signs at stores? émail? menu ?? instruction ? post online ? caption with andswer to question ? group hand outs ??? street sign ??? no. The Written Word Is The Enemy
#The number of compliments i have gotten for reading a thing
The ability to occasionally Read A Thing will make you a hero in your workplace, especially if it is for example an error message that tells you what you need to do differently, or instructions on unjamming a printer.
This started as attempt to read every issue of every series where Dick and Tim interacted. It’s kind of spiraled from there, into this thing - an attempt at cataloguing what the Batfamily call each other, and how it’s changed over time.
I love this post so much I have done everything in my power to make sure I will never forget it via reblogging it every October 5th, in memory of discovering it for the first time
Alfred is known for a very regimented way of speaking. That makes him a good first candidate for a deep dive into how Batfamily characters address each other.
(See the other posts HERE.)
DIRECT REFERENCE (Talking TO the person)
The main pair of terms Alfred uses are ‘Master/Miss [given name]’ and ‘Sir/Miss’.
His usage of ‘Sir/Miss’ is proportional to how close his relationship is with who he’s adressing - Bruce is ‘Sir’ 69% of the time, while we have no examples of Babs or Cass as ‘Miss.’
His usage of given name is inversely proportional to how close his relationship is with who he’s adressing (and how often he’s using ‘Sir/Miss’) – Babs is ‘Miss/Mistress Barbara’* 67% of the time, but Bruce is ‘Master Bruce’ only 25% of the time.
*Writers don’t always understand proper forms of address. ‘Mistress Barbara’ is just incorrect to use, and ‘Miss Barbara’ isn’t really appropriate for an adult friend of the family.
The only person who gets directly addressed as ‘Mr/Miss [surname]’ is Babs. Which IS proper. ‘Miss Gordon’ is used 17% of the time.
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Alfred is more likely to use a preferred name over a formal name, with people he’s close to. He uses ‘Master Tim’ 32% of the time, and ‘Master Timothy’ only 13%. ‘Master Dick’ is 24%, while ‘Master Richard’ is 14%. (And ‘Master Richard’ is pretty rare before Dick became the head of the house. Alfred retreated into extra formality after Bruce’s ‘death’, either to emphasize his support of Dick’s new positition, or to hide from his emotions.)
With Bruce’s sons, he varies between ‘Sir’ and “Young Sir.’ This tapers off as they get older.
Jason was always ‘Young Sir’
Damian is ‘Young Sir’ 14% of the time, and ‘Sir’ only 5%
Tim is ‘Young Sir’ only 6% of the time, and ‘Sir’ 19%
Dick is ‘Young Sir’ less than 1% of the time, and ‘Sir’ 46%. (Especially after he becomes head of the house.)
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Major other forms of address are ‘Lad’, ‘Young Man/Lady’, and ‘Dear Boy/My Dear’. He also addresses multiple kids as ‘Boys.’ There’s a similar distribution to ‘Young Sir’ – the terms taper off as the kids get older.
Bruce is ‘Lad’ 1% of the time
Dick is ‘Lad’, ‘Young Man’, and ‘Dear Boy’ 4% of the time
Tim is ‘Lad’, ‘Young Man’, and one of the ‘Boys’ 10% of the time
Damian is ‘Young Man’, and one of the ‘Boys’ 14% of the time
Cass is ‘My Dear’ 14% of the time
Steph is ‘Young Lady’ 17% of the time
Jason is ‘Lad’ 25% of the time
Damian is the only kid directly given a familial title – Alfred addresses him as ‘Son’ once.
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He tends to only use given names when his charges are vulnerable. Also, it seems to be vastly more common with Tim. Here, the preferred vs. formal distinction is reversed.
Tim is ‘Timothy’ 13% of the time, and ‘Tim’ only 6%
Dick is ‘Richard’ 6% of the time, and ‘Dick’ less than 2%
Bruce is ‘Bruce’ 2% of the time
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Alfred only uses codenames when there is no other option, and even then, mostly with the ladies.
