do i help or do i kill

ind prv selective sideblog by spider, it/itself, 25+

[m0retapes]

Marble Hornets sideblog penned by spider ! low low low low activity. 32, its/itself

tim / jay / alex / brian / evan (not currently writing HABIT)

going to the Ark with @d0ingfine

the brian patrick to my tim && the dr corenthal to my evan, @musecastle

evan's beloathed shadow, @antlurabbit

rules:

My characters are trans unless I want to write them as cis just don't worry about it. it's fine

i don't really do proxies on this blog. Alex is the closest in the OG canon to a "proxy" but even that is complex.

this blog dives a lot into dissociation and memory loss as horror, as well as occasional dips into gorekink or predprey so :)))) they'll all be tagged carefully.

[uniiicornmemes]

On anon or not, tell me what YOUR headcanons for my muse are.

[m0retapes]

Come on man, no pain no gain, told himself that a million times at the gym, right?

///

Emo emo emo about Evan and toxic masculinity and how he found a home in gym culture and now he's using the comforts of that old safety net to console himself through this experience (both HABIT in general but also specifically this thing w Vi)

[pitytherabbit]

She'd wondered why he'd let her stay in bed, allowed her body to rest over his borrowed one. Usually, she'd be used and put aside, able to roam to her heart's content or locked away until he needed her again for something or other. It'd been so strange to fall asleep beside him, but she'd been too exhausted to reject it. Dealing with the aftermath had just been too much to so much as consider.

By the time she's pinned in place, she knows exactly why. Her immediate reaction is to panic and squirm, attempting to free herself of a grip she knows very well is too strong for her. She wants to know what's going on, still a little exhausted, still in pain, wondering who she's dealing with. When only silence comes to greet her, she knows. She knows.

"I'm sorry-" She whimpers and the words feel empty no matter how much guilt she fills them with. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry-"

Jury's out on the necessity of the apology, but her internal gallery of judgmental peers has already made their call. She did what she did — laid there and took it and tried to enjoy whatever she could therein. There lays her sin: trying to find something, anything to cling to in her disastrous life and hurting the only one she truly cared about in the process. All impulse and bad decisions, she is and always has been and very likely would always be.

"Evan," She gasps his name like she truly can't fucking breathe. "Please- Tha' hurts-"

And it's true. Not wholly the fault of his forceful rutting. HABIT liked to play rough with his toys. Liked to make her bleed when he fucked her, leave her tight cunt sore and raw. She's sure Evan's body isn't in much better shape, not after all the beating and screwing it'd been used for.

Of course he only gets the memories that paint her in the worst light. Natural that he never see the snot crying, the pleading, the way she misses him when he's not around. The way she misses him right now as her skull cracks against the headboard, worsening a pre-existing ache.

"Nnno- nonono- please, not like him-"

@m0retapes

[m0retapes]

he wants to fuck her hard, rough, ruin and wreck her.

the angry fire in his gut is willing but the body is weak, burnt out, exhausted. His voice is a fried rasp of poat-HABITS theatrical shouting, his own panting, and the feeling in his throat that's not, not, not, definitely not sorrow or shame and instead a rage, fury, swallowing the knot in his throat--

"not like him? you want me t'fuck ya all pissed off like I am? I ain't about to be lovey dovey. You gonna beg me to be gentle with you after..."

After you--

After he--

He swallows the acid down.

He paused for a moment, watches her catching her breath, her shoulders and ribcage expanding and shaking beneath him. He drags himself out, slowly, watches the tension building in her as she knows what's coming and he slams into her once, forces himself to bottom out into her. A heavy grunt as, God God God she feels amazing he wishes he wasn't so used and abused right now, wishes he could enjoy this properly. Wishes his body didn't feel like a raw flayed nerve ending. But he's gotta make her pay, make her cry. he pushes himself through the pain and lets out a shaky, exhausted grunt right at her ear.

Come on man, no pain no gain, told himself that a million times at the gym, right? Not sure if he's muttered it out loud to her in this moment.

