Ya'll are Trash Pandas, B/c You Like My HotGarbage
@madllamamomma
The Arcana fandom (mostly Muriel ❤️❤️); OG Fanart & Fanfiction found here mixed with some other junk. (Please do not interact with unless 18+) NSFW Twitter art account @Madllamamomma🔞 ao3: madllamamomma
These are all my works thus far that I have written about my female OC named Rhemi and our favorite mountain man, Muriel. They are all connected with one another. Here they are placed in chronological order (as best as I can that is it’s a bit all over the place). This will be updated of course.... as I write more.
WARNING: Most of these are NSFW, have topics that can be triggering, and are typically not suitable for trash pandas under the age of 18, and/or contain smut. Reader’s discretion is advised. So don’t be a silly little trash goblin.... please. 🙃
It’s Called a Door~ (short story)
Lightweight~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 1
Lightweight~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 2
Lightweight~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 3
[Julian x Asra version of Lightweight~]
An Apprentice & A Doctor Walk Into A Bar...~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 1
An Apprentice & A Doctor Walk Into A Bar...~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 2
An Apprentice & A Doctor Walk Into A Bar...~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 3
Potions and Meadows~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 1
Potions and Meadows~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 2
Potions and Meadows~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 3
The Guardian~ (shorty story fluff)
Pumpkin Bread~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 1
Pumpkin Bread~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 2
Pumpkin Bread~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 3
Pumpkin Bread~ (NSFW/SMUT) part 4
The Lullaby (Revised Edition)~ (Short Story Fluff/Angst) [2024 v.]
The Lullaby~ (Short Story Fluff/Augst) [2020 version]
The Cave~ (NSFW/Low SMUT) part 1
The Cave~ (NSFW/Low SMUT) part 2
The Cave~ (NSFW/Low SMUT) part 3
Mud and Theives~ (kinda NSFW/low-key smut) part 1
Mud and Theives~ (kinda NSFW/low-key smut) part 2
Mud and Theives~ (kinda NSFW/low-key smut) part 3
Light Reading~ (Short Story NSFW/SMUT)
The Nightmare~ (Short Story Fluff/Augst)
Journey Back To The South~ (Masterlist of its own) ✨
The Visitor~ (Masterlist of its own)
** Just a reminder that I am also found on AO3 (ArchiveOfOurOwn.org) under the same username where you can also find all of my fanfics. 😉
Journey Back to the South~ Muriel x MC (Female OC) Chapter 1 NSFW, 18+, SMUT + FLUFF
[So this is the super smut I was promising. This is gonna be hella long, so buckle the fuck up trash pandas. This is A LOT of fluff].
Journey Back to the South Part 1~
————————
It’s pitch black on the tundra tonight. It’s cold, and almost icy.
I can hear a woman singing… I know that song… but where have I heard it before?.. I don’t know that language… But…. Why does it sound familiar?
It starts to fade, and I chase it in the darkness, realizing I am running on all fours. I have claws and I’m covered with thick dark fur. Suddenly the lights in the sky burst with bright color. Animals, mostly bears are all around, all different shapes and sizes, they all look up at the lights with warmth and happiness in their eyes. They all start to walk closer to the lights. Without warning, they all start flying in the air, frolicking and happily play with one another as they assent the lights. No one takes notice as I watch from the ground in awe. It’s a strange, but beautiful sight to witness.
This took longer than I would like to admit. Between Nana and the pattern on Muriel’s new jacket from his sprite, 😩. I had my work cut out from me. Muriel proud of his new plant magic skillz he learned from the Kokhuri (from my previous arch JBTS~). I had to 💕
[WARNING!!! Depicts violence, trauma, and abuse. Views discretion is advised, 18+, probably NSFW]
Belly of the Beast~
Slowly Muriel blinked his emerald eyes open only to find himself being swirled around and around in the endless dark liquid. His hefty body weightless inside of the dense tar as he was tossed and turned like it was a mere twig in a storm drain; stuck in a never ending whirlpool. Seemed like the more he’d fight and try to get away, the worse his ensnarement would get.
Doing his best to hold his breath, the hermit kept attempting to swim and find a surface. Finally the realization that a surface didn’t really exist and he might as well be in a bubble; an endless circle of tar and darkness. Horrified by each passing moment, he began to feel his body calling him back to reality. Now he was caught fighting between two strong urges to wake up and the instinct to not drown in the dark muck. His face tightened as he tried to not let any precious air escape and fought against the tether to his body in the real world pulling him back.
Suddenly he could hear a familiar voice whisper in his ears, “Breathe.”
In an instant he hauled all movements, frozen with confusion. It felt like it came from nowhere, was he losing his mind? But then, “Just…Breathe.” It repeated. The voice sounded rather sweet and soft as it spoke, and Muriel felt a bit more at ease. It then became evident that he was no longer spinning endlessly in a whirlpool, but rather flowing in a calm dark.
“Breathe, Muriel.” The voice repeated one last time.
Finally, out of options, Muriel opened his mouth letting the tar enter his lungs. He choked on the black liquid at first, unable to stop himself from coughing. But as soon as he fully inhaled, he realized that he wasn’t drowning. Despite the escaping air bubbles and all of his other instincts, he stops struggling and keeps still for a moment. He stayed there floating calmly, it was eerily calm. He waited for a moment to hear the sweet voice, but the voice disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
“Asra?” Muriel then called out, but what came out was muffled mumbles, air bubbles, muted grunts and gurgles. “….Rhemi?” The same. There wasn’t any way anyone could hear such a faint noise.
Despite it, he tried to call out Rhemi’s name on the top of his lungs. But yet again, his voice was muffled like it would be when you’d screaming underwater. Only the bubbles that came out of his mouth and nose seemed to have a mind of their own as they dispersed into different directions, (not very helpful when trying to find the surface).
He gave it a large sigh as he observed his surroundings and gazed around into the emptiness unsure what to do next. Finally, he felt feet land on what he could only assume was the bottom. “How could this thing have a bottom if it didn’t have a top?” He thought to himself. With his feet touching what he thought was the bottom, he could feel movement under his feet move. It was as if he was inside the belly of a beast that was dragging its undercarriage on the ground like a fat dragon.
Muriel then looked around again about to call out again in this liquid prison for his companions. But before could open his mouth, he heard another familiar voice. This time it was small and very squeaky and high pitched, nothing like the one before telling him to breathe. But who else would be in here? Better yet, how would they have gotten in here? Then at last his eyes found the little creature as it scurried in front of his feet. “Rem-Roo!! Rem-Roo! Rem-Roo!” The ferret muttered as he pitter-pattered away. It was strange, he didn’t seem to be underwater like Muriel was. It was Ezavior… Rhemi’s late familiar she had as a child. What was he doing here? This darkness wasn’t a memory… was it? What even was this place? Was it even a place?
“Too many questions… not enough answers…” he thought.
Unsure what to do, the mountain man blinked a few times before he finally followed the creature’s trail.