Babs and Steph get codenames 17% of the time (Babs is, wonderfully, ‘Miss Oracle’)
Cass gets a codename 14% of the time
Dick is 2%
Bruce is less than 1%
He never directly addresses one of the younger boys by codename (that I’ve found)
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INDIRECT REFERENCE (Talking ABOUT the person)
When indirectly referring to people, Alfred makes a clear distinction between family and family friends. Both Babs and Steph are referred to as ‘Miss [surname]’ 50% of the time. The only other person who gets this treatment is Bruce, who is ‘Mr. Wayne’ 4%, and ‘Mr. Bruce Wayne’ 1% of the time, when Alfred wants to be especially formal.
(It’s possible that ‘Master Grayson’ (2%) for Dick, and ‘Master Wayne’ (1%) for Bruce, are other examples. That is an appropriate, but old fashioned, way to refer to a child. But I’d need to check the exact issues to make sure.)
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‘Master/Miss [given name]’ remains most common in most situations. But:
Babs is ‘Miss Gordon’ 50% and ‘Mistress Barbara’ only 37.5% (and that 37.5% is way to much)
Steph is ‘Miss Brown’ 50%, ‘Young Stephanie’ 25%, and ‘Miss Stephanie’ 25%
Jason is ‘Jason’ 29% and ‘Master Jason’ only 24%
For the others, is ranges from 47% for Bruce, to 71% for Dick.
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Given names are more common in indirect reference than direct. Other than what’s already been mentioned,
Cass is ‘Young Cassandra’ 20% of the time
Damian is ‘Damian’ 15% of the time
Tim is ‘Tim’ 8% and ‘Timothy’ 2% of the time
Bruce is ‘Bruce’ 7%
Dick is ‘Dick’ and ‘Richard’ each 2.4% of the time
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As a counterpart of the direct address ‘Sir’, Alfred refers to Bruce as ‘(The) Master’ when he isn’t present 15% of the time.
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Alfred continues to use terms like ‘Lad’, ‘Boy/Girl/Child’, and ‘Young Man/Lady’ when indirectly addressing people (9% to 24% of the time with family). Even Cass is included, though that might have been because she didn’t have a name he could use for a while! Groups of kids are ‘(The) Lads’ or ‘(The) Boys’.
Alfred is slightly more open to familial terms when the person isn’t there. He’s willing to refer to Bruce as ‘My Son’ (1%) and ‘[His/Your/The] Father’ (7%) after he has died. Jason is a ‘Son/Ward’ 5% of the time after HIS death. And Dick gets to be referred to as Bruce’s ‘Ward’ 2% of the time even WITHOUT dying!
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Full names:
Jason is ‘Jason Todd’ 12% of the time
Tim is ‘Timothy Drake’ 8% of the time
Dick is ‘Dick Grayson’ 5% of the time
Bruce is ‘Bruce Wayne’ 3% of the time
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Finally, Alfred is quite a bit more comfortable using codenames when talking about people.
Instead of doing NanoWriMo I will be doing something where I try to aim for writing an actual average of 400 words a day for the month of November in memory of Terry Pratchett, who as far as I know never thought telling a computer to write a book for you is a good way to hone your skills as a writer.
I LOVE THIS. THIS is the spirit of NaNoWriMo: to invent a challenge to make you write.
If I may add some ideas:
The 666 challenge: Writing six pages a day in a month (no matter how shitty) because Stephen King writes 6 pages a day. Equating it with the devil is to explain why it's shit sometimes.
The 420 challenge: Get high. Write 420 words a day.
THE OTHER 51 challenge: Write 51 words a day because, yes, Hamilton wrote 51 essays in six months, but that bitch was crazy, and you can write 51 words without feeling like you're running out of time.
The Fibonacci challenge: Try to write as many words a day as required to meet the Fibonacci sequence. So, 100 on day one. 200 on day two. 300 on day three. Etcetera. If you don't hit the number in the sequence, you can respond "DO I LOOK LIKE A MATHIMATICIAN TO YOU"
If you wanna NaNo your heart out at 1667 a day, absolutely do that. Enjoy it! But if start talking now if you're looking for a group who will join you and not try to fuck AI up its server-hole.
Team up with an artist and try to finish the same 30 art challenge.
Aim to finish 1 chapter a day, there's multiple versions of outlines and the heros journey that are 18-27 chapters long.
Challenge yourself to describe a different setting everyday, bonus points if you make something normal very weird and something very weird normal.
Write a short story in a different genre everyday, it's a chance to stretch your skills and maybe even learn about new genres!