[m0retapes]

something something the arc vi and Evan go on in Evans mind From not just like "I hate her" but specifically the queerness of it

seeing vi as this slut that's helped take his happiness & peace from him / eventually she becomes this trophy/prize/idealized woman as they case each other across interations & then in candleverse she finally becomes this like Complex Human being in his eyes / I haven't quite decided on his gender sexuality journey but also God they're just so queer and he starts to love her in a deeper "I want this person to be by my side forever as a whole complex person" / uhhh the rest of this idea or story arc is kinda blurry and still being written but I just think Evans journey processing his Toxic Masculinity / mild Mysoginy / coming to terms w the various types of assault he's been thru but in parallel w his relationship w Vi.

Does this make sense please tell me this makes sense oh my god.

( @pitytherabbit mwah mwah mwah)

[timwrightsrighthook]

Stomp on him

[dappermouth]

i can understand the trials but were the tribulations really necessary

[timwrightsrighthook]

🙄🙄🙄

[timwrightsrighthook]

[m0retapes]

-- ANOTHER TEXT FROM AN UNKNOWN NUMBER, telling him hey, this is kinda weird but we should meet. And a picture.

He'd gotten used to it. Someone on twitter had found his number and shared it. It had been annoying at first but now it was comforting.

He had someone to talk to at least, someone besides Jessica. At least the strangers in his phone knew the truth about his situation, compared to the constant lies.

But this one? This woman looked just like him. Well, just like him before he'd gotten on testosterone. Had his mother ever mentioned a twin?

God, did he even remember his mother's name at this point?

So much more than time has been taken, indeed.

This is kind of the worst time for a family reunion. She could be anyone, just someone who looks like him. Weren't some people saying that there were legends that THAT THING could change it's face? What if she was sent by Alex somehow? Or Tim, or the man in the hoodie?

The worst time for a family reunion, just kept playing in his mind as this annoying one liner. But at least the drive to the greyhound bus station broke up some of the monotony. It was something to do besides obsess over the tapes, over Alex, over Amy, over Tim...

The bus pulled into the station, and she stepped off. He had his camera in his hands, aimed up at her face. Framed the shot just-so.

still debating if he was going to upload this to the channel or not.

"Over here! Hey!" He felt himself smiling, nodding as he waved.

Maybe he wasn't alone anymore.

// @vacillateur

[memeasaurus-promptus]

Give me two characters and a word and I will write a <100 word drabble

[roleplaymemeworld]

𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 & 𝐁𝐑𝐔𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐒

                                                     𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐑𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐄𝐌𝐄                                       

“You’re dripping blood on the carpet.” “When I said scars are kinda sexy, I didn’t mean you should get one right away…” “Press that against the wound, I’m going to get the med kit.” “It’s bleeding quite badly.” “Oh God, what happened to you?!” “You’re covered in blood! Is it yours?” “Your head looks pretty bad. I’m sure it’ll need stitches.” “It’s going to hurt for a moment, but I’ll need to clean the wound.” “I’m so sorry this happened to you. But you’re safe now.” “That’s a pretty nasty bruise. Want some ice?” “Does it still hurt?” “I don’t think a band aid is gonna fix this…” “Whoa, hey, stay with me! You’re as white as a ghost. Don’t pass out.” “Damn, that must hurt. I’m sure there are some painkillers around here.” “You have to be seen by a doctor. This isn’t going to heal on its own.” “It looks broken. Can you move it at all?” “Here, lean on me. I’ll support you.” “I’m not going to leave you behind. If need be, I’ll carry you.” “I’m going to pick you up now, okay? Just hold on to me.” “Everything is going to be okay. Just hang in there.”

“I don’t feel so good.” “It’s seeping through the bandages.” “My head is throbbing. I think I have a concussion.” “I can barely breathe, it hurts so bad!” “It looks worse than it is. I’m sure it’ll be gone in a couple of days…” “You should see the other one.” “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want your pity.” “It was my fault, really. I wasn’t paying attention and got hit in the face.” “Getting stabbed wasn’t really on my bucket list.” “I don’t think I can walk.” “Leave me behind, please. I’m just going to slow you down.” “Am I going to die?” “I can’t stop the bleeding.” “I think the bruise matches my eye color.” “Don’t touch it, please! It hurts.” “I don’t want to go to a hospital. I hate doctors!”

