probable heathen @lyrical-death - Tumblr Blog

brain: shake leg

me: why

brain: sHAKE LEG

*leg starts bouncing uncontrollably irritating everyone around*

brain: never stop

sociallychallengednerd

what if lawn mowers are so loud because they have to cover the screams of the grass being massacred.

adobe-outdesign

cakejam

wow what version of windows do u have this is 2014

yeoja

when ur friends dont find ur self depreciating jokes funny anymore but u cant stop

howdyhannaa

REAL Donald Trump not fake (all real)

slightmood

*brings my foot to my mouth to take a drag of a cigarette* i personally think that ‘the arctic monkeys’ are called that as a means of symbolizing the cold, hard pieces of shit life flings at you,

pastabot

shaklra

my aunt gets a little too wild sometimes

audrocur-deactivated20221128

railroadsoftware

yes!!!! ☕️☕️☕️ honestly

notchicken

I can’t believe a radio station just killed Meghan Trainor

sftn-deactivated20170702

me: men aren’t inherently evil and have the capacity to be loving, vulnerable and empathetic human beings

men: *try their absolute damndest to prove me wrong*

angelicaschuyler4president-deac

OUR SCHOOL WENT ON A TRIP TO TO THE ZOO TODAY AND HAD TO STOP THE BUS BECAUSE SOMEONE SNEAKED A FREAKING PENGUIN ONTO THE BUS OMG MY CHEMISTRY TEACHER WAS CRYING WHEN SHE TOLD US OMG I ACTUALLY DIED

angelicaschuyler4president-deac

YOU GUYS YOU DONT UNDERSTAND OUR SCHOOL IS ACTUALLY BANNED FROM AN ACTUAL ZOO BECAUSE SOMEONE DECIDED TO TRY AND STEAL AN ACTUAL REAL LIVING PENGUIN AND TAKE IT HOME

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

dajo42

when you and your best friend both think the same thing

me doing stand up: and what about the rain? when she comes here she cleanses us, and is good. we love the rain.

audience: we love the rain.

radvillain-deactivated20160604

i hear sum dudes dont like cellulite on women.. that’s wild.. u childish if that apply 2 u.. u a child, brah.. u a baby.. imma burp u.. oop.. got ur nose..