It was still very dark all around him, but the little creature seemed to emit a slight warm glow. Muriel dragged his long legs through a slight current to keep up with the ferret and had to use his large arms in a kind of swimming motion to keep up with the creature. At one point, Muriel thought he'd lost the creature. But then he noticed the ferret stopped and looked back towards him. Wait… Could he see him? Wasn’t this a memory? But if he saw him, how could it be a memory? Did Ezavior… want Muriel to follow him? Once the hermit caught up, the creature started to scurry with his little legs again. Well, whatever this was, Muriel wasn’t going to let this get away.
————Asra––———
The magician floundered ceaselessly in the tar, feeling like he was just going round and round in tight circles, doomed to drown in the dark by himself. He could feel his chest pound harder and harder as panic set in and felt himself about to wake up. But then amidst the floundering, it finally occurred to him— None of this was real. Not really anyways. His body was back home in the shop asleep next to Muriel on the floor. He was safe. When he and Muriel were running around the mansion trying to catch the little Rhemi, not once did they get fatigued or out of breath.
Of course… This wasn’t the real world! This was basically a glorified fever dream. Finally he stopped struggling and drew in a deep breath then sighed it out. He watched as the bubbles left his mouth and they aimlessly flouted about. He was right! There was no way he could drown. The current finally stopped spinning him about as he took in another deep breath and everything became somewhat calm.
A faint voice radiated in his ears rather dully and he scanned all around him to see if Muriel or the ghost was there. But he was all alone. The voice spoke out again, and he realized it was his own voice. “Rhemi…” His voice says again.
He attempted to say, ‘hello’, but he found his voice muffled by the tar.
He knew just the spell to remedy this, but as soon as he started it, he heard Rhemi’s voice.
She was talking to someone, but he knew this conversation. This was a conversion that had played in his own mind for almost five years. Finally a dim light appears and with it the image of the shop comes into view. Asra felt his feet drop to the floor of the endless tar pit as he helplessly entered into this memory. His eyes widened, realizing which moment in time he was. This was Asra’s and Rhemi’s last conversation before she—No…. Not this—please… Why in god’s name did I stumble here??
It was the day when he left Vesuvia. The day he left Rhemi behind. They were arguing. But this was the last time he ever saw his beloved Rhemi— at least the version of Rhemi he so desperately tried to get back.
————— Muriel—————
With each step, Muriel felt like the liquid was becoming harder and harder to move through, but he had to follow the ferret. He couldn’t lose the best lead he had since the little Rhemi with a hole in her chest. It was still so dark, he had to squint to see what was in front of him. For a moment, he thought Ezavior was getting larger, but then he realized he couldn't see the creature, but he could see that he was approaching a door. Finally something in the void! And a familiar one at that! It was the door to the Rowdy Raven. Half expecting to be pushed back like before, he reached his hand to the handle, but instead of it swinging open, he fazed through like an illusion.
Confused, he took back his hand and stared at the door for a moment before trying it again. But it was no good. He might as well be a ghost himself. His head cocked back as he signed defeated, just making a cloud of air bubbles. Suddenly, he could hear all too familiar voices coming from behind the oak door. He then got an unusual idea, he stuck his head right through the door. The sudden surge of light nearly blinded him, but after a few good blinks his eyes adjusted, and he could see Rhemi. This has to be his Rhemi! He attempted to call out but only water gurgles came out.
Ecstatic, he clumsily fazed through the door completely and half ran, half swam as fast as he could towards her. Rhemi! The corners of his lips curled up in a relieved smile and his chest started to flutter… but then realized her hair and her outfit. She had her head down on the bar top clutching to a half drank pint of ale and broken glass and liquids was littered around her. She had a black plague doctor’s jacket on, and her hair was shorter than she kept it now, although it wasn’t as short as it was back in the colosseum cell memory. But it was obviously not the one he had thought. She was at least well into her twenties now. This must be a memory too. “Damn…” he thought to himself, feeling defeated. He was getting tired of being only a spectator in this place.
Strangely. This memory wasn’t like the others he had seen back in the mansion. These memories didn’t have designated doors. It was as if they randomly appeared.
Just before he started to lose hope, he heard rattling chains coming from behind him. He turned around and saw his own face. Taken aback, he watched as his younger self entered the tavern with his tattered old cloak covering his head, his broken chains around his wrists and neck, that dark-sad look in his eyes, and his discomfort around anyone. Ever his silent self, he quietly walked over and yanked the drunk woman off the bar and she started kicking, swearing, and hurling insults. Muriel cringed as he started to remember this memory. This was… well…. It wasn’t a good one… Why couldn't he stumble into a good one for once? Honestly, he never realized how bad these two’s interactions were. It wasn’t like they were much different than his other interactions with people back then.
The memory’s scenery suddenly moved with them as they walked through the city, but it went by in intervals, like she didn’t remember chunks of it. Finally, after persisting and protesting more than half way home, the younger Muriel let Rhemi down to give his shoulder a break where she was kicking him. Although she staggered and stumbled on the uneven cobblestone, she was insistent on walking on her two feet. Her face was red, and she was utterly pissed. “Coulda made it myself, ya know…” She drunkenly says as she turns towards him to flick him off, but then crashes into a full water barrel. “—OOOOOF!” She tried her best not to double over, but she did run into it pretty hard.
“…’Parently not...” The memory of him grumbled doubtfully as he pinched the bridge of his nose. In other circumstances, this probably would have been funny. But neither of them were in a chucking kinda mood.
As Muriel watched this memory, he remembered the reason for the encounter. She was asked to leave the tavern for breaking goblets and bottles behind the counter with her magic as a way to show off. When she refused to leave, the bouncers were afraid to deal with a drunk magician. But luckily Muriel wasn’t too far. Asra asked him to watch her when he was gone. He hated doing it, and sometimes didn’t half-assed. But this time he came a little late to the party, and he had to bounce people out of the tavern more than once.
“…. Why’d ja even bother to walk me home?” The drunk Rhemi asks as she leans on the water barrel and rips off her boots to carry them. “...N-...Not your problem…”
Muriel stared judgingly with an eyebrow sharply raised as she started to hand him the pair of boots to him. But he shook his head disapprovingly. He wasn’t gonna fucking carrying them. Her shoulder dropped and she stuck out her bottom lip poutily. “... Fine…Ya didn’t question the answer though.” She said tying her shoe strings together and slinging them over her shoulder.
Muriel gave her a pointed look. He was pretty sure she meant that the other way around. But then he stood there for a moment, unsure whether or not to explain that Asra asked him to make sure she didn’t get into any trouble while he was gone. It may have come across creepy. Finally, he shrugged and vaguely answered, “Dunno….”
“... Dunno???” She sarcastically replies, terribly imitating his deep bassy voice. “Don’t ya ever fuckin‘ know anything? Fuckin’ swear. A pile of potatoes would know more than your dumb ass…” She mumbled that last part under her breath.
He shrugs silently again, shooting her an annoyed sideways glance. As soon as their eyes met, he averted her gaze to the ground, then huffed, “… Asra’d want you safe.”
