Mostly Harmless

The random-meanderings of a die-hard medievalist, navigating the fine line between fandom and academia. And spending far too much time in fandom. Trust me. I'm a doctor.

[macabre-muses]

vader every time he came across 3po and r2 during the war probably

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME

it must also be shittable

[whyactlikeahuman]

[quasikool]

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

[snoozelolly]

Always reblog the classics.

[slipping-into-madness]

[undeadentropy]

Don't even worry about all that

[montanabohemian]

#well why did he even buy a scrying mirror if he didn’t expect his familiar to scry

[paradoxicalli]

cat understood the assignment

[nat-20s]

extremely funny to me that Kermit the Frog is the only main overlap character between Sesame Street and The Muppets. imagine your day job is hanging out in a community of lovely people that genuinely just want to help kids learn and care about everyone so so much and then your night job is the reason that you have to stay up to date on your rabies AND tetanus vaccine

[nat-20s]

at noon the giant you're hanging out with is Big Bird! a wonderful fellow who likes reading stories and singing and telling fun facts! at midnight there's a giant named Sweetums who makes you feel like you're being hunted for sport

[nat-20s]

Ernie, trying to maybe come out to Kermit: well you know Kermit, me and Bert-

Bert: Bert and I

Ernie: Bert and I, we've been best friends forever, but we're also something else too!

Kermit, who every goddamn night has to tell Beaker and Bunsen to keep it professional, deal with Statler and Waldorf's bullshit, AND update his organizational chart on Dr. Teeth and the Electric Polycule: that's really great to hear fellas, happy for you two! :)

[stellacartography]

Grover, alarmed at having spilled some finger paint on Kermit's flipper: I am so sorry, Kermit. Please forgive me.

Kermit, who deals with a multitude of bodily fluids on his person and all over the theatre every evening, who is unintentionally trampled by large monsters as they exit the stage, and quite intentionally has his little froggy bones launched into a wall most nights by Miss Piggy: It's ok, Grover. I'm a frog. I love baths.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

On Sesame Street: Oh, no, Telly is watching too much television!

The Muppet Show Theater, that night: Gonzo attempts to explain his latest fetish at length.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with

[whatbigotspost]

Hey op thanks for fundamentally rearranging my molecules in some helpful way this fine evening

[5llh]

[autistic-bashir]

getting tumblr notifications from trek accounts with quirky usernames always makes me giggle like yes im so glad to hear that dukatgettinghitinthedickwithahammer has resurfaced

[autistic-bashir]

lifes beauty knows no bounds

[eknippp]

Some of our favorite quotes from Artemis ii so far:

"Copy. Moon joy."

"I have two Microsoft Outlooks, and neither one of those are working."

"Houston, if you could give me about 20 new superlatives in the mission summary for tomorrow that will help out my vocabulary a little bit, that would be great. Thank you."

“If you’ve ever seen the top of the spotlight of the top of the Luxor at night in Vegas, this looks like what it wants to be when it grows up.”

"To all of you down there on Earth... we love you, from the moon."

"We just went sci fi."

"It is so great to see Earth again. To Asia, Africa, and Oceania: we are looking back at you. We hear you can look up and see the moon right now. We see you too."

"We will always choose Earth. We will always choose each other."

“It’s a bright spot on the moon, and we would like to call it Carroll.”

"Amaze amaze amaze."

"I said that we do not leave Earth, but we choose it. And that is true."

"Christina has been sleeping head down in the middle of the vehicle, kind of like a bat"

"It's really fun to be floatin' around, it just makes me feel like a little kid."

"Trust us, you look amazing, you look beautiful."

"'Homo Sapiens' is all of us, no matter where you're from or what you look like. We're all one people."

"I'm proud to call myself the Space Plumber."

"We were all eagerly awaiting the chorus."

"Copy heart. Copy bracelet."

“Welcome back. We are still here. They are in space.”

"Copy. Bubble wrap nominal."

"We have rediscovered the chocolate snacks."

“The truth is, the moon really is its own body in the universe. It's not just a poster in the sky that goes by, it is a real place."

[penandinkprincess]

laughing about the idea of rose giving shane a weighted blanket as a gift and it soon becoming ilya's Number One Enemy in their house

at first it was just because it was a gift from rose, but now??? shane is cuddling up under The Mistress? ("ilya, it is a fucking blanket-") shane does not need to ask ilya to lay on top of him because he would rather be beneath The Mistress? ("ilya, for FUCK'S sake, you weren't even home-") maybe shane doesn't even need him anymore. maybe The Mistress can learn to suck his co- ("i'm going to bed. you can join me or you can keep glaring at a FUCKING BLANKET")

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like rose probably went for the heaviest option available, so like a 40 pounder, so it does have some good heft to it

and i'm cackling about this arrangement being referred to as a threesome as a joke, which is all well and good until someone is reading over ilya's shoulder one day and sees shane send the message, "today has fucking sucked. can we have a threesome when you get home, please?" and is just ???? hello???? what?? the fuck??? are y'all just out here casually having threesomes on a tuesday??? that hollander asks for wiTH A PLEASE??? WHO IS INVOLVED ONTHIS THREESOME FOR IT TO BE HAPPENING ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE????