[mythshire]

⋆ · 𖤓 · ⋆ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 ··· a collection of first loves and found family, the quiet courage of being seen, learning to take up space in a world that asked you to make yourself small. genre: romance, hurt and comfort, self discovery, queer joy.

I've been practicing saying it in the mirror for three weeks. It still doesn't sound real.

You're the first person I've told. I need you to understand what that means.

Don't make it a big deal. Also — it's the biggest deal of my life.

I knew when I was seven. I just didn't have the word for it yet.

You looked at her the same way I look at her. I think that's when I knew I wasn't alone.

Say it with me. You don't have to say it to anyone else. Just say it with me first.

My family doesn't know. I need tonight to just be about us knowing.

I came out twice today. Once on accident.

You held my hand in public and I forgot how to breathe for a second.

I spent so long pretending. I don't really know who I am without the pretending yet.

This is the first pride I've been to as myself. Bear with me if I cry a little.

I kept waiting to feel different after I said it. I just felt relieved.

Nobody gets to tell you what your identity means. Not even me.

You're allowed to still be figuring it out. The label can wait. The feeling doesn't have to.

I'm not asking you to announce anything. I'm asking you to stop hiding from me.

You looked so free today. I don't think I've ever seen you look that free.

Love is not a phase. I need you to say that back to me like you mean it.

I've loved you in every version of myself. That has to count for something.

My mother cried. I don't know yet if they were good tears or bad ones.

You didn't flinch. When I told you, you didn't flinch. Do you know what that meant to me?

I used to pray to be different. Now I think I was praying wrong.

Hold my hand. Not for anyone else. Just because I want you to.

I found the community before I found the word. That's how I knew I was home.

You are not too much. You have never been too much.

I spent years shrinking myself into something easier to love. I'm done doing that.

She smiled at me and I forgot every lie I ever told myself.

The world is loud today. Can we just be quiet together for a minute.

I'm not brave. I'm just tired of being afraid.

You loved me before I knew how to love myself. I don't know how to thank you for that.

Stop apologizing for existing so loudly. That's the whole point.

I kept the letter for two years before I sent it. I'm glad I finally sent it.

You're the first person who ever made me feel like this was something to celebrate.

I don't need anyone's permission. I just needed my own.

I'm not confused. I have never been less confused in my life.

You came. After everything, you came. That's all I needed to know.

There are so many of us. I keep forgetting how many of us there are until days like today.

I wrote it down before I could say it. Here. Read it. Take your time.

You make being this feel like the most natural thing in the world.

I hid it for so long it became a habit. Breaking habits is hard. You make it easier.

We don't have to call it anything. We just have to be honest.

I used to think the love I wanted was too much to ask for. Then I met you.

My chosen family showed up today. My blood family didn't. I know which one counts.

You kissed me in front of everyone and I think my whole life changed in that second.

I have never felt more like myself than I do standing here with you.

Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done. Everything else was the hard part.

You told me it gets better and I didn't believe you. I'm starting to believe you.

I don't want to be tolerated. I want to be celebrated. Is that too much to ask.

We made it. Look around. We actually made it here, together, and we're okay.

[m0retapes]

i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. -> Evan

( @purgirltory I'm too lazy to make a post but new thread maybe...)

-- it's cold night air on his skin, eyes that see too well in the dark now glint up at the moonlight from the window. He's in bed and it's a heavy sigh as everything aches. It always aches when HAB.IT is done with him. Arms and shoulders sore from stabbing ripping tearing breaking.

His muscles don't hurt though, not his shoulders. No, they sting, like a sunburn. It's new, this strange feeling sinks in his gut.

