Paradoxicalli

Hi I'm Li, I’m an absolute dork but so is everyone else here. I like hermitcraft, SFAWTDE, DC, dc x dp if I'm feeling super nerdy, and DDVAU. I reblog stuff and occasionally put Hermits in Gotham.

[armengoldira]

Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.

[coughloop]

Guy freezes his hair and it stands tall.

[morwentrouble]

sound on for his adorable gremlin giggles and commentary in a lovely accent

[mikkeneko]

[anniflamma]

Im sorry but I had to share this little animation

[dcxdpdabbles]

Jason: That's enough.

Rude costumer: what!?

Jason: Stop yelling at him, and get the hell out.

Rude customer: Why don't you mind your own business!

Jason: This is my business. Literally. Im the owner.

Rude customer: You're the owner!? I demand a refund!

Jason: Just because you demand something doesn't mean its going to happen. You ate the food. You are not being refunded for that.

Rude customer: It was COLD

Jason: Then put on a sweater.

Rude customer: How about I beat the shit out of you instead!

Jason: *cracking knuckles* Bring it on. I needed a target for my anger anyway.

Danny: I called the cops

Rude customer/Jason: *Shock* what?

Danny: I called the cops.

Jason: In Gotham?!

Rude customer: You know what? I don't really need that refund-

Police: * Throws Tear gas can through the window* STOP RESISTING

Danny: What the hell!?

Jason: Hit the floor! *tackles Danny* This is why we dont call the cops in Gotham by the way.

Danny: Are they shooting at us!?

Jason: only a little

Danny: What does that mean!?

Rude customer: They're aiming for the top half of the store when they know we're on the ground. Hence only a little. He's new in town isn't he?

Jason: Yeah, fresh off the bus. Got into Gotham last week. Please understand, its only third day working here.

Rude customer: No no. Its fine. I get it. Outsiders have it hard as it is. By the way, I'm sorry for my behavior. Been a week....Riddler stole my girl.

Jason: Kidnapped?

Rude customer: I wished. She thinks his bowler hat is attractive

Jason: Damn. Losing your girl to Riddler. Im so sorry.

Danny: WHY ARE YOU HAVING A CASSUAL CONVERSATION. THE POLICE ARE RUSHING THE BUILDING IN RIOT GEAR.

Jason: And who's fault it that? Next time just have me throw them out or stab them with the business knife instead of calling the cops.

[lvgvcy-deactivated20260523]

worrying is like worshipping the problem

[otabekisautistic]

and brother i’m on my knees

[mycroftrh]

people get so confused trying to figure out the Lois/Clark/Superman situation that somehow they come to the conclusion that Clark is cheating on Lois with Superman

[mycroftrh]

I mean Lois clearly has nothing to hide, everyone from here to Krypton’s seen Superman fly her with a chaste hand around her waist. but Clark puts an awful lot of effort into making sure no one ever gets a pic of him and Superman together

what is he worried Lois will see

[mycroftrh]

people shake their heads sadly every time Superman visits the Daily Planet and then Clark emerges from a closet disheveled and tucking his shirt back into his pants. but if Lois won’t see it there’s nothing they can do

[elidyce]

When Lois finds out she thinks it’s hilarious, and when someone finally tries to ‘break it to her’, she’s all ready. 

“Oh, I know.”

“You… know?”

“Neither of them would ever lie to me.” 

“So… *gears frantically spinning* this is like some kind of threesome thing?” 

“Oh! No, no, no, absolutely not. *Lois pauses and grins the most lascivious grin she can produce* I just… watch.” 

Clark gets a lot of very weird looks that day that he can’t understand at all. 

[dustylovelyrun]

@elidyce​ no, no, no. don’t hide a shit-stirring bruce and chaotic lois in the tags. this is an important addition, too. just gives that final touch that’s dearly needed to really complete this, y’know?

[dc-comics-heritage-posts]

dc comics heritage post

[shamesonlydaughter]

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

[fiyero3305]

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.

[captain-acab]

You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?

You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”

He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”

[misscrazyfangirl321]

This one wins.

[janothar]

It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up.  She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out.  First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.

Clark’s introducing her around.  “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”

You blink, and take a step back in fear.  You’ve never seen an 11 before.

[aniseandspearmint]

The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.

Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”

You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.

That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.

[petitstar]

At this point, you’ve seen it all. Miled manner reporters and billionaires at a 10 and a model-like woman at 11. You were really starting to doubt your power. The day you really stopped believeing in it was when Bruce Wayne came for another visit, and this time with a kid. The kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, a bit on the short side.