Write a letter from each of your characters. It's a chance to get to know their voice a little better and to explore them, what would they write about and to who?
A long time ago I was in a small forum I think titled Gothober and it was write a gothic/spooky book in October. I kinda wanna host it here on tumblr as the forum is long gone. Help me pick a better name for it though 😂
I feel like in the rush of “throw out etiquette who cares what fork you use or who gets introduced first” we actually lost a lot of social scripts that the younger generations are floundering without.
A lot of tough situations where we now feel like we “don’t know what to do or say” had social scripts just a couple of generations ago and they might have been canned phrases or robotic actions but they could still be meant sincerely and unfortunately we haven’t replaced them with any more sincere or easier new script.
a lot of people are giving examples in the notes of things they just find annoying like not using headphones in public, but OP is talking about actual literal scripts of things to say in awkward situations
if you have a date or two with someone and you don't see a relationship developing? most millennials / gen Zers just end up ghosting. but a social script that might have been taught and rehearsed in the past could be:
"I really appreciated getting dinner with you the other night and I enjoyed your company, but I'm afraid I didn't feel a spark. I wish you the best, and hope you find that special someone!"
like it sounds kind of trite but it was at least something to say and it can still be meant with kind sincerity. it also communicates in 2 sentences that you don't want to see them romantically again, but there aren't any hard feelings about that. that's it!!! that's all it takes!!!
Another example is that at parties a lot of people talk about how awkward it is to mingle or talk to people they dont know. But at old timey parties that was traditionally the HOST'S job, and there was a specific scripted way of doing it that eased the process! The host would bring you in, introduce you and maybe even a little bit about you like what you did for a living, and then guide you to a group you could talk to. They didn't just let you in the door and then ditch you to fend for yourself in a sea of strangers. That would be unthinkable and no one would be surprised if a get-together like that wound up being awkward.
A really good host would actually provide a topic of conversation based on things you and the person they were introducing you to had in common.
At networking events I've gone to, where there's no host who knows everybody, good networkers pick up the slack. They go around the room once making just enough small talk to learn some useful info about a good portion of of the people in the room, and then circle back around and go, "Oh hey I was just talking to X over there and he's looking for someone who does Y for his next project; you should go talk to him." You can do something similar at parties, referring people to other people you made smalltalk with you have the same hobbies or like the same kind of movies.
To take a few steps back up the thread to the part about turning down future dates, the same goes for turning down shitty job offers.
"[Thank you for your interest]/[Thank you for thinking of me for this role], however I'm afraid [I have prior commitments]/[I'm not a good fit] at this time. I wish you the best of luck [finding the right fit for your company]/[with your startup endeavor]"
Delete or substitute more relevant lines as appropriate, but it's a polite way of saying "no" without feeling like you need to overexplain.
Increasingly, people -- millennials and younger, rarely anyone older -- will not get the hint about this and get pushy, fishing for extra information to let them work around the Polite No, which in previous generations would have been incredibly rude. It's still incredibly rude, at which point the polite response is, "Thank you, but I gave you my final answer. Best of luck!" no matter how many times they come back. Become a broken record until they go away.
More depressingly, but no less usefully, we used to have common scripts for things like grief and mourning: what to say when it feels like there is nothing that could possibly be said.
Like-- just because it's a script doesn't mean it isn't sincere. And it's often a damn sight better than saying nothing at all.
The most consistent and reliable resource I've seen for, at least American-style, etiquette instruction is Emily Post, of newspaper column and etiquette book fame.
There's a website now that's organized by family business, and has not only a section dedicated to business etiquette, but also the general etiquette page is full of information sorted by topic.
the thing is, stephen king is generally pretty good at creating complex, well-rounded characters, which makes it all the more jarring when one of those characters abruptly comes out with what i'll term a "kingism". i don't know how best to define a kingism other than "you'll know it when you see it". it's the voice of the author intruding on the voice of the character, and in this case the voice of the author has a bad sense of humour and is ravenously, inexplicably horny
one of the hallmarks of a kingism is that when a character is being Horny On Main (or In Maine), they can never do it in a normal way. they have to come up with a sequence of words that nobody has ever said before in the history of the english language. here's another example:
theartofmadeline
kaledo-art
turnnoffyourmind
prguitarman
izzy806