Grief flickered behind her eyes for a moment, “Hmph…. Riiiiiight…”, then she flared her nostrils and rolled her eyes as she lifted the seal and unlocked the door of the shop. “…. Oh yeah, because he cares soooooo much about me… Perhaps that’s why he hasn't…. *hiccup*... -hasn’t bothered to write to me, or contact me, or even come home in over six months!!” She tossed the key carelessly to the ground with a satisfying metal clunk as she staggered her way inside. “...Stupid piece of shit motherfucker.” She muttered under her breath as she underhandedly chucked her boots at the bottom of the staircase.
Muriel shook his head, she always was a handful but tonight she was dialed up to eleven. He watched as she used her magic to instantly light all the candles inside the shop. Finally, he could leave. However, before he could turn away back to his comfort of his hut in the forest, she shouts, “… Rude to keep lingering in doorways!.. don’t make your guest wait!” a bit surprised, he stood there awkwardly then looked around to see if anyone else was around. Not only was he unwilling to step inside, but why would she want him to? And wouldn’t he be the guest? This was her home after all. Plus, he’d never really been inside the shop before. They weren't friends. Hell they were barely acquaintances. “Oooi!!! Blanket-Boy! Get your fat-ass in here! You're letting out all the- *hiccup* –freakin’ heat!” She barked. Well now there was no doubt she was talking to him. Disgruntled, he groaned and dropped his shoulders wishing to just disappear. Begrudgingly, the hermit stepped in and closed the door behind him.
The drunk Rhemi took a kettle next to the stove and with a flick of her wrist she got it to boil rather instantly and apparently started to make some tea. Blindly she pointed over to the crappiest stool in the room for him to sit on. Hesitantly, he trundled his way over to it and took a load off while she continued to boil the water despite her half stumbling around the place. He remembered how he thought it probably wasn't a good idea that she was messing with fire while she was drunk, yet he never offered to lend her a hand and just stayed silent upon his shabby stool. He could remember how he thought about just quietly slipping out the door more than once. He could have just said, ‘No thanks’, and be on his way, yet he remained. Maybe he knew something wasn’t alright with her. Maybe deep down he was concerned.
But damn, did he forget how awkward this memory was. The only sound that could be heard was the clanking of the ceramic tea cups, kettle billowing, the popping and hissing of the stove, and that damn tick tick ticking of that god awful coo-coo clock that had about an inch of dust on it. It wasn’t like he really wanted to talk anyway, but it just felt so uncomfortable. He also noticed that the shop smelled rather stale. Normally, he could recall the smell of sweet incense when he’d pass by or meet up with Asra in the back alleyway. But now the sweet aroma was replaced with a depressing aura and a faint whiff of old onions mixed with stale pumpkin bread. The place desperately needed a cleaning and airing out, it didn’t exactly have the inviting atmosphere that it does nowadays. Then again, it wasn’t like she had many customers either since she started working with Julian at the palace to find a cure. Maybe she thought there wasn’t any point to it now.
At last, Rhemi handed Muriel a half filled teacup. The hooded mountain man stared at the cup and his nose instinctively wrinkled up. Not only did she hand him the tiniest cup she owned, but it had an ugly green glaze that looked like wadded up cud. Not to mention, it was somehow warped and uneven and teetered on its ill fitting saucer so the tea kept spilling out of the chip that it had on its rim. Muriel grumbled as he stared at the strange cup, even he had better cups than this (which was saying something). Instead of drinking the unknown concoction, he just stared at it suspiciously and even sniffed it. It did have a faint odor of peppermint and chamomile, but it was practically just hot water with shitty old honey that was half congealed swirling around in it.
Rhemi’s eyes finally fell on him, watching him as he stared at the hot tea with discontentment. Somehow she found his awkwardness amusing for once and she couldn’t help but just snicker to herself as she added more alcohol to her warm brew from a flask. “Pffsh. WOW….” She leaned against the glass case lazily, much like Asra would do, and stared at his muscles hiding under his tattered cloak, as if she just had noticed them. “Shit... You still don’t trust me, do you?” She asks with an eyebrow raised as she takes her first sip.
Muriel shrugged annoyedly, firmly placing the rocky cup to the floor.
An odd slightly flirty laugh radiated from her lips as she kept eyeing him up and down with a bit of hunger in her eyes. “... You…. you hate me… don’t you?” She says with a strange yet sad smile.
Alarmed by the question, he glanced towards her feet as he opened and closed his mouth. Honestly, he didn’t have an answer; if he was being really truthful, he didn’t know what to think of her—Hell, he didn’t want to think of her. All their interactions always felt like emotional whiplash, one moment she was helpful, the other she was spiteful and rather mean. In all fairness, his mind was nowhere near this shop. Really, he wanted to be home in the forest, far away from this noisy city, away from people, away from her, alone with Inanna in his hut and his chickens, next to a roaring fire, far far away from whatever this was. But for one reason or another he was here, sitting uncomfortably inside this girl’s house not drinking weak-ass watery tea.
Taking the silence as a ‘yes’, Rhemi chuckled to herself before downing her spiked tea in two alarmingly large gulps, then whipped her upper lips with her pointer and middle finger provocatively. “… Alright… Could work with that.” She says rather seriously, placing her cup down at the counter, then proceeds to peel off her black jacket seductively and blindly toss it to the ground behind her. “…Never done a hate fuck before.”
“—Huh?” Alarm bells rang loudly in the hermit's head. Stund he just sat there confused as she walked closer to him, she had a loose white shirt under the jacket with a black corset belt. He could feel the sweat beading on his brow as she got closer and closer. He felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end as she leaned towards his face. Muriel had a very different look about him than one would think; there was no red on his skin, there was no flustering or floundering about. Instead his face twisted with disdain as he recoiled into himself. Finally, as he realized there was no way to escape this situation, he quickly pressed his large fingertips into the top of her collarbone and ribs, (touching her as little as possible) as he pushed her away looking anywhere but her eyes, “—The hell are you–?” he mutters in disgust.
Confused by his rejection, she blinked a few times before she scoffed, “…What? Despite my better judgment, You're a man, and I’m a woman…” She says as she stared down towards his trousers biting her lower lip. “… And we're alone…”
He shifted his eyes towards the door then back to her neck and shrugged. “… Aaaaand?” Hoping to the gods she wasn’t being serious.
“… Andddd—Don’t you want to fuck the shit out of each other?” She said as she grabbed her breast.
“…..‘Xcuse me?” Baffled, Muriel wrinkled his nose looking away from her once again, standing to his feet. “What are you–…?”
“UGH!!! It’s a hate-fuck, moron!” Annoyed, she rolled her eyes and her shoulders dropped. She couldn't believe she had to explain this. But then she sighed and smiled as she looped her fingers around one of his belts pulling him closer suddenly finding his nativity kinda cute. “… You know, I call you a ‘stupid fucking piece of shit’…” she says grabbing his wrist moving his hand towards her neck. “…and you choke till I’m red in the face and we fuck the everloving shit out of each other—it’s a very simple concept, Blanket-boy. You can do whatever you want to me and I can do whatever I want to you…. Then after, you can be on your merry way, and we’ll never talk about it ever again…”
Dumbfounded, the Hermit stared at her general direction blankly with his mouth gaped open with a total loss for words. Where did this even come from? One minute she was pissed off and hurling insults and profanities, and now she wants to fuck him? None of this made any sense to him.
