M★d B★stard

he/him | 18 | transmasc | Just posting my thoughts, if you get confused I'm probably confused too

[m4dzzzzz]

Introduction post!!

Finally doing an intro, cause I didn't really feel like this blog needed one but wtv, I'm doing one now :p

(last updated July 1st 2026)

★ My name's Mawena, feel free to give me nicknames, I love nicknames.

★ I'm 18.

★ I'm a trans guy. Kinda non-binary/genderqueer around the edges but that's not really relevant. I go by he/him and he/him only.

★ Bi-curious (I already know I like women), not strictly t4t but I have a preference. I have a beautiful girlfriend that you'll have the pleasure of seeing me gush about pretty regularly. I'm also poly, kind of ? (Still figuring out a lot of stuff, you'll notice)

★ This blog was originally supposed to be a vent blog but it's kind of turned out to be whatever goes through my mind at the moment, but I'd still recommend not interacting if you're not good with really sad stuff. Or really angry stuff. Or just...stuff that's a lot?

★ Expect a lot of queer related content. I've been and I still am struggling to accept my own queerness, so it's what most of my vents will be about.

★ I'll probably post/repost NSFW stuff but nothing too extreme. I got a sideblog for more explicit stuff (DM if you want it). Uhh, nothing too sexual happened here yet, but there's also gonna be a shit ton of forcemasc content around here. Just a heads up.

★ I'm a cat, and I'm a ram, but I'm not a therian and I'm also more than just a furry. And it's not just a petplay thing either. I'm sure there's a proper word out there for this but I'm not gonna bother figuring that out, I got too much on my plate already. So turns out "otherhearted" was not a complicated term to find. I am sheep/ramhearted and cathearted (more ram than cat to be honest)

★ I'm also too lazy to make a DNI list. I don't have strict rules anyways. Just don't be a jerk, if I don't like you I'll just block you and move on with my day. Don't take it personally.

★ English isn't my first language, so expect broken English here and there, cause I honestly couldn't care less. I just need to get my thoughts out of my brain for a moment, doesn't matter if it makes sense to others or not.

★ Asks and DMs open, I'm always down for a chat. I'll reply whenever I can, but I don't expect to make friends here.

★ Goddamn I use the word "expect" a lot.

★Tags :

#str(ram) - my own posts talking about wtv

#input() - asks

[your-fave-is-transmasc]

the word loser is transmasc cause I’m a loser myself and loser boys are always gender

The word "loser" from real life is transmasc!

[lilw3irdo]

quote of the day:

“are you fucking stupid or is stupid fucking you?” -my sister

[xxrottnboixx]

[m4dzzzzz]

Well that was a great anonymous ask to wake up to (sarcasm). Uhh... Not gonna reply to it because I think I'll never hear the end of it if I do, but I hope you know the urge to turn it into a joke was really strong and I'm kind of sad that I know better than to do that. It would've been really fucking funny.

Anyways, have a nice day everyone, you're all loved and beautiful and the world is a much better place with you in it 😽

[m4dzzzzz]

Is it crazy to say that being dysphoric...gives me dysphoria? Like, why am I crying over not being a real boy? who tf am I, Pinocchio?? Grow a fucking spine bro that shit is not manly at all smh. Get up and do smth productive, idk

[wetdirtguy]

Me spending time with people: joy abounds, we are all connected and there is hope!

Me 1 day later: I need to be left alone to gather the pieces of Me together

Me 2 days later: there is something very rotten at my core and I will almost certainly die unloved

[h0lyshift]

there are entire versions of me hidden in old playlists

[pansyfemme]

“never kill yourself” is such a funny phrase to me that i think it’s accidently started working. its like an affrimation. say ‘never kill yourself’ enough times as a joke and maybe you won’t try to kill yourself over minor inconviences anymore

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[jesse-is-spiralling]

[koiagain]

IM LOCKING IN . AUGUST WILL BE FOR FIXING MY WHOLE LIFE

[opiates]

[thememedaddy]

[m4dzzzzz]

I'm seeing more and more ppl interacting with this blog and my nsfw sideblog back to back and I'm scared that I might have been discovered 💔 this is scary y'all are not supposed to know I'm a freak 💔

[deathhull]

blogs without an intro scare me so bad who tf are you?????

[bornincorrect]

You don’t have to be an army man.

You can be a wrestler. You can be a doctor, a boxer, a huntsman, a fire-fighter- maybe even a gimp.

Just not an army man. The least masculine thing you can do is risk dying for a country that doesn’t even want you, solider boy.

Let’s shoot for higher goals, alright?

[m4dzzzzz]

Making extra research about the effects of testosterone and giggling and clapping every time I discover a new one

[m4dzzzzz]

Fuck cardio, can't I just be big and fast without it? I'm not exactly parkour ready. Climb something today, see how fit you are. I made it up a couple short walls and fences. Still feeling it today. 🚫

I need to hold off on the headbutt. Shit.

I've got a love-hate relationship with cardio. It feels great afterwards but I hate every single second of it. Like actual thoughts that would seriously concern a psychiatrist. But once it's over, don't you love feeling exhausted, properly worn out and sore all over? That's how you know you pushed yourself to your limits. Feeling it days after is a reward.

Unfortunately I'm recovering from surgery right now, I can barely walk without crutches and it feels so humiliating. I've lost so much muscle in my leg and I can't wait to gain it all back.