[penandinkprincess]

not helping this is that ilya responds with, "yes of course ♥️. do you think your mistress can take care of you in the meantime? just this once she can have you to herself."

and what he's doing is just teasing shane to lighten the mood, but person at the coffee shop behind him in line is just

[penandinkprincess]

this escalates to the point that shane really has no other option than to post some kind of statement about it being an inside joke, and ilya of course has to be a little shit about it and post a response on twitter or whatever about, "oh, you will not tell them you are snuggling with your mistress right now, hollander? you will break my heart but not admit it to the world?" and so shane posts another picture that's just a pov from his place on the couch with the weighted blanket over his legs and ilya on the other end grinning SO WIDE because he's SO pleased with himself. and the caption is something like "pictured: my "mistress" and my soon-to-be-ex-husband." and ilya thinks it's SO fucking funny because yes! vindication! let the world pity him (even if playfully).

and this then backfires on him SO FAST.

now weighted blanket brands are sending shane pr trying to get him to mention them/show them off in a picture, and ilya is now fucking SURROUNDED by mistresses all competing for his husband's attention. BULLSHIT. HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED.

weighted blanket eleven comes in the mail and ilya goes live on instagram just FURIOUS. the frame is him in front of a PILE of weighted blankets and he is just

"enough! enough of this! are too many in our house. is like being fucking-shane, what is word? people in utah, they have many wives?"

shane in the background, not fully paying attention: "mormons?"

"those! we are not mormons! household is FULL. marriage is FULL. stop this! every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house."

"every single day i look and there are more enemies in this house" goes viral as a sound for people surrounded by clutter/pets/etc.

shane receives five more weighted blankets.

[ansdrela]

[annabelle--cane]

if you think of yourself as someone with average willpower and impulse control then you may look at someone you think is in possession of a more iron will and think "wow they must make such better decisions all the time and thus be in a significantly better place in life." broadly, I believe this is not the case. in my experience, instead of making frequent small impulsive choices with minimal knock-on effects, people who appear to have strong willpower hold back all their slowly-accruing bad decision energy behind a big dam until a catastrophic epoch defining category five will-fail event explodes the fuck out of the dam and drowns several surrounding towns. which is why if you think you're the willpower georg in this situation then it's important to manually schedule in a medium-tier frivolous folly every so often so you don't just blow up badly at the worst time.

[junglejim4322]

Why did 4 months of this year go by in like a week

[junglejim4322]

Where am I

[morphmaker]

are there palm tree Ents

[morphmaker]

Palm Tree Ents: The Appendices

[adanddavid]

[megslibrary]

In honor of Carrie and Star Wars Day. May the force be with you!

[boghermit]

Happy May the Fourth to this tweet specifically

[bucketofdeltav]

So my beta reader for the Big Fics is an astrophysicist, right. Who is currently also writing a hard sci-fi novel about the exploration of Phobos (more power to them, I cannot with the physics required for that, best I can do is soft sci-fi/fantasy and that reminds me I should finish that story).

Anyway I was bitching about how hard it is to come up with feasible planets in Star Wars because sometimes you need a new planet from scratch and sometimes you need to know more about a planet than the 'has jungles, is probably a moon technically' than Wookieepedia will give you, and they're like 'oh yeah I can do something about that'.

So they've written (in Matlab but they swear it will run as a .exe as well and I may be conscripted to embed it as a web tool at some point) a star system generator.

You input what you know about the planet (ecosystem, population, sun colour, does it have liquid water, does it have a moon or moons, is it a moon or moons, temperature averages, atmosphere, you get me) and it will give you the... everything else about the star system, in obedience to real-universe physics. And if you input nothing you get a randomly generated star system.

And I’m like oh I know people who will be into this with a vengeance, and they're not on Tumblr, so this is me seeing who exactly would be keen on, and I cannot stress this enough, a real-physics comprehensive star system generator.

It's still in the debugging phase (last error fixed: every planet wants to have a population of exactly 5000 regardless of other factors, turned out to be a missing equals sign somewhere), but I'm psyched for this and trying to gauge interest for how high a priority 'make this an accessible web tool' needs to be.