But… Now that his current self could see it again, he noticed the cold emptiness in her eyes. Did she even want him? ….Or did she just want to feel something? Judging from her length of hair and the season, this was waist deep into the epidemic. She probably had witnessed scores of people die by now. By the look of it, Asra had been gone for quite some time now. Either way it was obvious, there was something very wrong with her psyche. Now that Muriel thought about it, she died only a couple of months later… Maybe all she wanted was to just not be alone that night. Maybe she felt like offering herself up like that was the only way she didn’t have to be alone.
Finally, Muriel’s past self shook out of his stupor as he pushed Rhemi away and fastened his belt back tightly, making her slightly tumble backwards. “… Hells wrong with you!?”
“Hells wrong with you?” She snapped back as she braced the glass counter. She looked him up and down before a smirk creeped in from the corner of lips as she realized. “... What? … This your first time or somethin’?—" Finally some heat radiated from Muriel’s cheeks from that rather invasive question and he shrunk into himself. She giggled demeaningly as she started unbuttoning her blouse. “I see… That’s fine… I can show you—”
“–STOP!!” He half shouted. “JUST…. Stop!”
His outburst suddenly made her freeze, she felt a twinge of fear from his booming voice. But after shriveling into herself, she stuck out her chest (showing more cleavage than Muriel would have liked) and clenched her fist, absolutely infuriated at being rejected like this. No one had ever turned her down like this before. “... What? You think your precious Asra’s gonna give a shit?—hate to break it to you, Blanket-Boy… but Asra ain’t here!!... HA! Bet ya he’s probably fucked about a three dozen people by now.” Muriel’s fist clenched, and his teeth gritted. She knew that this was an open wound to him, she didn’t care about his feelings, but she was out for blood now. “...Yepppp! Sorry to burst your bubble there, Blanket-Boy… But he doesn’t give a fuck about you–”
“—Do you ever shut up??” He finally growled. He was furious, every muscle seemed to have been tensed as he stood there. “Do you ever stop to think of why you’re here alone??”
“... Excuse me–? I’m not alone… You’re literally the only guy that’s ever said no—”
“—It’s your fault Asra left!!” He barked angrily. For a moment he was surprised by what came out of his mouth. Of course he realized how hurtful those words were. But at this very moment, he didn’t regret what he said. “And it’s your fault you're all alone.”
Rhemi glared at him emptily for what felt like minutes. Then tucked her chin towards her chest as she looked at the floor. Unexpectedly, Rhemi smiled maniacally and started to giggle to herself disturbingly. Tears swelled as she kept her eyes on him. “…. Don’t you think I know that?” She muttered softly as a tear dripped from her lashes. Her smile then fell as she slumped to the ground, her back to the glass case and her knees tucked into her chest. “... Ya ruined the mood…. Get out…”
Furious, the past Muriel lifted his hood and turned his heels towards the door and left without another word. And Muriel watched himself as he disappeared from sight after slamming the door shut. With the heavy force, all the candles blew out as Rhemi was left with only the moonlight from the rear window.
The current Muriel could only watch as she sobbed. He hated watching her cry again and again, he felt so helpless. He knew this all already happened, but all he wanted to do was to hold her. Back then he had no idea how broken she was. But then again, back then he was too. Was he even capable of being a comfort back then? Muriel reached out, but instead of being repealed, his hand fazed through her body just like the door. Somehow this felt even worse than before. It felt like every time he was closer, yet further away from her. He stayed by the poor girl’s side until she faded away.
Suddenly, the ferret zipped past Muriel’s feet as the memory disappeared as quickly as it appeared.
“Rhemi-Roo!” he called out again, darting quickly in another direction. Muriel then got back to his feet and quickly followed once again. Muriel looks back up that there was only darkness where Rhemi was once sitting. She wasn’t there anymore, but he could still hear her cries and he could feel tears welling his eyes as he turned towards the ferret once more.
———–—— The dead Rhemi–––——–
The apparition was constantly and violently dragged down by the currents. Wave after wave fell over her, it almost felt like a thousand hands as they held her down and just wailed on her already weakened body. Their fingers dug into her paper thin skin and she felt like she was being ripped apart. Whatever this thing was, it was hostile as hell. Finally, it let go as she was thrown down to the bottom and both her arms broke away from her body. Feeling the release, she inhaled hard and tried her best to catch her breath. Once regaining some of her composure, she quickly took her right arm and clumsily fused it back together by using her forearm and chest. Her other arm floated away a few feet before she could get a hold of it and fuse it back as well.
Once her limbs regained their function, she exhaustedly collapsed face first to the ground trembling. Pain… There was so much pain. There was always this terrible pain. Slowly she rolled over to her back and gazed up, breathing heavily as she tried to get her bearings. It was dark all around her. It seemed to stay that way for a long while. But then a dim light suddenly swam towards her. Shielding her eyes from the brightness, she sat up rather irritated with all of this shit.
After her eyes adjusted, she saw that she was in a dimly lit hallway. She was back at the shop in the upstairs hallway and could hear faint sounds of a lullaby. It sounded almost like her mother’s voice, except it was deeper and impossibly raspier. Rhemi must have been at least twelve or thirteen.
“Goddamn it….” The ghost muttered now realizing that she had been swallowed by that tar monster. She looked around, ignoring whatever bullshit memory she was in as shouted out for Muriel and Asra, but of course, only bubbles and gurgles came out. With a grumpy growl, she mustered up some magic and pointed towards her throat until she felt the constriction on her throat release. At last, the bubbles were replaced with actual words.
She sighed in relief, and muttered, “Fucking shit….” crystally clear. “Mother fucking, piece of shit, dirty ass tar… Audacity to swallow me…” She grumbled throwing more and more profanities as she stood to her feet.
She opened her mouth again to call out for Muriel or Asra, but then she heard a young girl’s voice mutter, “Mummy?”
Her own young voice sharply drew her attention back in and the ghost then looked back on the memory; as soon as she did she felt her stomach drop. “Noooo…. This wasn’t a memory… this was a dream.” She whimpered confused. Dreams didn’t belong in memories. Not in this place at least.
A young Rhemi was following a trail of brownish-grey feathers mixed with bloody footprints, and scratch marks on the floor boards. “A-...Athena?... Is that you?” She whimpers, still listening to the eerie humming coming from behind the door to the bedroom. “Who’s there??” There was thumping and ripping like an animal was feasting behind it. The door was slightly ajar and the young Rhemi could see a creature inside Athena and her mother’s room that eventually became her own. She could only just barely make out a silhouette of the figure, it was too dark to see and their back was turned away from her but there were feathers everywhere. With shaky hands she pushed the door a bit more, but the hinges let out a rusty sounding, CREEEEAAAK.
The young Rhemi let in a sharp and terrified inhale as the creature halted its feast and slightly lifted its head and a low growl mixed with a haunting dark cooing emanated from its throat that sounded like what a grotesquely tall monstrous morning dove would. The poor girl froze and trembled as she watched the creature drop what looked to be a piece of freshly dismembered deer with a loud THUNK as it slowly stood to its feet. The thing had to have been at least over six feet and it slowly turned its head to face her. The little Rhemi shuttered as she saw their dark large animalistic eyes. There was no white in those eyes, only brown and black pupils that were blown out. The creature just stood there, growling and muttering incoherently as Rhemi nearly pissed herself as she slowly backed away feeling her heart pounding out of her chest.
