Lady M pressuring her reluctant husband into it, or whether it’s a scene of her sensing, due to their emotional intimacy, that this murder is something her husband secretly wants and has partially internally decided to do, and is arguing him into it in order to help him give himself permission to do it, in the same way that people see their loved ones wavering over the dessert menu and jump in with things like, “Go on, get the cheesecake, it’s your birthday!”  Readers and scholars disagree strenuously about this - we even studied an incident in college in which two 18th century illustrators attended the same performance and happened to draw the scene the day after, producing two images that advanced opposite interpretations even though they’d seen the exact same actors do the exact same performance.  It’s a big deal.

In the same way, the Baby, It’s Cold Outside discourse is about whether this is a song about sexual harassment, or whether it’s a woman singing about how she wishes she could spend the night with the guy she just had an excellent date with if only the neighbors wouldn’t talk, and him responding, “Stay, baby, it’s cold out!  No one could expect you to go home in this!”

[ms-demeanor]

I really don’t know (baby stab his side) King Duncan’s a bro (baby cut through his hide) I like him a lot (That decrepit old sot?) This plan ain’t so great (But what a king you’d make!)

The guards might worry (Darling, do it in a hurry!) His sons will rush the door (So knock them on the floor.)

I’m not such a knave (Bash his head with a stave) But I’d be a good king (Now you’re starting to think)

The dukes might all talk (But their chatter means naught) Say, love, what do you mean (You’d make such a king)

I simply must go (baby cut through his hide) There’s a war on you know (baby cut through his hide)

But what of his wife? (And what of his life?) It feels like bad luck (But that don’t mean much)

I’ve got a bad premonition (And I’ve got a mission) But that’s just superstition (My love, you’re a vision)

The witches said I’d rule (If they lied they were cruel) So baby let’s stab Stab his siiiiide!

[heyylittlesongbird]

@dukeofbookingham ?

[dukeofbookingham-deactivated202]

This is the only version of this song I ever want to hear

[lycantzar]

@galatheria

[cupcakelogic]

[alexenglish]

Nyle DiMarco & Chella Man Teach Us Queer Sign Language  [see captions for sign descriptions]

[brigwife-deactivated20240426]

I don’t know what it is about Star Wars but even if it’s not your biggest fandom, it still has the funniest memes by a long shot I mean “look at all the fucks i give anakin” and “your poncho is a piece of junk” and anakin hates sand it’s all just 1000% pure class

[brigwife-deactivated20240426]

YOU CAN’T BEAT THIS SHIT

[d-exclamation]

And my new favorite:

[scarecrowqueen]

@tygermama

[polyhorde]