He was an 8.

[lainathewitch]

The day you started believing in it again was when you saw on tv the formation of something called the justice league.

There were those same numbers over superman, batman, wonder woman and robin. That’s when you put two and two together. You wonder how nobody at the daily planet noticed that Clarke was Superman with glasses. You wonder why you didn’t notice. You wonder why nobody put two and two together that Diana Prince and Wonder Woman looked exactly the same. You look in the mirror as the realization hit you and you see your own number change from a 3 to a 9.

[ribbonsflyingoutthewindow]

I don’t think I’ve ever actually reblogged this magnificent post and that’s shame.

[dc-comics-heritage-posts]

dc comics heritage post

[necromancelena]

*baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws* *baps you with my paws*

[angrymurderchild]

[thatone-highlighter]

Reblog to bap the person you reblogged from with your paws

[morticia-butler]

@writerman

[waestlandbaby]

When you accidentally say the q word (quest) and your knight starts gently clanking from their happy wiggles like now you've done it, you have to send them into the dragon's lair or their helmet ploom will droop and they'll start waxing sad poetic in the moonlight

[paperwick]

[fuckinghellsbells]

I JUST REALIZED WE DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT DINOSAURS SOUND LIKE! THEY COULD’VE BEEN SPEAKING FLUENT GERMAN FOR ALL WE KNOW

[democracykills]

it’s too early for this late night tumblr shit

[thehighladyelf]

GUTEN MORGEN HERR PTERODACTYL

[fieldbears]

WIE GEHTS FRAU MASTADON

[marvelous-freeman]

Oh my god neither of those are dinosaurs and there’s 145 million years separating them both, this post is a palaeontological disaster.

[isnotadinosaur]

This goes here. 

[ink7500]

The intimidation didn’t work :\

[bergoozter]

[redstonedust]

the thing that bothers me with 7 deadly sin based characters is when they cant decide if they embody the sin by suffering from it or by drawing it out of others. ie. if your gluttony demon is a guy who loves eating then your lust demon should be a gooner sex pest. and if your lust demon is a seductive girlboss then your gluttony demon should be a 5 star chef. does this make sense.

[imjunebitch]

imagining wrath as a compulsive ragebaiter

[imjunebitch]

this was a bit but honestly now I'm thinking about how horrifying Sloth would be from this perspective

talking to this guy and they understand you, they seem to really know you. they explain to you your every desire and want, every weakness you have, they know every hardship you have ever faced and they tell you that, on no uncertain terms, the only choice you can make now is to give up. that it's too late. that you need to just stop and give in.

thats a lot cooler than "guy who is lazy" imo!

[finncakes-png]

been playing around with wings and how to stylize them lately,,, and also how avians would work in terms of gameplay and server rules,,, lots of headcanons afoot here lads 🙌🙌🙌

+ lots of Grian specific headcanons as well

[underthenerdhood]

a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

[peterdrabbit]

So chivalry IS dead?!

[underthenerdhood]

you win best response to this post 

[thebubblesareevil]

Danny plays superman

Danny is in metropolis for school and Superman is off planet or in another dimension with the justice league

Danny is sleep deprived and studying for exams so when some super villain asshole interrupts his daily routine he puts them down swiftly only to flee the scene thinking he’ll be found out.

Instead, as he gets to his dorm ready to flee the city one of his dorm mates stops him to show him a funny post about superman stopping a giant robot on laundry day.

What he sees is a blurry, indistinct photo of him destroying the robot.

Danny decided he can work with this.

He was tired of villains fucking around with his day just because superman was out of town for a bit and gets one of the ghosts to help him make a perfect replica of the suit.

He’s bulked up over the years and learned to control his transformation so now all he has to do is transform everything but his hair and eyes and just refuse interviews for a bit

Easy peasy!….until he meets his, we’ll Superman’s, clone.

Superboy confronts the counterfeit kryptonian about him slacking on his duties only to immediately realize this isn’t Superman.

This dudes chill though so Conner decides to just go with it

He doesn’t mind being Danny’s second clone

Lex is confounded by Superman’s sudden immunity to kryptonite

When Superman gets back no one says shit. Why would they? It’s been a completely normal month in metropolis. Though with less property damage.

Conner already explained things to Lois so she doesn’t say anything. She wants to see how long they can keep it up.

2 years pass before clark finds out.

The rest of the league figured it out at various points during the first year

Clark will never live this down

[brightconfusion]