Suddenly hands quickly covered Rhemi’s eyes and mouth as the memory went black as she felt a forgetting spell being placed on her and all she could hear were distancing screams.
“Stop….” The dead Rhemi whimpered helplessly.
The forceful hand then returned with a vengeance as they snatched the poor cadaver and viciously threw her into another whirlpool. She tried to fight back but it seemed to just make it worse.
When she finally was released again, she found herself thrown into another horrid memory. This time she was in her late teens and Asra had met a new friend. They went off a few times together around the city. Rhemi was invited, but she never did accept the invitation. But this time she did follow them from behind the corners with her mother’s old hooded cloak. It was never clear if they were dates or just innocent friendly outings, but either way, Rhemi was terribly jealous and possessive. The friend's face wasn’t even clear, all the detail that came through was their bright bluish teal beautiful luscious hair. All other details didn’t matter, she couldn’t even recall their gender or orientation or anything like that… She couldn't even remember their face. It was just a blank featureless thing and they did have an annoyingly kind and flirty sounding voice. But what she could only see was that with vibrant pretty hair. She always did want pretty vibrant hair like that.
All Asra and his friend were doing we're sitting near the fountain eating some kebabs and fresh pumpkin bread. But Rhemi was fuming with hatred as she glared at Asra's companion. The past Rhemi could only watch her young self as she conjured her magic as a nearby horse drawn carriage carrying some various goods went by. “Don’t….” The ghost muttered desperately. “Don’t do it!”
Of course this was useless. All of this happens already, but still she wishes she never lifted her hand back then as her magic to spook a horse nearby. Rhemi was hoping for the creature just to kick up mud or maybe scare Asra’s friend a bit. The horse reared up sharply and started bucking wildly. The merchant tried his best to calm the beast, it then broke off from its cart and kept bucking and bucking. There wasn’t much time to react, by the time Asra and his friend tried to get out of the way. The horse’s left hoof smacked into the temple of Asra’s friend. A horrible sounding boney THUNK cracked aside their head and they dropped to the ground violently with a heavy sounding BLUNK.
A look of horror struck Asra’s face as he watched his new friend bleed on the cobblestone and innocent bystanders around scream in terror. The young Rhemi’s hand that casted the spell shook as she stared motionless at the scene unfold. She meant for some moderate chaos to happen perhaps; but she wanted nothing like this to happen. What the hell had she done?
But what’s worse was she could have ran out from her little hole and helped them. She could have helped comfort Asra as he fumbled through his way to heal their injuries. Better yet, she could have helped heal their injuries. She was better at it afterall. And yet she remained hidden behind that corner, doing nothing as their head continued to bleed on the filthy streets. She knew she should have helped this person, but all she did was stared. Everything in her brain was screaming to go and help, but instead her feet turned and her slow trundle turned into a sprint down the alley. And she just kept running.
“STOP!! I didn’t mean to hurt them!” The ghost screamed. “I just… I didn’t want…I didn’t want to lose–”
“Coward.” A dozen or so voices snarled.
The light dimmed and the hands returned, ripping her away yet again into god knows where. It felt like it would last forever this time, but then it finally threw her down hard face first. For a moment she held her face overwhelmed with stars in her eyes. She might be dead. But fuck did this hurt… She didn't even notice the light coming back as she held her poor broken nose.
“Gods… You’re beautiful, Rhemi.” the ghost hears Asra’s breathless voice.
“Ha…. You’re only saying that… that’s what you're supposed to say after..” she hears herself teased dismissively.
The dead Rhemi jerked her head up towards the direction of his voice with dread. “Oh fuck you…” she muttered now angry. As if the other memories weren’t enough…. This one was a bitch slap right across the face.
“No, I mean it.” He said with a half chuckle, tucking her short hair behind her ear.
This was in Rhemi’s room at the top of the shop, late in the afternoon, the candles were romantically lit and the intensity was sweet and fragrant. This couldn’t have been too soon before Athena died, but it was obvious she wasn’t there that day. That must have been when she started working for the palace. Rhemi couldn’t recall how they both ended up here, but all that matters is that it did… Rhemi and Asra were laying naked in the freshly messed up sheets as sweat clinged to their brows and glistened their bodies. They both were so young it seemed. They had to be in their early twenties by now.
He stared lovingly as he caressed her face as she stared off into space. “…I love you…” he finally admitted with that soft smile of his.
“....Wha—?” A look of shock stiffened the young Rhemi as those words sunk in. She shot up on bed and started to breathe a bit faster. “I’m sorry I think I’m hearing stuff. Maybe we should open a window, the incense is getting to me—”
“Rem…” Asra sat up with her and held her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes. “I love you.”
Oh dear gods… He said it again… Frozen, she stared at him stupidly in silence and blinked rapidly.
Asra squeezed her hands as he mustered up the courage to say it another time. “Rhemi, I love you—“
And with that Rhemi quickly snatched her hands away, stood up and hastily started dressed again. “It’s—it’s getting late. We need to tally up the sales for the day. We told Athena we would…” She says with a cracking voice, very badly trying to hide the panic in her voice.
Confused, Asra half stumbled out of bed, grabbed his pants and started to don them on. “Rhemi…I—I’m serious-”
“—Don’t we have a delivery of something coming tomorrow?” she diverted. “.. Is it the crystals or the dried herbs this month? I can never remember…” she kept her back to him, unable to look him in the eye. She didn’t want him seeing her trembling hands as she quickly tied her corset on.
Asra blinked emphatically with a sigh; He knew she was never good with these kinds of things. “Rhemi…”
“—Matter of fact, we actually could use some more spices and teas… it’s not too late! Maybe I can make it to the market and pick up some—“
“Rhemi!” Finally Asra spun Rhemi around and grabbed her face sweetly. “Please….”
Helpless, she stood there and listened as her heart pounded loudly in her chest.
“I… I’ve always loved you, Rhemi. Since we met at the Masquerade. I’ve loved you more and more each and every day. I love you so much I can barely stand it…” Slowly Rhemi lifted her left hand and brushed his fluffy white hair out of his face and he leaned into her touch. “ I… I want to be with you for the rest of my life—” Without warning, she placed her index finger and thumb to his temple and bridge of his nose and a warm sleepiness enveloped him. Just as she finished conjuring up a forgetting spell, the white haired magician sank down to the ground like a sack of potatoes with a THUD.
As soon as he hit the floor she backed away clutching her chest and shivering as she tried to keep herself from hyperventilating. “Fuck…. Fuck… fuck…. FUCK!.” She muttered under her breath unsure what to do now—how could he have said that out loud?? He can’t say that now! How could he ruin this??? Why? Just why??
The apparition grunted and punched the ground with such force it nearly made her break apart again. Why on earth did she do that? Why didn’t she just let him love her? Why did she wait until the day he left the city to realize she loved him too?? “GODDAMN IT!”