But, no. As he sinks back into his body he can locate the ache better. It's his legs, his glutes and quads and his cock is raw and sore and

It's nail marks on his shoulders. From her.

They've been growing closer, something he's started seeking out across interations. His bright light, the two of them trapped in hell. Not buddy buddy yet but enough traumabonding to pretend. And HAB.IT couldn't have that, could he?

She starfishes against his side, one leg and arm thrown over him, sticky warm against the cold air. She's solid and breathing peacefully and, he doesn't even remember anything so he's not sure how much she enjoyed it but there's a flash of her o-face and a wide grin and it's enough to feel used, betrayed.

He's frozen for a moment, listening to her breathe. Unsure what hurts more: his body formed into a weapon against both of them or just himself. If she'd enjoyed it or not, with HABIT.

How long it's been going on without him remembering, old iterations and longer gaps to hide this feeling between his legs that's definitely dried blood or worse.

She stir slightly and her hair is silver in the moonlight, her golden eye colorless in this purple night haze. And Evan, Evan, EVAN, is quiet, silent, efficient and effective. He pins her on her stomach, wrists between his fingers. God, her ass feels so warm it's not fair. She's exactly what he wants, or close enough in this hell. Maybe bigger tits.

She mumbles what's going on and he's silent, maybe that's the giveaway as "I'm sorry" starts spilling from her lips -- he just growls softly.

He's soft and exhausted but he takes himself in hand and tries to slit himself inside her, she's still open enough he can jam his tip inside awkwardly. Just, just give him a minute, he'll get there, he'll force his way inside even if she's spasming and hurting and maybe he'll enjoy the turnabout.

He yanks her hair back, aiming her skull to the headboard as his other hand grips her waist. Wants to punch her in the ribs, beat the fire out of himself but she'll enjoy that too much, won't she?

He's half hard now, savoring the way her face cracks against the headboard as he thrusts.

"Tell me, and be honest now sweet cheeks. How often have y'all done this? Or is this the first time? Which one of us did a better job using my cock? Any tips or tricks to make me feel more like him? Hm?"

[videog4mes]

ENEMIES, FRENEMIES, IT'S COMPLICATED! a collection of random dialogue and action based concepts for those muses that'll never (or maybe eventually) get along. some nsfw themes and strong language ahead. change verbiage and pronouns as needed. (send + reverse if desired.)

dialogue.

i trusted you. my mistake.

i'll never forgive you.

i'll spend the rest of my life making you miserable.

we'll never be the same again.

you crossed a line.

you and me? we're done.

beg. for your life. for forgiveness. just beg.

are you going to beg?

i almost had you.

you were lucky last time. not this time.

they're dead ... because of you.

you took everything from me! what more do you want?

i'm not mad that you lied to me. i'm mad that i can't trust you ever again.

i will sacrifice us both just to make a point.

making each other miserable is our thing. don't try to change that.

this is my revenge.

something about you makes me want to be violent.

how could you?

why did you come back for me?

i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.

i won't make that mistake again.

you betrayed me. i suffered.

how fucking dare you!

how the fuck could you do this to me? to us?

our story ends with your end.

i won't show you mercy.

why are you helping me? i don't like you!

just this once.

you won't always be able to cheat death.

concepts.

on sight. sender and receiver have been on opposing sides for years. anytime one of them sees the other, it's bound to turn into an altercation.

knife wound. sender stabs receiver with a small blade.

pointed end. sender holds a blade to receiver's throat.

enemy of my enemy. sender or receiver saves the other from an oncoming attack from a third party, forcing them to temporarily be allies.

fist to kiss. sender kisses receiver without warning after a moment of high tension and close proximity shared between the pair.

enemies to lovers. suddenly sender's and receiver's banter and fighting turns into something more than hateful encounters.

headlock. sender manages to pull receiver into a headlock and continue a physical altercation.

betrayal. receiver confronts sender over feeling betrayed by them.

enemies with benefits. sender and receiver engage in a physical relationship despite the fact they're enemies.

[chipsandbeermag]

[advancedlawnmowingtechniques-de]