The End of my Productive Life

[alethianightsong]

Ok, so in the original Bram Stoker novel, sunlight is not lethal to Dracula. He just loses most of his powers. I'm bringing this up cuz I want a horror comedy where the hero, sensing dawn, tears off the curtains as a last-ditch effort only to have the vampire go "Aw shit, there goes most of my fancy powers. Guess I'll have to beat your ass the old-fashioned way" then proceeds to just deck the hero cuz a vampire at half-strength is still a fucking vampire.

[aetherograph]

Last ten minutes of the movie is the vampire just beating the shit out of everyone to I'm Walkin On Sunshine. I would watch this.

[trellanyx]

Alternatively -

Hero: Ha! You have no powers!

Vampire:

[labelleizzy]

I neeeed that Walking On Sunshine scene tho, for resln

[achillesinhighheels]

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things ?

[theproblematicblogger]

So I have a question for my followers: are there any conspiracy theories you’re 100% convinced are real

[berqamot-deactivated20190704]

Canadian prime minister Justing Trudeau is the illegitimate son of the late Cuban dictator Fidel Castro

[unstumpabledeplorable]

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

[feminists-against-feminism]

Castro with Treudeau’s parents

holding Justin’s older brother as a baby

Supposed parents are both white, yet Justin has Brown nipples

[ampersand-prime]

See, the nipples angle is just not something I would’ve thought to pursue

[feminists-against-feminism]

1000$ says his brother, who actually looks like his father Pierre, has pink nipples.

[theproblematicblogger]

Do we have a picture of Fidel’s nipples? My searches have yielded fakes and forgeries.

[papa-peach-deactivated20241019]

The FBI agent watching me is about to be very concerned.. *opens Google and starts typing*

Fidel Castro’s Nipples

[mikkeneko]

the whump fan’s dilemma

[mikkeneko]

the notes on this post really do paint a picture of the psychology of fans, don’t they

[rogueofcrows]

[clarityofhatred]

YES. YOU GET IT.

[kaijuno]

[wizardshark]

This is because snow doesn't bounce sound waves like concrete does. When the world is like this it's LITERALLY quieter. The snow muffles sound

[wizardshark]

lot of you guys want to bleed to death in this photo!

[reallyndacarter]

It's June 1. It's time.

Go be gay.

[fullyerecteggplant]

[allpiesforourown]

If you are a vampire NEVER feed from someone named Richard. 400 fucking years and everyone still calls me Dick Sucker

[allpiesforourown]

FUCK OFF VLAD I KNOW ITS YOU

[despazito]

If megan thee stallion was on veggie tales she'd be a green onion called megan thee scallion

[rhinco]

you know what dad? maybe i don't wanna be the saviour of the broken, the beaten and the damned. it's a lot of pressure to put on me and honestly i've been feeling stressed recently because of it

[concentrated-mug-of-me]

hold on lemme google something

[concentrated-mug-of-me]

ok yeah this is funny

[spiced-wine-fic]

[threeofswords]

ohh yeah im a real piece of shit 👍 job please

[mwagneto]

i forgot to post this last year so im scheduling it to post march 15th 2024 (it's march 17th 2023 rn)

[writhe]

“you all are great people, and what you’re doing is art, but it’s also a crime punishable by 28 days in prison” is a real sentence that got said to me tonight by a security officer i think i’m living my best life

[writhe]

this is what was happening if anyone was wondering 

[zetrystan]

Technically true.

[zetrystan]

He got the job.

[zetrystan]

He takes his job seriously.

[zetrystan]

Prof Rad over on youtube dubbed the Wolf Hunter comic (click here)! 

Go check it out and give them some support! :) (also the end killed me haha) ₍ᐢ•ﻌ•ᐢ₎

[zetrystan]

The farmer sheared the sheep, and it was used to make a gift for Wolf Hunter, so…

[zetrystan]

Wolf Hunter goes to the village markets.

[zetrystan]

Wolf Hunter and his conga line of sheep.

[zetrystan]

Wolf Hunter was looking for them for a while.

[western-woods]

[rattle-my-stars]

[filiseverus]

The Barbie movie reminded me about how when I was little my parents were upset that I kept making my Barbie dolls kiss, so they bought me a Ken doll. The next day they found me having a funeral for poor Ken in the garden, he had died of tuberculosis. All the Barbies were in attendance and I buried him under our rose bush. The Barbies were too poor to afford a headstone (it was 1875) so I didn’t mark where the grave was and I never could find him again. He’s probably still there.

[lordgroose]

my favorite work memory from this store will always be “hey remember when the subway inside the store closed down and they let me take a bunch of their shit for free and now it lives inside my house?”

my life is a joke

[tench]

Real life sims 4 career ulockable furniture