The ghost could feel the hands returning, wanting to take her to another wretched memory; but finally she had just about as much as she could take, so she gritted her teeth ferociously. —“ENOUGH!!” The dead Rhemi yelled at the top of her lungs. The embers lit up as she mustered the magic that she could and created a current of her own. With her remaining magic, she reached out, looking for a trace of Asra or Muriel. She could feel the tar’s currents fighting back, but she shot out of there like a cannon, seeking Asra’s magic. Finally she could feel his lavender aura. “ASRA!!” She shouted.
————Muriel–————
Somehow a huge body of water appeared in front of Muriel and he watched as the ferret dove head first into the grey water and disappeared once again. Muriel sighed, getting tired of this game of hide and seek as a long wooden boat suddenly came from behind him. This boat actually looked rather familiar. Back during the plague, he’d been on this boat more times than he’d care to say.
That day Muriel was there ferrying. Normally his job was to bury the dead, but today they needed someone to take people to and fro. That early morning, he shyly guided people on board, telling them to mind their step as he held up a lantern with his tattered hood covering his face. Muriel then realized Rhemi was also on board. She had her hood up and slightly hid herself realizing who her ferryman was. The whole entire trip to the island was silent. It was a foggy dawn and the waters were surprisingly still. Muriel never seemed to even mind. He was just doing his job. Rhemi glanced to the floorboards, there was a large shovel with dirt caked on its edges. She then chuckled softly to herself. She realized she was riding with the man who’d put her into the ground. Muriel outside of the memory’s stomach twisted sickeningly as he remembered this. There was so much happening back then… Finally as they docked a few people were found waiting to welcome her with their plague masks and black coats. They just looked like strange bird people waiting for a sacrifice. Without hesitation, Rhemi stepped onto the dock, ready to face her death. The bird people gently waved her closer and a guard wearing a mask nudged her. Then it seemed she had second thoughts, and she turned slightly towards Muriel. “You were right by the way…”
Confused, he turns to look towards her, half annoyed. But then he caught a glimpse of her eyes. They were bloodshot. The whites of her eyes now almost matched the color of her irises. And her skin was yellowed and blood vessels in her face were broken and pronounced. Rhemi was dying. “… I really am a coward… It was my fault he left….”
Impatiently, the soldier with a spear started to nudge her from a distance pushing the blunt end towards her, pushing her along. She stumbles a bit, before stopping again defiantly, now facing Muriel completely.
“Take care of him…. Will you?”
Muriel nodded slowly, he felt a profound sadness in his chest as he looked at her. She looked so…. withered. Never had he thought he’d see this girl that was so young and full of life be taken away from a damn plague. Not to mention, he never ferried anyone he actually knew.
It felt like this memory took forever, but finally it faded away and the ferret reappeared once again, calling out for his Rhemi-Roo.
————Asra & The past Rhemi————
Unable to move, the white haired magician watched his past self as he packed his bag and walked out the door. In his own memory, he thought that she shoved him out the door, that he was forced out. But here, he just left on his own volition. Was this how she remembered it? Or was this how it actually happened? That argument was not only heated, but emotionally heavy.
His eyes then fell on Rhemi as stared at the door for a few moments. Her fist still clenched in a fit of anger, she looked like she could burst into flames. But she just stood there, part of her refusing to believe that he’d go through with leaving.
“Open the door back…” She mutters. Part of her believed that he’d burst back through the door with his key and say sorry. Then she would too. They would hug, cry it out just like they always did. Everything would be fine like always. Everything will be like it always was. Them against the world…
However then the unmistakable sound of his thin shoes clacking against the wet cobblestone going in the other direction made her heart completely drop into her stomach. “No…” she softly whimpers, still listening to his fading food steps. “…You’re supposed to come back–” she starts to feel her heart race.
But his footsteps just kept getting farther and farther away. He’s really….. leaving…. He’s walking away. Her best friend…. Her only friend she had left…. The last person she had left in her life has just walked away. “No….. No…. No no no no no no…NO!...” She shouts to herself shaking her head as tears stream down her face. She listened once more, he had to come back. He had too… But there was nothing.
The room started to spin as her hands started to tremble and she could feel her heartbeat in her ears. Her lungs started to feel constricted as she pressed her back against the door. He’s not coming back. He’s really not coming back! She slammed the side of her tight fist into the hard wood behind her as she gritted her teeth. Slowly, she slid down and collapsed to her feet as she tried to catch her breath. She kept slamming the side of her fist back against the door over and over again until it trickled blood as rage, resentment, and sheer panic swirl violently around inside her body. Magic starts to pour out, and chaos explodes within the shop. The curtains shredded into ribbons, the ceramic tea cups and saucers on the table shatter into a million pieces, and cold kettle steams starts to whistle loudly with boiling water. Then the tension came to a head as she screamed on the top of her lungs, “—ASRA YOU STUPID FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!” and the glass countertop shattered and ingredients went flying everywhere.
The pain of her bloody hand makes her open up her eyes and she inspects the damage she has now done; her hand was still shaking uncontrollably, but at least the room stopped spinning. Suddenly a broken piece of porcelain catches her eye. It’s Asra’s favorite teacup, a very dainty violet colored glaze with hints of greens and blues over the gray ceramic. It was a beautiful cup…. and now laid there in broken pieces on the wooden floor. It was a prized possession of his… and now it layed in pieces on the floor. And emptiness like other envelopes her whole chest. Slowly her eyes gaze around this now desolate space. It was so dark and quiet now. It has never felt so quiet before. It was so….. empty…. All the warmth that had once resided was gone. She started to rock back and forth, hitting the back of her head against the door. Her neck cocked back as a wave of tears overwhelmed her. With her knees tucked her knees into her chest, sobbing relentlessly, still rocking back and forth. “........Asra…. Asra….. don’t go….. Please don’t leave me alone like this…. I can’t do this all on my own…. I need you…I… love you too....”
Asra stared at the memory, his chest started to feel so heavy. Pushing through the resistant tar, he reached his hand out for his Rhemi but his hand fazed right through her. He then fell to his knees as he watched her sob alone in the dark. He had abandoned her. Of course she was so clingy and possessive, behind it all she was afraid. Afraid he’d leave her, and that's exactly what he did to her. But back then, he just cared about himself. If only he’d insisted on Rhemi coming with him. Maybe things would have ended up very differently.
“ASRA!!” The ghost of Rhemi suddenly burst out of nowhere and found herself feeling some kind of gravity and she placed her feet to the ground. The sound of sobbing carried her towards his direction, and finally she saw Asra as he was on the ground in such distress. Only after she noticed the shop’s state and seeing her past self back pressed against the door did she realize what memory this was. “Oh no….” She faintly whispers. “Asra?” But he didn’t even seem to notice that she was even there. “Asra.” She called out once again but nothing. The ghost then slowly placed her crumbling hand to his back and he jolted his head up.
His eyes red and wet, his bottom lip trembling full of regret. “Rh-... Rhemi…. I… I’m so sorry….”
The ghost looked towards the fading image of herself and shook her head. “Asra it wasn’t your fault.”
“I never should have left you…” He says, choking back his tears.
“… Asra… I could have just as easily opened that door. I could have chased after you….. but I didn’t. You had to do what was right for you. I never respected that. I…. I was such a selfish fool back then. I never could see what was the right thing for us… I only expected you to make sacrifices…. Not both of us…. I did whatever was good for me and my stupid ego… you… you deserved better…”
“I…. I wanted you to be back so badly.” Asra mutters through his tears. “I just wanted to hear your voice again… hear you singing in the shop while you brewed potions… feel the warmth of your skin.. all I wanted was you…. But… you didn’t come back to me…” shame now fills his tone as he admits, “…despite everything after all this time… part of me still wants you to come back.”
Rhemi glanced down at the ground with a sad blink. “I know… but I can’t—.”
“—I know you can’t!!” He sharply snaps, throwing down his fist to the ground. “You don’t understand—I know it’s impossible… I’ve spent years searching for an answer to bring you back, and I still came home empty handed!... And now…. If you were to come back…”
She sighs, gently placing her hand onto his clenched fist. “… Then the Rhemi you have now would no longer exist.”
“I have everything!” His fist loosens as he nods mournfully, wiping his face with his wrist. “There is this… emptiness in my chest… It's been there so long! I… I don’t want to feel like this anymore, Rhemi!” As the words left his lips, his eyes swell more as he cries even harder. It was if he realized that he very much meant what he said. “… All this time…. All I’ve done is mourn you. But it’s been so long, and I just want to move on. I think I’ve wanted to for some time now… I just want to live my life!! I want to be with someone who lo—” He hesitates as he sobs through his fingers and the other Rhemi grimaces a bit knowing exactly what he was saying. The words sting them both, but they obviously need to be said. “I want to love someone else.”
“Ilya…” She whispers knowingly.
Asra nods, unable to look her in the eye. He shakes as he sobs even more. “He gives me everything…. And— and I want to give him everything too, but I—I just…. can’t!! It’s like something won’t let me!!” He then clutched his chest, doubling over. “…. L-like something is holding me back.”
Tears rolled down the dead Rhemi’s cheek, making the embers hiss and sizzle as she stared at the poor magician. He was in such anguish. With a brave inhale, she reached into the left pocket of her skirt. “…It’s hard to admit this…. But I always wanted this… so once I got it… I didn’t want to let it go…” Asra lifted his head to watch as she pulled out a red blob and cupped it carefully in her hands. Confused at first, he just stares at the thing slightly disgusted, half expecting this was going to be like the creepy little child Rhemi with the teeth. “… But if I’m honest… I think Julian would take better care of this than I have. Perhaps I always knew that… maybe that’s why…. I hoped you two would meet...”
The red blob starts to beat, just a single beat. Asra’s chest leaped, feeling a hard palpitation behind his ribcage. The blob beat once again, and his chest seemed to follow as if it was answering its call. His eyes scanned the red blob and realized there were fresh veins and studied the contractions it was making. Then he knew. “… Is that?”
She nodded as another large tear ran down her face and turned to mist against the embers on cheek. She takes his wrist and brings it to the severed organ still cupped in her crumbling fragile hands. “…I… I should have given it back a long time ago.”
———Muriel———
As the ferret and Muriel came upon another dim light, he heard the ferret’s very distinct high pitch voice. “Shouldn’t be here…” The small voice says.
Muriel squinted his eyes towards the dim light. This memory was rather hard to see, but what he could finally make out, it seemed that a child Rhemi and Ezavior were in some kind of dark cellar or something. He had no idea where they were though.
“Pére said he was doing something for work.” The little Rhemi replied with a whisper. “He never brings stuff from work…And I wanna see!”
“Smell blood…” The little creature shivered. “Smell blood… Shouldn’t be here, Rhemi-Roo! Shouldn't be here!”
The child’s adventurous excitement then melted away as an eerie sense of unease took hold of her as she approached the rusty door. It looked to be an old safe door.
Behind the door was Rhemi’s father and another man about thirty years old or so, who was tied up in the middle of the room with a rope that hung from wooden rafters, but his feet still touched the floor. The man was in rough condition covered in bruises, some shallow cuts around his torso and thighs, and some of his teeth littered the floor alongside a fair amount of blood that was new and old.
Rhemi could hear her father speaking in Charlesian to a stranger. Muriel knew that they were speaking in a different language, but somehow he understood them perfectly. “Normally I do not like to repeat myself... and I have just about run out of patients.”
“Please… Monsieur Alarie… I work for no one…” The man whimpered weakly.
“So, if you wouldn't mind, Elias…” Martin continued ignoring his pleads. “...Tell me, who sent your sorry pathetic ass to spy on me?”
“Smells like gardener.” The little ferret mutters.
“The gardener? The one we just got a month ago?” She whispered back behind the door. Rhemi liked that man. He was always so kind to her and even kept some flowers in the corner of the grounds that she liked. Why was he down here with her father? Why was he tied up?
“Please… Monsieur Alarie… I didn’t…” The man hung there for a moment as he treaded off into silence with his hand tied to chains that hung from the ceiling. Martin took in a calm sigh and hung his head before he sat back down to an old wooden chair, then suddenly used his magic to bring a large sledge hammer into the air. The man shook his head desperately begging him to stop.
“No! No please!” The man begged. THUNK!! The sledge hammer came out with a hellish force, shattering the man’s leg bone leaving it mangled and deformed. The stranger screamed so painfully and loudly it left little Rhemi ill feeling. It even made Muriel feel sickened as he watched.
“This is what happens when you do not listen.” Martin says annoyed between his prisoner’s blood curdling screams as he leaned back into the wood chair lighting his pipe for a smoke. “I broke your left leg… Probably beyond repair. Don’t worry, I know plenty of surgeons skilled in amputations.” He says tossing the used match to the ground. “...Now, why don’t we see what happens when you break the other leg?… Or perhaps we break something that you are sure to miss…” He says as the hammer hovered over the man’s genitals.
“Well well well!” Martin smiled as he blew out a bellow of smoke as he stood up and walked back over to the poor man. “… That's more like it, Elias.” Martin then leaned in close as the man muttered into his ear as he patted him on his head like a dog. “Give me a name.”
As Elias starts to weakly whisper in Martin’s ear for the name, a butler sees Rhemi and quietly yanks her back upstairs and shakes her and scold her. She was told a thousand times not to go anywhere near the cellar. But as soon as he started to lay in her even more, he noticed her eyes were blank and she was pale as a ghost. It all felt like things were in slow motion. Then finally, Phara ran over to her student, and the memory started to become hazy as if it was hastily scrubbed away by a spell.
The memory of course faded away, and the ferret returned bounding and leaping away into the dark emptiness, leaving Muriel dumbfounded of what the fuck he just saw.
–———Asra & The past Rhemi———–
Asra sat on his knees there very quietly but his eyes said it all. It was astonishing. Somehow it made sense, of course she had it. He did give it to her after all.
“But Rhemi… wouldn’t she—“
“Your Rhemi has her own heart now…” The specter half smiles with her tired lips. “Your Rhemi has had her own for a long time now….”
“… W-… When—?”
She shrugs, fighting the tears back. “—Since the masquerade… the night Lucio came back, when all the deals with the Arcana were broken.” Her eyes stare at the half heart, gently stroking it with her thumb, the warmth always brought her comfort. “But I-… I wasn’t ready to let this go yet… besides, Rhemi was never the one who had it… I did…”
“… You know…. You always had it.” Asra mutters cupping the back of the ghost's ash-colored hands softly. “You’ve had it since the day we met…”
Now sobbing herself, the other Rhemi chokes through her tears as she glances up to him, “And you had mine…”
For a moment Asra smiles, looking so relieved. The magician stares at it thoughtfully and he wipes his face again, hesitant to take it. “…. What will happen to Rhemi if I do take it back?”
“Nothing…” The specter rasping replies. “She only needed your heart for a while, but like I said, over time she grew her own. You know, she’s much stronger than you think…”
He nods with a faint chuckle, “So I’ve been told..” Honestly he felt rather reassured. The new Rhemi was never a bother, Asra loved the version of her that came back to life, despite her not being the one he wanted back. But he didn’t love her like the way he did before. Over time he realized how special she was too. But the ghost was right, she already moved on, and her heart was with someone else who cared for her. And he couldn’t be more proud of that.
Finally he cups the heart carefully in his hands and slowly pulls it towards his chest with a grateful smile. “Thank you, Rhemi.”
She forces a smile back, her face hissing and sizzling from the steady flow of tears as she gently takes her hand and twists a curl of his fluffy white hair. “I will always love you, Asra.” He pauses, looking back into her red gaze. Even though they were bloodshot, he could still see the beauty in them. They warm pools of brown and red with a deep sense of cynicism that he always thought was charming just like when they first met. Back then, she was just a messed up kid, just like him, and he loved that about her. “…I’m— I am sorry I was never brave enough to tell you that when I was—“
In one foul swoop, Asra then takes the heart in one hand, pulls the sleeve of her shirt with the other and swiftfully pulls her into his arms and he places a passionate kiss on her lips. She tasted like a crematorium and dirt, but he didn’t care. She kissed him back longingly wishing she told him her feelings long ago. But really it doesn’t matter. What was done is done.
They part as they hear a windy howl billow all around them. The tar then rippled and growled as it made a b-line towards the spector. The other Rhemi knew the tar was coming back after her. Quickly, she takes Asra’s wrist that held the severed heart, and she forcefully shoves the organ quickly to his chest. He shutters as the remaining air in his lungs l was pushed out, but then he could feel a rush of warmth seeping behind his torso. He inhaled almost laboriously and looked down to his now empty hand. He could only watch helplessly as the other Rhemi was ripped away as a heavy current dragged her down into oblivion as he felt the emptiness in his chest finally dissipate.
“Rhemi!—” he faintly mutters and he watches her disappear. The world started to become hazy, feeling a strange sense like he was being pulled away as well, yet the tar still left him alone.
“RHEMI!!!!”
—————
Outside in the real world, Julian was on his third or fourth cup of highly caffeinated black tea as he flipped through an old diary that was in the chest that was under the stairs. It was written by Athena, the journal entailing her time that she worked for Lucio before Julian’s time. Some of it was a loosely written diary, but it was mostly notes of her research of the plague. It’s too bad the doctor never got to know the woman more, she seemed to have almost cracked the truth behind the plague years before he even came close. It was honestly an interesting read and he found himself rather engrossed in her writings.
He was about to take a sip of his very hot tea when Asra suddenly jolted violently, arching his back then collapsing back to the floor with a sharp inhale as if something had punched him square in the chest and he was trying to gasp for air. Startled, the tea went flying as the doctor shuttered. But then quickly, he placed the cup down with a loud CLUNK on the table and dashed to his partner’s side on the floor. “Asra??” He mutters, running his long fingers through the magician's white hair worried that something had gone terribly wrong.
“Rhee-….mi” He muttered as he shifted his shoulders. He was still asleep. “Rem.. wait…” he sleepily spoke under his breath again before settling down again.
The tension in Ilya’s shoulders relaxed as soon as his partner calmed back down. This wasn’t the first time Asra muttered her name when he was asleep. The doctor never really got upset about it, he understood their relationship was rather complex and he still had moments where he didn’t seem to be over her. Let’s face it… It’s hard to get over someone who you brought back to life, not to mention after sacrificing so much for them. It was slightly confusing sometimes, and he’d be lying if he didn’t feel a little jealous of it from time to time. But who knows what was happening in the dream realm right now…
Unwilling to disturb the trio’s dreamy work, the red headed doctor sighed as he pulled his hand away from Asra’s scalp then stood to his knees so he could return to his spilled cup of tea. But Asra wrinkled his face with a low groan and in his unconsciousness he grabbed Ilya’s wrist. Surprised, the doctor froze in place and only used his eyes to glance at the other two. Were they all waking up? Was it over? Was Rhemi going to be okay? But his silent questions were only replied with more silence. They were all still as they could be, but Asra was still stirring and mumbling incoherently. Fearful that he’d woken up much too early, and unaware of what was happening inside this dream realm, the doctor slowly sat back down and placed his hand back to Asra’s hair. Instantly the magician seemed to calm back down and fall back to full sleep. Julian then nodded his head and smiled as he petted his white hair again. “I’m here Asra…” he whispered lovingly. This was one of the rare times when the magician wanted to be cuddled and his hair fondled, and Julian refused to let this slip past him.
Julian then stared at the spilt tea on the ground realizing it was going to stain the only carpet that seemed to have survived the botched dinner party with Martin. He sighed defeatedly. “…Rhemi’s gonna kill me when she wakes up….” He then glanced back towards her still sleeping deeply on the velvet couch with a somber look. “…If she ever wakes back up…”
✨To be continued...
[Well... Hello there! It's been a very long long time my sweet sweet trash pandas. I have missed you all so very much. A little update in my life if you haven't seen, I had kiddo of my own just last year! I am officially a Mother Llama! So as you can image, life has been very very crazy. I am still so sorry it has taken me so fucking long to finish this damn thing. Part of me wants to just let it go, but I've honestly wrote about 75% of it at this point and just want to complete this project. Can't promise when this thing will be done, but I will try my damnest to keep cracking away at it! Anyways, thank you guys as always for reading my hot garbage! Mother Llama hopes you all are doing amazing <3]
Nasty case of the sniffles this week, but I still wanted to finish these headshots I made to practice my drawing skills with some fan apprentices, particularly of mutuals or other people I just find neat. There’s more that I love, so I hope to get to practice with them soon.
Fun fact, these last few chapter that took me, ya know, YEARS to finish, yeah they were supposed to be like 2 chapters…. And they turned into like four.
But I’ve written like 14 arcana fics on it and on here, but also had a hard time searching for it. 🤷♀️
In both places in fact LOL.
You may have an easier time if you search on here and people link it/share it? I think there’s a subreddit or something too. Best of luck to you my fellow trash panda! ❤️
I checked your pinned post and it seems like you only write nsfw fics and I filter out the explicit rating on there. And that is definitely affecting the amount of fics I come across